Chapter Ten
ROXANNE
I couldn’t even stand to look at Jackson after what he had put me through. I thought he had left. It felt like such a huge betrayal, and I hated that it had hurt so badly. Jackson and I had only known each other for a few days, but when he hadn’t returned, I was so hurt and angry. Much more hurt than I should have been for someone I hardly knew.
I didn’t open up to people and I certainly didn’t let people hurt me, so it frustrated me how much I had given in to Jackson. There was such a connection between the two of us; it was like an electric pull that kept bringing me back to him. As angry as I was at him, I felt myself being pulled right back toward him at the same time.
My life wasn’t the kind where you got attached. I purposely avoided being close to people so I wouldn’t have to deal with heartbreak. Despite my intention of staying away from Jackson, I had become close to him – much more so than I wanted to. But there was just something between us that I couldn’t stop. There was a powerful connection like none I had ever had. As much as I pulled away from him, that connection pulled me right back into his arms.
There were feelings developing for Jackson – feelings that I hadn’t had in a long time. It scared the crap out of me and I wasn’t about to let any man scare me like that. I made a mental note to try and keep my emotions detached around him. I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did, and I certainly shouldn’t be falling for him.
“It’s not the Ritz, but it should do for the night,” he said as he opened the door to our room.
“Are you sure they only had one room?”
“Yes, this was it. Apparently, there is some sort of convention across the street and that hotel overbooked their rooms and contracted with this hotel.”
The outside of the motel was dismal. It was dark and had peeling paint. The whole place looked like it was out of the ’70s. As we walked into the room, I was pleasantly surprised by the size of the room, though, and the interior wasn’t nearly as bad as I had expected. It was much larger than I had thought it would be. But then I started to notice some other very unusual things about it.
There was a giant two-person soaking tub in the corner and mirrors on the ceiling. There was one large king-sized bed and heart-shaped pillows on the bed. They were trying to make it romantic and I commended the effort, but the room was certainly far from comfortable.
“Is this the honeymoon suite?” I asked as I started to laugh.
“It was the only room left.”
“Oh, my gosh. This is crazy.”
“Hey, it’s a safe place to sleep and recoup. We need to get our plan together for tomorrow.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you say we? Am I part of this again?” I asked as I went to look at the bathroom.
To my horror, there wasn’t a shower at all, just a toilet and a small sink. I took in a deep breath as I came back out and leaned against the wall to see how Jackson would try to explain his way out of this one.
I knew guys like him. He would defend his choice to go out alone. He would tell me that I was just a woman and didn’t understand the dangers. I almost didn’t want to even hear him try to explain it, but I decided to humor him and listen anyways.
“I’m sorry. You were right. I need you for this.”
His words peaked my interest.
“Um, excuse me. Where is Jackson?”
“You heard me. I know when I’m wrong. I was wrong to leave you at the hotel and I’m sorry I made you feel like I had left you. I’m sure that was horrible.”
“Wow,” was all I could come up with.
I really had never met a man who was man enough to say he was sorry right away like that. He hadn’t argued with me. He hadn’t tried to make up excuses. I didn’t know what to think of him. Words were not even coming to me as I stood there and looked at him.
I wasn’t sure I knew how to have a conversation with a man who wasn’t trying to argue with me or get me to sleep with him. It was an unusual circumstance and I stood against the wall and tried to take the whole moment in. Being a grown up and having a real conversation was going to be much harder than I thought.
I took a deep breath as I tried to control my innate need to be a smart ass. Instead, I wanted to respond appropriately. My whole life, I had waited for a man to come along who wasn’t a total douche bag. I had expected him to be a little different than Jackson, but in that moment, I realized something that I had never realized before.
A perfect guy doesn’t exist, just like a perfect woman doesn’t exist. But finding someone who is willing to apologize for their mistakes and truly show remorse when they were wrong, well, that was like finding a unicorn. All my thoughts about avoiding Jackson started to slip away when I saw him in this new light.
“Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” Jackson asked as he winced at my glare.
Slowly, I walked over toward him and grabbed the hem of his shirt. I tugged on it and pulled it up over his head. He didn’t fight me. I could tell he wanted to know what the heck was going on. But he let me take his shirt off.
