Chapter Ten
Madison
Ryder has been sending me text messages all week and I’ve been ignoring them. It’s not that I don’t want to go out with him, I do, God I really do, but I can’t. It’s too soon for me and I don’t want to confuse the kids, especially Aiden. He’s having a hard-enough time coming to terms that his father doesn’t visit him anymore. I don’t want to bring another man into his life only to have him leave as well. No, I won’t put my son through that heart ache ever again.
“Mom?”
“Yeah Aiden?”
“Can we do something fun next week?”
“What’s so special about next week?”
“We have school vacation and then it will be Thanksgiving soon too, remember?”
I tuck him under the covers. “Already? Wow. I’m sure we can find something to do. I guess we should go to the supermarket during the week before they run out of turkeys, right?”
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Can Ryder come to Thanksgiving dinner?”
I don’t know what to say to him. It seems he’s already grown attached to Ryder in the one day they spent together. Hmm, I wonder what else they did besides go to the park to have gotten so close that my son keeps asking for him every day. “I don’t think so buddy. Ryder probably has his own family to spend the holidays with. But, your Uncle Tyler will be here for sure.” The disappointment in his eyes tears me apart and I know without a doubt I’m making the right decision to not see Ryder romantically. If Aiden is this sad not being able to see Ryder now, I can only imagine the anguish he’d have to endure if he really got to know him and he left like his father did.
Ryder is definitely a charmer and knows exactly the right thing to say to get whatever woman he wants. I’m sure if I ignore his texts a few more days I’ll be forgotten, and he’ll move on to the next woman who catches his eye. I will be nothing more than a distant memory.
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I call Ryder?”
I furrow my brows, wondering what on earth he wants to call him for. “Why?”
“He said I could call him when I wanted to talk.”
“Aiden, I’m here if you need to talk.”
“I mean a man to man talk.”
“I’m sure Tyler would talk to you about anything you want.”
He turns on his side, his back now facing me. “Forget it.”
“Aiden.” I reach for him, but he slides away from me, pulling the blanket over his head. Tears blur my vision and I blink them away. He can’t see me crying again. This boy needs a father and no matter how much he loves Tyler, it just isn’t the same as having a dad around all the time. I see how he watches the other kids at school when they’re dropped off by their dads and the rejection he must feel is gut-wrenching. What makes things worse is that Mitch doesn’t make an effort. Not a visit, or a phone call to say hi and ask how his son’s day was. Mitch didn’t even bother taking him to his first father/son school camping trip. Tyler of course offered to go, but according to Aiden it wouldn’t have been the same. I stand in the doorway to his room and quietly die a little more inside knowing my son is heartbroken. “Good night Aiden. I love you.” I whisper, hoping he’ll understand how much I do care about him and not blame me for his father leaving.
I close the door, wondering if I made the right decision to divorce Mitch. Maybe I should have stuck it out for the boys. My feelings don’t matter to me as much as Aiden’s do. Maybe I just should have stayed married, that way Aiden would have a father figure in his life. I would be willing to endure anything for the sake of my kid’s happiness and self- confidence. Halfway to my room it dawns on me why I kicked Mitch out in the first place. He’s a manipulative, lying, cheating bastard. I must be out of my damn mind to think him being in Aiden’s life would be a good thing. What could Mitch possibly teach his son about being a good man? The only thing he would teach him is how to degrade women and be nothing but inconsiderate of other’s feelings. That’s not the kind of man I want my son to grown up to be. If I have to play the role of both mother and father to my kids, so be it. I rather be alone than have to deal with another man like Mitch ever again.
This morning went kind of slow getting the boys ready to go, but we were actually on time for once. Aiden barely said two words to me as he got dressed and didn’t say anything to me at all in the car ride to school. I don’t know what to do anymore. Tyler was a big help at first and still is, yet it isn’t enough for Aiden. Sometimes it isn’t enough for me either. I wish there was something more I could do for him. Me, I can cope with anything. It’s my boys that I worry about.
