Chapter Sixteen
ROXANNE
Jackson’s body was sweaty, and mine was freezing. I felt like I needed another shower, but I was so cold that so there was no way I was getting up out of bed. We finally crawled under all the covers and I tucked myself in next to Jackson.
“So, what’s the plan tomorrow?” I asked as I cuddled up next to Jackson.
“Well, we are going to try and sell PJ to Stephano.”
I didn’t like the plan at all, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t like PJ or if I really didn’t like the plan. PJ seemed nice enough, but she was pretty full of herself. Perhaps she was even a little overly confident about her abilities with Stephano.
It was a little excessive to say I didn’t like PJ. I liked her, I just didn’t know what she was doing there with us. If she was a bigwig with the CIA, she could have organized a legal raid of Stephano’s house. Why was she going with us on our little search for one girl?
My gut said that she and Jackson probably had some sort of history that she was trying to make up for or something like that. I wasn’t sure; I could have just been totally off base and imagining things. Perhaps, PJ was genuinely just there because she cared and thought she could help.
I did have a long history of thinking the worst about people. As much as Jackson thought I was a sucker for being nice to people, I actually wasn’t all that nice, at all. Since meeting him, I had been much more understanding and kind than I remember being to anyone in the last several years.
No one in that room knew Stephano like I knew him. They didn’t understand how ruthless he could be or that money was clearly the only thing he valued. Stephano was a creature and not a human.
“Do you think it’s the best plan?”
Jackson sat up and let my head slip from his shoulder down to his stomach as I continued to lay there. It was nice to have him in my bed, comfortable even. His warm skin next to mine was something that I didn’t get to feel very often. Plus, the way he looked at me gave me shivers. I could see the desire he had for me and it made me see myself in a whole different life.
The desire in his eyes gave me confidence, but it also made me want to prove to him that I was worthy. Not worthy as a human being, I knew I was a good person, at least, currently. But I wanted to be worthy of Jackson, I wanted to be the type of woman he would keep around. Life with him would be fun and I knew it.
“I’m not sure what the best plan is. Do you think our plan isn’t good?”
“It feels rushed. I don’t know if PJ understands what she’s getting into. You and Nate can’t protect her once she’s in his house alone with him.”
Jackson shook his head as if he understood what I was trying to say. He had seen firsthand what Stephano and his men were willing to do with women. He had seen me strangled because of a simple issue with the back room of the club. I knew Jackson understood just how dangerous Stephano was. I hoped at least with him leading the events in the morning, everyone would be able to get out of there safely. I especially hoped that Ana would get home safely. I could only imagine the trauma she had been through over the last few weeks.
“Are you still upset that you haven’t got to participate more in finding Ana?” Jackson asked as his fingers combed through my hair.
The touch of his hands on my body had been a calming action more than once. I loved the feeling of someone playing with my hair. It reminded me of being young and my mother stroking my head when I went to sleep.
“I’m not upset. I just don’t want Chase to have to pay me if I didn’t do anything helpful. I’m not the kind of person who likes handouts.”
Jackson laughed a deep husky laugh that I felt all the way in his stomach.
“You have been very helpful. Sometimes working as a team is about giving just a little bit. But that little bit you give makes everything else work out perfectly.”
“I just don’t feel useful.”
I hated the feelings that had been running through me since I met Jackson. There were so many mixed emotions that I had never felt before. It overwhelmed me and I could hardly handle dealing with them anymore. I really wanted to be the strong woman I was before, but I felt like a mess when I was around him. I felt like he had control over my heart and could smash it into pieces at any moment. I felt like a failure when it came to our job, too.
“One time, on a mission for the military, I had a broken femur and couldn’t make it past our landing point. I had to lay there in the dark while my men completed the mission without me. I felt beyond useless. As my men returned to our pick up location, they were celebrating that they had found the object we were sent to find. They weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, unlike me. I fired off one shot to the building behind them where I saw a sniper who was about to kill one of my men, maybe more than one before we would have seen him. If I hadn’t been on the ground and facing that direction, at least one of my men would have been dead. We work in teams for a reason, everyone is helpful.”
