Chapter Four

Harper

Life had been so chaotic lately, and I’d spent most of my Saturday working. I had decided Sunday was going to be all about me. I would sleep in, eat breakfast in bed, watch movies. Maybe even get my hair done. I always felt better after a visit to the salon. It didn’t hurt that my hairdresser was right in the middle of a busy mall and that I always did some shopping while I was there too. New hair simply had to be paired with a new outfit. It was imperative. My Sunday was supposed to be blissful. But I’d been woken up by a message coming through onto my phone very early, and instead of ignoring it I’d decided to see who was messaging me so early. It was Jillian, asking me to please come over the moment I got the message.

For a brief second, I thought of just acting like I hadn’t gotten the message yet, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax knowing that my friend needed me. Jillian had been there for me so many times before, and I could never just leave her hanging. It also wasn’t like her to message me so early so I knew something must be wrong. I was almost certain that it had something to do with Thomas. He was the only one that seemed to cause the problems in her life. So I quickly got out of bed, took a shower, and headed over to see her. She stayed next to this wonderful café, so I stopped in to get us some blueberry muffins and some coffee and then headed up to her apartment. She opened the door in her pajamas and looked at me through teary eyes. Jillian had a way of crying that always made me want to protect her. She was a pretty crier, the type that made you feel instantly sorry for her.

“Oh, Jillian. Don’t cry,” I said.

She saw the coffee and muffins and smiled. “Thank you for coming and for bringing treats. I’m sorry it’s so early and that I look like such a mess.”

“Don’t be crazy. You don’t have to say sorry. Come on, let’s sit and talk.”

We made our way to the living room and sat on the floor with our food and drinks out in front of us, and I told her to tell me all about what had happened.

“It’s Thomas,” she said.

I nodded. I knew it would be. “What happened?”

“Things were going so well, and then last night we just had the worst fight. It was by far the biggest fight we’ve ever had. And the whole thing was so stupid. It started off about barely anything at all and then just blew up like an explosion. I don’t even know how it got so bad. Soon we were both saying things to each other that we both knew we were going to regret. I feel sick just thinking about it. You know how much I hate fighting.”

I smiled at my friend. Jillian really did hate fighting, but that was all she seemed to do with Thomas. “And how did you guys end things?” I asked even though I assumed it wasn’t going to be anything good.

“He broke up with me. Just like that. Our relationship is over.”

“Oh no, Jillian. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, and I spent the whole night thinking he was going to call me and tell me that he had made a mistake, but he never did. I just lay here crying like an idiot.”

“You should’ve called me. I would’ve come over.”

“It was the middle of the night. Anyway, I was still hoping that he would change his mind. Clearly, as you can tell, he didn’t. I can’t believe it. I knew we were having problems, but... I thought we were trying to make it work. I thought he just said all those things to me because we were in the heat of the moment. Even when he broke up with me, I thought he was going to tell me he didn’t mean it. I was so sure it wasn’t final, but now I’m not so sure. I think we really are over, Harper. I think he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. How can something feel so right but it’s so wrong? I don’t understand.”

“You know, Jillian, as hard as this is to hear, maybe it’s for the best. I know you love him, but why do you want to be with a guy who isn’t even willing to make things work? You are the most amazing girl I know. You deserve a man who is willing to fight for you. I know it’s hard to see now, but maybe in time you’ll realize that he wasn’t the right one for you.”

“But he is the right one for me,” she insisted. “I know it’s hard for you to see because we fight so much, but I really do love him, Harper. And I know that he loves me too. I know it! I’m so sure that we are meant to be together. I wouldn’t be this upset otherwise. I want to be with him so badly. What am I going to do?”

I sighed. Who was I to talk about love? I clearly knew very little about it. All I could do was to be there for her.

“Do you think he’s going to change his mind?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

“Whatever you do, don’t beg for him to take you back. Let him come back to you, okay? You need to prove to him that you are the right one for him. And you won’t get that by begging. That would be the worst thing that you could do.”

“I know. You’re going to have to stop me though. That’s the first thing I want to do even though I know it’s being stupid. Which means I need to stay away from alcohol. I’m not going to be able to stop myself from contacting him if I’m drunk. You know what I’m like.”

“I won’t let you,” I promised.

“Oh, and you want to know the worse thing? This damn trip!”

“Well, yeah, but I’m assuming that’s off now isn’t it? I mean, you only wanted to go because of him.”

“That’s just the thing. I’m the one that booked the damn thing for us. I’m the one that paid for it all.”

“What? But I thought it was his idea?” I asked.

“It was, but I went along with it. And I so wanted to do something nice for him. I’ve also taken time off for it. That alone wasn’t easy, but now that they finally said yes, I’m not going to go back and tell them I don’t want the time off anymore. I had the whole thing planned, and I was looking so forward to it.”

“Can’t you get the money back? You can just spend your time off at home instead then. You can use the money on some new clothes or something. That will make you feel better. I’ll come with you. I’ll take time off, and we can go shopping together. It will be fun.”

