Chapter Ten

 

I knew Blake would look good in baseball pants. I had forgotten how physically attracted I was to him. He did a nice job of reminding me as I covertly watched him from the park. Call me crazy, but there is something sexy about a man swinging a bat with command and then connecting with the ball forcefully, sending it sailing over the fence. Watch Field of Dreams or The Natural and you’ll see what I’m talking about. I would have to thank my mom for showing me those films when I was younger. I think she had a thing for both Robert Redford and Kevin Costner. I think maybe I had a thing for my husband. Somebody get me something cold to drink. It didn’t hurt that he looked my way, caught me staring at him, and actually smiled.

The team looked to be shaping up well. I had high hopes that we would finally beat Riley Insurance and wipe the stupid smirk off of Landon’s face that I had to put up with every time we ran into each other, which was too often in our small town.

“What are you grinning about?” Abby asked as we sat on the park bench watching her girls and Emmy.

“Do you see the way her husband looks in those baseball pants?” Cheyenne answered for me.

I turned to her and gave her a faux dirty look. “Are you checking out my husband?”

“No, but I will say I can see why you’ve stayed married to him.” She grinned evilly.

“Our relationship goes beyond skin deep, thank you.”

“Oh, really?” Cheyenne mocked.

“Yes, of course,” I said, annoyed. I wasn’t shallow.

“Tell us why you’ve stayed with him, then,” Abby goaded. Cheyenne and I were both stunned by her boldness.

I sat back some and thought for a moment. My feelings for Blake had been very unsettled recently. I looked over at my husband, who was now throwing a ball from right field, and I tried to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place and why I had stayed with him. The initial attraction was physical, but I did admire his work ethic and though he was tough on his crew, he was fair and never unkind. Once a guy on his crew got an emergency call that his two-year-old fell and was being rushed to the hospital. The poor man was understandably a wreck. It was like he couldn’t think. Blake immediately stepped in, got him to think rationally, and then drove him to the hospital. I was told later by the wife that Blake had given them money to help cover the emergency room visit. He did it quietly; he didn’t want thanks for it. That’s the way he was. It was why I fell in love with him. If he saw a need he tried to take care of it, but in his own way and without fanfare.

“I never have to ask him to take out the trash or do the dishes, and he does his own laundry,” I informed my friends. He’d done my laundry on occasion too, even taking special care of my delicates and hand-washing them. And during and after every miscarriage and illness, I’ve never had to lift a finger. Knowing the house and meal preparation was taken care of was better than any bouquet of flowers, although those wouldn’t have hurt any.

“That’s impressive,” Abby said almost jealously.

“What?” Cheyenne disagreed.

“What I wouldn’t do for Shane to help out more around the house, and without being asked. I mean really, can’t he see the dishes piling up in the sink or the hamper overflowing? I would be happy if his clothes made it into the hamper,” she lamented.

“There is something to be said for a man that cleans up after himself,” I threw in.

“How unromantic you two have become.”

“Nothing is sexier than a man doing chores. Ask any wife,” Abby said.

I nodded my head in agreement.

“This is why I’m never getting married. It’s pathetic.”

Abby and I both laughed at her. She threw up her hands like she was done with us.

We probably did sound unromantic, but after thirteen years or so of marriage, your perception of romance changes, or you just come to terms with the fact your husband was not meant to be romantic. It was a crying shame we weren’t more romantic. It’s not like we had kids to get in the way of that, at least not yet. I had to remind myself we would soon have an almost-teen in the house.

I was still trying to get used to the idea that Blake meant for her to stay in my baby’s room. I had tried to go in there this morning before I left for work, but I couldn’t. I wanted to take one more look before he dismantled it or did whatever he was going to do with it.

“So,” Abby said covertly, “when are you going to meet Madeline?”

I sat up straighter and tucked my hair behind my ear. I guess the cat would be out of the bag soon enough. I sighed loudly. “She’s coming to stay with us for the summer.”

They both looked at me with wide eyes and mouths wide open.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Her mom is taking part in some experimental trial this summer. I also have a feeling that Sabrina wants her to come here, just in case.”

“Just in case what?” Cheyenne asked.

“In case this treatment doesn’t work.”

They both gave me knowing looks.

“I’m trying to prepare myself for the fact this could be a permanent situation.”

“Are you okay with that?” Abby asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m okay with anymore.”

Isabelle came running into my arms before we could discuss anything else regarding my step-parenthood.

“Jessie, Jessie! I forgot to tell you.”

“What?” I asked her eagerly as she sat on my lap.

She squished my cheeks with her small soft hands. “Mama cat had her babies!”

“Oh, my goodness. She did?”

