Chapter Twelve
Madison
Waking up in Ryder’s strong arms is indescribable. No, I shouldn’t say that because there are so many words I can use to accurately depict what I’m feeling right now. Comfortable, safe, protected, wanted, and maybe a little turned on. Okay, maybe a lot turned on. My eyes wander over his bare torso and up his chest to the three bold, black crosses tattooed on his neck. I have to make a mental note to ask to ask him what they mean later. Not now though. Right now, all I want to do now is admire him. Take in all the delectable hills and valleys of his muscled abdomen and breathe in his glorious masculine scent.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a man in my bed. Even when I was still married to Mitch he slept in the guest room. Our marriage had been long over by then, so I didn’t see any reason for us to share a life much less a bed together. I didn’t know how much I missed the act of sleeping next to someone until now. The feel of Ryder’s warm body next to mine is something I don’t want to end. Only it has to. He has to leave before the boys get up. I don’t want them thinking my relationship with Ryder is more than what it is. Caleb wouldn’t know the difference, but Aiden is at an impressionable age and him catching me in bed with Ryder is not a situation I can explain.
I don’t know where I stand with him. Sure, we had the most incredible sex I’ve ever had in my life. Several times actually. But, I could just be a good time to him. Who knows how many other women he’s been with. Or how many women he’s sleeping with now. That thought makes me sick to my stomach. I know nothing about him, other than that short biography he gave me of himself last week. I smack my forehead, cursing myself for making what could be another disastrous mistake. How stupid could I be? Of course he’s having sex with other women. He probably has someone in his bed right now waiting for him to come home. I know he said he didn’t have a girlfriend, but what someone says and what’s true can be two totally different stories. I sit up, hitting the headboard with the back of my head.
“You know if you’re into the rough sex thing, you should have told me last night. I would have been more than happy to oblige you.”
His voice surprises me and I snap my head to face him. He’s propped up on one elbow, the bed sheet barely covering his naked body. His messy brown hair is sticking up in every direction. Some of the strands hang in his eye and I’m already getting wet at the sight of him. How could anyone be this sexy getting up in the morning? I must look atrocious. My hand flies to my hair as I try to smooth my curls down and twist it into a ponytail. Yeah, like that was going to make a difference.
He runs his hand through his hair, his sleepy gaze traveling over me. I immediately feel self-conscious about my imperfections and instinctively pull at the covers to shield my body from his view.
He snatches the blanket from my hand and yanks it off. “It’s a little late to be shy, don’t ya think?”
Grabbing my thigh before I have a chance to protest, he slides his body closer to me and squeezes me tighter as his hand inches up to my bare pussy. Shit, I’m not wearing any panties and now I’m regretting the decision to not get out of bed and put them on sooner. I want to stop him from going further, but I can’t. When it comes to Ryder I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell him no. His touch is addicting, his scent drugging, and I am consumed by the scorching trail coursing through my veins.
He places a tender kiss on my neck then slides his tongue over the sensitive spot below my ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
The heat of his breath sends tingles down my spine all the way to my toes, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin. I want to push him away. I want to tell him that we can’t pick up where we left off last night. That’s what I should be saying. Instead, I’m allowing him to do what he wants to my body. Teasing me with his magical fingers. I want more, I need more, but the reality of the situation comes crashing down on me hard. “Ryder, stop. We can’t...” My voice trails off. The weak tone of my voice only proves that I’m no match for Ryder’s persistence and he won’t stop until I give him what he wants. Nipping my shoulder, he thrusts two fingers inside me. My hand shoots between my legs and I can’t help but to push him in deeper.
His gravelly tone is barely audible as the heat in my belly begins to build. “You don’t really want me to stop, do you Peaches?”
“No.”
“Tell me you don’t want me to stop.”
“Ryder....don’t…”
“Tell me Madison. I want to hear you say it. Let me give you what you need.”
“Oh God Ryder. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
His soft chuckle coasts over my flushed skin. “Shh. We have to be quiet.”
“Mmm. I can’t.”
“Let me help you with that.”
He covers my mouth with his, delving his tongue into my parted lips. Swallowing my blissful cries, he strokes my swollen clit with the pad of his thumb and that’s when I lose control along with my common sense. My body is on fire, my hands desperately seek more of him. I bury my hand in his hair and claw the back of his neck as our tongues dance in a relentless rhythm. I’ve never been kissed this passionately before. Never felt beautiful or sexy, especially not after having the boys. But Ryder makes me feel like a goddess. The way he looks at me gives me the kind of hope I ache for and maybe, just maybe there’s a chance for me to be truly happy. I melt into him, giving in to my deepest desires. My release washes over me, sending me to a place I want to revisit over and over again. My own little piece of paradise that only Ryder can take me to.
I whisper breathlessly. “Ryder...that was...”
“Amazing. Watching you come apart in my hands is nothing less than amazing.” He slowly runs his lower lip over my top one. “You should eat. I can make you breakfast in bed.”
There is nothing on earth that sounds more appetizing than what he’s offering, but now that I’ve come down from that incredible high of ecstasy, my boys are what’s on my mind. I straighten myself and he pulls back from me.
He furrows his eyebrows and brushes a wayward curl out of my face. “What’s the matter?”
“Ryder...I…” How do I tell him he needs to leave after the night we’ve spent together; after the incredible orgasm he just gave me. I lower my head feeling ashamed of myself.
He tips my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “Hey, tell me.”
I take in a lungful of air and let it out in a rush. “I don’t think you should be here when the boys wake up.”
A flash of disappointment crosses his face. “Oh.”
“I just don’t want to confuse them.” He gets off the bed and picks his pants up off the floor, the jingle of his belt buckle ringing in my ears as he shakes them out to put them on. Suddenly I’m panicking at the thought that he may never come back again because of how insensitive I’m being. “Ryder, I’m sorry...I”
He exhales a heavy breath. “It’s okay.” He throws on his shirt and kneels on the bed, crawling over to me. He kisses me softly and smiles. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about the boys. I was kind of distracted. But you do realize that you owe me if I leave now.”
The glint in his gray eyes sends tingles through me and I can’t help but to smile back at him. “I’ll think about it.”
“Oh really?”
He tickles me, causing a little screech to escape my throat. “Okay, stop.”
He puts a finger to his lips. “Shhh, you’re gonna wake the boys.” Giving me a quick peck on the lips, he gets off the bed and pulls me up with him. “I’ll call you later.”