Sitting at this desk for the last few hours staring at the computer is not my idea of fun today. Usually I enjoy doing my job, only not today. I don’t think there is one thing that would make me happy right now, except Aiden feeling better, or at least getting him to talk again. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss his incessant chattering and constant questions. I glance at the time in the corner of the monitor. Two more hours to go before I can leave and pick up the boys. Thank goodness today is Friday and we don’t have to wake up too early tomorrow. We can use a break from rushing out of the house like we normally do. Maybe if I take them to the movies and spend some quality alone time with them it will lift Aiden’s spirits.
“Hey!”
I take my eyes off the computer screen. Tyler is standing in the doorway, waving his hand and giving me a questioning glance. “Hey!”
“What?”
“Did you hear a word I said?”
“No, what did you say?”
“What’s going on with you today?”
“Aiden won’t talk to me because I told him he couldn’t call Ryder.”
“Why didn’t you let him? Ryder’s a good guy.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “How do you know?”
“Because instead of leaving your drunk ass at the bar, he went out of his way to take you home and then babysat your crazy kids the next day.”
“He could only be trying to get into my pants.”
“Girl, he can get into my pants anytime. Have you seen that man?”
I laugh. “Yes, I have. Can you be serious for one minute please?”
“I just don’t see the problem with letting Aiden call him.”
“Tyler, I can’t afford Aiden getting close to a man that won’t be sticking around. It will only break his heart even more.”
“How do you know he won’t stick around if you don’t give him a chance?”
“Because men like him are only interested in one thing from a woman, especially a woman like me. To him I’m easy prey. A desperate single mother who would do anything to have a gorgeous man like him in their life.”
“And you’re basing these facts off of….what? You’ve only been with one man your whole life. Honey, you cannot compare every man to Mitch. Not every man wants to take advantage of you and treat you like dirt. Ryder seems like a sincere guy. Why don’t you give him a chance? Take a leap of faith. Maybe he’ll be the one who’ll catch you this time.”
I sit back in my chair, leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling. “I don’t know Ty.”
“Well, you’re not going to find the answer up there. Why don’t you try looking in your phone and answer the man’s text messages?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t think too long because a man that good looking won’t be single forever.”
Straightening myself in the seat I sigh. “Anyways, what were you trying to tell me before?”
“Oh right. I may have to leave in an hour to run some errands, but I have a client coming in at six. I don’t think I’ll make it back here in time, so can you take care of him for me please?”
“What about the boys?”
“I’ll go pick them up first and take them with me.”
“No Tyler, how will you get anything done toting them along?”
“My errands are nothing serious. I just want to get everything done so I can relax the weekend. Besides, I’ll probably get bored being by myself. The boys are good company.”
How could I say no to Tyler when he wants the weekend to relax after he’s done so much for me. There’s no way I can turn him down. The least I can do for him is handle one client at the end of the day to help him out. “Of course I can. Are you sure you want to take the boys? I can pick them up and bring them back here.”
“No, I’ll take them. Our client is new and will need every bit of attention you can give him.”
“Okay, if you insist. I got your back.”
He kisses my cheek. “Thanks babe. You’re the best.”
******
Ryder
If Madison wants to keep ignoring my text messages and phone calls, that’s fine by me. Oh, I’m not giving up on her, not by a long shot. Instead of moving on like I should, like any other man would, I’m pulling out the big guns. No, not my amazing biceps. I called for reinforcements. Someone who would help me snag the woman I’ve been craving since the day I laid eyes on her. Someone who will keep my secret until seven o’clock tonight. Tyler said he’d help me and I have no doubt he will. He wants the best for Madison and I won’t break his trust. He’s Madison’s best friend and I plan on treating him with the same respect as I would her. Tyler’s been by Madison’s side through some hard times and though I want to be a part of her life, I won’t be the one to force a wedge between them. Hopefully, she won’t be too mad at him for going behind her back to set her up on a date she said she wasn’t interested in going on.
Only a few more hours to go and make my way down to the museum for my date with Madison. Okay, so she didn’t agree to a date and doesn’t know I’m coming either, but that’s beside the point. The point is that she deserves to have some time for herself and have fun for a change. I need to have some fun for a change. Not just sex. I want to spend time with someone who will actually listen to what I have to say without ridicule.
