Chapter Twenty-One
ANA
There were five rounds of fire that rang out after we turned down the alternate road. I instantly looked out the window to see where the shots had been fired from, but I couldn’t tell. The children in the back seat initially yelled out, but the women calmed them quickly and as I turned to Rake I saw that we were in a whole hell of a lot of trouble.
“Rake, let’s get out of here,” I said before I realized the extent of his injuries.
He was totally unresponsive, and I saw the single gunshot hole that was in the driver’s side window. Then I saw the blood pouring out of Rake’s left temple. My heart sank at the realization that I was alone with an SUV full of vulnerable women and we were in the middle of a firefight.
I could still hear shots ringing out where Nate’s SUV was at and I knew I had to get our vehicle out of there while the rebels were distracted. I didn’t know what I was doing, but all I could think about was what Nate might be telling me to do if he was there.
Oh, how I wished Nate was in our vehicle with us. But then I realized if he had been in the SUV driving, then he would be the one who was dead instead of Rake. There would be no more wishing things were different; I didn’t have time for that. I didn’t have time for anything except to get us out of that area.
I slid onto Rake’s lap and pressed the vehicle into drive while I floored the gas. The SUV smoked and made a lot of noise, but it drove so I kept us moving as far away from the gunfight as I could get us.
“Hang on, ladies,” I yelled out as we took a couple turns going at least fifty miles per hour.
I didn’t know how much longer our vehicle was going to last, and I needed to get us as close to the airport as possible. We were probably ten miles away and it would be a very long and dangerous walk with the 17 women and teenage children I had in the vehicle. We made it about a mile away from the gunfight, but I had turned back and forth through the streets so I wasn’t really sure how far we had made it.
“Does anyone speak English?” I yelled out as the SUV started to smoke.
“I do,” a teenage girl yelled out from the back.
“Tell everyone to get ready to run. Stay together and we are going west.”
“Okay,” she said and then started to translate what I had said.
I reached to Rake’s side and grabbed his gun as I stopped the vehicle and everyone started to get out. I felt around his jacket and found a couple extra clips before I slid out of the SUV and motioned for the group to follow me. I didn’t know for sure where we were going, but I saw a faint light in the distance behind us that was the sun getting ready to rise, so at least I knew we were heading west.
We were in bad shape, there was no denying it. I had forgotten to grab the radio from the car and only had about twenty to thirty bullets between what was in the gun and in the extra magazines. None of the women or children were armed and the sun was coming up. The second the sun came up, we would be totally exposed and in desperate need of a place to hide out until help could arrive.
There was no way to know for sure if all the women and teenagers were behind us, but every time I looked back, there was still a large group of women behind me. There were a couple teenage boys who looked like they were bringing up the rear and I was pretty impressed with their willingness to help keep their mothers and sisters safe. Even boys as young as thirteen and fourteen were ready to fight to keep the women in their lives safe.
I had never had that in my life—well, not until I met Nate. Before Nate, I searched for a man who would love and protect me and I went with Stephano because I so desperately wanted that love. I knew that was how Stephano got women like me; he simply promised to love them and we were caught in his web of lies. But I wasn’t that little girl anymore, and as much as I still wanted to have Nate in my life, I didn’t need him in order to feel like I was a full person. Every step I took on the run through Damascus was a step I took towards my own freedom and strength.
“It’s getting light out; we need to find shelter,” I said to Danita.
We stopped and I quickly started to check the buildings around us to see if any of the doors were unlocked. It was risky to just enter an unlocked home, but we didn’t have a choice. The rebels were going to get the word out that we got away and everyone was going to be looking for us soon. We couldn’t be out in the daylight or we would risk getting captured.
There was one thing I knew for sure about the rebels in Syria; they didn’t treat women captives very well at all. Before killing the women, they raped them and often made their children watch. The rebels would then kill the children and force their mothers to watch. Sometimes they wouldn’t even kill the mothers and instead let them live with the horror of watching their children be tortured and murdered.
