Chapter Fourteen
Ryder
Today is the last day of the boy’s week-long break from school. I’ve kept them busy for the past five days, taking them to the park, the movies, and the hands-on exhibit at the Museum of Science. Madison insisted they’d be bored if they went to a museum, but since the boys got to touch everything and participate in some fun experiments, they had a blast. Their clothes may have been a little soapy when they came home from the various bubble activities they did that day, but nonetheless they had fun.
Now, we’re standing in front of the gorilla exhibit at the zoo. I haven’t been to a zoo in years. I think the last time I did anything like this was right before my father died. He had a lot of patience with me, especially considering how hyperactive I was. I hadn’t been diagnosed at the time, but my dad always knew what to do to keep me busy and learning something at the same time. It’s what I’m trying to do with Aiden. All he needs is someone to take the time to boost his confidence and show him love. Growing up with dyslexia, I can relate to Aiden. I always felt like an outsider, even in my own house at times. I was always treated differently by my teachers, my brothers, and sometimes my mother as well. I felt like no matter how hard I tried to succeed at something, my best was never good enough. I don’t want Aiden to grown up feeling like that. I’ve come to really care about him and I will do whatever it takes to show him that his best will always be enough.
The vibration in my pocket distracts me and I switch Caleb to my other arm to dig in my pants for my phone. I glance at the screen seeing that it’s Quito calling me for the hundredth time this week. Normally I would answer him, only every time he’s called I was busy doing something with the boys. I decide to pick it up this time just so he’ll stop annoying the shit out of me. “Hey.”
“Hey? Is that all you have to say after you’ve been ignoring my calls for over a week? I thought you were sick, so I stopped by your house and you haven’t been there at all. I asked your neighbors if they saw you. I called your mom…”
“You called my mother? Why would you do that? Now she’s gonna be worried.”
“What the hell was I supposed to do. You didn’t show up for work. You never miss a day and you’ve been out all week. I thought you were lying dead in your apartment.”
“Quito, don’t be so dramatic.”
“Well excuse the fuck out of me for worrying about my best friend.”
“Can I call you back? I’m busy with the boys and..”
“What boys?”
I suddenly realize that with everything going on, I haven’t mentioned Madison or the boys to him. I guess I should tell him something since he has been looking for me all over God’s creation. “Okay, you know that girl…”
He doesn’t even let me finish my sentence before he interrupts me. “You mean the woman on your route you can’t stop thinking about? What was her name...um..?’
“Madison. Her name is Madison.”
“So, what, now you’re playing daddy dearest until she gives up the pussy?”
“Quito!”
“Shit, she already gave it up already, didn’t she? Now she has you in some kind of sexual trance where you have to do everything she says so she’ll keep giving it to you?”
“I’m hanging up now Quito.”
He laughs. “Why? Because I’m right?”
“No, I’m hanging up because you’re being a jack-ass. I’ll call you later.” I end the call, finding Aiden staring up at me. “I’m sorry little man. Why don’t we sit down on the steps over there and have lunch while we watch the monkeys.”
“Gorillas.” He corrects.
“Excuse me, gorillas.”
Setting Caleb in his stroller, I pull their sandwiches out of the small backpack and hand each of them one. They take a few bites and I reach into the bag for their drinks. It’s quiet in the enclosed space. Only a few people are in here now since the zoo will be closing soon. An older woman with a baby strolls over to us. She looks to be about my mother’s age, probably making her the grandmother of the cute little redheaded girl bouncing in the carriage.
“I’ve been watching you since you walked in here. What an attentive father you are.” She says, pushing her glasses onto the bridge of her nose.
“Oh, but I’m not…” I try to explain to her that I’m not their father, but she cuts me off.
She pinches poor Aiden’s cheek. “And this one is adorable. He looks just like his daddy.”
For some unexplained reason, I don’t want to correct her this time. My heart swells with pride at the thought of having these two boys as my sons and the fact that a stranger can see how much we’ve bonded has me busting at the seams with happiness. “Thank you.” I say, as she nods and walks away.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you my dad now?’
I choke on the bit of food in my mouth and my smile falters. “No, of course not. You have a father Aiden. I could never take his place.”
His bottom lip trembles. “Don’t you want to be my dad?”
Once again my heart is breaking for him. What do I say to him? What can I say? I guess the only thing I can do is tell him the truth because the thought has crossed my mind. I put my sandwich down and pick Aiden up, placing him on my knee. “Aiden, I would love to be your dad. In fact, I’ve thought about that a lot over the last week we’ve spent together.” How do I explain to a seven year old that it takes time to build a relationship? A relationship Madison may never be ready for. Sure, we like spending time together and get along great, but it takes a lot more than good times and amazing sex to establish a relationship like the one Aiden is suggesting. I’ve without a doubt fallen head over heels for Madison, but do I love her? Can you fall in love with someone in a few weeks? Is there such thing as love at first sight? These are questions I ask myself every time I look into Madison’s sparkling blue eyes. I just don’t have the answers to any of them.
I sigh deeply. “Aiden, right now your mom and I are just good friends.” Yeah, friends with benefits, I say in my head because there’s no reason for this little boy to hear that I’m screwing his mother. To Hell with that. I’m not going to open up that can of worms and have to answer more questions that I don’t know how to answer without scaring the poor kid for life.
“Are we friends?”
I ruffle his dark hair. ‘Of course we are. Now finish up your sandwich so we can head home.”