I’m done with hopping from one woman’s bed to another. It’s getting old and I’m at a point in my life where having a meaningful relationship is what I want; what I need. It’s something I’ve never had before. I’ve never been with a woman longer than a few weeks before I got bored out of my fucking mind.
Madison is different. So different from all the other women I’ve been with. Sure, she has kids, but that’s not what makes her different. She’s loving, kind-hearted, and always thinks about others before herself. I have witnessed this firsthand when she interacts with her kids. She makes sure they have everything they need, not giving it second thought that she hasn’t brushed her hair or changed her peach stained skirt before leaving the house. She’s a complete mess, yet I find myself thinking about her every second of every day. I know being with a woman like her won’t be an easy ride, most relationships aren’t. I know I’ll have to accept another man’s children into my life and that, for some reason, doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. Maybe it’s because Aiden and Caleb are two of the most amazing kids I have ever met. Believe me, I have plenty of experience with little kids. A few of my nieces and nephews are complete monsters. I love them with all my heart, but they’re lunatics.
I’m ready to take whatever part of Madison’s life she’s willing to give me, no matter how big or small. Any piece of her will be a gift I’ll cherish. I hope all my efforts go the way I’ve planned tonight. I hope she doesn’t turn right around and leave the moment she realizes I’m the one she’s supposed to be meeting instead of an important business client. I can almost guarantee that she’ll be pissed, but my goal for the night is to get her to relax and forget about the daily stresses of her life for a while. Fuck, I want to relieve the stress wracking her body. I’m more than willing to deliver any pleasure she needs. I plan on pleasing her like no man before me ever has. Like no man ever will again.
Tyler meets me at the back entrance of the museum where the offices are and sneaks me past Madison’s closed door. He leads me to an empty room filled with paintings on the wall and a lone brown, wooden bench in the center of the room. “This is Madison’s favorite place to sit and eat lunch. It’s mostly used for special occasions or small intimate parties for our most prestigious clients. It’s always closed to the public, so you won’t be bothered.” He points to a painting on the wall. “That’s her favorite in the museum so get your phone out and study it.”
“Why do I…?”
“Do you want to impress her?”
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing. Learn about the painting and the artist. Throw her for a loop. Catch her off guard damn it. Then you can slide right in with your charm. Well, not slide in… per se…” He flashes me a coy grin. “You know what, whether you slide in or not is none of my business. But I’d like all the details if you don’t mind.”
I laugh and the sound echoes throughout the whole floor. “Deal.”
Tyler waves at me before putting his finger to his lips. “Shhh, she’ll hear you.”
I quietly curse myself. “Shit.”
“You weren’t very good at playing hide and seek as a child, were you?”
“No. Neither one of my brothers ever let me hide with them because I laughed so loud I gave our spot away.”
Tyler laughs. “I can see that.” He takes his phone out of his pocket, sliding his thumb across the screen. “I should get going. I have to pick up the boys. I’ll stop by Madison’s office on the way out and tell her she has to meet ‘our client’ in here at six. That should give you plenty of time to set everything up.”
“Thanks Tyler.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You may feel differently when she bans me from her house and I’ll have to spend all my spare time with you instead.”
I laugh. “I’ll do my best to convince her that I forced you into this.”
His expression turns serious, the levity now gone from his tone. “Just take care of her. Don’t make me regret helping you Ryder. She’s been through enough in her life.”
“I swear I have nothing but the best of intentions.”
He smiles. “I have a good feeling about you.”
I watch Tyler walk away and turn the corner into the hallway we entered from. I open the picnic basket, pulling out the blanket and lay it next to the bench. Not the most ideal place to have a picnic, but it’s cold outside and this was my only option to get Madison alone. I did manage to find a thick blanket so our asses don’t fall asleep on this hard floor though. I take out the plates, the glasses, and the non-alcoholic wine and place them on the blanket next to the chicken I made. I figured chicken was a good choice. Even if the food got a little cold while I waited, it would still be edible and taste good. Who doesn’t like cold fried chicken right? I hope Madison does because from the looks of it, I may have come a tad bit earlier than I was supposed to.
