My head keeps screaming, You only have forty-five days left for sure in this world. This isn’t right. Move away. Let Colby move on with his life to find someone who is guaranteed in this world.

My heart can’t. It won’t.

My head tilts to the side as he presses me back against the wall to absorb the fury and the pain in his kiss. And not just because of tonight. Because of so many nights. So many years we could have spent just like this locked in each other’s arms.

We’ve both been wrong and we’ve both been to blame, but who the hell cares anymore? Who cares when we finally made it to where we’re supposed to be, right here in each other’s arms?

Colby spins me away from the wall and backs me up toward my bed. His scent is overwhelming me. It’s Burberry mixed with sweat, the same cologne he’s worn since college. I can’t walk by a man who wears it without my head spinning, trying to find him in the crowd.

He’s never been there before.

He’s here now.

“Corinna, I need you to know something important.” His breath is harsh in the quiet of the room.

Cupping his face, I brush my lips against his. “What’s that?”

He picks me up and tosses me on the bed, causing half my clothes to topple to the floor. “You’re going to have to refold your laundry.” Ripping off the gloves on his hands, he also takes the time to unlace his boots before crawling on top of me.

I welcome his hard weight pressing me down into the mattress. More clothes and pillows go flying over the sides of the bed, as Colby begins devouring my body.

I laugh, unable to keep in the sound of joy.

Colby stops kissing the crevice my bra and V-neck T-shirt affords him and stares down at me. “What is it? Why did you stop?”

“Because I want to cherish this moment I’ve dreamed about for so damn long, and I don’t want to rush through it like it’s the last time. It’s not. God wouldn’t be so cruel as to give me the gift of you, only to let you slip away.” He whispers the last as he entwines his fingers with mine. He swallows. “I know it, Cori. I know it here.” He moves our entwined hands to his chest while he braces on one arm. “I need you to believe me, even if you can’t believe yourself.”

Tears leak out the sides of my eyes as Colby gives me his full weight again. He kisses the tears from my cheeks. “How?” I manage to croak out, tightening my fingers in his.

“How what?” he returns.

“How were we so stupid for so long?” My tears are falling in earnest. “When I think of the time wasted—”

He cuts me off. “Because we needed to be exactly who we are now to battle this, Corinna. Don’t think of it as time wasted. Think of it as time lived so we know we’re the only thing worth dying for.”

With that, Colby rolls to the side and releases my hands. He pulls my body flush into his, drags my leg over his hip, and rocks my body into the cradle of his. I can feel the strength and ferociousness of his erection up against my mound. He’s barely touched me, and I’m already primed and ready. I gasp at the contact. Tugging his head down to mine, I kiss him with years of pent-up desire. Our lips touch. Our tongues mate.

For long minutes, that’s all we do. We sip at each other’s mouths like we just discovered a new flavor. Decadent, sweet, savory. Addicting.

Trailing his mouth down my neck, he stretches my T-shirt over my shoulder, tasting as much skin as he can. My head arches back when he bites down on the tendon leading to my shoulder gently. I can’t bear it. I want more. I want everything.

I want him never to think this was a mistake.

“Colby,” I whisper in the lit room. My hands are scratching all over his T-shirt, pulling and tugging. He pulls away, far enough to grab it from behind and tug it off, tossing it over the bed. It lands somewhere amid my clean clothes.

When he looks at me, I see passion has changed his eyes from gray to a smoky black. And I begin to pray. Please God, if I remember nothing else, let me remember this look right now. Let me remember when Colby cherished and coveted me, because it might just be enough to carry me through the perpetual darkness.

While I’m beseeching a God who never sees fit to answer my prayers, I feel the catch to my bra give before Colby’s hands skim up my waist. “Lift up, princess.”

Suddenly, a whole new set of insecurities set in. Colby is masculine perfection from the top of his dark hair to his square jaw, down the dusting of his chest hair to his chiseled abs. His arms are so ripped, I have no idea how he managed to climb the roof of my house to my window. How is my less-than-perfect body supposed to stack up against the women he’s had in the past? Even just knowing about one of them, that she-devil Addison, makes me anxious.

