All in a Day’s Work
Kenna
I should have resisted him this morning. Now all those bitter feelings I sent down the drain are back at the forefront. Thanks to that selfish bastard, I’m left with an ache that he was too quick to fulfill, putting me in a bad mood. What’s more, since he is working late tonight, we certainly won’t be revisiting our earlier kitchen scene. This calls for a stop to the store for batteries.
I am so tense, my body crying out in need of release. As a result, B.O.B.—my battery-operated boyfriend—will need to come to the rescue tonight.
Once I get settled into my day, I easily become absorbed in the numbers before me. When you are in accounting, you see everything in black and red, positives and negatives. Math is math; numbers add, subtract, multiply, and divide. One plus two equals three, and two plus one equals three, no matter which way you turn it. Math never changes. People, however, do.
Their positions change, sometimes causing emotional changes. Can Jake and I survive the changes concerning our future?
My colleague, Chad, enters my office, bringing me out of my thoughts, looking sharp in his gray suit and blue shirt. He is tall, well over six-feet, and well-built, reminding me of Ryder in a lot of ways. His chocolate brown hair always has that finger-run-through, spiked style. His crystal blue eyes draw you in with their depths, like being lost in the ocean sea. Yes, he is a fine piece of man meat.
“Hello, beautiful,” he greets.
I smile. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Absolutely wonderful since you’re wearing green today, my favorite color.” He smiles a devilish grin. “Some of us are going out for drinks Friday night; care to join?”
Though Chad is a flirt, he has a girlfriend, who I met last spring at the company picnic. They live together, and though she is a bit of a nag, he loves her, saying she makes him laugh and tolerates his overly flirtatious behavior.
“Sorry, I have plans. Maybe next time?”
“Oh, I see.” He chuckles. “Your man returns, and now it’s all work and no play.”
“Are you seriously mocking me right now?”
“Would I do that?” He feigns an innocent look. “And if I am, will that change your mind?”
Now I am laughing. “No, sorry, Friday is girls’ night. Next time, though, I’ll be there.”
With a grin that screams trouble with a capitol T, he says, “I plan to hold you to that, Kenna. And I expect you to wear green; it brings out those gorgeous eyes.”
He leaves as my desk phone rings, giving me no opportunity to reply. Chad is known to be a flirt, so I try not to take too much stock in his compliments or desire for me to go out. He has never been so brazen with me before, though.
I went out with everyone from work a couple of times during Jake’s last deployment. Going home afterward to an empty house was just too much.
I find it harder to send him off and count down for homecomings. It’s hard when I see wives welcoming their men home after they have behaved like whores for the entire deployment. They have no respect for their vows, the sacrifice their men make, or the damage they cause their relationships.
Yes, I will admit I’m mostly jealous. After all, I don’t get the same updates they do since I’m just a girlfriend. I will never get to hold the title of wife, a title they carry with no regard for what it means.
I would treasure a man who would love me enough to commit his life to be my partner, my lover, my confidant, a man who would be proud to share a home, a life, and his last name with me. They have that and stomp all over it, while I can only fantasize.
The workday passes quickly, and I soon find myself pulling up to the garage, parking my red Mazda RX8 beside Dina’s Mustang.
That girl seriously loves her cars fast and with a whole lot of flash. She has a passion for both old Hot Rods and new loaded machines. Me? I’m a girl who wants a sleek look, smooth ride, and a growl that echoes out of the exhaust. The comfort in all the amenities of a newer car keeps me happy. The escape of a good drive steadies my heart, calms my nerves, and speaks to my soul. To be lost on the pavement, with the hum of my engine surrounding me, brings clarity throughout my body and mind.
Stepping out of my car, I begin to feel anxious about seeing Jake. It wasn’t right or respectful to my relationship with him to leave the way I did this morning. We have been together long enough that I should be able to tell him how I feel.
But what I feel is the problem.
I want to be married. I want to have the ring, the dress, the name, and the white picket fence, dammit. For so long, I thought this would be enough. However, thinking of being in our thirties, forties, and fifties with no legitimate commitment bothers me in a way it never did before.
Dina greets me, her smile and happiness always infectious. Immediately, the tension leaves me, and I am genuinely happy to be here.
Jake comes around to the lobby with a look of intense compunction. He wraps his arms around me, content to embrace me, his face buried in my hair.
“I’m sorry about this morning, angel, and the last few weeks. I just have so much going on.” His arms tighten around me. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear.
His remorse for the distance between us pulls at my heart, bringing tears to my eyes. Rather than speak, I cup his face in my hands, pulling him in for a kiss, letting my lips and tongue speak for me.
