That night, I dreamt I was flying. I was a helicopter. In fact, I was the helicopter that had flown my ex-SEAL buddies on that fateful day. I felt them step inside of me and I was flying them in the air.
"Shots fired! Shots fired!" Harlow yelled. I felt the bullets hit my metal body, piercing me. It burned. I could feel myself falling from the sky. The whole time that I was falling, I kept asking myself, why was this happening?. When my body crashed against the ground I caught fire. I felt like I was in hell.
I woke up with a start, covered in sweat. It took me a minute to realize that I was still in the cave with Michelle.
"What is it?" she asked. I must have startled her when I woke up because she had a wild look in her piercing, blue eyes. She looked very concerned.
"Nothing. It's okay. It was just a dream," I said, hugging her tight and patting her back. Her body was tense and she tried to pull away from my firm grip to look in my eyes. I didn't want her to see the fear that I was struggling to dismiss. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I hoped that she didn't feel it, too.
"What was your dream about?" she asked quietly. I debated whether or not to tell her, but finally decided against it.
"Maybe I'll tell you another time. The storm has stopped. We should get going now."
She turned to face the opening of the cave and saw that the rain had stopped and the sun was beginning to peek out.
"I guess you're right," she said, in a dejected voice. She sighed and rolled over so that she could sit up. She grabbed her coat and pulled it on and picked up her purse. She perched herself on the small ledge on the side of the cave and waited for me to gather my things.
"You know, Elijah, I just want to thank you for being so brave," she said.
Her compliment hit me right between the eyes. I should have felt flattered, but it made me feel guiltier. Brave was the last word that I would use to describe myself. And I refused to take credit for something that I was not. I was well aware of who I was. And I wanted her to accept me for who I was, not who I was pretending to be.
I decided that it was time to tell her the truth about me.
"Michelle, I am not brave."
She looked at me, somewhat bewildered.
"What do you mean?"
Here it goes I thought, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out.
"When we were in the SEALS, something happened. There was an accident. And if it weren't for me being a coward, the accident probably wouldn't have happened. It was all my fault."
She shook her head in disbelief.
"I don't understand. You have to explain what you mean."
"The day before we were to go up in the air, we had been drilling hard all day. Everyone was tired and we wanted to go into a town that was nearby so we could eat some of the local food. It was actually delicious… and filling. But the next day I woke puking my guts out. I couldn't drink water without getting sick. As the day went on, I found myself getting worse, not better. I felt that if I went up in the air and flew the helicopter, I would be putting everyone at risk. So I told my commanding officer how I was feeling and that I didn't think it would be a good idea for me to go up in the air.”.
“’'No problem, son’," he told me. 'We can let the rookie go up this time and you can do the next flight out.'”
“I agreed, grateful not to go in the air. But looking back, I wonder if it wasn't food poisoning. I wondered if it was just fear, or if I had some sort of feeling something bad was going to happen.”
“Anyway, I remember telling the Junior Pilot that he had a big responsibility on his hands. I feel stupid now giving him that advice. He didn't make it. I feel like I might have made things worse, making him feel nervous. Then when everything happened, he probably froze up and didn’t feel as confident as he should have been.”
“My stomach queasiness was only part of what was going on with me that day. To be completely honest, I was scared shitless of going on that mission. I told my commanding officer days before that I was really worried about it, but he told me to keep quiet and do as I was told. I didn't want to cause any more trouble or get him upset, so I just left it alone. But I couldn't shake this gnawing feeling that something bad was going to happen."
Talking to her about what happened took me right back there, like it was happening all over again.
“I still remember when the call came in about the crash. Everyone was rushing around the barracks.”
"They've been hit! They've been hit!" a voice yelled over the intercom.”
"What's been hit? Who?!" Yelled our commanding officer, throwing the communications etiquette meant for the intercom out of the window. He was frantic to get information. His eyes bounced off his head as he tried to find a connection or something that would give him the answers he was not getting over the intercom.”
"Helicopter...shot down..." came the voice intermittently through static.
“I knew what had happened.” I immediately felt nauseous and sunk to my knees on the cold concrete floor.