I wasn’t going to let that happen to any of the women and children I had with me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure they were safe. I wasn’t trained in everything that Nate and his friends were, but I had dealt with Stephano for weeks and I wouldn’t allow the women in my care to be tortured like I had been.
“We have a phone,” Danita said as she brought a phone up to me from one of the teenaged boys. “It’s likely being monitored, though.”
“Thanks, now let’s get in here,” I said as I pushed open a door to an old apartment building.
Danita and the rest of the women and teenagers didn’t hesitate at all as they piled into the building. Once inside though, it was clear that the building was barely standing after it had been bombed. The stairs were gone and there was no way to get to the upper floors; staying on the lower level was obviously the most dangerous spot for us, but we had no other choice.
I started to gather furniture that was left in the house and pushed it up against the front door. Danita and a couple of the teenage boys helped me, and before long, we had a huge pile in front of the door and the front window to the building. If someone was going to try coming in through that door, it was going to take them a very long time, and hopefully would allow us enough time to escape.
I moved everyone into a room at the back of the building and sat them down while I took Danita and the boys to check out the rest of the building. We had to know what we were dealing with and where our weak points might be if we were going to use the place as our hideout for the day.
We walked around the main floor as the sun started to rise. There wasn’t much light able to sneak in through the windows, but it was enough for us to get the layout of the unit. We had a couple options to escape if needed and those would also need to be where we watched for any sort of movement. I had one of the teenage boys sit in what looked like a laundry room near the back because there was a door there. We pulled the wash sink in front of the door to slow any intruders and Danita helped me give him instructions on what to do if he heard someone. We had a couple other boys sit near windows and keep an eye out for anything suspicious.
My mind whirled with what I thought Nate would do in our situation. I constantly heard his voice in my head like he was guiding me in what to do. Then I thought about Nate and how he was probably going totally crazy trying to figure out where we were and rescue us. He would be going mad. I didn’t trust the cell phone I was given because I knew the families had been under surveillance, but I needed to get some help.
Then a thought crossed my mind that I couldn’t tolerate at all. Nate’s vehicle had been caught in the rebel’s shooting much more than our vehicle had been caught. How did I even know if Nate was alive? If Rake could be killed by a single bullet, it was totally plausible that Nate and the men in his SUV could have been killed by the dozens of bullet’s that had been flying their way.
“What’s the matter?” Danita asked me.
I paused for a moment as I tried to decide if I should involve her in my thought process. She was a young girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen years of age, but I saw in her eyes that she had probably dealt with much more than most girls of her age had. I knew just by looking into her dark brown eyes that she had seen sadness.
“I don’t know what to do. We need to get to the airport, but it’s at least eight miles away. The rebels will be looking through all these houses for us. I’m not sure how long we can stay here.”
Danita shook her head in agreement and we both sat in the corner as we tried to think up a plan that might work for us. There weren’t many options, besides just running for the airport. But I knew there had to be a better way of making our escape without risking the women and teenagers’ lives. I was caught in thought as I tried to think about what Nate might do.
“You need sleep,” Danita said as she looked at me. “Sleep for one hour and the answer will come to you.”
I chuckled at how confident she was that I would come up with the answer to our problems by simply taking a nap. Although, I didn’t think it would be possible to actually sleep when we were in the middle of such turmoil, I did like the idea of closing my eyes and thinking about Nate and his men and how they might get out of the situations.
“I’ll rest my eyes for a moment, but you get me if anything is going on outside.”
“Yes,” Danita said as she squeezed next to me.
I was sandwiched between Danita and a corner post from the wall as I closed my eyes. Not to sleep, but only to think through our options and hopefully come up with a brilliant idea that would save us.
My eyes had only been closed for a moment when I felt Nate’s lips pressing against mine. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn’t care; his lips felt like a lifeline for me and I needed them desperately. I felt his lips move down my neck and gently wrap around my nipple as he pulled it tightly into his mouth. Oh, it felt so good. I loved the feeling of his lips on every part of my body.