While I wait, I pull out my phone and walk over to Madison’s favorite painting. I type in the name of the painting and the artist and ‘study’ as much as I can before Madison catches me. I must have been doing too much research because I barely have enough time to tuck my phone into my pocket when I hear the tapping of heels heading my way. I stand as the sound becomes louder, getting closer with each passing second. My heart starts to race. I don’t know why I feel so damn nervous. It’s not like this is my first date. Maybe I feel anxious because this is the only date that’s ever mattered to me and I want everything to be perfect.
Madison rounds the corner, freezing once her eyes meet mine. I wait for her to come stomping over to me. I expect her to be furious at me for being here when she made it clear she didn’t want to be bothered by me when she ignored my messages. Only she isn’t mad. Her dejected expression hits me hard in the chest as I walk over to her. Tears begin to pool in her eyes and she closes the distance between us, doing something I hadn’t anticipated. She winds her arms around my neck, resting her head against my chest.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Her actions shock me. Luckily my instincts kick in before I have a chance to process the situation and I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her in close. “What’s the matter?” She shakes her head sobbing, soaking my t-shirt with her tears. My stomach twists into knots at the thought that something bad may have happened to one of the boys. What else would have her this upset? “Are the boys okay?” She nods, causing some of the tension in my muscles to relax. If the boys are fine, then whatever’s bothering her can fixed. “Talk to me.” She sniffles one last time, wiping her face with the palm of her hand. I place my hand on her cheek, gently tilting her head back so I can look into her eyes. “Madison, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“Aiden won’t speak to me. Tyler just called and he won’t talk to him either. He hasn’t said one word to me since last night.”
I chuckle. “Is that all?”
She steps back a few inches. “It’s not funny Ryder. He’s never behaved like this before. I think I broke him.”
I laugh. “You did not break him. It sounds like young Aiden is rebelling over something. I used to give my mother the silent treatment all the time when I didn’t get what I wanted. What does he want so bad that warrants such a guilt trip?” She looks around the room, clearly debating if she should tell me or not, so I press her. “C’mon Madison, how bad could it be?”
“He wanted to call you last night and I wouldn’t let him.”
I’d usually let something as minor as that roll right off my back, but I made a promise to Aiden he could talk to me anytime he wanted to, and Madison interfered in my bonding process with him. I know he’s her son and she has every right to want to protect him, but I would never hurt him and after the conversation we had last week I know he’s hurting now. I let out a ragged breath. “Madison, I told Aiden he could call me anytime he wanted to if he felt like he needed to have a man to man talk. I know I should have asked you if it was okay first, but he was upset, and I didn’t want him to feel like no one cared about him. It’s my fault. I…”
“Call him.” She says softly, spilling more tears.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
I reach into my pocket, pulling out my cell phone and dial Tyler so I can talk to Aiden. Tyler picks up, sounding worried. “Ryder? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Can I talk to Aiden for a minute?”
“Sure. He’s getting ready for bed. Gimme a sec.”
I put the call on speaker, waiting for Aiden to come to the phone. We hear Tyler yell for Aiden and some shuffling on the other end. I take Madison’s hand and bring her to the bench to sit next to me. Once she’s seated she pulls her hand away, wringing her fingers together.
“You’re not going to have any fingerprints left if you keep doing that.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Hello?”
Aiden’s low voice travels through the phone and right into my aching heart. It kills me to hear him sounding so miserable. I do my best to sound happy. I don’t want to upset him more than he already is. “Hey little man.”
The tone in his voice instantly perks up the second he knows it’s me. “Ryder?”
“Yeah. How’s it going?”
“Okay. I wanted to call you yesterday, but my mom wouldn’t let me.”
I look over at Madison who lowers her head, obviously feeling disappointed about her decision. I lift her chin with my fingers so we’re now eye to eye while I speak into the phone to her son. “I know. I’m sorry. That was my fault. I should have told her I wasn’t busy with work last night, so don’t be mad at her okay?”
“Okay.”
I gently slide my hand to the side of her face and she places her hand on mine mouthing the words ‘thank you.” I rub my thumb across her damp cheek and whisper. “You’re welcome.”
“What?” Aiden screams.
