Chapter Twenty-Two

 

You’ve never seen anyone so excited to open a checking account or order checks. Patty, my personal banker, kept giving me odd looks like maybe I should seek professional help. Little did she know, I had. My therapist was in Evergreen, a good half an hour from there. I wasn’t dumb enough to see someone in this town. And I didn’t care what Patty thought. Ordering checks was major progress in my marriage.

Not a cure-all—I decided there wasn’t such a thing—but definitely a step in the right direction.

That night after work we took Maddie to the movies to see some teen beach movie that I wished I could un-see, and after we mapped out a budget as I sat up against him in his arms on the couch. We decided to each keep our own accounts, but our new account would pay for all of our household expenses, including the costs of raising a child, aka Maddie.

“Speaking of Maddie, have you talked to Sabrina?” I asked him.

“Unfortunately.”

Maddie was already sound asleep, thankfully. “Blake.”

“Sorry, she’s just, well, she’s herself.”

“How is her health?”

“Who knows? I think half the time she’s either lying or high.”

“Do you think she’ll change her mind about Maddie?”

“No, but even if she does, I already have a petition filed for full custody.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You already agreed she could stay with us. I didn’t think it was important.”

“You know, we need to tell her she isn’t going back.”

“We will. But before we say anything I want her to be settled here.”

“How do you think she’ll take it?”

“She seems happy here, right?” I could hear the worry in his voice.

“I think so, even with a wicked stepmother.”

He kissed my head. “You are anything but wicked.”

“I’ve been thinking about cutting my hours at the café. What do you think?”

“If that’s what you want. But what’s brought that about?”

“Well, Aaron has everything running like clockwork. And I have a feeling when Maddie starts school in the fall she’s going to need a lot of help. Then I was thinking that maybe I would join the PTA and volunteer at the school. You know, be a mom. Or at least a really good knock off of one.” I said, almost embarrassed.

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?”

“No.”

He kissed the side of my head. “I love you, Jessica.”

It was moments like those that helped me not to strangle him when he reverted back to his old ways, like he did on Father’s Day.

We had been doing so well. Family dinners every night except Sundays, which Blake designated as father-daughter days. It annoyed me that he wouldn’t come to dinner at my parents’, but I let it slide. It wasn’t fair to expect everything to be my way, though I wouldn’t have minded if he had jumped on that train.

Father’s Day dawned, and I admit I was feeling a little down about the day, or maybe a lot. It was one of those milestone days, as my therapist called it. A day I had to deal with the fact that not only was my husband a father now, but it had nothing to do with me. I tried hard all that week to be supportive of Maddie as I helped her prepare her gifts for her dad. She had drawn two pictures for him, one of him playing baseball. She did not capture how fabulous he looked in baseball pants, but I suppose that was a good thing. She also drew the cutest I heart my dad picture, complete with 3-D lettering. We found the perfect black frames that matched his office to complete them. We also purchased his favorite cologne and I helped her prepare the menu. It was bland, just like he liked it: baked chicken, asparagus, and a green salad. 

My dad wasn’t pleased to hear that I wasn’t dining with him on Father’s Day, of all days.

“She should be with her husband on his first Father’s Day,” my mom scolded him.

“I don’t see why the stubborn a—”

My mother stared him down hard before he could finish that particular thought.

I kissed his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you, Dad.”

He touched my cheek in return. “You don’t have anything to make up for.”

Church was anything but fun that day. It really hit home the fact that I sat there childless. I think every parishioner came by and offered their condolences to me. It was sweet, but I didn’t need the reminder that my arms were empty. I had already been to Carter’s grave that morning. I probably should have skipped church, but that day was about my dad, the best dad a girl could ask for. He sat there proudly with both of his girls, as he liked to call us.

So many people came by to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He was a pillar of the community, a mentor and champion of those in need. He was a believer that those that were blessed and fortunate were duty-bound to give back, whether it be in time, money, or both. But he taught me time was always the better of the two. He said anyone could write a check, but to give someone your time was truly a gift of self. That’s why we always volunteered at the pediatric ward at the hospital each Father’s Day. The whole floor was named for my father. I loved walking past the wall that held his name in big gold letters—The Davis Ryan Ward. I remember the ribbon cutting ceremony like it was yesterday, but it was five years since the hospital had been renovated.

My dad was instrumental in getting the grant and private donor money to fund the much-needed renovation and equipment. Merryton General may have been small, but it offered world-class care. I had found myself a patient there more often than I would have liked or ever imagined.