“I had a sinking feeling of regret… that I let my squad down. I could feel the eyes from the other SEALS, from men who were strangers to me. I felt like they looked at me like I had betrayed my brothers. Hell, I felt like I did, too. My commanding officer couldn't even make eye contact with me.”
“When it finally sunk in that something tragic had happened, my commanding officer sat down on the ground, staring at the wall. He looked so sad, so hurt. I didn't know what to say.”
"Sir, the impact of the helicopter on the ground was so severe that it caused an explosion and a fire started. There is a very low chance of survival for anyone who was inside," came the report from a SEAL in another division.”
“My commanding officer only nodded slightly, but otherwise didn't move from his spot on the floor. The SEAL walked out slowly, unsure if his words had really registered at all.”
"I've hated myself ever since," I admitted, finishing my story. "I have never told anyone this. I really don't know why I'm even telling you. I guess maybe I feel more comfortable, like I can be open with you, since we were so intimate with each other. You showed me who you were and let me connect with you, mind, body, and soul. You have not held back any part of you. It feels good for me to be able to do the same. Finally. And the fact that I can confide in and trust someone as loving, kind, and beautiful as you are makes it all the better. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she said smiling. "I'm so proud of you for opening up to me like that. Like I said before, and it still stands, you are so brave." She was beaming. By her expression, I know she was grateful I had finally opened up. I’m glad I had the courage to do it.
I was so lucky to have met Michelle. Over and over, she continued to amaze me. Chapter 15 Michelle
"Well, I guess it seems like I wasn't the only one who needed to make a confession. It sounds like you needed to do the same thing," I said.
"I appreciate you saying that. And I appreciate the compliment that you gave me earlier, when you said I was brave. But I was not brave. I was a coward and ran away from my duty. As a matter of fact, I felt like such a disappointing coward that I couldn't face my SEAL buddies anymore. I couldn’t renew my service with the SEALS. And I wondered if my ex-SEAL mates thought that I was a coward… considering I didn't have the balls to face them after that. I bet they do."
He hung his head low and looked sad, as if someone had died. My heart ached for him. I didn’t pity him… I felt a closeness to him… a bond that I’ve never felt with anyone before.
"You have to understand something," I told him. "What you did was very brave. You spoke up about how you felt. You could just have easily kept your mouth shut. but you didn't. You went with your gut and told your commanding officer about how you felt. So in my eyes you are the bravest man alive. When you told your commanding officer how you felt, he should have listened."
"Even if you want to say that it was good that I spoke out, the fact remains that I put them all in danger by not being the one to go in the air… instead, sending a rookie to do my job..."
"But, it wasn't your call to send them up," I said, cutting him off. "That was a call that your commanding officer made and he could have made the choice not to."
I wanted him to stop beating himself up. I know how much pressure it can be to take on responsibility for something you have little control over.
"I push these thoughts so far out of my mind that at times I forget that they're there. I really appreciate you listening and helping me sift through all of this without judging me."
"I appreciate you for that too," I said. "I know what you mean about holding things in and how it affects you. It feels good to be able to let it all out."
"Speaking of letting it all out..." he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
He got on his knees so that he was kneeling over me. He pushed me hard against the floor, his eyes becoming more focused on my face. It felt like he was searching through my soul, peering into my eyes to see the very essence of me.
He leaned down and kissed me hard on my mouth. He bit my bottom lip so hard I thought that he drew blood. I touched my lip gingerly with my finger and looked at it expecting to pull back fingers covered with red blood. Much to my surprise, there was no blood. He came in for another kiss, this time pushing his whole body against mine and pinning me to the floor. With him on top my breath became shallow from the weight. His hands traveled up and down the length of my body. His touch was forceful, just like the way he was kissing me. It turned me on so much that my nipples perked. He bbegan to wildly fondle me.
Growling, he flipped me onto my stomach and started ripping off my pants. I didn't protest, but waited with eager anticipation as I heard the buckle of his belt clanging. Looking past my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of him spitting into his palm and rubbing his hand up and down his hardened dick. He stroked it continuously, his head dropping backward as he savored the sensation of his hand gripping himself. He then reached over and pulled my ass cheeks open, exposing my pussy hole. I let out a yelp as he rammed his huge phallus into my wet pussy.
