“You remembered?” Eddie’s voice was part awestruck, part wary as he gaped at the words I’d just dropped into our casual breakfast like a bomb.
“I think so.” I shook my head. “Actually, I-I’m not sure,” I answered, confused. I barely had time to sort out how I was feeling or what I knew. I was too busy being overwhelmed by it all. I was beginning to think an empty mind might be a better one. It was cleaner, a whole lot less messy.
What a reprieve Eddie was. The second he walked in, it became clear why my thoughts continued to drift to him since what happened just hours ago. He was a safe place for my over-exhausted, blank-yet-incredibly-full brain to rest.
“So you aren’t sure if someone tried to kill you?” Eddie said, sitting forward in the chair, nearly balancing his tall frame on the edge of the seat. His voice was patient, but his body language was anything but.
“Oh, someone definitely tried to kill me. They were here. In this hospital.”
“When?” he demanded, glancing around as if suddenly compelled to check every last crevice and corner in this room.
It made me feel better, but he forgot the most important place. A place I would likely fear for the rest of my life. I pointed down at the bed. “Under the bed.”
Eddie frowned. “What?”
“You didn’t check under the bed.”
Indulgently, without an ounce of disdain on his handsome face, Eddie crouched out of the chair, planted his hands on the floor, and actually searched under the bed.
Seconds later, he reappeared. “All clear.”
I sighed with relief. I knew no one was under there, but the lingering feeling of being spied on was very difficult to shake.
“Tell me what happened,” he urged softly.
I nodded, my eyes finding his and latching on. We didn’t touch at all, but I still felt him just through the blue focus of his gaze. He made me feel stronger. I didn’t know why.
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping.” I began, still leaving my eyes trained on his. “Since I woke up from the coma. Lying in this bed just feels so overdone, you know? I lay here for months without moving or thinking… just being here. I’m tired of lying here. It’s just all so unsettling.”
“You’ve lost a lot of time.” He spoke emphatically, sorrow deep in his tone.
It was as if he truly understood. I didn’t know how he did, but it wasn’t an act or even just sympathy. Eddie genuinely sensed the loss I’d experienced. Not just of the time either, but the loss of my mind.
“Last night I had a nightmare.” I pushed on, wanting to spill it all. I wanted someone to believe me. “I dreamt of floating, sinking in the lake. The water was so dark it was like an entire universe all on its own. And I was there alone. At first, I remember feeling relieved, like a soul-crushing weight was finally being lifted.”
“But?”
“But then I realized I was drowning, and my body began to fight. There was a dark figure, a person, lurking at the surface of the water.” I shivered as I recalled the vision.
Eddie gently reached out and took the nearly empty hot chocolate from my hands. I surrendered it to him, then tucked both hands inside his sweatshirt.
It was the softest thing I could remember touching.
“When I broke the surface, he raised something above his head and brought it crashing down over me. He wanted me back beneath the water… He wanted me to drown.”
“It was a man?” Eddie asked, his eyes sharpening on my face. There was a slight tick in the width of his jaw as the back of his teeth ground together.
My stomach fluttered a little, watching that muscle work.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t see them. It was too dark.”
“You said someone was here, in this room. Was that part of the dream?” He pressed.
Against the warm, plush fabric, my fingers flexed. I shook my head. “No. He was here.”
Eddie leaned forward, placing his hand on the bed between us. His palm lay open and exposed, inviting me in.
I stayed where I was, and he didn’t seem the least offended. He didn’t even pull away. Instead, he stayed there, offering his hand should I change my mind.
“I went into the bathroom to get a drink. I was upset from the dream. I couldn’t tell if it was just something my mind made up or if it was some kind of sick memory. I thought I heard someone out here in the room. But after a while, I figured I was just being paranoid. When I left the bathroom and climbed back into bed, someone grabbed my ankle from beneath the bed.”
Eddie’s open hand flexed. His chin lowered so I could only see the top of his dark head. “Then what?”
“We fought. I fell, and they climbed on top of me, covered my mouth and my nose—” I stopped talking, recalling how I felt in the exact moment I realized this person wanted me dead. Blindly, my hand found his, slipping against his inviting palm.
