“I have three rules.” Eddie’s voice brought my head up off his shoulder. His bedroom was at the back of the little house, a room I hadn’t yet seen. I barely gazed around because I didn’t really care what was in this room. I was more concerned with who was.
So much of life was unclear, especially for me. But there was something so sharp I knew it would always be in sight. Eddie. He was the first person I thought of when I lifted my head off the shower floor. The person I wanted to talk to first, despite having Maggie nearly plead with me to stay. It didn’t matter we’d had a fight. It didn’t matter my head told me not to trust him and that he was lying.
I trusted Eddie anyway. My heart didn’t care what my head said. My heart wanted him, and so did my body.
“Let’s hear them,” I said, tilting my head to seriously consider these rules. Eddie began to speak, but I held up my finger, silencing him. “I’d just like to say that while I know I am very new to this, I have a feeling most men don’t care much about rules when they’re about to get some.”
He arched a very dark brow. “Get some?”
I shrugged. “I’ve been watching TV.”
Eddie chuckled. “Well, you aren’t most women, and that makes this a unique situation.”
A dark, twisty feeling wormed in my belly. “Have there been many women for you?”
Eddie shook his head. “Not many. I’ve been waiting for you.”
At first the words warmed me, but then my dumb brain got in the way. Did he mean Sadie or me as I am now? I shoved back that thought because I didn’t like it.
“Okay, hit me with them,” I announced.
“You need to stop watching TV, Am,” Eddie muttered fondly as he moved farther into the room and sat me on the edge of what looked like a giant bed.
I glanced around, momentarily distracted by it. The mattress took up half the room.
“One,” Eddie said and held up his finger, gliding back just a little so he could pace in front of me. His bare chest was distracting. He was lean and firm, his skin supple.
“If you want to stop, just say so. I’ll stop. Two…” He went on. “If anything we do triggers some kind of memory, you’ll tell me immediately.” His eyes met mine. I nodded so he would continue. “And three…” He finished. “We go slow.”
I held out my hand. My heart suddenly felt bruised. Not bruised in a hurtful way, but in a squishy fruit kind of way. Like his words caused it to over ripen, and now I was just a puddle of mush waiting for him to scoop me up.
Eddie came forward, took my hand, and tugged it so I would rise up onto my knees. The mattress dipped slightly beneath me, and I still didn’t meet his eye level.
“Can you live with all that, Am?” he murmured.
I nodded, then pulled back from him to peel my T-shirt over my head, tossing it aside.
Eddie’s blue eyes widened and darkened all at the same time. The storm that raged outside seemed to match the one he held in. Even though I was pretty much inexperienced (meaning I didn’t have any working knowledge in my head of doing this), I still knew how much he wanted me. I could feel it wave off him and wrap around me. It was heady, almost addictive.
“My head keeps telling me we shouldn’t do this,” Eddie murmured, his palms hovering over my bare shoulders. “But, my God, Amnesia, my heart literally beats for this. For you.”
“I want you just as much,” I confided.
With a shaky exhale, Eddie’s palms settled over my shoulders and dragged down over my arms, his fingers circling around my wrists. My eyes slid closed. I tilted my head to the side and gave myself over to him.
I trusted him. I hadn’t even tried to. Hell, most days I didn’t want to. But I did. Even after today, after his confessions, after the lies and the truths. Even with all the still unknowns. I cast aside all those thoughts and let the trust I felt surround me. The weight of his hands and the warmth of his skin was all I wanted and needed in this moment.
His hands began to wander, careful and slow. Electricity crackled in his fingertips as they caressed my arms, the inner part of my elbow, and stroked over my collarbone. Gradually, he skimmed the sides of my waist, settling his palms above my hips where my body naturally curved in.
I was trembling beneath him, but not because I was scared. I’d never felt this kind of closeness with someone. The intimacy in this dark room was unmatched.
Thunder rolled overhead, rain pattered against the window, and his lips lowered, drifting over the exposed part of my neck. With a soft moan, I grabbed his waist, tilting my head farther, granting him better access. His tongue seared a path over my skin, so hot when the air brushed over it, I shivered.
Drawing back, Eddie gazed down at me. Slowly, I opened my eyes. He was so incredibly handsome. His eyes, the strength in his jaw, his loopy, dark curls that never knew order.
I reached for him, unable to stay away. After brushing my fingers through his hair, I gripped the back of his head to pull it down. Our mouths fused together and a spark ignited in my chest.
I shoved my body against his bare torso, clutching at his shoulders as our mouths met again and again. Eddie’s hands slipped up the small of my back, stroked over my spine, and reached for the clasp on my bra. Slowly, he unhooked it, letting the back fall open.
I didn’t pull back right away. We kept kissing, and his fingertips explored my bare skin, teasing and stroking until I started to squirm against him for more.
