I didn’t want to believe what I saw but there was no missing the fact that they had kissed each other.
“Mommy! Mommy!” Lola cried, trying to figure out why her mother was all out of sorts. This was exactly why I didn’t want to try with him. Nothing could be like it used to be, it just couldn’t. It was all too good to be true.
“Mommy is okay sweetie. I’m just not feeling well is all,” I half lied. My stomach was in knots and my heart was shattering into a million little pieces. It was happening all over again.
“I’ll make you feel better…” Lola’s voice was filled with excitement and all I could do was smile because I didn’t want to let her down by telling her there was no cure for a broken heart.
“Ummm…” My voice cracked and I wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes…. “Go get your suitcase, were going on a little trip pumpkin.”
“Where? Where? Where?” She shouted.
“Just… it’s a surprise, go and get it for Mommy.” I used my motherly tone, turning away from her as I tried to get my wits.
I had only a small amount of time before Jake came here looking for me, and I knew he would. If that happened there would be no escaping his grasps. I had to get out well the getting was good.
A loud pounding on the door filled the small living space. My hands shook and my heart threatened to burst from my chest.
“Open up Mia, it’s me D.” My brother’s voice filtered into my ears overpowering the loud pounding in my ears.
“Whh… What do you want?” I hollered walking slowly to the front door.
“Just open the Goddamn door why don’t ya?” Donovan shouted, pounding a fist against the door. I blinked, licking my lips and wiping away any stray tears that may have been lingering. There was nothing I could do about my red eyes, or runny nose, so I knew I would have to explain something.
With wobbly hands I unlocked the door, and pulled it open my brother’s face coming into view.
“What the fuck is going on?” He whisper yelled, looking over my shoulder for Lola I was sure.
“What do you mean?” I tried to remain calm but it was getting harder with every passing second.
Donovan looked at me with disbelief in his eyes, “Don’t play dumb little Sis. Jake called me. He told me you were supposed to be at the bakery and you weren’t. He wanted me to check and see if you were here at the house.” He was giving me that big brother look that said spill or face the consequences.
“Uncle D!” Lola squealed, practically running into Donovan’s arms. He picked her up and cradled her against his chest giving her the biggest hug he could possibly give her.
“Hey sweet pea, can me and Mommy finish talking and then I’ll come and play with you?”
“Yes! But Mommy says were going on a trip some where, and it’s a secret…” She whispered the last part, making a smile pull at my lips.
“Oh really, well you’ll have to tell me all about it.” Donovan’s eyes darkened as she spoke.
“I will…” She giggled, running away as soon as he placed her on the ground. When she was out of ear shot Donovan started with the questions.
“Explain yourself right now!” He ordered.
“We… We got back together and everything was great, until today when I saw him… He was….” A sob wracked my body, causing the words to get stuck in my throat. Telling someone what happened made it that much more real.
“What did he do? You know I’ll protect you know matter what. He hurt you once before but never again Mia, never again…” Donovan looked as if he was ready to go into battle for me but I didn’t want him to fight a battle that had already been lost.
“I watched him… He kissed Sofia. Right outside the hardware store. He was helping her load some stuff in her stupid SUV and then they kissed, and he let her kiss him….” I huffed out a breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding in.
My brother clenched and unclenched his fists, anger forming in his features. “So what are you doing? Leaving?” I nibbled on my bottom lip for a few moments, unsure as to if I wanted to tell him what it was that I was doing. If anyone knew where I was going they would tell Jake and then he would come for me.
“I don’t want to tell you, or anyone for that matter.” I crossed my arms over my shoulders.
“I’m your big brother Mia. I have a right to know where my little Sister is running off too.” He took the same stance and we stared at each other for a long moment. There was no point and trying to hide it any longer, not when I knew he wouldn’t let me leave unless I told him.
“Fine. I’m going out to the cabin, where we used to go during the summer out on Lake Kerplunck.” I uncrossed my arms, sighing in defeat.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it? I won’t tell anyone not even Jake. I just want you to be safe… You know I love you, Mia.” Donovan separated the space between us, wrapping his arms around my small frame.
He hugged me like a big brother was supposed to hug his sister, with love and strength wrapped up in his arms.
“We won’t be gone long. I promise.” Or at least I hoped we wouldn’t be. I didn’t want Lola to spend her entire summer away from her loved ones. I just needed to start making better choices.
“Take your time, sis. Think of what you want.” Donovan released me fishing his phone from his pocket and typing out a text.
“I will, and D, please don’t tell him…Please?” I pleaded with him.
“I won’t Mia.” And I could tell he was telling the truth. For the first time in a long time I didn’t, feel alone when it came to dealing with my feelings about Jake.
He walked out of the house, closing the door quietly behind him leaving me to do what I needed to do.
I loved Jake, but I didn’t love him enough to be stuck as a doormat for the rest of my life.
“Lola, get me your suitcase…” I hollered across the house. I couldn’t cry over this anymore. I needed to be strong. I needed to be me.