"Do you like that Michelle?" he asked, his hot breath over my ear and neck as he rode his dick in and out. I was already sore from all of the sex that we had befpre, but I was so turned on I barely noticed it. I just wanted him to fuck me until I exploded with wetness all over his dick.
"Yeah," I moaned, throwing my ass back to meet the thrusts of his hips as he plowed his way deeper into my wet hole.
I felt his hand land hard on my ass, making a loud smacking sound. My skin prickled like I was being poked with needles. Before I had a chance to recover, he smacked me again. He smacked me on each side of my ass over and over, each slap harder than the one before it. Throaty growls were escaping his mouth. He pulled me harder, his fingers digging into my waist. I winced in pain, but it was a great sensation of pleasure and pain mixed together. I could feel my pussy gripping his dick and tightening harder as he picked up speed, pounding me with his uninhibited thrusts.
I loved how he took charge and had his way with me. I liked the rough way he smacked my ass and pulled my hair. He was a man’s man… the total package. And what a package it is that’s shaking deep inside of me.
I just couldn't get enough of his big dick thrusting in and out of my drenched pussy, so I push harder against him… I want to feel every last inch of his glorious cock, thrusting like a jack-hammer inside of me. I was too heated to last any longer and loudly pronounced “I’m cumming!!” before erupting in a wet climax. Elijah then crested, releasing another load before letting out an unrestrained howl. We both collapsed in unison panting away for minutes. With his colossal frame on top of me he’s now facing me and begins places tender kisses across my face. This keeps getting better and better. I can get used to this…real used to it.
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Elijah
Her milky white skin shone in the firelight. Her voluptuous ass smacked against my meaty thighs as I pulled her back, driving my dick deeper into her soft center. Her pussy felt even tighter than before. I don’t know how long I can last at this rate. And the soft moans she was making was adding to the already amplified feeling my body was experiencing. I started fucking her hard, then harder, letting all of my frustrations get pounded out with each thrust of my hips. I could feel her throwing her ass back at me, grinding her wet pussy on my dick, making me harder than ever. It was so slippery, I had to put my hands down on my dick to make sure it was still in place. My dick rolled around in her pussy and the unimaginable sensation would not let up for a second. It was ecstasy fucking Michelle. I could almost smell and taste her pussy juice on the tip of my tongue. I imagined how good it would feel with my tongue wildly exploring her dripping clit, sending her into a frenzy.
"I'm coming! I'm coming!" she shouted, shaking her head from side to side as if she were trying to fight the inevitable. When she came, I felt her pussy walls tighten then loosen and tighten once again at unbelievable speed. I could feel gushy white cum coating my now iron cock making me glide in and out of her convulsing and pulsating pussy. I lost control and could feel my my cum beginning to rise up the length of my dick to the head of my cock, waiting for an explosive finally. Glad I was wearing a condom because I came so hard I swear I could have burst the rubber. She cried out, clawing at the ground in an effort to grip onto something. The combination of both of our shouts intertwined and reverberated from the walls and echoing around us… sounding like a beautiful symphony of raw passionate sex and lovemaking.
Michelle rolled over and stared up at the ceiling.
"That was amazing," she said, smiling and trying to catch her breath.
I agreed. Wholeheartedly.
"You know, this could become a habit that I could get used to," I admitted.
She laughed and propped herself up on her elbow.
"Yeah, me too," she said.
She became quiet and a worried look enveloped her face. She turned to the back of the cave, her back facing towards me.
I was overwhelmed with a desire to find out what she was thinking. I wanted to know what was in her heart.
The thought scared me a bit. I knew that I cared for her deeply and it made my heart skip a beat.
What if it doesn't work out, I thought. What if I get hurt? I knew that my feelings for her were extremely potent.
I was in too deep. Or was I?
My mind immediately went back to the last time that I was in this situation. It was my high school sweetheart, Sharon. She was the first girl that I had ever made love to. She went out with me on a dare from one of her friends and we hit it off really well.