Before I can form a protest, in one swoop, Colby’s removes my T-shirt and my bra. My breasts, no longer restrained, shift to the sides as Colby rolls me to my back. In this position, my amaryllis tattoo is clearly displayed over my heart.

“I can’t wait for my fingers, my mouth, to touch everywhere my eyes can finally see.” He ducks his head and blows gently on one of my nipples. It reaches for his mouth, as my anxiety melts away, and I arch toward him. “You’re so soft,” he murmurs. Cupping my full breast, he lifts it to his mouth to surround with his lips.

“Gah!” The sound escapes, me even as my hands scrape up his chest toward his shoulders to find something substantial to hold on to.

“I’ll bet I could make you come just from sucking these luscious breasts,” he rasps. Dragging his lips across the valley in between, he drops the sweetest kiss on my tattoo. “Beauty and pride. So you.” Moving over to my other breast, he lashes that one with quick flicks of his tongue before settling his lips on it for a deeper suckle.

My head turns back and forth wildly. “Colby. I can’t stand it,” I plead. My hands weave through his thick hair to hold him closer. He slides one arm around my back to anchor me in place as he torments my body with the sweetest torture. By the time his mouth moves away, I’m pulling his hair so I can capture his lips. “My turn,” I whisper as I push him onto his back.

He complies with a wicked grin. I straddle him as he reclines back against my pillows. His hands immediately go to my jean-clad hips. Mine dart into the feathering of hair that angles down his chest. His nipples are pebble hard. When my nails scrape over them, he lets out a hiss of pleasure. “God, Cori.”

I can’t resist biting the same spot he did—that spot I’ve dreamed of tasting for so long. Nor can I resist licking my way down between his pecs, where his body’s scent is calling to me like an ancient potion. Soon, it’s me working his nipples as I rock my hips over his straining erection.

He pulls my hair back so our lips meet. My breasts nestle themselves into his chest as we continue to rock together in the rhythm of what we’ll soon be doing.

He rips his mouth away and buries against my neck. “I have to taste you, Corinna. I’ve dreamed of this for so long…so many nights I held you…” The flutter of his tongue where his lips are resting as he pushes his hips upward has me answering on a groan.

“Please, Colby. Yes.”

He rolls me over and sits back. His chest is heaving as he delicately traces my skin from my neck to my waist, lingering on parts in between. He makes quick work of the snap and zipper of my jeans before I help him work them off by lifting my hips. Only the scrap of material of my sheer boy shorts and his jeans separate us.

“This body…” His voice trails off, and I start to freeze up. “I dreamed about it. I’d be in a desert, freezing my ass off, and somehow, I’d wake up sweating because of you. Because of the curve of these hips.” His hand smooths over my hip. “Those fucking sleep shorts you’d wear didn’t cover shit, but I never told you that, did I, Corinna? I’d be sleeping behind you on that couch and holding you so you’d sleep, and I never knew a moment’s peace because all I could imagine was sliding my hand over the curve of this hip.” My eyes flash up to his. He laughs with no humor. “Right here.” His fingers trail over the spot where more often than not, my shirt rides up when I sleep, even to this day.

“Is…” I clear my throat. “Is that what you thought of last night?” Colby held me so tightly throughout the night.

“Mm-hmm.” He drops a kiss on the curve of my hip. Pushing up against him, he gives me a wicked laugh. “This time, though, I was able to sleep because I knew I wasn’t ever going to let you go. You know that, Cori. The minute my cock slides home inside you, I’m never letting you go.”

I have to beat back the tears. Even if it’s only for the rest of this life, I’ll take the time he’s offering.

I’m so damn selfish.

He arcs an eyebrow. “Nothing to say to that?”