I’d been so caught up in the moment, I forgot he was still on the phone. “Nothing. Sorry about that. I gotta go now Aiden, I’ll try to come visit real soon okay?”
“Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we go to the park again?”
I look to Madison for an answer because I don’t know what I should tell the boy. I mean I would love to spend more time with him, but I don’t want to confirm a time to see him if I can’t. It would only make him feel bad. She smiles and nods, giving me the okay to take the boys out again. “Sure buddy.” Aiden screeches into the phone and then he’s gone.
Then there’s more shuffling and Tyler speaks from the other end. “What did you say to him? His mood certainly improved.”
“I’m not gonna tell you my secrets.”
He laughs. “See you later.”
“Ryder, I don’t know what to say.” Madison says softly.
I stand, holding my hand out to her. “Say you’ll have dinner with me.” I pull her up and she leans into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and gives me a squeeze.
“I’d love to.”
I guide her over to the blanket and wait for her to sit. “I hope you like chicken.”
“Who doesn’t like chicken?”
I take a seat across from her, pouring a glass of wine. Well, technically it’s grape juice. I hold the glass out to her. “Here.”
She pushes the glass away from her. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time I drank.”
“How could I forget?” I grab my shoulder, rolling it around a few times. “My arm still hurts.”
She laughs. “You’re so mean. I am not that heavy.”
“Here, take the glass.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“That may be hard to do with non-alcoholic wine.”
“Oh, then I’ll have some, thank you.”
I arch a brow at her. “Do you really think I would give you liquor after last week?”
“I don’t know what your intentions are.”
“My intention is not to carry your tipsy ass home again.”
“I see, you have jokes.”
“So many.”
I laugh, loving the banter going on between us. Being with her is effortless. I don’t have to try with her. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I can be my normal, cocky, funny self and it seems I’m wearing her down. Why else would she agree to stay and have dinner with me.
“Oh no. Ryder what time is it?” She stands, frantically searching her purse.
“Ten after six.”
“We have to clean this up right now. I have a client coming for an appraisal any minute now. We have to get you out of here.”
I grab her wrist and yank her back down. “Relax.”
“Ryder! We…”
“Madison, I’m the client.”
“But Tyler said…” She squints her eyes realizing she’s been had and grumbles his name. “Tyler.”
“Don’t be mad at him. I convinced him to help me set you up.”
“Hmm, I’m sure he didn’t need that much convincing.”
“This is true.”
“Oh, I know it is. It’s okay though. One day I’ll get him back.”
“Will you?”
She whines. “No, I suck at pranking people.”
I chuckle. “Well, lucky for you I’ve done my share of pranking.”
“So you’ll help me get back at Tyler?”
“I’ll think about.” I wink. “Now eat your food, it’s getting cold.”
She picks up a chicken leg and brings it to her mouth. I stare at her. Yes, I am now gawking at the sight of her parted lips ready to take a bite out of that damn piece of chicken, rather than being wrapped around my hard cock. I shift uncomfortably, doing my best not to attract attention to my growing erection.
“What the matter?”
I clear my throat. “Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah I’m fine, why?”
“No reason. You just have a deer caught in headlights look on your face, that’s all.”
“Eat your chicken.”
She takes a big bite, crumbs falling onto her lap before she has a chance to catch them with her other hand. She picks up a napkin and holds it under her face as she takes another bite. “Ryder this is really good.”
“Thanks.”
“You like to cook, don’t you?”
“I do. I always wanted to be a chef when I was younger.”
“Then why aren’t you one?”
“You mean instead of being a delivery guy.”
“Ryder, there is nothing wrong with you being a delivery guy.”
“Well, some people may disagree with you there. Their opinion of me is not one of great respect.”
“The only opinion you have to worry about is your own and I respect you.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I respect any man who makes an honest living. You don’t have to be a doctor, or lawyer, or earn thousands of dollars to be respected. You wanna know something? I think you’re a pretty great guy and any woman would be lucky to have you.”
The sincerity of her words pierce me right through the heart. No one has ever said anything that nice to me before. Ever. I mean my mother has, but she kind of has to. Madison is a stranger to me. She’s not gaining anything by being kind. She’s not patronizing me or speaking to me in a condescending manner. She’s being honest, and her compassion radiates through me, filling me with a warmth my heart has never known. “I don’t want just any woman Madison.”