"I had no idea that you were so charming," she told me at the end of our first date.
I didn't know that it had been a dare, so I followed up with asking to see her the next day. To my surprise, she agreed and we were inseparable after that.
The first time that we made love, we were at her house. Her parents had gone on vacation for the weekend and left her and her older sister home alone. Her sister threw this massive party with hundreds of people Their house was huge and most of the people were by the pool.
Sharon told me to follow her to her room and we hung out there most of the night. She put on slow, romantic music and started to take her clothes off.
"Have you ever had sex before?" she asked me, dropping her shirt on the floor by her feet.
"Uh...N-no," I stammered, taking a step back as she walked toward me. I fell backward onto her bed. She laughed.
"Don't be scared, Elijah," she said playfully, climbing up on the bed and straddling me. "I'm not going to bite. Unless you want me to."
She kissed me hard on the mouth. Then she slapped my face. She slapped me over and over again. It didn't really hurt. It actually turned me on. She made me slap her hard. At first I was nervous, not wanting to hurt her. After slapping her a few times and hearing her yell for me to hit her harder, I started getting into it. When we were done, she showed me red welts from my hand that were on her ass. After that, we had sex whenever we could. I fell for her… fast.
One day she decided that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She started hanging out with this football player, Teddy. She didn't bother breaking up with me. In fact, she acted like I didn't even exist. When I tried to talk to her and ask why she was doing it, she just laughed in my face… then walked away. I was devastated.
It got so bad that one day Teddy confronted me and told me that if I didn't leave his girlfriend alone that he was going to kick my ass. I was hurt. I told myself that I would never allow myself to fall that hard for another woman. And up until now, I'd kept that promise. But I decided not to give it too much thought. And I knew that it was time for our little getaway to finally come to an end.
As if reading my mind, Michelle said.
"Well, it looks like the storm has finally passed. We should probably start heading back."
We gathered our things and prepared for the hike back to the truck. I began to feel a bit depressed. Michelle walked in front of me as we got ready to leave the cave. Before walking out of the door, she turned around to face me.
"I'm almost afraid that once we leave here it will be like none of this ever happened. Like it was just a dream."
Her eyes were worried deep blue pools of sadness. I was too afraid to tell her I felt the same way. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her and smiled.
"If it is a dream, it's one of the best ones I've ever had."
She looked up at me, searching my eyes to see if I was telling the truth. When she was finally satisfied that I was being sincere, she sighed deeply, giving me one last squeeze, and turning to walk out of our love-nest. At that moment, I knew I had to find a way to keep her in my life.
I wasn't sure how the plan would work, but I was going to do everything humanly possible to make it happen
Chapter 16 Elijah
Michelle cried out gratefully when we got to the truck. She had been limping on the way back. I felt a little bad for all of the fucking that we had done in the cave… she was probably sore from it.
Almost. Just thinking about it again was beginning to make my dick hard. I had to try and shift my focus onto something else or I would have fucked her right there in truck and we might have spent another night in the woods. I didn't think that it would have been a bad idea, but I know Michelle was eager to get back to work and had been anxious about how the Bradfords’ would respond with her being gone as long as she’d already been.
I wanted to tell her to tell them to fuck off, but I knew how passionate she was about her job and didn't want to do anything that might ruin the great time that we were having together.
I turned on the radio when we got in the car and started listening to a commentary talk about the football game. It was loud and had lots of static since we didn't get good reception in the woods. But at least it was enough to help get my mind off of the incredibly beautiful woman that was sitting in my truck next to me. It worked for a while until she turned down the volume.
"So, tell me the truth. On a scale of one to ten, one being 'seriously?!' and ten being amazing, how would you say that I was. Mind you, I've never had sex before, so you have to grade on a curve."
That made me laugh. She was nervously wringing her hands as she waited for an answer.
I hesitated for a moment, "I'd say an 8."
She nodded slowly like she was trying to process what I was saying.
"An 8. Okay. That's pretty good, then."