Jackson’s voice was steady and he obviously wanted me to feel like I was a useful member of the team. It was sweet how he acted with me now, nothing like when we first met. At that moment, he was more than the man of my dreams. Jackson seemed like the man I had always been afraid to dream about. Never had I been able to imagine a man like him would ever find his way into my life.
We talked well into the night as we shared stories of our past and funny things about our families. It was the most I could ever remember talking with another person. No one had ever been very close to me in my past and I had never wanted to share my life with them. But throughout the evening, I felt like I wanted to share my life with Jackson. I wanted him to know the real me and I wanted to test to see if that meant he would still stay around.
Being next to Jackson and talking to him without my big wall up was something so new to me. I felt exposed when I was with him. It started when we had first met and he knew so much about me without me even telling him. But then to see that he respected me despite my profession, that had been huge for me. I never expected to meet a man like him and I certainly didn’t expect that I would put all my protective walls down for him.
Finally, I couldn’t take it another moment longer and I climbed up onto my knees and straddled Jackson’s abdomen as I looked him in the eyes. He was so handsome. Not like regular guy handsome, either. Jackson could have been a movie start if he wanted to. His golden blond hair and blue eyes were mesmerizing, not to mention his firm body that was ripped with muscles.
“You are a damn good man, Jackson Foster,” I said as I started to kiss him softly.
I started with his lips and then made my way down one side of his neck and then the other. My hands rested on his chest as I slowly and deliberately kissed him all over. His skin tasted salty on my tongue, but I could still smell his scent through his sweat. My hands tingled with the touch of his skin under me and for a moment, I wondered how much longer I would get to keep him.
Sooner or later, our job would be done and Jackson would move on. I would have to move on, as well. It wasn’t something we talked about and I certainly didn’t want to bring it up. But there was the thought in the back of my head of what I would do when he moved on. It was the whole reason I kept my walls up in the first place, to avoid getting hurt.
He didn’t move from his spot and didn’t rush to grab a hold of me. His hands stayed by his side and he just watched me as I kissed him. Every now and again, he kissed me back when my lips made their way back up to his lips.
“I haven’t always been good,” he said as he finally gripped my face in his hands and looked at me.
“Neither have I,” I whispered.
Our passion built quickly as our tongues intertwined. I didn’t want our night to end. If tomorrow never came and instead we spent the rest of our lives alone in that bed, it would have been enough for me.
It was a sappy emotional thought, and I didn’t know why it had come to my mind. Certainly, I wanted more in my life than to just be there in bed with Jackson. But the point was, I was so happy with him. It actually scared me to death just how happy I felt.
My body felt at ease around him and I couldn’t describe that feeling quiet right. There was an easiness between us. No need to pretend anymore, no need to be someone who we weren’t. I trusted I could be myself with him and he could be himself with me. That night in bed with Jackson had to of been the best night of my entire life. Not because of the sex, although that was very good, it was the best because of the emotional connection I felt.
As we continue to kiss, Jackson made his move to progress things a little further along. I suspected after our first round together that he was going to want to prove himself to me. No man liked it when he came so quickly.
His hands gripped my waist and lifted me up as I reached down and grabbed his manhood and pulled it toward my center. As he lowered my body, I wrapped around him and felt his thrust into me. My body wanted more and more of him as we intertwined ourselves together in perfect balance.
The intimate feeling of having his arms wrapped around me while we sat in the bed was a new experience for me. I wrapped mine around his neck and held on tight as our bodies moved gently together. Every inch of skin touched him and I felt emotions like I had not experienced during sex before.
I tucked my face into the small of his neck as my pelvis thrust against his and I felt my body loving every second of my time with him. This is lovemaking, I thought. It was what I imagined happy couples around the world did when they had each other in bed. It wasn’t something I was familiar with, but instead a lovemaking I had imagined for years and years.
This was what people did when they loved someone and wanted to be with them. I felt a tear start to fall down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. I was fucking crying while making love to a man! It was crazy to think that my emotions were going wild like that. Never in my entire life would I have thought I would have such an emotional reaction.
To be honest, throughout my life, I couldn’t even remember liking a man as much as I liked Jackson. Sure, I had liked guys before, but not to the point that I wanted to do everything right and make sure they stuck around. I didn’t know what was coming over me, but it felt weird and unusual.