“Yes, and they’re so tiny.”

“How many did she have?”

She held up three little fingers.

“What are you going to name them?”

“I want to name them Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, but Connor and Avery said those are stupid names.”

I hugged her to me. “I think they’re cute.”

She sat up and yelled to her sister Avery, “Aunt Jessie, thinks they’re good names! I told you so!”

I was happy to be the honorary aunt.

Avery looked at her like she couldn’t care less about her opinion, and went back to swinging away with Emmy.

“My mommy won’t let me touch the kitties yet, but I really, really want to.” She gave her mom such a look.

I tried not to laugh. Or cry. Oh, how I wanted my own little girl to sit on my lap and squeeze tight.

Before she jumped down, I kissed her cheeks and off she ran to probably taunt her sister some more.

“You have your hands full with that one,” I commented.

“You’re preaching to the choir, sister,” Abby replied.

“Avery is just like you though, sweet and levelheaded. I’ve been watching her with Emmy.”

“She’s a good girl, but I think hormones may be kicking in.”

“Fun,” Cheyenne said. “But soon Jessie can give you advice on how to raise a teen girl.”

“Could you keep your voice down? Do you know how ballistic this town is going to go when that news comes out?”

“You should start telling people now so when she gets here it won’t be such a shock to everyone’s system,” Abby wisely counseled.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll have to talk to Blake about it. How do you even go about announcing that?”

“I say you get some of those birth announcements, and maybe put it in the Daily Press,” Cheyenne suggested with more sarcasm than was necessary.

On that note, baseball practice was over. Easton, Shane, and even Blake came walking our way. It wasn’t a bad sight. They made the forties look good—sweat, dirt, and all.

Shane lovingly kissed Abby on the cheek when he approached her. Easton called for Emmy, and Blake stopped about five feet short of me and looked between Cheyenne and me like he wasn’t sure what he should do.

Cheyenne rolled her eyes. “You two need help,” she said before she walked off waving to us all. I noticed she gave Easton his own goodbye and wink. Sometimes I wondered how we ever became friends.

Easton approached us with Emmy. “Thanks, Jessie.”

“Anytime.” I smiled down at Emmy. “Tell your dad he needs to bring you by the café more often. I have some cinnamon rolls with your name on them.”

She smiled shyly and turned into her dad.

Easton smiled at me. “We’ll come by Saturday.”

“See you then.”

Easton patted Blake’s shoulder, “See you later, man.”

Blake nodded in acknowledgement.

I was glad to know it wasn’t only me he was quiet for.

I gave hugs and kisses to Isabelle and Avery and said my goodbyes to Abby and Shane. Then I was left with only my husband.

“You looked good out there,” I said almost coyly, which was ridiculous.

He stepped closer, looking at me intently. “Thanks.”

“So, are you ready to go home?”

“I need to head back to the Newels’ place and finish up some things.”

“Oh.” It was almost eight, but that was Blake. “I’ll see you later then.” I actually felt disappointed. I turned and walked toward my car. I had almost made it when I heard Blake call out behind me.

“Jessica!”

I turned to see Blake making his way toward me in long strides. I waited for him in front of my Tahoe.

This time when he approached me, he came closer. So much so I could smell the mixture of sweat and his cologne. It wasn’t bad.

He took his hat off and ran his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. “Do you want to come out to the Newels’ place with me? I’d like to show you something.”

Was he nervous? He was acting nervous. He kept running his fingers through that dark hair of his and looking down at his shoes and then back up at me.

“Yes.” I couldn’t believe he was asking me to come with him. We never mixed business and personal. Heck, we never mixed personal with personal, as of late.

He placed his ball cap back on his head and gave me a crooked little grin. “I’ll follow you home and then we can drive out together.”

Together, I thought. “I’d like that.”

He quickly turned and made his way to his truck across the parking lot. For a moment, I watched him go. I wondered what had gotten into him and what he wanted to show me. The Newels owned a beautiful house on Merryton Lake, but they only lived there in the summers. I didn’t know that they had contracted with Blake to do some work for them. But then again, I didn’t know much about my husband’s business other than what other people told me. We shared mutual customers and many of them raved and raved about what good work my husband did. No one had to tell me. He was a master craftsman.

We only stopped at home long enough for me to park my Tahoe in the garage. Blake waited for me in his truck. Again, I long ago gave up any hope of him opening a car door for me. I think he did once on our wedding day as we left the reception for the airport to fly to Mexico. Our time there was the most glorious week ever. The beach looked good on Blake. Or should I say, Blake looked good on the beach. I think it was the last time I really saw Blake relax. Maybe we should go to the beach.