My poor dad had tried his best to find a solution to my fertility problem. I think he did more research trying to help me than he did in all his years of medical school. We tried different diets and hormone shots right after conception. You name it, we tried it. I think my dad felt like he failed me, as weird as it sounds. He had gone above and beyond. My body was just one of those medical mysteries.

My dad and I walked hand in hand down the white-tiled hall that almost looked like glass, to the children’s ward. My heels and his dress shoes tapped on the gleaming tile. My dad smiled down at me.

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”

He brought our clasped hands up to his mouth and kissed my hand. “The day you were born was the best day of my life.”

“Does mom know that?”

“She agrees. You completed us.”

I smiled with a hint of sadness.

My dad’s happy demeanor turned concerned. “That’s not to say you need a child to make a relationship complete.”

“I know what you meant. And guess what? We have a child now.”

He rested his hand on my cheek in that fatherly sort of way. “You’re a good girl, my Belle.”

“Maybe.”

“There’s no doubt. Are you still considering adoption?”

“I am.”

“And Blake?” he asked with distaste.

“He hasn’t closed the door on it.”

My dad practically growled right there in the middle of the hall.

“Dad, it’s not because he doesn’t want a baby. He’s afraid of the heartache it may cause me. He’s trying to protect me. And his own heart. He’s lost as many babies as me.”

My dad’s features softened. “I want you to be happy.”

“You and Blake have that in common.”

“I only wish he was more …” He thought for a moment, and then another moment.

“More like you?” I smiled.

He grinned. “Why not? I can’t imagine anyone loving you more than me.”

“He’s trying his best. And a lot of things he’s done are so that you wouldn’t think less of him.”

My dad narrowed his eyes.

“I’m serious. You’re not an easy person to have to follow in their footsteps or live in their shadow. Blake has tried to prove to you that he’s a good provider.”

“I’ll give him that.”

“You know, you two might get along if you gave him a chance.”

“If I ever saw him, maybe we would.”

“Maybe if you invited him to Sunday dinners he would come. Or you could come to our house. I can probably count on one hand how many times you’ve been to our place.”

He gave me that look that indicated I was right, but he wasn’t going to admit it verbally. “Let’s go put some smiles on some kids’ faces.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“That’s the only gift I need today.”

“I guess I’ll take back that new fly-fishing pole I got you.” I winked.

“Maybe Blake and I could go fishing sometime,” he said offhandedly as we continued our walk toward our destination.

“I think he’d like that.”

And that was the last we talked of my husband for the day. For the next couple of hours it was playtime.

My dad was an amateur magician, or at least he thought so. He made balloon animals and coins magically appear out of ears, but mostly he made the children smile and laugh, which was magical all on its own.

The most magical moment came when we entered the room of Brandon Richter, Katie’s seven-year-old younger brother. I didn’t know he was in the hospital. The town grapevine had let me down. He had fallen out of a tree and done quite the number to his little body: broken femur, cracked ribs, bruised from head to toe. He looked like he had been through a battle. He lay there still in traction, with his cute mom, Sherry, by his side. She looked tired, worn, and worried. I could only imagine how it would feel to see your son like that.

I sat next to Sherry and took her delicate hand and my dad sat at the edge of Brandon’s bed.

“I had no idea Brandon was in the hospital. I’m so sorry,” I said quietly to her.

“It just happened on Friday.”

“Do you guys need anything? You know Katie is welcome to come stay with us for a few days if you need her to.”

Her worn eyes teared up and she wrapped her light sweater more tightly around her small frame. “Your family has already done more than enough.”

I shook my head in confusion. “We have?”

She looked shocked at my confusion. “Blake didn’t tell you he hired on Tad?”

“No. I didn’t know Tad was out of work.”

“We were trying to keep it quiet. Tad had been at the same engineering firm for over ten years and then one day they come in and tell him they’re shutting down his whole department. They gave everyone one month’s severance and kicked them out the door. That was six weeks ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“We tried to keep it from the kids. We didn’t want them to worry, but Katie overheard us and she told your daughter.”

It was weird to hear her refer to Maddie as my daughter, but I didn’t correct her.

“She told your husband and Blake offered Tad some work while he looked for another electrical engineer position. It’s been a live saver. But now this,” she whispered lower.

“Do you have insurance?” I asked, knowing it was a nosey question.

“Yes, but the deductible is killer.”

I squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry, it will work out. And I’m sure an arrangement can be made to pay the hospital.”

Tears leaked out of her pale blue eyes. “I’m just trying to be thankful my son’s alive and going to recover.”

“That’s definitely something to be thankful for.”

