Chapter Eleven
Liz
As much as I was trying to pay attention to Paul’s conversation about which Hawaiian Island was his favorite, all I could really think about was Jamie and his date. Was it weird that neither of us were acknowledging the other? If we were truly friends, wouldn’t we go say hello and introduce our dates?
I entertained a brief moment of What Would Amy Do? My best friend would march over there and introduce her date. She’d play it cool, making the most of an awkward situation. And then she’d call me the next day to laugh about how terrible the whole thing had been.
I thought of screwing up the courage and walking over there with Paul to say hello, but the truth was, I wasn’t that good of an actor. It would be awkward, and my jealousy of Judith and my dismay at the sight of them together would probably be pretty damn obvious. Amy could pull it off. Me, not so much.
I made the appropriate sounds when Paul talked about Maui. I tore my gaze away from Jamie and looked at Paul, whose face was alight with enthusiasm.
“The diving there is incredible,” he said.
I stifled a shudder. “Yeah, I bet. What kind of animals do you see?”
“Sea turtles, all kinds of fish. Sometimes sharks, but they usually aren’t too big where I’m diving.”
Sharks. Water. The Hawaiian Islands didn’t sound like my kind of place. Jamie and Judith were staring deeply into each other’s eyes as she took a sip of her coffee. Without looking away from her, Jamie signaled for the check.
Not noticing that my attention was on the couple sitting past his shoulder, Paul continued, “The whale watching is awesome, you get so close to these massive creatures.”
“That sounds amazing,” I said. “Do they come right up to the beach or something?”
“No,” he said with a laugh. “You go out on a boat.”
My shoulders fell. No water for me. “Never mind.”
Beyond Paul’s shoulder, Jamie and Judith were getting up. He helped her with her coat and walked, eyes straight ahead, with his hand resting at the small of her back. She grinned up at him flirtatiously.
My stomach felt like it had fallen to the floor. I felt strangely hollow inside and unfeeling. Jamie was about to get naked with another woman, and I still couldn’t get myself to feel hot and bothered for Paul.
I wanted to get out of here, but we were still working on our main courses, and damn it, I would not shorten yet another date with Paul just because of some inner Jamie angst. I’d see it through. He was a great guy, and he didn’t deserve my rudeness or inattention.
Smiling, I shared some stories of my own travels. I hadn’t been very many places, but I’d gone on a high school trip to New York City with the drama department. We’d seen a musical on Broadway and in my nervousness, I relayed nearly the entire plot to Paul, who listened with a bemused look on his face.
“Then, when they’re just about to give up on each other,” I said, “the hero and heroine finally get together. And the song, wow. You wouldn’t believe how great that song is.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure I wouldn’t.”
“It just, it took my breath away,” I said. “I used to be really into musicals and drama, and I bought the soundtrack with the original cast and wore out the CD.”
He smiled.
“Either that,” I said, “or my dad ruined it accidentally on purpose so he wouldn’t have to listen to it anymore.”
Paul laughed, and I did, too, finally feeling myself loosen up. Without Jamie or Judith around, maybe I could salvage the evening. But then I remembered that the only reason they weren’t here anymore was because they were probably in his house, having sex. I couldn’t handle the thought.
The waiter arrived, asking if we’d like dessert and coffee.
Paul looked at me. “Liz?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I’m just not up for it. Not feeling well.”
As the waiter left to prepare our bill, Paul whispered, “All that buttery food?”
“Maybe,” I said, rubbing my stomach. But I knew it wasn’t butter, and I hated myself for not being honest.
I paid the bill, ignoring Paul’s protests. “I invited you out this time,” I said. “I let you pay the bridge toll. Let me treat you for dinner.” And alleviate some of my guilt, I thought.
I desperately wanted things to work with him, but I was too hung up on Jamie. And I had no idea how I was going to handle this. Dating should come with some kind of handbook, full of advice and scenarios.
“All right, then,” he said, after I’d paid. “Shall we head out?”
“Yes, please.”
He drove me home, both of us in relative silence after the long dinner. My mood had completely soured, and I felt panicky, breathless, unsure of what to say or how to get us out of this bizarre situation. It was all my fault, obviously, but how could I fix things without hurting anyone’s feelings or breaking any hearts?
When we reached my house, I leaned across the car and kissed Paul on the cheek. “Thanks for coming out with me tonight,” I said.
“Of course, any time. I can’t wait to see you again.” His eyes dipped down to my chest, then back up to my face. “Maybe next time we can spend more time together afterward.”
“Yeah,” I said, in as noncommittal a way as possible. The look he gave me was…I could only describe it as hungry. Because I still hadn’t managed to feel at all desirous of him, the look unnerved me.
Feeling a little odd at the raw desire I’d seen on his face, I shakily got out of his car and walked up to my front door. Once I got my door unlocked, I turned around and waved at Paul, and he sped off.
As I stepped inside, though, I heard voices coming from next door—Jamie’s house. It was Jamie and a woman, who I could only presume was Judith, talking in low voices. What were they doing outside, still? Had he forgotten his keys or something?
Well, I already felt like a total loser. May as well add “eavesdropping” to my list of crimes for the night. I crept over to the wall of bushes that separated our front yards and listened to their conversation.