The moment Nate that lifted me up out of the dark corner of Stephano’s home was the moment my entire life changed. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time, but our encounter had been the catalyst to so much more.
Nate was a tough guy, and he didn’t show his emotions readily, but even in my dreams I felt like I knew he cared for me. The way his eyes searched mine was a powerful statement about who he was and his intentions with me. At first, Nate barely looked me in the eyes and always seemed afraid that he might hurt me in some way. But as we started to work out and he started to teach me defense techniques and attack techniques, I saw a change in the way his eyes looked into mine.
As my confidence grew, so did Nate’s confidence in understanding that I could handle any mistakes that happened. As I dreamed about Nate’s naked lips playing with my body, I felt empowered by his feelings for me. He didn’t love lightly. For Nate to care about me like he did meant that he had put a lot of lot into it, and his emotions were overwhelming.
My body reacted to the touch of his on me. Sleep triggered an emotional and physical connection I had with Nate that I wasn’t willing to admit to when I was awake. I longed for him, my body urged him to do whatever would please me and then do it again, over and over again. I couldn’t get enough of his touch, and even in my dreams I wanted him to thrust into me again and again. I didn’t just want to feel pleasure one time, I wanted to feel it for the rest of my life.
That was a weird thought to think about spending the rest of my life with someone. I really hadn’t thought I would ever consider something like that again after everything that went down with Stephano. But the truth was I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else but Nate. I couldn’t imagine sitting around in a stuffy apartment as my boyfriend went off to a job he hated. No, that wasn’t the life I wanted. Instead, I wanted to live a passionate and exciting life with Nate. I wanted to learn his business and come on assignments with him.
It occurred to me that all the thoughts and feelings I was having about Nate meant that I loved him. Love wasn’t something that I came to lightly and wouldn’t have been the word I would have used if I had been fully awake. While awake, I used my defense mechanisms to keep me from admitting that I cared so much about Nate. I didn’t want to feel that vulnerable again and by saying I loved someone, it automatically meant that I was putting my power in their hands.
But love didn’t have to mean giving up your power; I was slowly learning that with Nate in my life. Because of Nate, I saw that love could actually mean you were gaining power and becoming even stronger because of your bond with the other person. I was stronger when I was around Nate and it wasn’t because his strength gave me power. No, my strength around him came because of his willingness to love my flaws.
Nate obviously knew most of my flaws because of our time together, and he still cared for me. Not many men could show that kind of affection for a woman even after she accused him of attacking her when she was disoriented, as I had done. Or if she had tried to strangle him during a training moment like I had done. Nope, I was convinced that there weren’t many men who would still want to be around me, and fewer yet who would look me in the eyes and have the feelings that I saw in Nate’s eyes.
Suddenly, my own heart felt very full with worry at the idea of Nate and the rebels. In my sleep-deprived state, I had gone right to thinking of all the wonderful times between Nate and I and I had avoided the negative thoughts that something could have happened to him. I wasn’t prepared to think about that at all. I had finally found the man I could spend my life with, there was no way I was letting him go.
“Miss…Miss…” I heard a voice say as I was pulled out of my sleepy state.
“Yes,” I said, instantly alert to my surroundings and the possible dangers that were all around us.
“There is a phone; across the street is a store. It will have a phone; is there someone you should call?” Danita said.
That was exactly what I needed. A phone that wasn’t being traced and wouldn’t have people listening in on it. We jumped up and looked out the window as the sun shone strong in the streets. The store across the street was still closed for the night, but probably not for too much longer. People would be arriving to work shortly, if the business was still open during the war, and I needed to get into that building and use their phone before they arrived.
“Any chance someone here knows how to break into buildings?” I joked as I looked at the group.
Most of the women just stared at me, but one of them raised her hand slowly. I looked shocked at her and then at Danita. How was it possible that a woman from this culture would know how to do something so sinister as breaking into a building?
“Translate for me and make sure she understands what I’m asking,” I said to Danita.
“It’s my mother; she understands. She can understand English very well, but struggles with talking.”