In a surge of desire, I shoved back, our eyes met, and I stripped the bra off my body and tossed it aside. I felt slightly self-conscious, baring myself this way, exposing the scars that told of a past I couldn’t recall. But the insecure feeling was banished the second his eyes grazed over my body and then met my stare.
“You really are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
I threw my arms around him, hugging him close. My skin against his skin, my bare chest rubbed against his. He didn’t do anything but hug me, his lips brushing the top of my shoulder. On impulse, I nipped at his shoulder, sinking my teeth into his skin just lightly.
His indrawn breath made me do it again, and his palms slipped down to cup my ass. Against his chest, my breasts began to ache. My nipples grew hard, and I rubbed against him. The pressure felt good; they ached for more.
Instantly, he picked me up, laid me out in the center of the bed, then joined me on the mattress. His body settled along mine. His mouth dipped to my chest.
The second my hardened pebble was surrounded by his lips, I moaned. Tingles of excitement shot through me as he lightly sucked. I reached for his curls, buried my hands in the softness, and held him to me, silently asking for more.
He obliged, lavishing attention on my breasts until my skin was damp and my body squirmed against the bed. His lips were swollen when he lifted his head. I smiled at him, feeling drunk even though I hadn’t had a drop.
Eddie climbed over me, straddling my hips, rising so his chest came above me like a piece of artwork, and the bulge beneath his jeans was too obvious to deny.
Curious and slightly intimidated, I reached out, stroked my hand over the bulge, and watched him swallow thickly. His throat worked compulsively as I rubbed against his cock, then left it to trail my fingers over his lower abs.
“Is this okay, Am?” he whispered, his voice strained. “Is it okay for me to be on top of you.”
“Come closer,” I beckoned, crooking my finger.
His body folded over mine, and once again we were chest to chest. I wrapped my legs around his waist, his weight pushing me into the blankets. We kissed and stroked each other until my skin was flushed and I felt feverish. Eddie was breathing heavy, and I felt the restrained need pulse beneath his skin.
I pushed at his shoulder, and he lifted, a concerned look crossing his face. I sat up, reaching for the button on his pants.
His hand covered mine. “You sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything. Ever.” I promised.
Eddie rolled off me, practically ripping the pants off his lower half. He was wearing a pair of black boxer briefs, the kind that were tight and hugged his thighs. His legs were thick, wide with strength, and at the center of them, the bulge strained against his boxers. I wrapped my hand around it, giving it a squeeze. He made a sound, and his hips jutted out.
I pushed him down onto his back, and this time I crawled over him. Grabbing my hips, Eddie positioned me so I was straddling his bulge and it hit me right in my center. Surprise widened my eyes when he rotated up against me.
“Oh, that feels so good,” I murmured, still feeling the buzz of pleasure in my limbs.
“That’s nothing compared to what it will be.” He vowed. “Like this, baby,” he murmured, grasped my hips, and rocked my body against his.
I sucked in a breath as desire so strong pulsed through me. Liquid heat slicked my panties, and it felt as though my heartbeat moved down into that secret place. I throbbed, I ached, and there were even twinges of pain.
With every twinge, I rocked against him. His eyes closed, head fell back, and I stared down at his bare chest, smooth skin, and locked jaw.
I loved the power in his body. I loved how even though he could overpower me in two seconds flat, he didn’t. He used his power to give me pleasure. He used it not against me, but for me.
“Eddie, I want more,” I whispered.
His eyes shot open, head lifting off the pillow. He sat up so fast I barely saw him coming. One minute he was lying down, and the next he was sitting up, I was in his lap, and my legs were wound around his torso.
“I love you, Amnesia,” he said, cupping my face and pulling it close. “So goddamn much.” Our mouths fused. His tongue stroked mine, and he rolled, pinning me beneath him.
Instinctively, my legs opened, and he settled between them. I pushed at the waistband of his boxers. He rose and pulled them off. Peeking up, I looked at his dick, so rigid it stood out from his body. I reached for it, glancing at him for permission.
He took my hand and brought it to him, cupping my palm around it and encouraging me to stroke him. Oh, he was smooth. Silky soft. It seemed like such a surprise because he was so hard with need. I loved the combination of soft and hard. It intrigued me. It made me hungry.
I pushed up onto my elbows to press my lips to the tip. Eddie groaned and pulled back a little. “You’re so fucking sweet,” he murmured.
I licked my lips. They tasted surprisingly salty.
Eddie pushed my body back, slipping his fingers into the waistband of my jeans. I helped him push them down, and he yanked them off and tossed them aside.
When he reached for my panties, again he paused to look at me.
I reached between us and shoved them down. The second they were gone, his hand was back, cupping my center, and he made a sound. His free hand gently pushed my thigh, and I spread my legs. A single thick finger slid against my slit, and I moaned.
“You’re drenched,” he whispered, sliding his finger inside me.