We both turned to my dad and Brandon, who was smiling from head to toe. My dad had just dazzled him with a card trick. I sure did love that man. I also found my heart swelling with pride for my husband. I loved the quiet way he helped people. Heck, he didn’t even tell me. He was a good man.

A good man that needed a kick once in a while, but a good man all the same.

I came home late that afternoon. I promised Maddie I would help her get dinner ready. We had baked the cake the day before and covered it, hiding it in the back of the refrigerator. I was still worried about it, but Maddie was sure her dad was going to love it. I was just hoping that he would put on a good show.

Blake and Maddie had spent the day biking again. It was Blake’s favorite pastime and it was Father’s Day. Still weird for me. It was especially weird as I tried to pick out a card for him. They didn’t really make cards that fit our situation. Most of them said things like “to the father of my children” or “our children are so lucky to call you dad.” They didn’t make anything that said, “so you knocked up my old roommate and wow you’ve turned out to be a great dad to your baby mama’s kid.” I would have even taken one that said, “thanks for making me a stepmother.” I really needed to contact Hallmark with my ideas. I settled for a blank card and wrote my own thoughts and impressions down. All joking aside, he was turning out to be a very attentive and loving father. Not that I’d had any doubt. It was just such an odd circumstance. But being the smart aleck I sometimes could be, I did add in the whole “thanks for making me a stepmom” in the postscript.

The twosome came home dirty and tired and both headed for their respective bathrooms. So I made dinner by myself. While the chicken was baking and the asparagus steaming, I set the table and arranged the gifts and cards in the middle of our long table. This was so weird for me. I tried my best to keep my feelings out of it and remember it was Blake’s day.

Not surprisingly, Blake came down first. He met me in the kitchen as I tossed the salad. I dropped the tongs and turned to greet him. I expected him to look happy, but he looked worn.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just tired.”

I slid my arms up his tight chest and around his neck.

That garnered a small smile from him.

“Happy Father’s Day,” I whispered, half-choked.

“Thanks, Jess.” He bent his head down and brushed my lips with his own. “Is dinner almost done?”

“Yes.”

He released me. “Good, I’m starving.” He headed for the refrigerator to get some water.

I turned back to tossing the salad. “By the way, I talked to Sherry Richter at the hospital today.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve done a good thing there.”

“I needed the extra help and he needed a job.”

I looked over my shoulder at him leaning against the dark granite countertop. “Regardless, they’re really grateful, especially now with Brandon being injured. I was thinking maybe I could do a bake sale or something to help cover the costs. What do you think?”

He shrugged his shoulders in that you do what you think is best way.

“It’s always so nice to talk to you.”

“Sorry, I’m beat.”

“Why don’t you sit down? Dinner will be done in a few minutes.”

Without delay, he took his seat at the head of the table.

Maddie joined us a few minutes later with wet hair and in her pajamas, no less. I couldn’t blame her. I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her head. “Did you have fun today?”

“Uh … kind of.”

I looked between her and Blake and neither said a word, but they were both acting off. There seemed to be a story there, but it didn’t feel like the moment to press for details.

I handed Maddie the glass salad bowl. “Will you put this on the table, honey?”

Without a word she grabbed the bowl and set it in front of her dad, then took her seat next to him. She was definitely out of sorts. She was usually much more talkative.

I joined them with chicken and asparagus in hand. I had also made a white sauce to add some flavor for Maddie and me. I figured we all didn’t need to suffer for Blake’s lack of taste.

I joined the brooding pair and looked between the two. Maybe they needed a nap. Or to go to bed for the night, I thought. It probably would have been a good suggestion to make, but we trudged forward.

“Well, dig in,” I said cheerily.

They both looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“Am I missing something?”

“No,” they both muttered.

I raised my eyebrow at both of them. I guess they took that as their cue and began to fill their plates.

“I talked to Katie’s mom, and we are going to pick her up from school this week,” I informed Maddie.

I received a small grin with that piece of information.

“Think of some things you girls would like to do in the afternoons.”

“Okay,” she said, unusually quiet for her.

Dinner was mostly a silent affair. I kept trying to bring up different topics. Everything from Isabelle yelling at Connor in the middle of the pastor’s sermon to Veronica Riley’s wardrobe malfunction at church. Let’s just say if you’re going to wear a see-through shirt, you better make sure your bra is fully functioning. We all saw more of Veronica than we ever needed to. My comical stories were met with a dull reception. So I gave up and ate quickly.

Blake got up to take his plate and glass when he was done.