“She knows how to break into a building?” I asked.
“Into a door, yes. My grandfather was a drinker and she often had to get into a locked room to help him when he drank too much. It was not right in our culture for him to do that and she snuck in secretly to help him.”
“Okay, then come with me.” I motioned to the woman. “We are breaking into that building right there.”
I pointed to the business across the street and she shook her head. We were going to get ourselves out of this mess and then I was going to make sure Nate was safe. Nothing could be worse than finding out that Nate had been killed in that firefight, absolutely nothing. I needed to keep moving forward and ensure we made it to safety.
The woman I brought with me across the street was indeed very good at breaking into doors. We went around to the back door and she used a small hairpin that she had to open the door. I told her to wait outside and keep watch as I ran inside to make my phone call.
There was only one person whose number I had with me, and that was Timothy Anders from the Red Crescent. I wasn’t exactly sure what I would say to him. I didn’t know if he would be able to help at all or not, but he was my only hope.
“Tim, it’s Ana,” I whispered in the phone.
I wasn’t sure why I was whispering since I was in the building alone, but I whispered all the same.
“Ana, are you all right?”
“I have a group of women and teenagers, our convoy was attacked and my co-workers separated from me. If you can get word to them that we are all right, that would be great. We are hiding out in a building until dark and will make our way toward the airport at first night.”
There was a long pause as Timothy took in the information I was giving him. He wasn’t used to this sort of danger and I could tell by his delayed response that he didn’t exactly know what to say or do.
“I know the company Resolve Oil; I can let them know your information and they could notify your team. You don’t have their contact information?”
It sounded ridiculous and I knew it, but my pretending to be on the team didn’t mean I actually knew where they were or what they were doing. I didn’t know how to contact any of them and that was a huge mistake on my part.
“Our normal communication is down. I’m not even sure they made it through the firefight.”
“Where are you? I can send some Red Crescent vehicles to get you guys.”
“Absolutely not; the rebels are only a few blocks away, we can’t risk any more lives. We are somewhere between the office building and the airport. I believe about one mile out, but not really sure.”
“I could try and do some sort of distraction to draw their attention so you all could make a run for it?” Timothy said with a questioning tone.
I appreciated his ideas, and they were good ones, but I didn’t want to be responsible for something happening to any Red Crescent volunteers. On the other hand, I also didn’t want to be responsible for something happening to any of the women and teenagers I had with me.
“Get with Nathan Foster from my team; he will guide you in what to do. If you can’t reach him, then talk with a guy name Baller. He is at the safe house and should have the most intel. I have to go. We will lay low for the day and move out at first dark.”
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then,” Timothy said optimistically.
“Yeah, see you tonight.”
Neither of us sounded sure in our statements at all. There was a distinct chance we wouldn’t see each other that night at all. The odds were against us for sure. The women and teenagers were going to be led to safety by me, a woman who only days before had been shaken to my core over a raccoon that had slipped into the house. Nothing about that moment seemed to instill confidence that we were going to make it through it alive.
I didn’t need to know the outcome of our next twenty-four hours in order to push through it though. That was something I had done often at Stephano’s house. Each day brought something new and horrible to deal with, and each day I pushed through and made it to the next day. That was all we could do at that moment as well.
Sure, we were just a bunch of women and teenagers who didn’t know what we were doing. But we were also a group of survivors who had been through so much that we knew how important we were to each other. The language barrier didn’t matter to us; we were together and I was going to make sure we all made it to the airport alive.
No, I didn’t have the proper training to lead those women and teenagers to safety, but that didn’t matter at all. I didn’t need to be trained to know that if we didn’t succeed in our goals, we were all going to be murdered. That was enough motivation for me and I knew it was enough for them as well.
My focus was clear and with the help of the group we were all going to make it to the airport. When we got there, Nate would be waiting for me and I made a mental note to myself that I would tell him how much I cared about him. No more fear about putting my heart out there; if I lived through the ordeal we were in, I was going to live my life with such abandonment that everyone around me would be jealous.