What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so distant – did I do something wrong?” I asked. I hadn’t seen Kelly again, and I was certain Knox would tell her to go to hell, but ever since that evening, he’d been acting far different than usual. At first, I thought he was just busy and dealing with residual shit she was throwing at him, but the more time passed, the more I began to feel like he was actively avoiding me.
He didn’t text me at all – anything work related he would wait until I was actually at work to tell me, and he let the texts that I sent him sit unanswered. I wanted to believe that I understood what was happening, but I honestly didn’t. I felt that he loved me as much as I loved him. I thought that since we were going to have a child together, he would choose me over Kelly. Yet, it seemed that he couldn’t wait to get away from me whenever I was in the room, and he had no interest in speaking to me besides work stuff.
“Have you noticed Knox acting strange lately?” I asked Stef when I met her in the break room.
She shrugged. “He always acts weird when Kelly is around,” she said.
“I know, but Kelly hasn’t been here much – I’d think that he would be fine when she wasn’t here, you know?” I looked at her.
She shrugged once more. “You do know Kelly still has a percentage of interest in the company, right? What’s wrong? Did the honeymoon wear off?” she teased.
I gave her a surprised look. But I now halted at this news. So he had to deal with Kelly? Because she still had partial stock? I wanted to sigh in relief, but I wouldn’t. “What are you talking about?” I asked, a little too defensively.
Stef held up her hands to show she meant no harm. “I just know that the two of you are like inseparable, and I wondered if perhaps someone has lost interest.”
Now I felt more defensive. “He couldn’t lose interest in me, it’s not like that,” I lied.
She smiled.
I knew she didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t going to let her get away with the assumption, even if she were right. “We’ve known each other my entire life of course, we would be close.”
“Hey, I’m just saying what I’m seeing, that’s all. No need to get all worked up about it, especially if there’s nothing going on?” She gazed at me with a curious expression.
I smiled. I knew I needed to relax, or I would end up giving myself away—the last thing I wanted to do. “I just thought he was acting different is all.”
Stef grabbed an apple as she started for the door. “I don’t know what to tell you, but if it were me and I was worried about it, I would probably talk to him. Seems like you’d get more information talking to him, instead of about him.” She headed back up the hall towards her office.
I sighed. She clearly knew more than I wanted her to, but at the same time, she didn’t know the full story, and she didn’t know the way he was when I tried to talk to him about anything.
It would be a lot harder than that, but I needed to try. The way he’d been acting was driving me crazy, and I knew it would until I got the answers I needed. With a surge of resolution running through me, I squared my shoulders and walked back out into the office.
I’d decided I would talk to Knox like she’d advised, so I marched into his office and shut the door. “It’s important, trust me,” I said. Knox had kept trying to get out of talking to me privately, but I wouldn’t let him just slip by this time. I would get my answers and one way or another, I intended get them.
“Didn’t you hear what Kelly said?” Knox finally replied. “She wanted me to fire you to keep us apart, but I told her there was no way I was going to do that. I agreed that we would keep our distance, and I want to do that. This is for you, Meagan, not her.”
I stared at him with shock. I couldn’t believe it – he had been doing what she’d told me to do! “You mean to tell me that we aren’t going to be able to talk together privately now, because she might tell on us if we do?” I asked. I hoped the mocking tone would shine through, but I could see by the look on Knox’s face that he didn’t think of this as laughing matter.
“You don’t understand what this would do to you – to your father. Look, Meagan, I love you, and I always have, but I can’t let you destroy your life this way. It would be on the cover of every tabloid out there, and you don’t want to be known as that girl, trust me. You have so much going for you.” He smiled gently.
The tight feeling in my chest was making it difficult for me to breathe – or even think clearly. I felt horrified he was taking Kelly’s side and I would do anything to change his mind. “B-but the baby? My life is going to revolve around this child – and you – from now on! You can’t just avoid me for the rest of my— life!” I felt my voice catch in my throat, and I worried that I might just break down in the middle of his office.
“Meagan! You’re too young to settle down now – I’m going to help you take care of this child, I promised that I would and I’m going to make good on that promise. But you have to believe me when I tell you that you aren’t ready to make this kind of commitment – I’m not going to let you,” he said.
I took a step back, shaking my head, and looking out the window. “What is this then? Am I just going to have to call you? You never text me, you never answer any of the calls I do make – you barely make eye contact when I’m here. I’ve wanted to have you inside me for days now, but you barely even look at me anymore. Please, can we fuck now? Can you please make this all go away by fucking me?” I felt desperate.
Pain showed in his eyes as he shook his head. “Meagan, I think that our relationship has run its course. I am going to take care of everything for you, just like I promised I would, but we can’t keep seeing each other. It’s just not possible.” He sighed.
My throat swelled even more. I didn’t think I could breathe, and the sobs were starting to shake my entire body.
“Please don’t be upset. Surely, you didn’t think that this was going to be forever?”
It felt like a dagger ran through my heart at his words. I shook my head in disbelief as I turned to go.
“Meagan! Please don’t leave like this – we can talk about what we are going to do with the baby!” Knox called after me.
I felt too upset to listen. I didn’t care who saw me leaving the office or what anyone thought. I walked up to my desk and grabbed my things before heading toward the door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I avoided all the stares I could feel on me as I made my way over to the hall.
I hit the button to the elevator and stepped inside, punching the button for the ground level. When I was finally alone, I let the tears freely fall – running down my cheeks and splashing down onto my blouse. I was hurt and humiliated. But most of all—heartbroken.
I wanted to die.