“No, it’s too short of notice. It was non-refundable, anyway, so I won’t get the money back. And it was a lot. This is awful! This wasn’t supposed to be how it all went. I was supposed to go away to a ranch and find love with Thomas all over again. I was actually really looking forward to getting away. I’ve been thinking about it so much. I even started packing already. How can he do this to me? It’s ridiculous.”

“Ah, I’m really sorry Jillian. I guess it’s better than him breaking up with you when you were already away. That would’ve been worse. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

“Are you still going to go?” I asked. “Maybe you should.”

“I don’t know. Although…” she said, and I could see that an idea was beginning to form in her head. “Hey, I have an idea!” she said suddenly and looked at me.

“Uh-oh. I don’t like that look in your eyes. What idea is this and why do I think I’m going to regret asking you?”

She seemed excited suddenly. Her crying had stopped, and her eyes were clear. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“What?”

“Yeah. Come with me. This is such a good idea. Why didn’t I think of this before? That way I won’t have to cancel the whole thing. I mean, the whole thing is already booked for anyway. It doesn’t matter if I arrive with you instead of Thomas. I’ll just call and tell them that there is a name change. That’s all. What do you think? It will be amazing.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re kidding, right? You don’t look like you’re kidding.”

“That’s because I’m not,” she said. “Come on, think about it.”

“That’s just the problem. I am thinking about it.” The more I thought about it, the worse I felt about it. But it was very hard to say no to her pretty face staring hopefully at me. How on earth did Thomas break up with her with a face like that?

“Come on; it will be fun.  You and I always have so much fun together no matter where we are. You and I have talked about going away together for so long and now is our opportunity. And you don’t even have to pay me back. Consider it a gift.”

I laughed. “A gift? You know, when I pictured the two of us going away together, I didn’t exactly imagine it to be in the middle of nowhere. I don’t even like glamping, let alone camping. This sounds awful to me. I think you are asking the wrong person.”

“You’re not going to camp. Well… I think one night maybe, but you’ll have a room most of the time. It’s not going to be nearly as bad as you seem to think it is. I looked at the itinerary, and it sounds like a lot of fun. And a great way to just relax a bit. Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?”

I shook my head. The whole idea was absurd. I couldn’t believe that she was even asking me to do something like this with her when she knew how much I hated the idea. “I don’t have a sense of adventure,” I said. The thought of spending my time around smelly animals in a place that was probably all dust made me feel somewhat ill.

“Okay, well, here’s the thing… you said you wanted to take some time off then too. I know you’ve already talked to your boss about it. And you said just the other day that you need to find yourself again, remember? What better way than to get away from your normal life for a while? And just think what a great revenge this would be for me to have on Thomas. He would never think that I would go and do this without him. He probably thinks I’m going to cancel the whole thing just because he’s not going. This would be an amazing way to prove to him that I don’t need him or want him.”

“But you do need him and want him,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t need to know that.”

“I’m not sure, Jillian. This doesn’t sound like much of a vacation to me. It sounds a bit like a nightmare, if I’m to be honest.”

“I know you think that it’s not your thing, but you might enjoy it more than you realize. Also, I would really appreciate it. I need to be around my best friend now. If I’m not with you, then I’m going to spend all this time being upset about Thomas. I don’t want to be alone right now, and I don’t want to be here where everything reminds me of him. And it’s not such a long time out of your life. And you really don’t have to pay me for it. And… well… please, come with me.”

I shook my head. Jillian was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that she has. She knew exactly what to say to make me agree to it. How could I turn her down?

“Fine.”

Jillian’s eyes widened at my response. “Really? You’ll come? Really?”

I sighed. “Really. But you owe me big time, okay?”

She squealed and hugged me. “I owe you forever. Trust me, Harper, you’re going to end up having the time of your life. And who knows? Maybe I’ll forget all about Thomas and meet a hunky cowboy that will sweep me off my feet. And maybe that hunky cowboy will have a twin brother who is also a hunky cowboy, and he will sweep you off your feet. And we’ll find love and romance where we never thought we’d find it before.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m optimistic.”

“You’re crazy, that’s what you are. And you really need to stop watching those romantic movies. That’s not real life at all. There is no such thing as hunky cowboys. I think we’ll last one week at that place and you’ll beg me to go back home with you.”

She chuckled. “And I bet you we’ll find ourselves some hunky cowboys and Thomas will be so jealous that he’ll come rushing back to me.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at Jillian. It would be fun to go away with her. We really had been planning to do something together for a while now. But a ranch in Texas was never part of the plan, and I was almost certain that I was going to hate every second of it. Jillian insisted that it would be good for me to learn something about myself and to get away from the fast pace of the city life. But I had a funny feeling that all it was going to make me do was appreciate my life a bit more. Why on earth had I agreed to this? Part of me hoped that Thomas found out the new plan soon and decided that he wanted her back. This was supposed to be their romantic break together, not a place for Jillian and me to go together. Come on, Thomas! Come back!