Chapter Fourteen
Monday was a hard day, really hard. I couldn’t get out of bed. I took a sick day from school. I would have been useless in front of a classroom, there was no doubt about that.
I called Momma around seven in the morning and asked her to come and get Rhett. I needed the day to grieve, and I didn’t want him to see me like that.
It was gonna be a bad one, and I knew that.
I finally crawled out of bed around one and made some coffee. My eyes were swollen and red. My nose was raw from all the blowing.
Climbing in my car, I already knew I looked like ass; I felt it. I drove with no particular place in mind. Pulling up at Lucky’s probably wasn’t the best choice, but the hell with it. I went inside and ordered a beer. Drinking on a Monday afternoon was not me, but today was the exception. I deserved this, I needed this. For just one day I had to wash away the hurt, the emptiness.
I lost track of the bottles, but I knew it was enough when the room became a little fuzzy. The chair squeaked against the floor next to me, and I lifted my head. Big, brown, saddened eyes looked over at me, and I could no longer pretend I was so put together.
My lip began to tremble, and he took me in his arms.
“I miss him,” I cried. “I miss him so much.”
“Shh, I know,” Reed comforted me. “I wish I could make it stop hurting, Kori. Just let it out, let it go. I’m here for you.”
I did just that. I let him take me completely in his arms as he carried me from the bar and placed me in his truck. When we arrived at my house, I leaned on him, walking up the driveway. I sat down on the couch, and he took the seat next to me. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.”
“Hey,” he said and tilted my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look at him. “You don’t need to apologize. I told you, if you need to lean on someone. I’m here. I meant that, Kori.” He took my hand in his. “Blake will always be in your heart, you’ll always love him. He is the father of your boy. Every day you’ll be reminded of him, looking into Rhett’s eyes. It will get easier, but it never fully goes away.”
“I just wish I had things to remember him by. I never planned for this to happen. I feel like every day I forget more and more of him. It’s harder to picture his face, harder to remember his voice. I have nothing but a few pictures to show Rhett when he gets older, that’s it.”
“What about things from him growing up? His parents have to have things Rhett can have. Videos, anything they can pass on.” Reed still held my hand.
I shook my head. “His parents don’t want anything to do with Rhett. They didn’t want Blake with me. After the funeral, they tried to pay me off to stay out of their lives.” His face grew angry and the muscle in his jaw tensed. “It’s not a big deal.”
“That is a big deal, Kori. What kind of people would push away the only attachment they have left to their son? Who would push away such an amazing kid and amazing girl?” I smiled at his kindness and shrugged.
Reed stayed with me for hours, just talking. He listened to stories about Blake and me. It was slightly awkward at first, but then we fell into friendly conversation. It felt good to have someone listen. He never spoke, just listened as I went on and on. The good, the bad, and the great, he listened to it all. I left out the intimate conversation because, frankly, that was not necessary.
We ordered pizza, and Reed put the bed together for Rhett. It was comfortable, no pressure. Nothing was expected. Reed was being a friend, and right now I needed that from him.
***
Over the last few days Reed and I had grown closer. A friendship that felt good. We fell into a comfortable pattern. He would call or send a random funny text, something to make me smile. Nothing beyond that. He was being what I needed him to be, and I was grateful. He had such an incredible soul.
The weekend came, and it had been over twenty-four hours since I’d spoken with him. I sent him a text offering to make dinner tonight, but it went unanswered. It wasn’t like him to ignore me, but I tried not to let it get to me. He had to be busy.
“Nothing yet?” Maria asked as she walked up onto my front porch. I held my phone in my hand and watched as Rhett played with his tractors in the grass. I only shook my head.
“His truck wasn’t at Lucky’s when I drove by,” she said, taking a seat next to me on the steps.
“It wasn’t there last night either.” I didn’t want to worry, but it was getting harder not to with each passing second.
When Saturday morning came, I woke to a text.
I had to go out of town for a few days. Sorry if I made you worry. I will call you when I get back.
Out of town?
***
Maria and I spent the day at the mall on Sunday. Halloween was less than a week away, and I wanted to find the perfect costume for Rhett. I had still not heard from Reed, and it was a little unnerving. It was kind of weird how much the distance made me miss him.
I had grown used to his company. It had become something I had learned to rely on. His friendship made the days a little easier to handle. Now that he was not around, it left a slight emptiness in my life. This was a feeling I had to admit I was not fond of.
After combing through the racks of Halloween costumes, I had finally settled on the cutest little cowboy costume. Woody from the Toy Story movie. It was adorable, and I could hardly wait to get it on Rhett.
Sunday night I noticed I started to fall back into my old pattern. I grabbed a bottle of wine and Blake’s picture and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. The night was a little chilly as I took a seat on the porch swing.
I traced my finger over the photo and let my mind wonder over memories of Blake. Crunching on the gravel drive and a flicker of lights caught my attention. There was no mistaking who the big truck approaching belonged to. I swore that thing had to be the biggest truck in town.
I watched from the swing as Reed walked up the sidewalk toward the porch. He smiled and took a seat next to me.
“Miss me?”
I wrinkled my nose and continued to look out toward the front yard. “Not really.” His shoulder bumped mine and I smiled. “Is everything okay?”
He grinned, and his eyes locked with mine. “It will be.”
It was left as that, nothing further to explain his absence. He didn’t owe me an explanation, and I didn’t pry. It was none of my business.