Instantly, his warm fingers folded around mine, clasping them in a reassuring hold. He was much warmer than me, as if he were the sun and I a glacier.
“I managed to get away and into the hall. The person ran away when I started to scream.” I finished.
The pad of his thumb brushed lightly over the back of my hand, just grazing over the thick bandage covering the spot where the IV had been.
“Is that why this is out?” he questioned, again lightly stroking the bandage.
I nodded. “It pulled out when I was fighting.”
Still with his head bowed, Eddie said nothing for long, silent moments. Paranoia ate at me, making my stomach knot. He didn’t believe me. He thought I was crazy, too.
When he pulled back slightly, disappointment crowded inside me. But he wasn’t pulling away. As he moved, he brought my hand up, lifting it so he could press a gentle kiss to the back just at the edge of the bandage. Warm tingles spread across the surface of my skin from the softness of his lips. The sensation seeped into my pores, creating a certain, quiet peace that spread like a tree rooting in the ground.
My heart skipped a beat, and an overwhelming emotion welled inside me.
True blue eyes finally lifted, meeting mine. “Why aren’t the police here, Am?”
“Am?” I tilted my head.
“Amnesia is a bit of a mouthful.” He shrugged, the side of his mouth lifting, a rakish appearance transforming his face.
“The staff didn’t believe me.”
His boyish expression was replaced with anger and disbelief. “What?”
“No one saw anyone enter my room or run out. Apparently, no one saw the person anywhere. When they found me, security searched the whole building.”
“They think you made it up?” he growled.
“They think I dreamed it all, and when I woke up, I was so scared I stumbled into the hallway. The shrink is probably on her way to see me now,” I muttered.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Eddie urged, scooting the chair even closer to the bed.
My hand was still in his. The way his fingers flexed around mine in such a protective nature stirred something in me. Some emotion I didn’t understand. It was a feeling I was scared of but at the same time craved.
“My mind hasn’t shut off,” I confided.
“Yeah, I know.” Again, he seemed to truly understand.
“It sounds crazy.” I warned.
The double dimples in his cheeks appeared, and just looking at them made me feel lighter. “I’d say this entire situation is a little crazy.”
“They were here,” I whispered forcefully, almost angrily. I’d cried when the nurses told me no one had been found. And nothing in the room or anywhere could prove I hadn’t just been dreaming. They tried to give me some pills to help me “rest,” they said. I took them like a good patient and then spit them out and put them under my pillow.
I didn’t want to be drugged. My head was confused enough as it was. I didn’t want muffled thoughts and a hazy cloud hanging over me when I was trying to make sense of my new reality.
“I did have a bad dream, but when I woke up, someone was in this room. I wasn’t imagining it. I wasn’t. It was too real… They wanted me dead.”
“Okay,” Eddie said, trying to soothe me. “I believe you. It’s okay.”
“You believe me?” I was surprised.
His eyes met mine, stoic and nearly intrusive. “I’m on your side. No matter what. I’ll always back you up.”
“Why?” I said, my voice trembling and wet. “Why would you be here for me, a complete stranger?”
His eyes saddened, the hold on my stare lost. “I don’t want to be a stranger to you, Am.”
My chest squeezed a little. I realized beneath his oozing personality, Eddie carried his own sorrow.
The door to my room swung in, and the clip-clap of the head shrinker’s high heels was like a hammer in my brain. “The staff told me you—” Her voice cut off when she saw I wasn’t alone. “You have a visitor.”
Gently, Eddie tugged his hand from mine and stood, offering it to the doctor to shake. “Eddie Donovan.”
“Ah, yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Donovan.”
“Eddie.” He corrected. Then he glanced around at me with a wicked smile. “Talking about me, are you?”
“No,” I retorted.
The look on his face made the doctor laugh, and I admit I thought about smiling, too. “From the staff.” The doctor corrected. “They don’t talk about the patients, but you, sir, are not a patient, and from what I hear, you’re at this hospital quite often.”
