Chapter 14
Kathryn
You need to calm down. Let me make you some coffee, and we can talk. Or something like that. It mirrored what Mason had said to Samantha when she was acting like a deranged lunatic. Did Zane think I was being irrational? Considering the long list of mistakes he’d made, I didn’t think a rejection of his comfort was grounds for declaring me insane, or unfit to make my own decisions. I needed coffee, like I always did, and maybe more so after the wine. But I didn’t need a coffee intervention. I didn’t need Zane talking me down off a ledge or playing the hero or even the shoulder to cry on.
I needed to think.
As I looked up at Zane, pain and anger and fear and relief all flooding together in a nauseating ball of emotion, I wanted to kick him out of my apartment and tell him never to come back. But I also wanted to tell him how much I loved him and never wanted him to leave again.
But could I really forgive him for all the drama and danger he’d dragged me into? For the lies he’d told that had led up to this moment? I wasn’t sure.
I shook my head. “No coffee, Zane.” My voice sounded dead, void of emotion. I didn’t know if my body was just spent or what, but I couldn’t feel anything. I didn’t really care about anything. “I need time. I have to think things through.”
His face fell. “I see.”
His expression broke my heart, if there was any of it left that wasn’t already shattered.
I was still madly in love with Zane, despite everything he’d put me through. I started to waver a little on my resolve. I had told myself that I was going to send him away, for now, and work this all out in my head before trying to go through the entire history of our relationship and get the whole truth.
Then, I could make a decision as to whether or not this relationship was worth saving, whether I was better off turning a way the man I loved to save myself any future pain. Still, I was on the verge of relenting and letting him speak his piece.
But while I debated, Zane had apparently made up his mind. “I’ll leave,” he said softly. He started toward the door and turned back to face me once more. The rejection in his expression made me wince internally, and I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “For what it’s worth, Kathryn, I love you, more than I know how to say. And you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.”
I choked back a sob, but as he reached for the door and put his hand on the knob, I started to cave. “Zane, where exactly are you going to go?”
He only half turned, not looking at me, but I could see his expression, and he frowned. I had a feeling he hadn’t thought about that. “Not home, obviously. Sam’s going to clean that place out before I can rip it out from under her, and I don’t want to be there with her. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about me.”
Of course, I was going to worry about him. I couldn’t stand the thought of him sleeping in an office or being alone in a hotel room. Besides, if all his money was wrapped up in that trust fund Samantha had just lost to her father, he couldn’t afford a room.
I was angry, and I was hurt, but I wasn’t heartless. I didn’t think I was ready to forgive him yet, but I couldn’t let him leave with no clear plan of action. “Look, Zane, why don’t you just stay here for now? It’s pointless to bother with a hotel when it’s already late, and you shouldn’t have to sleep in an office. Besides, I’m sure you’re hungry. I’m starving. Crystal will be home any minute now, and I’ll get her to cook up some of her comfort pancakes for us.”
He hesitated, and I could tell he didn’t want to accept charity, but before he could turn me down, there was a knock at the door. I froze, and he scowled, putting his eye to the peephole. But his shoulders relaxed almost instantly, and he opened the door with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Lewis, you made it.”
“Is everything all right here?” the man asked, gazing back and forth with his hand on a standard-issue pistol. A cop. If only he’d arrived a few minutes ago, I thought. “I don’t see anything going on.”
“You missed the action, pal. Come inside, and meet Kathryn. She’s going to need to press charges for breaking and entering, kidnapping, stalking, and assault.”
I blinked. I hadn’t realized there were so many crimes involved. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how much trouble Samantha and her little ex-boyfriend were going to have on their hands.
“And blackmail,” I added, lifting my eyes to Zane’s. “Well, actually, you should press charges for that, too.”
Lewis scowled deeply as he stepped inside, looking none too happy. “Well, I need to call in some other guys to help with this. We’ll want to lift some prints and take statements from both of you. Once we have that, I can get with the DA and figure out exactly what we can put them away for, and for how long. But we can start with the basics as soon as I call this in. Don’t touch anything, all right?”
It was going to be a long night, and I needed coffee. I knew nothing in the general vicinity of the pot was going to give them any more evidence than they could find elsewhere, so I stood and made my way over to brew a fresh pot. Zane stayed near his friend, giving me space, and I appreciated that. I also wondered if he was going to give the cops the information on Samantha’s trade secrets, but I didn’t ask. It was none of my business.
When he got off the phone, Lewis said it would be about an hour before anyone arrived, since the emergency situation was over. He stepped outside, saying he was going to guard the door, but I had a sneaking suspicion he also wanted to give us privacy. I appreciated that, too, even if he was misreading the circumstances.
