Chanel

 

As hard as I tried not to, I kept looking through my rear view as I drove off from my house. I couldn’t believe that Dario “DC” Caivano had just taken it upon himself to pop up on me, unannounced. Not like he could make the announcement, we hadn’t exchanged numbers or anything. He was for sure bold, I could say that. But judging how he wipes the ring clean with his opponents, I guess I should’ve known that much. I can’t say that I was bummed about being on his radar. He was fine as hell. Like, foine! I couldn’t even front. I tried my best to play it cool, but whether he knew it or not, I had already taken in that man’s full form and it was all of that.

I couldn’t believe that he was back there trying to be super cocky talking about I checked on him because I wanted to see him up close and personal. Pssh! Boy, please! But even with that, why the hell was I smiling so damn hard?

He was tall the way I like them. He was built like I like them; his teeth were nice and his smile was mesmerizing. Those eyes were what I didn’t want to stop looking into, but forced myself to do so. I couldn’t tell whether they were brown, blue or green because of the sun’s glint, but I was drawn to their glare. The only thing missing from this equation of what my norm would be was that he was white. White guys weren’t exactly my go-to. Not that I hadn’t gotten a few looks, or even been attracted to a few, it was just that nothing ever came from any of it. I damn sure wasn’t going to be the aggressor, and they hadn’t outright approached. I was once told that their lack of bravado might have been due to some level of intimidation. They didn’t know if they’d be cussed out, ignored, or just dismissed. But Dario . . . he didn’t seem the least bit intimidated. And even though I had given him a hard time, I secretly hoped I would see him again. There was something about him that piqued my interest.

 

My phone ringing through the Bluetooth system jerked me from my thoughts. When my speaker system alerted me of Tyler’s number, my leftover attitude was goading me to ignore it. This man was doing way too much. He was showing diligence that he didn’t even show during the course of our entire relationship and the shit was not just confusing, but totally turning me off.

I had no desire to hear his voice, but because of the shit he had pulled last night, I thought it best that I go ahead and take the call so we could get things clear once and for all. I skipped a nice greeting when I approved the call.

“What’s up, Tyler?”

“Damn, girl. Like that?”

“How else do you want me to sound?”

“Shit, like you’re happy to hear from me, maybe.”

“Tyler, what’s up? And what’s up with you just showing up at my club like you did?”

“I was trying to talk to you in person since you seem to not ever be available by phone.”

I shrugged as though he could see me through the phone. “And what is it that you think I’m supposed to be available for, Tyler? That’s the part that confuses me. We’re not together and haven’t been for a while.”

“And I’m trying to change that.”

I started to laugh before I knew it and although it was an uncontrolled action, I didn’t regret it one bit. The shit was funny.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to laugh, but you have to stop, Tyler. You really do. I don’t get you. I don’t get this.”

“Do you get that I love you, though?”

“Absolutely not. I get that you want to control a situation that’s long been out of your hands. But for what? I feel that the way things ended, we should never have had another word to speak to each other, but we made our way past that and back to what I thought was a friendship. But then you start pushing up again after so much time. It’s uncomfortable for me.”

“So, because of a little discomfort with me expressing my feelings, you stop taking my calls altogether? And you think that’s fair?”

“Please let’s not talk about fair. Your actions were never fair.”

“You mean as far as Rai, right?”

“Among other things. But yes, my baby is at the top of that list.”

“I’ve apologized for that and begged for the opportunity to make that up to you . . . to him. Just let me, at least, try.”

“Tyler!” I found myself yelling out. “I’m not gonna do this with you. I’m just not. I’m on my way to run some errands and I just wanted to take the call so that we could reach an understanding. But I guess—”

“So what, you fucking with the little boxer dude that almost got knocked the fuck out trying to come to your defense?”

I released a frustrated sigh. Tyler didn’t know it, but he was nanoseconds from being cussed out. I was trying hard to maintain my composure because I knew Tyler well. His mindset was warped enough to think that any amount of negative energy I gave him meant that I was feeling him. That was something I couldn’t afford to have happen.

“I’m fucking with me, Tyler. Me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that a long time ago I chose me and it’s still me, and will continue to be me until I decide that I want to share my space with a man again.”

“Well, I’m not gonna stop trying to be that man,” he remarked.

Please do, I said to myself before hanging up without saying another word.