Going home that Friday night I felt like I was on top of the world, but nothing could prepare me for how I felt the next morning. No, nothing happened during the night. I’d gone home, and it ended up being the same kind of evening I always had with my father.
He had a couple of drinks, asked me about my day, and settled in with one of the games he wanted to watch.
I, of course, pampered myself dearly, with all of the things I could now afford working with Knox. I’d turned my private bathroom into something of a private spa, complete with anything and everything I wanted to have a good hour or two to myself.
But the next morning when I woke, I was in panic mode. I felt guilty about being the girl who’d slept with my boss, regardless of who he was. I wondered if he felt guilty as well, and I wasn’t sure if I felt happy or devastated when there weren’t any text messages on my phone after I checked it for the hundredth time.
I knew I couldn’t tell my father about what happened, and I certainly wasn’t going to text Stef. She probably noticed all the flirting between us anyway, and I wasn’t going to confirm anything in her mind that there might be something going on between us. But with my imagination getting the best of me, all I could think of was how there was going to be some sort of scandal my father would get blamed for, and he would regret that he ever got me the job working with Knox in the first place.
So, I did the one thing that I could think of doing—calling my lifelong best friend and number one ally, Kenzie.
“I can’t believe you did that! That’s like so…badass!” Kenzie’s voice came through the phone
I nearly dropped my phone at her response. “Do you think so?” I asked, wondering if the skepticism was shining through, belying what I felt.
“Sure, you only see that sort of thing taking place in the movies, and here you are, living it up. Go for it, Girl!” She sounded jubilant.
I was having a difficult time trusting how to take her tone. Did she really mean she liked it this much? Was she being sarcastic? It was impossible for me to know. “I mean, thanks, I just—you know. I’ve always loved this guy, and I’m just scared now that I’ve made a mistake. You know what they say? Hit it and quit it.” I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but I worry.” I let my voice trail off.
“Let me tell you something – you are used to dealing with high school guys, but we aren’t in high school anymore! We are grown ass women now, and it’s time that we started acting like it. Now, I’m going to tell you what you are going to do – and you’re going to listen!” Kenzie said her voice serious.
I could hear by the sound of Kenzie’s tone that she was genuine in her reaction, and she thought I was overreacting with my own. I chuckled. “Alright, tell me what I’m going to do,” I challenged.
She sighed.
I knew she was thinking I was making fun of her, and perhaps there was a small part of me that was – but I still felt curious and wanted to know what she had to say. I listened as she told me to keep up doing what I’d been doing – and to not worry about the rest. Part of me felt relieved to hear her say so, but another part of me wondered if she was right about it.
I mean, Kenzie always did have the best ideas, and of everyone I knew, she’d been the one with the best track record for relationships. Even my own father had a tough time keeping a relationship for more than a few months. Ever since my mother died, it had been the same pattern with him. The same that it had been for me and virtually everyone else I knew.
Things were great for a while, then they slowly dissolved. If I’d charged him a dollar every time he told me he thought he found the woman who would eventually be my stepmother, I would be the one with millions. But, I’d grown to accept it and love him for it, knowing he was just like me and everyone else I knew, even when it came to relationships.
“I guess I could give it a try,” I said rather timidly.
Kenzie laughed. “That’s the only way you are going to know for sure.”
I sighed. She was right – what was the worst that could happen? Perhaps Knox would break my heart and tell me I wasn’t anything more than a fling – it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing if I thought about it. Then, what if it was more serious than that? Perhaps my dreams were going to come true and this could be the man I would marry.
“You never know until you try…honestly thought, Meg, I think that you’re taking this all too seriously. I mean we’re young and we’ve still got our entire lives ahead of us. Let’s not take this too seriously, okay?” Kenzie yawned over the phone.
I shook my head. It might be too late. I had loved Knox from afar for a while now. “Are you hungover?” I asked.
She made a hissing noise into the phone. “Mom had a few friends over for drinks last night, then they ended up leaving and left all the booze behind. I was only going to have a couple but, you know.”
I rolled my eyes. There were times when I really wished her mother and my father had gotten together. We were so much alike in some ways and so different in others, I would have loved it if we could have grown up as sisters in addition to the best friends we already were. “Well, remember to drink a lot of orange juice and take it easy. Are you working today?”
“Fucking not now,” she replied. “I called in and told them I thought I had the flu. Pretty sure Greg didn’t believe me, but I’m also pretty sure that I don’t care. What’re you doing today?”
“Think I’ll go shopping. It’s been a while since I’ve been out doing my own thing, and I could use it. If you don’t feel like death later, we should hang out,” I said, and she agreed. We chatted for a few more minutes before I let her go and hung up the phone. I laid in my bed for a moment while staring up at the chandelier I had insisted Daddy purchase for me when I turned 16. Still as beautiful as the day we hung it up, but it didn’t bring me the same thrill it had back then.
There were so many ways in which I felt I had grown up, but there were others that made me feel as though I were still a child, only wanting to get my backpack and go back to school. I’d felt a sort of safe in the halls of class, not having to worry about any scandals or anything like that. But then, I had to remember, Kenzie was right. Adults did this sort of thing all the time. Was I ready? I flushed as I remembered what Knox and I did in his office. Too late for this kind of thinking, I was sure ready for what he did to my body. He had just owned it. He did all the right things in the sexiest of ways. He literally took my breath away and it was even better than I’d fantasized about since I’d been working with him.
I’d just been lucky enough to get the chance to do it myself, and it took skills. After all, how many other 18 year olds were there out there who could say they were sleeping with not only a billionaire, but with the love of their lives? All in all, I had to say I was pretty fortunate – and all the more so, knowing I wasn’t the one who was hungover on a Saturday morning. I snickered as I thought of Kenzie.
With a sigh, I threw the blankets off and stepped to my floor, stretching and taking a deep breath. I looked around my room – a strange mix of the little kid I was, the rebellious teen I still am, and the professional woman I wanted to become—and told myself I was. There were so many things running through my mind, and I wasn’t sure where to even begin following them.
Then, my phone chirped and I looked down, expecting to see some sort of message of something Kenzie forgot to tell me.
But it wasn’t her.
It was Knox.
Then suddenly, nothing else mattered.