With the time, I decided to go ahead and make the pancakes myself. Interestingly enough, Crystal showed up just as I was finishing the batter and heating the griddle. “Why is there a guy in a suit with a badge and a gun standing guard like some soldier at our door? Oh my god! And what happened to your face?”
I waved her off as she tried to come inspect it. “I’ll explain everything later. Let’s just say that Samantha is going to jail faster than she can flip her hair over her shoulder.” I heard Zane snort in amusement at my comment, and I caught myself almost smiling. Maybe it would be nice if we could just sit and talk, like friends.
I saw Crystal glance back and forth between us, and I knew from the look on her face she could feel the tension in the air between us. Graciously, she said, “Listen, it’s been a long day, and I’m not used to closing. I have the feeling it’s going to be a late night, too. So, if you wouldn’t mind bringing me a couple of those delicious smelling pancakes, I think I’m going to read while I eat and then take a short nap, maybe a couple of hours?”
Now, a reluctant smile did curl my lips as she made it a question, asking if that was long enough for her to hide out. “Sure, that’s probably about right.”
She winked at me and bounced off to her room.
“That girl is something else,” I muttered as I pulled another plate out of the cabinet and started flipping pancakes onto dishes.
I delivered a tray to Crystal, who thankfully didn’t hiss any questions at me. I didn’t want to take the time to answer, and I didn’t know if I could tell her anything without falling apart again right at that moment. I’d just managed to get my emotions under control.
So, I went back out and found that Zane had made himself comfortable in my kitchen, setting the table and bringing the stick of butter and syrup over. He’d also poured the mugs of coffee and was carrying them over, leaving me with nothing to do except take a seat.
We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I gulped down my coffee, getting up to refill. When I sat back down, he asked, “How’s your father doing?”
I didn’t know why I was surprised. Zane had come and stayed with me the night I found out my father had a heart attack. Maybe I’d just assumed that, with everything else that had happened since, he’d forgotten, or that he didn’t really care that much, but I was floored. It took me a minute to answer. Finally, I found my voice and said, “He’s doing okay. He hates his new diet, but he’s suffering through it. And he’s in good spirits, which is good for healing.”
He nodded. “That’s good to hear. I know what it’s like to get that call. With my dad, it was cancer, and he had a slow trip downhill as his health failed. He went through chemo and radiation, but I think that just bought him a few months, really. He was already stage four when they found it in his liver. But the day I got that call, I wanted to die. It’s why I didn’t want you to be alone.” He cleared his throat. “It’s also part of what got me stuck in this whole disastrous life.”
I frowned at him in question. I’d thought it was all about the club.
He smiled ruefully. “Part of it was selfish and lazy. It was an easy answer to get the money I needed to open a club. But my parents had their own real estate business and didn’t have insurance, so the medical bills racked up fast, and with my father not working, they couldn’t pay. Ever since he died, my mother’s been fighting bill collectors and huge debts. I thought I could get the club going fast with Sam’s money, and then I could take the profit and pay off the debt.”
I didn’t know what to say. I could hear the honesty in his voice, and it surprised me how much he’d just opened up. He’d let the pain of a loss that had to have occurred at least ten years ago seep through, and he’d shown vulnerability. Not just what he wanted me to see, but all of it. He was different tonight than he’d ever been, and I marveled at it.
If I’d thought I was in love before, it was only because I hadn’t felt this level of connection. Now, I was head over heels. If this kept up, maybe I could mend my heart and accept all his apologies. That’s what I wanted to do.
It was then that I realized why he was so different. All this time, he’d been giving me little snippets of his life that wouldn’t give away the secrets he had to hide. He’d had to be so careful, he couldn’t relax, and now, he was completely at ease. Now, he had nothing left to hide.
And since he figured I was a lost cause, he had nothing left to lose.
We talked for a while, comparing stories, talking about childhood and being close to our parents. He told me about life in college, initially meeting Sam, and how they had actually been on friendly terms for the first part of their marriage. I recognized the signs of a woman desperate for her father’s approval, who was also addicted to sleazy men and wealth, and I told him as much. He asked what was so special about the recipe for these particular pancakes, of which he’d devoured five, and I told him it was rum with a wink. He didn’t believe me, and we laughed.
I liked the banter, and I was feeling much more relaxed, even though my face was killing me. I excused myself to the bathroom to take some ibuprofen while he cleared up the dishes, and when I came back, my apartment was full of forensic technicians and police officers. Zane’s friend, Lewis, came over to me and gave me an encouraging smile. “Okay, Kathryn. Why don’t we have a seat at the table and you can tell me what happened? Start at the beginning.”
Oh, boy. This was going to be fun.