“That’s not how it works today.”

He sat back down, albeit not happy about it.

“Maddie, do you want to give your dad his gifts?”

She perked up some. She reached over and grabbed the gift bag proclaiming Blake “Best Dad” that contained her framed works of art and eagerly handed it to him.

I was hoping he would have livened up, but he looked uncomfortable. He didn’t like being the center of attention. I almost kicked him under the table. I should have prepped him, I thought.

Blake carefully removed the tissue paper and pulled out each frame and studied them. I could see in his eyes he was touched, but true to himself, he didn’t give a lot of outward clues that he really did like the thoughtful gift.

“Thank you, Madeline,” he said dryly.

Her countenance screamed disappointment.

“Isn’t she quite the artist?” I threw out there to try and help the sinking ship.

Blake nodded as he stared at the pictures.

I decided to hold off on my gift and card. I would give them to him privately.

Blake abruptly stood up. I assumed he was going to take his frames up to his office, but Maddie halted that.

“Don’t leave yet. I made you dessert.”

He looked down at his daughter and paused.

I said a silent prayer that went something like, “God, if you are really there, this would be a good time to intervene.” I prayed that Blake would see the excitement in her eyes and he would do the right thing. No such luck.

“I’m full and—”

He didn’t get to finish his stupid, thoughtless sentence. Maddie burst into tears and ran to her room.

I stood up and glared at my husband. He deserved to be slapped on the back of the head. Instead I settled on saying, “You’re an idiot.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Why?”

“If you have to ask, you’re more of an idiot than I thought.” With that I left him there with his mouth wide open. I approached Maddie’s room. It was still hard for me to call it that. I hadn’t been in there since she’d arrived. I took a deep breath and opened the door and let myself into her mess of a room. Clothes were strewn about and the once tidy desk and dresser were completely covered in a variety of things, from papers to hair accessories. I bit back my “clean your room” speech and went to her curled up body on her unmade bed.

She was facing the wall, sniffling, clutching one of the white throw pillows I had purchased and crying into it.

I sat next to her and stroked her pretty dark-blond hair that had the nicest wave to it. “Honey, talk to me,” I coaxed.

“I want to go home,” she cried.

I grabbed my heart. I felt a new pain there. “Do you really?”

“No.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I rubbed her back in circle motions.

“I don’t think my dad loves me,” she said after her crying diminished.

“Sure he does.”

She turned toward me with a bright red nose and tear-stained cheeks. I wiped her soft cheek with my thumb.

“He’s never said it.”

“Your dad is an interesting person. You may have noticed, but he’s not all that great with words. And he doesn’t know women at all.”

She smiled.

“Your dad shows his love in other ways.”

“How?”

I waved around at the room, my baby’s old room. “For starters, this room,” I barely said without crying. “He spent hours making sure it was just right. He even made your headboard.”

“Really?”

“Yep. And all the time he spends with you says how much he loves you. And when he says your name his eyes light up.”

“We didn’t have a very good time today.”

“Well, not every day will be perfect, but what happened?”

“I accidentally went down the wrong trail and we got separated and he yelled at me. Then I told him I didn’t like mountain biking.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sure he yelled because he was worried.”

“I guess. He kind of freaked out.”

“You know, he’s new at all this dad stuff and he didn’t really have a dad around to teach him.”

“I just wanted him to like my pictures.”

“Oh, he did.”

“How could you tell?”

“I could see it in his eyes. And ever since you’ve been here, he’s the happiest he’s ever been.”

She sat up and hugged my middle.

I pulled her close and kissed her head.

There was a knock on her door before Blake peeked his head in.

Maddie and I both glared at him.

He looked afraid. So maybe he was smarter than I thought.

I left Maddie and walked toward my husband. “Don’t screw this up,” I cautioned.

He smirked at me, but leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Thanks for dinner and the card.”

I guess the idiot read it in my absence.

“You’re welcome. I’m going to go clean up.”

I left the pair alone and walked out to a cleared off and clean table. Seriously, you had to love a man that cleaned up, even on Father’s Day.

They talked for quite a while. In their absence I had time to clean the whole kitchen and respond to Taylor’s message on Facebook. She was asking what I thought of Easton. She obviously had feelings of mistrust there. I thought Easton was a good guy. He was definitely well-respected in the community. I didn't know what had happened between Taylor and him, but I liked him.

The father-daughter duo emerged all smiles. Blake’s arm was around her and she was looking up at him adoringly.

“Time for cake,” she announced.

It was music to my ears. I needed some chocolate. Navigating these new waters was rough.