"And the only reason I can't give you a 10 is because if I do, you may not feel like there's room for improvement… not want to do it again. The extra 2 points are like my insurance that we get to do it again." She laughed heartily.
"I like that. Very good answer. But just to let you know, you really wouldn't need any type of insurance like that. The way I enjoyed myself, I would love to do that over with you again… actually… many times over."
I felt heat beginning to rise up from the back of my neck. She reached over and put her hand on my thigh. I thought that my dick was going to jump out of my pants I got hard so fast.
"Ooooo!" she said, staring down at my crotch. "Do we need to pull over?"
"If we do, you won't be making it back tonight," I told her truthfully.
She pulled her hand away from my thigh as if her hand were on fire. I felt a slight tinge of disappointment, but I quickly dismissed it. I had to stay focused.
I drove the speed limit throughout the winding mountain roads. The trees became thicker as I made my way back towards Darren and Hope's cabin.
"I'm starting to recognize things now," she said. "We're almost there."
My heart sank a little. I didn't want this to be over yet. I wished that there was a way that I could freeze time so that we could spend more time together.
Once we got to the cabin, I pulled into the driveway, drove up to the front door and put the car in park. I turned off the engine and the silence was uncomfortable
"We're here," I announced loudly, trying my best to sound upbeat.
I got out of the car and walked over to the passenger's side to open her door. She reached her hand out to mine so I could help her to step down from the truck. Somehow, she still managed to trip, but fell into my arms. We stood there for a minute hugging, staring at each other.
I got lost in my thoughts of what I wished would happen for us. I fantasized that she would leave the city life behind and come live with me. She could spend her days with me in the woods doing whatever she wanted to do. We could explore all of the caves and fuck in endless places in the woods. Waking up to her every day would be exciting.
But I knew that was just a dream, a useless thought that would never happen. As soon as she walked into Darren and Hope's cabin, she would most likely become a stranger to me yet again. It would almost be like we’d never met. It would be just like when I had dated Sharon. Only this might be even worse because I really liked her and I could tell that she liked me right back.
I tried to hide my sadness as I got ready to walk back to my side of the car.
"Hey, would you want to come in and say hi," said Michelle. “I know it’s not really your style to socialize, but I thought I’d ask”
And while you're here, maybe you can help me out by explaining to them what happened and why I wasn't able to come back due to the storm. I'm pretty sure they will understand because they wouldn't expect me to be out in such a horrific storm… but having you back me up would definitely make it look and sound a whole lot better. What do you say?"
I froze. She was right about me not wanting to go in and speak to them. All I needed was to hear my ex-SEAL buddies calling me names and teasing me, saying that I was a coward. I struggled enough with myself feeling like I had let everyone down. Lone isolation helped to avoid feeling that way all of the time. I didn't want to voluntarily put myself in a situation where I might hear negative things directed towards me.
But then I thought about what Michelle had said. I thought there might be truth to what she said about it all being in my head. Maybe they didn't think of me as a coward and things would be fine. Who knows? I might even enjoy being in their company.
Being in Darren's house would also give me more of a chance to be around Michelle. Her eyes were all but begging me to go inside. I would have walked across hot coals for her. She made my heart happy. I wanted to spend as much time around her as I could. I wanted to shout from the roof top, to tell everyone, that she was mine and I was hers.
But for the moment, I would settle on walking into the house with her. I reached out, grabbed her hand and smiled.
"Let's go," I said, stepping up to the door and knocking hard.
Chapter 17 Michelle
The door swung open and Whitney was standing there with a baby on her hip.
"Oh my goodness! Michelle, what happened? We were worried sick!"
I walked in and instinctively took the baby from Michelle.
"It's a long story, Whit," I said, hoping that she didn't notice my cheeks reddened as Elijah smiled at me coyly. I could tell that he was remembering what had happened in the cave. I could still feel the ache from him being inside of me. But, I didn't want to tell any of them about it.
"It's my fault," said Elijah, stepping forward.
"Come on in," said Darren walking past the door and disappearing down a long hallway.
We stepped into the foyer and Hope appeared, inviting us to join her for tea in the kitchen. It was warm and the house smelled like delicious chocolate chip cookies.