Her shoulders slump and I swear I hear a tiny whimper come from her throat. She straightens and clears her throat. “So?”
“So what?”
“So, are you going to tell me why you aren’t a chef if you like to cook so much, because you’re obviously good at it.”
“Why are you changing the subject?”
“I’m not, you are.”
I lean back on my elbows. “I did try to go to college, but that didn’t work out for me. I also tried attending a small culinary school, but I couldn’t keep up because of my dyslexia. It was too much of a fast track learning system. I was just too slow.” I have no idea why I’m discussing all this with her. Only it seems natural to. If anyone could understand the struggles a person like me has to go through daily, it would be her. She sees the difficulties her son has to endure day to day so why not finally open up to someone who can relate to me. I just hope I’m making the right decision and don’t wind up regretting it later.
“Ryder, you are not slow, and whoever told you that is an asshole of the worst kind. You just have a different way of learning things. Everyone does. Some people learn better with pictures, others by reading, and some learn better by using both. Me, I need to read. I drive Tyler insane sometimes. When we were putting Caleb’s toddler bed together I had to read every word of the instructions. By the time I was finished he was already done because he followed the diagrams. No two people learn the same Ryder. Which brings me to my previous question? Why aren’t you a chef now? Why are you not following your dream? You do know most schools will help those with learning disorders?”
“I can’t do that Madison.”
“Oh no, heaven forbid a grown man such as yourself asks for a little help occasionally. It would be a travesty to the male gender. An abomination. A complete and utter horror to…”
“Okay Madison. I get the picture.”
“See, I don’t think you do. You go through life making jokes, flashing your bravado and using it to shield yourself from others. But I see right through you Ryder Storm.”
I sit up, getting annoyed that she’s calling me out. I knew talking to her about this would come and bite me in the ass. “Do you?”
She puts down her food and brushes the crumbs off her hands. “Yeah, I do.”
“Oh yeah, well since you’re so smart, tell me what you see.”
She kneels in front of me, poking me in the chest. “I see a man too afraid to take chances because the road ahead may be too bumpy to travel on. I see a man who hides behind his disorder and uses it as a crutch to keep people from getting too close.” She sits on her heels and lowers her voice. “And I see a man whose heart is so big, he’s willing to do whatever it takes to brighten a little boy’s day and asks for nothing in return.” She sighs. “You know what else I see?”
“What?”
“I see a man just sitting on his ass, listening to me rant when he should be kissing me.”
I don’t think, I just leap into action, sliding my hand to the back of her neck and slam my mouth to hers. The little squeak she emits quickly turning into a low moan and I swallow every shallow breath likes it’s my only lifeline. I deepen the kiss, pulling her even closer to me. Her breasts are pressed against my chest I can feel the pebbled peaks of her nipples through our clothes.
The sweet scent of peaches invades my senses, causing a frenzy of need only her body will fulfill. Fuck, she smells so good. Good enough to eat. I want to devour every inch of her skin and then some. I need to touch her bare skin. I want to feel the warmth of her underneath me and peel back every layer of sadness that has her heart so guarded. I lower my hand to the hem of her shirt, unfastening each button, slowly making my way to the top. When I get halfway there she pulls away from me, pushing my hand down.
“Ryder, stop. We can’t.”
I lean into her, gliding my tongue over the shell of her ear. “Yes we can.”
“No, we can’t!”
I plop back onto the blanket, letting out an aggravated sigh. “Why not?”
She points to the corner of the room. “There are cameras in here.”
“Then we should clean up so I can take you home and continue where we left off.”
She stands, placing the empty glasses in the basket and I use this opportunity to take advantage of her bare calf. I trail my tongue up her leg as my hand skates over her smooth skin. She stills under my touch and I raise my hand higher under her skirt. As I reach the middle of her thigh, she jerks back.
“Ryder!”
I laugh. “I can’t help myself. You are too delicious for words.”
She shakes her head, smiling. “Help me put all this stuff away please.”