“Is she out?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Good. Let’s move her on three. One, two…lift. Make sure she’s centered before you strap her down. I’m going to let Moser know we’re ready for him.”

“Colby, why do you have Corinna’s Vera Bradley bag with you?” Holly asks curiously.

“I honestly don’t know,” I admit. “All I know is that she told me I had to carry this with me all day.”

We’ve taken over a private waiting room at Greenwich Hospital. Over the years, Caleb and Keene’s families have donated an insanely generous amount of money to the facility, so they arranged to secure the space for our private use for the duration of Corinna’s surgery.

Eight fucking hours.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle it.

I get up and begin to pace.

“Jesus, if you’re this bad and we’re only a half hour in, I can’t imagine what you’re going to be like at hour seven,” Ali mutters. I turn to blast her, but I catch the glint in Keene’s eye.

Suddenly, an annoying alarm goes off on a cell phone. Everyone starts checking their devices. Comments of “Nope” and “Not mine” pepper the room. Halfheartedly, I grab my phone. I’m shocked when I see a reminder going off.

6:50 AM: Purple Bag—Ziploc 1. Love, Corinna

“Holy shit,” I gasp. I quickly take a screenshot of it before silencing the alarm.

Caleb shoves his chair back. “What is it?” He’s not as calm as he’d like to pretend he’s being.

None of us are.

“It’s Corinna.”

The room lets out a collective gasp, so I quickly correct myself. “No, I mean it’s Corinna who did this.” I heft the purple bag onto the table.

“What do you mean, Colby?” Cassidy tilts her head.

I hand my phone over to her husband, who lets out a slow smile. As they pass my phone around, I dig around in the bag for a Ziploc with the number 1. It has a bunch of neatly addressed envelopes and a single sheet of paper.

Colby,

Make sure everyone gets these. I think they’ll need them.

And don’t forget to read your journal.

All my love,

Corinna

After I pass out cards to everyone in the room, the family starts tearing into them. Laughter turns our frustration into a moment of shared joy as large silly brown bears open their arms to be giving us hugs from the woman we so desperately need them from. “When did she find time to do all of this?” I murmur.

Phil pauses in his attempt to use his bear to fornicate with Jason’s. “I don’t know, but I’m damn glad she did. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Remembering the rest of her note, I reach in the bag for the butter-soft journal and sit back to open it.

I thought I could write something about black bears, tie something prophetic and meaningful into my surgery, but really, I just thought they were cute.

How incredibly shallow of me.

I laugh out loud.

I know everyone - mainly you - has been worried about how I am handling this. Frankly, I was too. And then I met Alice. (BTW, she’s really cool and she’ll be down to visit y’all later.)

Alice made me realize what I needed in my world, which was spinning out of control, was to regain some of it. Between the insanity of work, the insanity of my brain, and the one insanity I never want to change which is falling in love with you, I was spiraling out of control.

The way I prepared for my surgery was my way of taking it back.

From the way I CHOSE to prepare for today, including cutting off my hair, to the things in the purple bag, and maybe a few others not in the bag (no, you’re not getting any more hints than that), these were things I could actively partake in, not watch happen to me.

By now, there should be someone knocking at the door. If not, they may have gotten stuck in morning rush-hour traffic.

Know you’re buried deep in my heart, Colby Hunt. I chose to put you there.

Now, go give one of my sisters a hug. I’m pretty sure they can use it.

Love,

Corinna

PS - Stop reading now. Mark the page with your bear hug. The next time your alarm goes off, you can keep going XOXO

Smiling, I do what she says. After all, she’s in control of the situation. Standing, I move over to Holly, who looks like she can use Corinna’s hug the most. “Can you believe she did this?” My arms wrap around her tightly.

Holly shakes her head. “And I thought she needed our strength? I think she’s giving us hers.”

My jaw unhinges slightly at Holly’s profound words. “Maybe you’re right.” Before I can explore the thought any further, there’s a knock at the door.

The room snaps to attention.

“Relax,” I caution them. “Corinna said this might happen.” They relax marginally. Throwing open the door, I reveal Matt and Ava from The Coffee Shop on Main Street in Collyer, holding huge boxes. “Holy crap. What are you doing here?”

“Early-morning breakfast delivery from Ms. Corinna Freeman,” Ava announces cheerfully.

“Are you kidding me?” Ali exclaims, laughing. Keene’s arm slides around her waist and squeezes.

“Charlie has all of your kids. He’ll be down with another round after he drops them off at daycare,” Matt announces as he ambles into the room. “Cori asked if we minded opening an hour late today, apologizing for being a burden. As if.” Matt snorts. “I can’t guarantee your coffee’s hot, but I know it tastes better than the shit they serve here.”

The Freeman siblings rush him en masse.

Keene comes up behind me and clasps my shoulder. “Corinna’s strength might get us through this.”

I shake my head, disagreeing with him. “We’ll get through this because of her love.”

“Better answer,” he agrees. Stepping away, he calls out, “Did someone bring normal coffee? Not this froufrou crap?”

Ava laughs before handing him a large to-go cup with his name written on it. He kisses her cheek before moving to go stand next to Ali.

Carefully, I put away the journal I’ve been holding this entire time. I slide the purple bag under the table so nothing will get spilled on it before I go claim my own drink.

Courtesy of the woman I love.