"I knew it!" called out Harlow from the living room. "I knew that something bad would happen if she went anywhere with him."
"Oh Harlow, stop it," I said, trying to hide my irritation with Harlow. We had barely been in the house for a few minutes before he was already starting in on Elijah. I wished that he would get whatever chip he had on his shoulder off and leave Elijah alone... for once and for all.
"No, it's okay," said Elijah, waving a hand in my direction. "There was a huge storm that started as soon as we got to my other place, the cave in the woods. And since I didn't want to risk either of us getting hurt, I suggested that we wait out the storm. I had no idea it would have lasted as long as it did. I wish that I would have taken a better look at the forecast. Heard it mentioned that it might rain, but I didn't know that it would get as bad as it did. I apologize you guys."
"It's okay," said Monica, appearing as if out of nowhere. "I'm sure that you guys found something to do to entertain yourselves.” Her smile getting bigger and eyebrows raised as she moved closer. Oh, lord here we go, I thought.
"Tell me everything and don't leave out any of the juicy parts," she whispered loudly.
I elbowed her and grinned, hoping that no one else had heard, but sure that everyone had.
"Actually, Elijah was very prepared. His cave was stocked with all of the goodies that we needed to survive."
"Like condoms?" asked Monica slyly, not giving me a chance to change subjects.
"Like food," I said. "We were able to eat some of the canned goods that he brought along. He made a fire in the cave to keep us warm. I was really impressed with the way that Elijah handled things out there. He is really capable. And a gentlemen."
"Awww! That's good to hear," said Whitney. "I was worried that you had been eaten by bears or something. Did you get any of the messages I’d sent?"
I picked up my phone to check and saw I had no signal.
"No," I told her. "I don't even show where I've missed any calls."
"Oh," said Whitney. "We called you several times. The guys were going to load the truck up to go find you, but the way that it was storming, there was no telling if they would have made it back safe or not."
"Mommy said that you died!" came a squeaky voice from under the kitchen table where we sat. I almost jumped up out my chair. I didn't know that there was a child under the table.
"I didn't say that she died," said Whitney. "I said that I hoped that nothing bad happened to her. And I really am."
Whitney looked like she was going to break down into tears.
"Were you scared?" asked Whitney.
"Not really," I said. "I just wanted to get back because I wanted to be here for you. I felt really bad about going out at all. I felt like I should have followed my first inclination and stayed here. and then maybe I wouldn't have been trapped in the storm."
"Yeah, but it's not every day that you meet a sexy mountain man and get invited out for an adventure either," said Monica.
"That's true," said Hope, looking at me with her eyebrows raised.
"I saw it coming from a mile away," said Harlow, his eyes fixed squarely on Elijah. "I saw it coming and we were right to worry. Something terrible could have happened out there."
Elijah didn't say anything. But he looked right back at Harlow as if to say that he wasn't afraid of him. I felt so much respect for him in that moment. He was so brave.
"But it was wonderful," I continued, undeterred. "We had a great time enjoying being in the woods. We went on another hike. Being in nature and in good company is always refreshing. Even when it started storming, I had a chance to get to know Elijah better. I am really grateful that I had the chance to spend time with such an interesting and kind man."
I smiled at Elijah. He smiled back.
"Are those sparks that I see flying?" asked Monica, jumping up and down excitedly.
I didn't say anything and neither did Elijah.
"Well, why don't you stay for dinner, Elijah?" asked Hope. "That way we can all get to know you better and spend more time with you. I have some wonderful dishes prepared and they are almost ready."
"And those are chocolate chip cookies that I smell baking, right?" I asked. My mouth was starting to water at the thought of having a home-cooked meal and a tasty dessert.
"Yes! Oh my goodness! Thank you for reminding me! I'd better take them out before we have burnt chocolate chip cookies."
Hope ran off in the direction of the stove to take the cookies out of the oven. Elijah walked over to where I was at the table and sat in the chair next to mine.
"I would love to stay for dinner," he said, not taking his eyes off of me.
I had all of his attention and I was really beginning to like it.