At first we said nothing, which was just sad. I guess if someone had to make the first move, it could be me. “Thanks again for agreeing to play on the team. I’m sorry it’s interfering with your work.”

“It’s not interfering. I’m running behind today because I had to get Madeline into summer school at the junior high.”

“How did you swing that? And why are you putting her into summer school?”

“Let’s just say her mother hasn’t been very diligent about her schooling and she’s struggling to the point they want to hold her back a year.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Blake was not a happy camper. His white knuckles gripped the steering wheel and there was a tightness to his tone. He glanced my way briefly. “I’m the sorry one. I know none of this is fair to you.”

“What does fair mean?” I sadly smiled. “I don’t think any of this is fair to anyone. You’ve missed out on her life and she’s missed out on having a father. Her mother has a terrible disease. There’s plenty of unfairness to go around.”

“But you deserve better than this.”

“You know my dad said the same thing?” I teased. “You guys finally agree on something.”

“No. We’ve always agreed on that, but selfishly I still wanted you.”

I grinned and looked out my window. I wasn’t used to Blake being so open and I wasn’t quite sure how to react. I’m pretty sure I liked it. I was only afraid it wouldn’t last.

We were silent the remainder of the twenty-minute drive, but at least it wasn’t the uncomfortable kind, or worse, the silent treatment.

I loved the lake and it looked beautiful at night with the large, gorgeous homes that were lit up around it. The moon added to the ambience as it reflected against the ripples of the lake.

The Newels’ outdoor security lights were on, but other than that, the house was dark. Even in the dark you could tell it was a magnificent home. It was a large, two-story log cabin, with a walk-out basement. Their backyard faced the lake and they had their own private loading dock. Mason Newel had been an investment broker and had done quite well for himself. Mason and Roberta Newel were friends of my parents, and on a few occasions I had been invited to some of the over-the-top parties they threw in the summertime. Blake had been invited as well, but he and large groups of people didn’t mix. Really, he and people didn’t mix, usually. He could do well with one-on-one situations, but people really weren’t his thing. I, on the other hand, loved people, at least mostly.

We walked around to the backdoor entrance where Blake let us in. Blake flipped on the light switch to reveal probably the best man cave in Merryton: theater-size television, billiards, darts, a bar—you get the picture. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had smoking jackets hanging in the closet.

“Nice,” I commented as we walked through the room to the stairs.

Blake shrugged.

“It’s a little different than your workshop.”

He looked back at me from the step above and smiled.

“A smile?” I grinned.

He didn’t say anything other than to reach for my hand and lead me through the darkened home to the master bath. I did love the feel of his hand. There was something comforting about it.

When we reached our destination he released me and illuminated the room with a flip of a switch.

I was immediately overwhelmed by the sight before me. If I could pick any bathroom in the world, this would be the bathroom. I placed my hand across my heart. “Did you do this?”

“Yeah,” he said like it was no big deal.

“It’s beautiful. You’re amazing.”

He shrugged it off.

I reached for his hand. “Really, you are.”

He squeezed my hand once. “Thanks. I just need to finish applying the finish to two of the cabinet doors and then we can go.”

“Can I take a peek around?”

“Of course.”

I let go of his hand and immediately went for the walk-in shower. I had always wanted one with the rain shower feature, exactly like what was before my eyes. It was done in the most beautiful slate grey tile, and you could walk through on either end, as there were no doors. There was also a custom-made bench inside.

“Do I dare even ask why this bench in here is so large?” I called out to Blake. My voice echoed in the large shower. I was in love.

He actually chuckled. “Believe me, I didn’t ask when they gave me the specifications for it.”

I peeked around the shower. “A smile and a laugh all in one night?”

“So you like it?” he asked.

“I love it.” I looked at the sunken round tub for two—or maybe even three—right next to the shower, with rounded steps leading up to it. “Everything is perfect.”

Blake was carefully situating a cabinet door with a beautiful pine stain as he prepared to add a layer of finish to it. “What would you think about doing something like this in our bathroom?” he asked almost offhandedly, as he was paying attention to his task at hand.

“Are you serious? I thought you said bathrooms like these were impractical and unnecessary.” When we designed our home I had wanted a larger shower for two and a sunken tub for the both of us as well, but Blake was more of a jump in and jump out kind of guy; I had never even seen him take a bath. I had tried jumping in the shower with him on occasion, but he seemed almost annoyed at my presence since he had to maneuver around me. Don’t get me wrong—we had a beautiful bathroom. The tile work alone that Blake had done in our shower was a work of art. The stand-alone tub for one stood nicely on a raised wooden platform, giving it an artistic feel, but neither were couple-friendly.

