Stretching, I put my pen down. Another notecard is complete. With every word I write, I’m regaining the power I didn’t know I lost. Putting the small stack to the side, I pull Colby’s journal closer to me. Tucking my fist under my chin, I flip through the pages I’ve filled with random thoughts over the last few days.

Today the blank page seems to taunt me to fill it.

Because in some ways, this is the book I dread. This is the book that could be my last chance.

Picking up the pen, I unconsciously let my brain spew through the ink.

You should know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love you…

I finish the journal entry by scrawling my name and put it aside, just as the front door opens. Colby steps through. “Hey, princess. You ready to head to dinner at the farm?”

Pushing up from the couch, I walk over to meet him with a kiss. “I sure am. Any idea what we’re having for dinner?”

“None. What are you working on?” he asks curiously.

“Just some thank-you cards,” I answer ambiguously.

The slow smile that never fails to weaken my knees crosses his face. “Anything urgent?”

I shake my head. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

He links his fingers in mine, and we stop at my island long enough for me to grab my purse. Soon we’re driving toward the main barn where the rest of the family is waiting. Our family, I amend, because my family has become Colby’s throughout this as much as they’ve become mine.

“I can’t take any more.” I’m doubled over with laughter. “I paid for your hair to be cut.”

“Do you see this picture?” Alison holds up the photo Holly took of her red-streaked blonde hair. “You stuck my hair in food coloring over something I didn’t do!”

“Who else could have? I didn’t come home that night.” Holly nods emphatically.

“Oh really?” Phil drawls.

We’re sitting around the huge farm table passing around the pictures Holly took of my morning-after revenge when I realized someone had eaten a good quarter of Colby’s birthday cake in college.

Keene accepts the picture and lets out a low whistle. “Damn, baby,” he says, addressing Alison. He turns to me. “Every time I see this, I’m impressed by the way you dole out revenge.” Glancing over at Holly, he says, “And it wasn’t you?”

“Hand to God, Keene. If it were, I would have paid for that haircut myself,” Holly swears.

I feel Colby’s body shaking as he tries to suppress his laughter. Finally, he lets loose. Planting a kiss on the back of my neck, he murmurs, “You’re going to kill me.”

I still. He can’t possibly mean what I think he means.

Does he?

“It was either that or do something about the raging hard-on I had pressed against your back just from smelling your skin.” He drops a kiss on my shoulder. “You were so sweet, made sweeter by you spending hours in the kitchen to make me happy on a day no one else gave a shit about.”

I turn around, laughter warring with indignation. “You! You ate your cake and let Ali take the blame?”

“Cori, will you miss his dick if I chop it off?” Ali says in a sugary voice. The table erupts in laughter.

“Tremendously,” I assure her. Colby’s grin is unrepentant. He leans down to brush his lips against mine, even as he addresses Ali.

“How about to make up for not fessing up when it happened, I treat you and Cori to a spa day once she’s permitted after surgery?” The smile he’s bestowing on me tells me the price he’s paying now was well worth the crime. Then and now.

“Deal,” we both say enthusiastically. But something’s wrong. When I say the word, it comes out wrong. I shake my head and repeat it. “Deee.” Frantically, I grab for Colby’s hand.

My heart is out of control.

The table around us goes eerily quiet.

“Co-by.” I can’t say his name. Fuck. I can’t say the name of the man I love! Hot burning tears slide over my lashes and splash onto my cheeks.

“Calm down, baby. You need to relax. This is probably just temporary.” His voice is firm.

Jason stands up. “I’ll call her doctor.” He walks out into the foyer.

Guttural sobs are spilling from my lips. Here it is, the end.

It’s only just begun.

And I never told Colby while I was whole that I loved him.

Jason comes back into the room. “Colby, I need you to move behind Corinna so I can do a few tests.”

Colby swiftly moves behind me. “I’ve got you. I’m not letting you go. Believe that, Cori.”

Tears continue to fall down my cheeks as dread invades every pore of my being. How can I expect him to live with me if this might be the best of what comes out of this surgery? I don’t respond, but I’m weak. I press back into his chest.

“Corinna, I’m going to ask you to close your eyes super tight and then open them.” Jason’s in full doctor mode. “Good. Now, I have a flashlight; I’m going to shine it in each of your eyes.” After a few seconds, he relaxes. “Good. Normal pupil response. Let’s check your strength. Push my arms outward as hard as you can. Now inward.” After I accomplish both, he smiles. “Now squeeze my hands. As hard as you can. Get out all your frustration and anger about this bullshit, Cori.” That I can do. I use every ounce of energy inside of me and tighten my fingers around Jason’s.

“You did perfectly. Let me call Bryan, and then I’ll tell you what this means, okay?” Jason cups my cheek before moving back into the foyer.

Colby reclaims his seat, pulling me onto his lap, before asking “Did you almost break Jason’s fingers? I saw him wince for a second there.”

Without thinking, I respond. “I was trying.” I sit up, stunned. “Did that sound normal to just me?”

Colby captures my face in his hands before pressing a hard kiss to my lips. “No, baby. You sound perfect.” His relief is evident.

“And this isn’t uncommon, Corinna,” Jason says as he steps back into the room. “She’s fine,” he tells the greater room at large. “What you’re experiencing are the symptoms you would have if you’d never known about your tumor before now. Bryan just wanted to make certain this wasn’t your tumor pressing on your ICAs. It’s not if my hands are any indication,” he says ruefully.

Reaching over, I grab one and give it a quick kiss. “Sorry, Jace.”

Cupping my cheek, he tips my head up. “I’m not. I’d rather know we’re not rushing you into surgery tonight. You’re under doctor’s orders to take it easy the next few days. No strenuous work or lifting.”

“What about sex?” I ask boldly. Colby turns bright red. The family save Keene, who begins thwacking his head against the table, all start laughing. Mostly in relief, I think with shot of pain to my heart.

“As long as you don’t go crazy, you’re still clear for that up to the night before you check into the hospital.”

“Okay.” My voice comes out shakily, but whose wouldn’t? Tonight scared the living hell out of me. It also proved to me I’ve been blessed with the gift of time and I need to use it wisely.

I need Colby to know how I feel before I go into surgery. Love was bestowed upon me as a gift. The first time I didn’t recognize it. This time, I’ll cherish it until I draw my last breath.

Time shouldn’t be wasted.

Neither should love.