Before long, Mia returns, with Liz following her. I start to feel bad for dragging her in for questioning by these ignoramuses. I half expect her to be hanging her head down in shame, but she's looking at me with a naughty smirk on her adorable face, as if we’d rehearsed this part, although we hadn’t.
That's my girl.
I'm so proud of her right now. I realize how loyal she is to me and I want to do everything I can to be loyal to her in return. I've never felt this way for anyone else and I never even fucking knew that I could.
"Ms. Suttell," Jeff asks her, without even offering her a seat. "Sorry to bother you. We realize it's your first afternoon on the job, even though we didn't even know you were going to start working today. For just a couple of hours, after your class got out. We didn’t realize you were going to be working here at all."
The tone of his voice makes it clear that he’s not happy about any of these changes in circumstance.
"I'm sorry," Liz says, smiling pleasantly at his passive aggressive rudeness. "Is that a problem?"
"That depends," Jeff says. "On the nature of your relationship— if any—" he rushes to correct himself— "with Dr. Monroe."
"I see."
She still looks at him unflinchingly. Suddenly he looks nervous. I love how my little Liz can make a grown man— and a bully at that— flustered.
"I suppose that's our main question," he finally continues. "What, if anything, is your relationship with Dr. Monroe?"
"Why, he's my fiancé," Liz says, without missing a beat.
I want to get up and hug her. But I remain seated, with half a smile on my face, as if to say, "See? I told you so."
"Since when?" Mark demands.
She turns her polite smile towards him.
"Since just recently, actually," she says. And then she follows it up brilliantly. "Why? Is that a problem? I've only had a little time to review the employee handbook I just received, but I didn't see anything about someone's spouse or fiancée not being allowed to work here."
"It's not a problem if it's true," Jeff says. "But I still have my doubts."
"Come on now, calm down," Niles says, finally jumping to my defense. "You asked the girl a question and she answered it. What more do you want from her?"
"Details," Jeff says, nearly frothing at the mouth to prove me a liar. "He probably just told her to say they're engaged, to save his ass. Tell us when the wedding is," he demands of Liz.
I'm about to protest but without missing a beat, Liz answers.
"It's in two months," she says. "June 29th. I always did want a June wedding, Love.”
Now she smiles at me, and her cute little dimple makes me wish we were alone. Not to mention her quick wit and charm.
"There you have it," Niles says, convinced. "A June wedding."
"Where is this wedding going to be held?” Jeff demands.
Liz pauses, and only now do I start worrying.
Tell him we haven't ironed out the details, I try to say to her through telepathy. Not everyone knows where they're getting married yet. We could be venue shopping.
"Houghton Hotel, of course," she says, with a sassy little raise of her shoulder. "Where else is there to get married around here?"
I raise an eyebrow at her. Has she really planned all of this out? Or is she just this much of a good liar? She’s even got me wondering.
"They have the best weddings," she continues, not even batting an eyelash in my direction.
She sure is putting on a convincing show.
"But the one we're planning will far surpass all the rest. We're not doing the normal dove release. Instead, there will be two monkeys who are in love— they're an actual pair of monkeys in real life, isn't that cute?— who will perform for our guests while we take our first walk down the aisle as husband and wife.”
Jeff’s mouth is hanging open. And I can’t help but wonder: Where’s the damn popcorn when I need it?
“And forget about a horse drawn carriage to bring me to the ceremony,” Liz continues. “I'm going to be riding a hot air balloon, specially flown in from New Mexico for the occasion."
Wow.
She’s impressed even me, and I’m in on this fake wedding idea. But I certainly wasn’t in on all the elaborate details.
"All right, we get the point," Niles says. "There's going to be a big to do. The most unique and special wedding ever. We don't need to go through every item on your wedding to do list."
"I, for one, am rather intrigued and interested," Mia pipes up. "Do go on. I have a question about these details. What is your dress like?"
From the way her eyebrow is raised, I can tell she’s genuinely curious, rather than just trying to interrogate Liz like the men are.
"It's Berta, of course," Liz says.
"Well yes," Mia agrees. "Who else would you go with?"
"Exactly. It's the latest beaded lace and tulle ballgown. It’s called the Belle Rosa."
"Yes! I’ve heard of it,” Mia says.
Liz shoots me a look as if to say, “that’s impossible,” and now I’m sure she’s just making all of this up on the spot. There’s probably not a wedding dress called the Belle Rose, except in her very creative imagination.
“I saw Alison Brie wearing almost as nice of one, in Town & Country," Mia says. "Very nice choice."
"Well thank you," Liz says. "I'm sure you'll love to see it in person, Dr. Malone. You're all invited, of course."
"Oh, nice," Mia says, nodding her head approvingly. "I will most definitely be there."
"For the Berta," Liz says.
"And the hot air balloon," Mia admits. "And monkeys? Really?"
"You know it, girl," Liz says, beaming at her.
"All right," Jeff interrupts. "Well I, for one, have no idea if this girl is as full of shit as Monroe probably is, if she's as batty as her crazy mother—"
"Hey," I tell him. "Have some respect."
"It's okay," Liz shrugs. "I'm used to it. She is pretty batty. But I just found out that my dad's pretty normal, so at least only half of my genetics are defective.”
Her face turns soft and thoughtful, and I love how compassionate she is.
“Plus, my mom's had a hard life,” she continues. “She can't seem to take it well when others don't agree with every little thing she believes in. I've learned a lot about how not to be from her, which is almost as valuable as learning how to be. All I know for sure is that my marriage is going to last a lot longer than hers did."
She winks at me.
What an amazing person I'm engaged to, I think. Then, I have to remind myself. Fake engaged to.
It's just pretend. But I can't help but wish it was real, now more than ever. I'm so glad to hear that Liz was able to talk to her dad. I knew there was more to the story there than Shirley was telling her.
"But anyway," Jeff continues, annoyed. "All I know for sure is that she's not going to sue us for anything. She must really have the hots for Dr. Monroe, to go to these lengths to either actually plan to marry the guy or make up all this stuff about their planned wedding."
"It's not fake," Mia protests. "It has to be real. I need to see this wedding."
"You’ll be a guest of honor, Dr. Malone," Liz says, smiling at her again. “Don’t worry.”
"Okay, that's enough, meeting adjourned," Mark says.
"Just stay on your best behavior for the next month, if that's not too hard of a request," he tells me.
I shrug and smirk, knowing there’s not much he can do. I give the orders around here, not him.
"After this deal goes through, I really don’t care if you marry these monkeys along with this storyteller here, and all of you can go live in the zoo together,” he adds.
"Sounds good to me," Liz says. "I hear that monkeys make very good living companions. Now that that's settled, can I get back to being trained on how to do my job around here?"
"You certainly can," Niles nods at her.
"See you on June 29th!" Mia adds.
And with that, the hot, luscious ass that just saved my own walks out of the conference room.