Chapter Twenty-Six
Jess
I couldn’t believe Mom said that in front of Noah! She was lucky Gina was around or else I would have screamed at her. What was she thinking? Whatever Noah and I were, it was none of her business. And what if Gina had heard? She knew we were keeping our relationship a secret from her for now. Everything was complicated when it came to his daughter. And Mom with her selfish ways almost ruined that for the three of us.
I knew Gina loved me as much as I loved her, but being a nanny was much different than being her mom.
I drew in deep breaths and let them slowly out while I took Gina into the bathroom for her nightly bath. She especially needed it today since she went to the beach. Sand clung to various parts of her body. I had her stand on a towel, and I scrubbed as much off as I could. As pissed as I was at Mom, I wasn’t going to clog her drains with sand. There was already a healthy amount in the pipes from living near the beach and bringing it into the house on a regular basis. Though it would have been an appropriate parting gift from me for almost ruining everything in front of Gina.
“All right,” I said after the tub filled. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Gina shivered a little since I’d taken her bathing suit off. But when she got into the tub, she let out a satisfied sigh.
“This is nice,” she said.
I smiled. She always had a way of breaking through any shitty mood I was in. I tried to shove away the picture of the embarrassed look on Noah’s face. It was enough Mom tried to weasel her way into my life, and now she was pushing herself on Noah. It made me sick. I wished there was something I could say to make her stop spewing out the first thing that came to her mind. But that was a lost cause on her. She’d find a way to make everyone around her feel embarrassed.
I cleaned Gina while my mind wandered. I hated how Mom did that to me. We were having a perfectly good day, and she had to ruin it. She was normal all day when we went into town. I could tell how proud she was to show me off to the people who lived nearby. Most of them I didn’t remember, but I didn’t have much of a social life when I lived there full time. I was too busy taking care of Mom and hiding her from everyone in town to have a chance to get to know anyone.
“Can you brush my hair tonight?” Gina asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“I like when you do it,” she said, standing up and allowing me to help her from the tub. “Daddy hurts my hair.”
“That’s probably because Daddy doesn’t have as much hair like you and me and he doesn’t have the practice I do.”
Gina giggled and covered her mouth. Her eyes sparkled as I rubbed the towel over her to dry off her little body. I wrapped it around her then pulled her against me in a tight hug. The very thought of losing Gina made me want to hold onto her longer. Maybe that was why Noah and I hadn’t discussed our future, because there was a chance that if we didn’t work out, my future wouldn’t include her, and I couldn’t bear the thought.
Noah and Mom were still outside after I changed Gina into her pajamas. I closed the door to the bedroom, not even wanting to hear the faint sound of Mom’s voice.
Gina and I sat on the guest room bed with her between my legs. I slowly pulled the comb through her hair, feeling the small pops as I moved through the tangles. She didn’t complain. I knew what she sounded like when Noah did it, and I tried to spare her that agony when I could.
“Did your mom do this when you were little?” she asked.
I didn’t have any fond memories of it, but I was sure she did. “Yeah.”
“I miss my mom,” she said.
I stiffened.
“I don’t remember her,” Gina said. “But I’m upset that I don’t have one. All the kids on T.V. have moms.”
“Well, it’s okay to be upset; have you spoken to your dad about this?”
“Daddy doesn’t like to talk about my mom,” Gina said. “He acts strange when I ask.”
“I’m sure he misses her too.”
She nodded. “I wish you were my mom.”
I stopped brushing, and Gina turned around to look at me. Her brown eyes pierced through my soul. What did she expect me to say? Had she heard my mom outside? Did she know about Noah and me?
Then she turned back around, and I continued brushing her hair, my hands moved automatically through the motions. Being so young, Gina didn’t know the effect of some of the things she said. And like when Mom asked about me and Noah, I had no idea what to say this time either.
Noah and Mom entered the house, and I turned my attention back to Gina’s hair. I smoothed it down with the brush and quickly twisted it into a loose braid. Lately, her hair started to go a little wild so keeping it back, even at night, helped with tangles.
“Daddy!” Gina said leaping off the bed.
Noah stood in the doorway, and he smiled down at his daughter. He scooped her up into a hug and whirled her around.
“You smell good enough to eat,” he said then growled against her neck.
I couldn’t help but laugh as she squealed at him to let her down.
He pretended to bite her a few more times before he let her to the ground. She came over to the bed and hopped up again. “Daddy, I want to sleep with you tonight.”
Noah sobered then glanced at me.
I nodded but said nothing. I could go one night without sleeping with him. Besides, I knew when we got back, Noah’s time would be filled with work again. He needed this time with Gina for the both of them.
“Sure, honey,” he said then looked at me again. “Your mom wants to start up the barbecue but needs some matches. I’m going to hop in the shower and get this sand off me.”
“Okay,” I said, heading out of the room.
He touched my arm. “I’m going to set Gina in front of the television. Your mom wanted to speak with you privately.”
Of course, she did. Probably to tell me to knock off my attitude. I was right, and I planned on making that perfectly clear.
“Thanks,” I said.
Gina shoved passed us toward the living room.
I kissed Noah lightly on the lips.
He smiled. “What was that for?”
I shrugged. “Just because.” Then I headed into the kitchen for the matches before I lost my nerve.
Mom was cleaning the barbie when I got out there with the matches.
“Thanks, love,” she said, taking them from me.
“I want to talk to you about earlier,” I said, diving right in. I wanted this to be resolved before dinner as I didn’t want to leave us in an awkward position for our last night.
“Love, it’s a conversation you need to have,” she said.
“You need to stay out of my business.”
“This is no longer just your business.” She took the matches from my hand and clicked on the starter. “You brought a little girl into my life and like hell am I going to let you hurt her.”
“How am I going to hurt her?”
“You’re lying to her. And if things go badly between you and Noah, Gina is going to be heartbroken. It’s better to hash this all out now and save yourself heartache down the line.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m a big girl.” Yet why did she continually make me feel like a child? I wondered if that would ever stop. But as long as she was alive, she’d mother me until the day she died.
“All I’m saying is I want you to be careful and know what you’re getting into before Gina gets too attached to you.”
“It’s a little late for that, Mom,” I said.
“Well, then I think you need to pray that it works out. Because at the end of the day, she is Noah’s daughter. You can’t have one without the other.”