He brings his hands down to cup my ass, giving a gentle squeeze, and I moan in pleasure. I want to be connected to Jake as one. This is one of those times I wish we weren’t in public.
Brought out of our moment by the sound of Ryder clearing his throat, we gently pull apart.
“You two need a minute or a room?” he asks jokingly, Dina giggling beside him.
Jake and I both laugh, relief washing over me as I enjoy this time with my man and our friends.
Dina spreads out the Chinese take-out containers as we all get comfortable to eat in the lobby. We have done this many times now since the boys have been putting in so much time at the shop in Brayden’s absence. It’s easy to fall quickly into our regular banter.
***
Jake
Seeing Kenna relaxed brings a peace to my heart. We have had a rough few weeks with the distance between us, but having her here at the shop, hanging out with my childhood best friend, makes me smile.
When we first met, she immediately brought me into her group of friends. In Wilmington, she made sure we had friends we could both hang out with. Therefore, having her get along with the only other person who knows my history means a lot. Dina and her becoming friends is the icing on the cake.
Harrison finally comes out from under the hood of the 1970 Plymouth Barracuda to join us.
“Hey, Dina, Kenna, looking beautiful as always,” he greets them as he winks at me and Ryder.
“Dude, really? In my face, you’re gonna flirt with my woman?” I laugh.
“I’m not flirting. I’m speaking the truth. Kenna is beautiful as always. Put a ring on that finger and you won’t have to be so uptight.” Harrison smirks. He’s a button pusher.
“Ha ha. I’ll get right on it,” I respond as my chest tightens so much I feel like I can’t breathe. He doesn’t know what I feel inside, and I’m not about to tell a soul.
“You’ve had years, Jake. I wouldn’t say you’re right on it,” Dina chimes in sarcastically.
Kenna has stopped eating, swirling her food around. With her head dropped, I can’t tell what she’s thinking. I don’t know what to say, thankful when Ryder changes the subject.
The ring is mere feet away in his safe. The thought of it makes me nauseous. Just when I feel like I can get back on track, I get derailed.
Kenna and I are sitting on the couch in the lobby. I pull her closer to me, keeping my arm around her, both to claim her and to find my own security in having her by my side.
Leaning over, I whisper in her ear, “I love you, angel.”
She looks up at me, and I see her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Damn, this is not good. She wants the ring, the wedding, the marriage, the happily ever after. It’s written all over her face, clear as a sunny day.
Before I can compile a coherent thought, Kenna excuses herself to every woman’s hideaway—the bathroom.
“Thanks a lot for bringing up the lack of a ring on her finger. Now she’s upset, and I don’t know what the hell to do, dammit,” I gripe as I begin cleaning up our plates. “Ryder, I can’t stay tonight. Sorry, man, but I need to have some time with her. Things have been crazy since I got back.”
“You need in the safe?” Ryder asks.
“No, I don’t think I’ll ever need it with the way I’ve been feeling. Just drop it right now, okay? Kenna and I need some time to be back to Jake and Kenna, the way it’s always been.”
“What if the way it’s always been isn’t enough anymore?” Dina questions, fury in her eyes. I know the two of them have become close. I also know Dina is big on protecting the people closest to her.
Has Kenna said something to Dina?
I don’t get a chance to ask her, because Kenna returns, looking exhausted and heartbroken.
In the end, what goes on between Kenna and I is our business, not anyone else’s.
“I’m not staying late tonight, after all,” I tell her as I pull her to me. “I’ll meet you at home, angel.”
She nods then makes her way over to hug Harrison and Ryder goodbye. When she and Dina hug a few seconds longer than the others, I can tell they are whispering to each other. What has Kenna shared with Dina?
“I have to put my tools up and clean up, but then I’ll be home,” I tell Kenna as I walk her out to her car.
“Take your time. I need to go for a drive. I’ll see ya later,” she says, not even looking at me as she climbs into her little sports car.
This isn’t good. For as long as I can remember, when Kenna needs to make big decisions, clear her mind, or think things through, she goes for a drive. And she is known to have a lead foot. I lost count of the speeding tickets over the years.
They don’t make cars like they used to. They are all fiberglass and plastic now, instead of the heavier sheet metals of the good ol’ days. I always worry when she is in that death trap, but knowing I am the reason she is off contemplating her life on the highway, it eats at me.
Of course, thinking of what will happen when we are home alone worries me, too. Kenna and I have never been in such an uncomfortable spot before. I don’t know how to make it right.