“I was thinking we could knock the wall out to my closet and use that space to add a new rain shower, and I could replace our tub with something similar to this. Since your closet faces the outside wall I could expand it out and we could share the space.”

“That’s a lot of work.”

“I wouldn’t be able to start on it until late fall.”

Late fall, I thought. Would we still be together? I knew in his mind that was the only option, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want that too, I just wasn’t sure what this summer would bring. We had a huge change coming our way and we were already on unstable ground. Before I said something I would probably regret, I remembered something wise Abby had said to me earlier. She said I shouldn’t worry about the finish line. That I should focus on making the here and now work and let the future take care of itself. I loved that girl.

I took a deep breath. “I would love a bathroom like this if you think you could manage the time. I’ll split the cost with you.” I hated adding that last part. I more than hated that we didn’t share finances.

“Don’t worry about the cost, I have it covered.”

Part of me wanted to squeal. I took out my phone and snapped some pictures so I could show Abby and Cheyenne and so I could look at it from time to time. I held my stomach and realized I felt something I hadn’t in a long while: anticipation. I also felt something else—hungry. My stomach growled in the silence.

“Are you hungry?” Blake asked.

“How could you tell?”

“You should have told me you hadn’t eaten.”

I forgot in the weirdness of him asking me to come with him. “It’s no big deal, I’ll eat when we get home.”

He carefully laid his brush across the can of finish and retrieved a small cooler from under the table he was working on. “I have some apples and carrots you could snack on.”

“Thanks,” I said as I took the cooler. I peered inside and grabbed a Fuji apple. I sat on the middle step leading up to the tub and took a large bite of the juicy red apple. I watched my husband with his steady hand as he applied perfectly even strokes of finish on the cabinet door. It was his art.

“So, Abby and Cheyenne suggested that we start to tell people about Madeline before she arrives. I think that it’s a good course of action. What do you think?”

He briefly looked at me between strokes. I wasn’t sure how to read him. “I’ve been thinking about that, too.”

“The cat may be out of the bag already, depending on who you’re working with to get her into summer school.”

“I don’t think so. I’m working directly with the principal. He kind of owes me.”

“Owes you?”

“He decided he could knock out a wall in his house himself. Let’s just say he knocked out a structural beam.”

“Ouch. I’m surprised Camille didn’t kill Stan for that.”

“I think she was about to. That’s why he owes me.”

I shook my head. Stan Johnson was the kindest of men. He was extremely book-smart, but lacked common sense. That might be why he did so well with junior high students.

“I’m sure my mom would be happy to spread the word. She’s been dying to tell someone the news.”

“Your mom is probably the best way to go.”

“I’ll let you tell her. She’ll be thrilled.”

He shook his head and grinned.

I took another large bite and savored the taste. It was delicious, but it was only going to tide me over for so long. I finished the apple in no time flat as Blake worked away.

“You know, Abby asked me something else tonight.”

“What’s that?” Blake asked absentmindedly.

“She asked why we’ve stayed together.”

He slowly looked up at me. “And how did you answer her?”

“I told her you have some mad domestic skills.” I grinned wickedly.

He smirked in return.

“But, seriously. Why have you stayed with me?”

“You know how I feel about you,” he said quickly and almost defensively.

“I do know. But why do you love me?”

“Jessica.” He waved his free hand.

“You don’t know?”

“Of course I do. It’s just hard to put into words.”

“Try.”

He set his brush down and looked at me sternly, but I could tell he wasn’t upset. “Now I know why I’ve never brought you to a job site.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Do you want me to go somewhere else?”

“No.” He paused and thought for a moment.

I hummed the Jeopardy think music to his amusement and annoyance. I could tell he didn’t know whether he should smile or smirk at me. “Bzzz. Your thirty seconds are up.”

“Jessica, I love you because you’ve never tried to change me.”

I leaned back against the steps, taken aback by that answer. “Hmm…”

“What?”

“It’s not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know, maybe that you loved my body or my winning personality,” I teased.

“I love those things, too. But, I appreciate that we’ve always been equal. Like if I said, I’m thinking of buying a motorcycle, you wouldn’t get bent out of shape or tell me I couldn’t. You’d ask what kind.”

“So what kind of motorcycle are you looking at buying?”

“A Harley,” he said with a smile.

“Nice.”

“See?”

“Blake, what if we need some things to change?”

“Jessica, I know things need to change. I know I need to make some changes. I just appreciate the fact that you let me come to that determination on my own. That you’ve never nagged me.”

“I need to make some changes, too,” I said quietly.

“As long as we do it together, that’s all that matters to me.”