As our bodies moved together, I felt the satisfaction of an orgasm developing. Jackson held onto my hips tight and pressed me down against his organ as his body also started to get close to release.
Then, in perfect timing, his mouth found mine and I felt his body release. His thrusting sent my body over the edge and I moaned out louder than I had expected.
“Oh, yes!” I vocalized as the strength of my orgasm surprised me.
There was something primal about the emotions I was feeling and the release my body felt. Everything about our night was so new to me. Not that making love to a man was new, I had plenty of experience there. But making love to a man who I had some emotional connection to was something I hadn’t experienced to the same level as we had together.
Jackson reached up and covered my mouth as an instant reaction to how loud I was. His hand over my mouth only served to drive my orgasm deeper and my feeling like screaming louder and louder.
“Oh come on, you two! Go to sleep,” I heard Chase say from his room.
Jackson and I laughed as we looked at the wall that separated our two rooms. I could only imagine him and Jordan in there listening to our night. It had to be the weirdest thing to hear people you knew screwing in the room next to you.
“You’re going to have fun with Chase and Nate tomorrow.” I giggled.
“They won’t let me live it down, I’m sure.”
“Nate is really funny. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a wife. No offense, but Chase is kind of boring.”
“Chase is boring,” Jackson agreed and laughed. “But he’s in charge of our father’s business and I guess that just requires a bit of boringness. Nate is on the road a lot. He’ll settle down when he stops taking contract work. He does have a nice cabin outside of Atlanta that he goes to on his off time. But there isn’t anyone around for miles, so I guess it’s hard for him to meet women when he’s home.”
“Tell me about your other brothers. You have two more?” I asked as I cuddled next to Jackson again.
“Yep, the oldest is George. He’s got two kids who are graduating from high school this year and next year. I doubt he’ll stay married after they’re gone. It’s not a happy marriage. Then there is our brother Jeremiah, he’s sort of famous.”
I perked up at the idea that one of the Foster brothers was famous. So far, none of them struck me as the kind of guys who even liked to be around people. They were certainly all handsome enough to be famous, but they all chose jobs that kept them out of the public eye.
Actually, Jackson and Nate’s jobs kept them so far out of the public eye that they were behind closed doors or hidden most of the time. They both worked to protect people and the lifestyles that people hired them to do. Nate was out in public, sort of, as when he protected people, he went with them. But he wasn’t visible in the sense that people actually realized he was there. Most of the information I knew about private security people was that they tried to hide in plain sight.
Jackson certainly didn’t make himself visible, at all. He had been hiding away in Italy for the last few years and taking jobs that he could do mostly from his home. He seemed to thrive when he was away from people and not out in front of them. I couldn’t wait to meet Jeremiah and see what he was like.
“Jeremiah Foster, I’ve never heard of him,” I said as I searched my memory for any celebrities with that name.
“He goes by Jere Foster, he’s an action film guy. He did the last 007 movie.”
“What? No! Oh my gosh, I remember seeing that advertised. That guy was super hot. He’s your brother? Wow.”
I could hardly contain my excitement. Jere Foster was a huge hunk of a guy. I had briefly seen an interview with him and couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. He looked a little different than Jackson and Nate, probably more like Chase. But he was certainly ripped with the same muscular build as his other brothers and of course similar rugged good looks.
“It’s shocking that we come from the same gene pool, I know,” Jackson joked.
“I mean, I think you are pretty hot, as well. But he’s steamy man candy hot,” I teased.
Jackson grabbed me and pressed me down onto the bed as he straddled me and held me in place. His large hand only needed to gently press on my wrist to keep them easily pinned above me and unable to more.
“Steamy man candy hot, eh?”
“Oh, yes. I bet there are women all over the world having wet dreams about him right now as we speak.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the idea that Jackson had a brother who was as famous as Jere Foster. It was a really big deal. Even if Jackson didn’t think so, it was. Jackson was probably desensitized to it because Jere was his brother, but I was pretty damn excited to hopefully meet him some day.
“He’s kind of full of himself,” Jackson said as he released me and got up from the bed to make his way to the bathroom. “Come shower.”
It was like an order, but also a question. I did as he asked and followed him to the shower.