“I pulled Amnesia out of the lake,” he explained. He didn’t seem surprised at all the hospital staff would be talking about him.
I thought it was rude.
And slightly amusing. He definitely was a guy worth mentioning.
“It’s nice to meet you,” the doctor said formally. “I’m sorry to interrupt. However, I have an appointment with Amnesia.”
“We can do it later,” I said, in no hurry to see Eddie leave.
“My schedule is full today, and given the earlier events, I think we should talk.”
I opened my mouth to argue, suddenly ready to do just that.
“It’s okay, Am. I have to get to work anyway. The place can’t open without me.” His eyes met mine, his lips offering a reassuring smile.
I pleaded with my stare for him to not to leave me here.
His body language changed from relaxed and soothing to nearly formidable. Turning his back, he spoke to the doctor. “Can you give us a minute? I’d like to say bye.”
The doctor seemed mildly surprised, but she inclined her head. “I’ll be just outside,” she stated before the door latched behind her.
I fell back against the pillows.
Eddie sat on the edge of the chair again, positioning himself toward me. Lifting his eyebrows, he asked, “How long do you think it will take her to get tired of waiting?”
I laughed. “Two seconds.”
Eddie snickered.
“I thought you were leaving.”
His reply was so simple. “You want me to stay.”
A feeling of selfishness came over me. “I do.” I admitted. “But I know you can’t.”
“If it’s what you want, it will happen.”
I tilted my head, a chunk of hair hitting my chin. “Didn’t you say the store wouldn’t open without you?”
“I do have the key.” His voice was entirely ornery.
I giggled. “Go to work, Eddie.”
“What about you, Am?” he asked, searching my face with his stare.
“I’ll be fine,” I said, but I must not have been too convincing, because he called me out.
“Liar.”
“I just… They don’t believe me.”
Eddie thought about my words, sat forward, and held out his hand for mine. I surrendered almost immediately. His touch made me feel connected to something. To someone. “Do you believe someone tried to kill you last night?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. “I really do.”
“Then don’t let them change your mind.”
“Eddie?” I whispered.
He whispered back, “Am?”
“I can’t help but think…”
His fingers tightened around mine. “You can tell me anything.”
I believed him. With every part of me.
“The figure in my dream and the one here at the hospital… What if they were the same? What if whoever threw me in the lake is back to finish what they started?”
He sucked in a breath. Anger glimmered in his eyes. “I won’t let them hurt you…”
It was almost as if he wanted to say more but didn’t.
“What if that dream wasn’t a memory? What if I really dreamt everything?” I just didn’t know. I couldn’t remember.
The worst thing about all of this was not being able to trust even myself.
Eddie stood, leaning in close, and cupped the back of my head with his palm. The fullness of his lips pressed against my hairline, lingering for a gentle kiss.
“One day at a time, Am.” His lips brushed over my skin as he murmured, then pulled back.
Lifting my eyes, I watched him stay close, lean down, and tug the sweatshirt closer around me. “Hang on to this for me, ‘kay?”
I nodded.
Our stares bounced between each other. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re going to figure this out. Someday you’ll remember.”
I couldn’t help but feel there was something specific he wanted me to recall.
“I’ll bring you dinner tonight.” Eddie promised, pulling away from the bed.
“Wait,” I called out.
He returned instantly.
Delving my hand beneath the pillow, I fished around until I found the two pills I’d pretended to swallow earlier. “Throw these away for me?” I asked, dumping them into his hand.
He laughed when he saw them. “Refusing medication? You bad, bad girl.”
I smirked. “I don’t want anything that’s going to make it harder to remember.”
“These aren’t pain meds, are they?” he asked, frowning at the tablets.
“No. I swear.”
Eddie tucked them into his pocket and smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.”
The second he was gone, I pushed my arms through his sweatshirt and took a deep breath. It smelled like him.
How easily I could grow attached to him.
The thought was a beautiful one but one I couldn’t allow to take root within me. In a world where I knew nothing, could trust no one, and might very well be the target of a faceless murderer, growing attached was the most foolish thing I could do.
But oh, if I were able to trust anyone… that someone would be him.