“I think…” I started to say seductively as I leaned in and kissed his neck. “That you are…” I continued with more kisses. “The first man who has….ever said he was wrong.”
Jackson gave a deep, controlled laugh, but it shot right through my body and enticed my very core. He was a man’s man and I liked that about him. There was no other way to say it. He had his faults, we all do. But Jackson was a good guy and I wanted to be with him.
Screw all the political correctness, I was over it. I wanted him and he wanted me. We just needed to be together so we could move on. There was no need to drag out the inevitable. We could just have some fun and then move forward with the job.
“I’m not the first man to say he was wrong.”
“Oh, I beg to differ. I think you are. And, I want to celebrate.”
My hands moved to his pants, and I started to unbutton them. I felt his hands move on top of mine, though, and he stopped me.
“Not here,” Jackson said. “Not like this.”
“You don’t want to sleep with me?” I asked in total surprise.
With all of our interactions up to that point, I had genuinely thought we were going to be screwing already. I didn’t understand his need to wait. Perhaps my anger toward him about leaving me at the hotel was bothering him? Or maybe he was trying to be professional and not have us sleep together until the job was done. The frustrating thing was I had probably thought of all the same reasons as he had for us not to be together.
“Oh, I want you.”
“Then, I shouldn’t do this?” My hand slipped inside of his pants and rubbed up and down the length of his cock.
His eyes closed, and I watched as he let out a deep breath. His desire for me was more than evident. I just needed to reassure him that I was fine with having some fun in a sleazy motel. The motel actually didn’t bother me, at all. It was an eclectic place, that was for sure, but I didn’t mind.
“No, you shouldn’t. We need to concentrate on finding Ana. I can’t concentrate when your hand is doing that,” he said as he continued to take in deep breaths and release them slowly.
“Man, oh, man. Then, I definitely shouldn’t do this,” I said as I pulled his pants down and fell to my knees, my mouth quickly wrapping around his throbbing cock.
“No, no, Roxanne, no, we shouldn’t.”
I felt his effort to say no. He genuinely wanted to keep things professional. But his body just couldn’t stay in control as my mouth moved up and down his shaft. Jackson looked up into the air, and I heard him let out a long breath as he tried to decide what he really wanted to do. I knew already – I knew he wanted me. The idea that we shouldn’t be together because of work was also on my mind, but something about the moment overwhelmed me and I no longer cared. I wanted him.
“I’m sorry, did you want me to stop?” I asked as I looked up at him with his cock in my hand.
“No.”
Finally, Jackson was willing to give in to his desire for me. Finally, I was going to get to have some fun with him. He did look absolutely delicious naked. I couldn’t wait to feel his bulging muscles on top of me as his body thrust inside of me.
Then, he grabbed me up off the ground and picked me up like I was a sack of potatoes. In one swift move, he threw me onto the bed. His eyes turned from resistant to that of a man who wanted to devour his prey. I gulped hard at the intensity I saw in him.
I couldn’t help but smile at his willingness to give in to me. Finally, we were on the same page. It was going to be a night filled with fun and lust. I needed a night like that, I needed a no strings attached night with a good guy, and Jackson was just the right man for the job.
“Yes,” I said as I nodded my head at him.
I wanted Jackson more than I could ever remember wanting a man. His intensity, his body, his hands – I wanted it all. My body ached with the thought of his hands running up and down me. I closed my eyes because the anticipation was overwhelming.
His lips moved from my ankle up the length of my leg. I waited for him to rip my clothes off, but he seemed content to let me stay clothed. His kisses teased my very core.
My heart pounded with desire and my mind seemed all mixed together. I couldn’t think; I couldn’t do anything except anticipate what it would feel like to make love to him, his large, muscular frame pivoting on top of me. I couldn’t take the anticipation another second and started to take off my shirt myself. But Jackson stopped me. His hands grabbed mine and pulled them down next to me as his lips moved up to kiss mine.
He moved slowly and deliberately, not like the typical men I had slept with in my past. He had a level of self-control I had never seen. He had removed all of his clothing, yet not a stitch of mine had been taken away. I felt hot, so hot that I needed the thin pieces of fabric removed from my skin as soon as possible. But Jackson had other plans. It was clear he intended to make the night memorable.