I gasped and glanced down. He paused, unmoving.
Our eyes met. “Am?”
“Deeper, Eddie. Go deeper.” I urged.
His finger surged deep, stroked against my inner walls, and my hands gripped the sheets beside me. I lifted my hips, and he slid a second finger inside. The next thing I felt were his lips closing around the swollen bud at the center of my body. He sucked and licked it as his fingers pumped inside me.
Need hammered within me, and all I could think about was getting closer to him, for him to hurry.
I grabbed his hair, tugging him closer. His laugh vibrated my clit, and I groaned. My knees were shaking, knocking against his head, and beneath us the mattress shook.
Eddie lifted his head, his lips slick and shiny.
“Kiss me,” I demanded.
He crawled up my body, lying over me completely. He tasted like me, and I couldn’t get enough.
I felt the tip of his thick head at the center of my body. I opened my legs, inviting him in. His cock slid along my slit, but didn’t penetrate. I felt the silky lubricant from my core coat him, and I started to pant.
“I want to be inside you, Am,” he said, his voice strained.
“Please.” I urged, opening my legs farther.
In one long stroke, he slid inside. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. He felt big, and I was tight. A momentary pinch of pain hit me, but then my body stretched around him, the slick wetness between my legs reducing friction.
Eddie’s body was vibrating, his arms shaking as he supported his weight. I felt him struggle to hold himself still, his eyes seeking out mine.
I cupped the side of his face and smiled.
Relief shone in his face, and then he smiled, too.
He started moving, slow at first. Long, easy strokes that felt like a fire was being lit inside me. I marveled at the fact he was closer to me than anyone else. I thought it might be awkward to have someone actually moving in me, but it wasn’t at all.
It was powerful. Heady. Something I couldn’t get enough of.
I felt my body begin to strain. His slow, easy strokes weren’t enough. My fingernails sank into his biceps, and I squeezed him, surging up against his hips. Eddie’s eyes flashed, and he began to move. Faster, harder…
I began to pant. I whispered his name.
“Let go,” he told me.
I did. Bright lights burst behind my eyelids. Pleasure like I’d never experienced before rolled over me like a tidal wave. Pure bliss was all I felt, and it was amazing.
Eddie made a sound, and I glanced up. His eyes were closed, his jaw locked. I surged my hips up, our bodies grinding together. He shouted and his body began to convulse, and deep inside me, I felt him pulse.
After we both came down off the high, he exhaled and collapsed. Wrapping his arms around me, Eddie rolled so I wasn’t pinned beneath him. Instead, I lay draped over his chest, our legs so tangled together I wasn’t sure what was his and what was mine. It didn’t matter really. Everything I was now belonged to him.
His palm covered the entire side of my head. He stroked my hair and pressed his lips to the center of my forehead. “Are you okay?”
I giggled. “I’m perfect.”
“Was that a laugh?” he asked. I could actually hear the way he raised just a single eyebrow when he spoke.
Against his chest, I smiled. “Maybe.”
“Are you laughing at my skills in the bedroom?” He poked me in the ribs, and another giggle came out.
“No!” I laughed as he started to tickle me full on. “Stop!” I gasped, wiggling so much I fell off his chest.
He rolled, pinning me beneath him. His eyes were warm when they settled on my face. “So if you aren’t mocking my performance….”
I rolled my eyes. “Your performance was pretty damn good and you know it.”
He made a surprised face. “Did you just curse? Did my freckled little angel just say a dirty word?”
I gasped, feigning a shocked voice. “What have you done to me? I’m corrupted.”
Eddie swooped in and kissed me, laughing as his lips brushed mine. My heart nearly burst with fullness, and there was a pang of something else as all this happiness surrounded me.
Guilt.
He felt the change come over me. Of course he did. We were becoming very in tune with each other, and what we just shared only bonded us further.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, drawing back.
“Nothing.” I shook my head.
“Amnesia, tell me.”
I sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. So happy… so carefree.”
“And that’s a problem?” he asked, trying to follow.
I smiled, brushing my fingertips over his cheekbone. He smiled, his dimple appearing. “No. It’s just… I feel kind of guilty.”
“Guilty?” he asked, frowning.
I nodded, trying to understand. “Like maybe I shouldn’t be happy. It feels sort of wrong, like happiness doesn’t belong to me.”
I heard him swallow and watched a curl fall into his eyes when he shifted, caging my body beneath his to gaze down. “If there is anyone in this entire world that deserves happiness, it’s you. That much I am absolutely sure of.”
“I want it. But sometimes…” My voice faded.
He brushed over my jaw with the pads of his fingers. “What?”
“Sometimes it feels like being happy now will only make things harder later.”
“Why would things be harder later, sweetheart?” He kissed the top of my shoulder.
“Because they’re going to keep coming for me. And when they do, this happiness, you, will be ripped away, and I won’t have anything left.”