Suddenly the words are flowing; I can’t stop them. “I should let you go. You should be with someone you know is going to live. I should stop this now before—” And all my words are stopped as Colby slams his mouth back onto mine.

“You are who I’m meant to be with, and not just tonight, Corinna. And I’m going to make you believe that down to your very core.” Colby pulls my head back so his eyes are scanning mine. “I will never regret one minute of the love we make. Will you?”

I shake my head no. I never could.

His frustration is evident. “Christ, you drive me insane.” He rolls to his back, throwing an arm over his eyes.

I scramble to my knees, heedless of my lack of clothing. “Colby, please understand. I just don’t want you to be hurt if…”

He jackknifes and yanks me down on top of him. Aligning our faces so our noses touch, he whispers, “I’ve already been dead because of losing you. Don’t stop me from living when I’m only just starting to feel again.”

My mouth falls open. Colby uses that to his advantage by kissing me senseless. Soon, I’m on my back again and he’s skimmed off my panties. He’s working his lips down my body, murmuring his appreciation for the curves he’s held so close but never really touched. I can’t control the keening sounds escaping my lips.

“Please,” I beg as his fingers separate my lips. He’s blowing on my clit, tracing a finger around the entrance to my pussy. My hips are moving up and down, trying to keep contact with him.

“Not until I taste this sweetness, Cori. Not until I drink my fill.” He lowers his head. His lips surround my clit and begin to suck as not one, but two fingers penetrate my entrance.

And I detonate.

My hands reach out over his shoulders, which are between my dimpled thighs, to pull him closer. To push him away. I don’t really know. I hoarsely chant his name over and over as his tongue flicks against me, while his strong fingers move in counterpart inside of me. Again and again, he brings me to the precipice and drops me over until I’m left with one foot on his shoulder, my other leg bent outward, unable to move.

I’m a wreck of sensation. I’ve just been destroyed in the best of ways. And I know after he slowly wipes his mouth against the coverlet on my bed, he’s not done.

He’s just getting started.

He stands on the side of the bed and flips his wallet out to pull out a condom before shucking his jeans. The air I was just regaining in my lungs whooshes out as I see he’s been commando this whole time. All during dinner, while climbing my damn house, while driving me insane with lust, Colby hasn’t had a stitch of clothing on beneath his jeans. His cock is angled toward me, with the thick head already beading with fluid.

Now it’s my mouth that’s watering for a taste.

I start to shift so I can reach out and capture it in my mouth, but he quickly sheaths himself. I pout, causing him to laugh. “I want your mouth on me as much as you do, but not more than I want to sink into your wet heat. Later, I’ll slide my cock down your throat while you use that mouth any way you want.”

I want that too. So much. I’ll hold him to that promise. For now, I just open my arms and watch him prowl over me.

Even as his cock nudges against my opening, he combs his fingers through my long hair. “Give me a moment.”

I run my hand over his tight flank and whisper a confused “Okay?”

“I just want to memorize the look in your eyes.”

I feel him start to nudge into me. I take a deep breath.

This is real.

Slowly, inch by inch, his cock makes its way inside me. I’ve had sex. I’ve even had good sex. But this is so much more. My cheeks flush. When his pelvic bone brushes up against my clit, I gasp.

Bracing himself up on his muscular arms, he pulls his hips back and slowly moves them forward. I’m out of my mind with madness as I wrap my legs around him, giving him more of me and taking all of him.

Over and over he plunges into me. His body gleams with a coat of sweat I’m sure mirrors my own.

Then I feel it again, coming deep from within me.

“Colby…” I can’t manage more as his hips are thrusting into mine. Each time they collide in the middle, I feel like he’s going to throw me over an edge I’ve glanced at before but never really seen. Until now.

“Come for me, Corinna. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a lifetime,” he whispers next to my ear. I don’t know if it’s his words or the feeling of security, but I soar over the edge. He takes flight with me.

We’ve made the jump together as one body.

And in the middle, I think I gave him my soul.