He moved slowly with his kisses down my chest and to the waist of my pants. He kissed around the waistline and then I felt the sweet release as he unbuttoned the top of them. Finally, we would get moving to the good stuff.
His lips moved down my zipper as he undid the metal closure. I lifted my hips in anticipation of him pulling the pants off, but he did not do that. Instead, Jackson moved back up my stomach and lifted my shirt to expose my breasts covered with the delicate fabric of my black lace bra. His mouth moved around the seam, and I waited for him to press the fabric out of his way and grab my nipple into his mouth.
Oh, how I waited and waited. His slow kisses tortured every nerve in my body, and I couldn’t move from the intensity of the anticipation. My hands moved to his hair and I slid my fingertips until I grabbed a fistful and held on tight to him. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed him. My body needed him.
He must have felt my intensity because he slid my pants off and threw them across the room. My hips thrust up into the air in an attempt to get him to remove my black lace panties, but he moved right past them and pulled my shirt up over my head. He left my shirt around my hands and even wrapped it a couple times to show he wanted me to keep them up over my head.
Jackson’s lips kissed gently down my arms and then he hovered over me, looking into my eyes. His seductive bedroom eyes were more than I had ever dealt with and I felt my body press up against him.
Our lips collided together in an intense confusion of passion and resistance. I had the passion, he had the resistance. It was like he purposely didn’t want to fully release his urges. He was purposely holding back, and I could feel it in the closeness of his lips.
Soon, he pulled away from me totally and reached behind me to unhook my bra. He didn’t look at my breasts, though. As he released me from the confines of my lace bra, Jackson maintained total eye contact with me. It was intense.
But before long, his lips were wrapped around my perky nipple and I had my back arched with excitement as his tongue made its way along my body. Oh, how I couldn’t wait to feel his tongue all over me. There was something so seductive about it. The way he kissed me, the way he moved along my body, I could have played with his tongue all night long.
His mouth moved slowly as he pulled me into him and his other hand played with my other breast. I wanted more. I needed more before my whole body gave in to the frenzied nerves that anticipated ecstasy.
My hips pressed against him and with one of my legs, I felt his throbbing cock. It was delightful to feel him next to me like that, and I couldn’t help but let out a moan at his touch. But Jackson quickly pulled his hips back. I couldn’t tell if he pulled away to prevent me from touching him or to prevent himself from touching me.
My hands stayed above my head, but it was torturous to try and keep them away from him. I wanted to grab his hair and press his face to my center. Feel his tongue on my wetness. Orgasm to his fingers thrusting inside of me. But Jackson had made it clear he was in charge, and I obeyed his lead and relished the anticipation of his body on mine.
I heard the muffled sound of a phone ringing, but just ignored it. It certainly wasn’t mine; I didn’t have a phone anymore. Jackson had destroyed it. And if Jackson didn’t think it was urgent enough to answer his phone, then I was happy to let it be the background noise as we made love.
But the phone didn’t stop ringing. Over and over again it rang and didn’t relent. Finally, out of frustration, Jackson moved his naked body from the bed and pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. I couldn’t help but stare at him as he climbed out of the bed and stood in the middle of the room.
“Hello,” he said as he stood fully erect and looked at me from the foot of the bed.
Wow, he was one amazing specimen of a man. This time, I was allowed to drink him in, to look at every inch of him without looking away. His blond hair was tousled from my hands grabbing onto it early. His face was slightly flushed from the excessive excitement we had. I looked at every muscle from his chest down to his quads. There wasn’t more than an ounce of fat on the man, he was pure muscle. Yet as he stood naked, erect, and looking at me, I felt the softness of his soul.
“Yes, we are all right. Things are going well,” Jackson said as he rolled his eyes slightly. “Yes. I’ll let you know when we know more. It was an eventful night. Can we call you tomorrow?”
Jackson made a mock talking sign with his hand and he made fun of the person on the other end of the phone for talking too much. It was funny to see him naked and on the cell phone. I bet the person on the other end would have freaked out if they knew I was there in bed with him.
I rolled over and slid under the covers while he continued his phone call. My body was exhausted and I let my eyes close as he finished his call with who I assumed was Chase. I knew that Jackson would be done shortly and could slide back into bed and we could continue where we had left off.