“Listen,” Paige said, rushing to explain. “I know you can’t handle anything else, and I totally get that, but I have to tell you everything. It’s eating me up inside, and I can’t sleep. I tried calling you, but you weren’t picking up, and I got worried that maybe something happened to you.”
“Sorry,” I said. “Things have just been busy. With my daughter.”
I watched her eyes light up with joy before she drew a deep breath in through her lips. “Congratulations. I have to say, I’m relieved.”
“I figured you would be.”
“Zach. I need you to understand what brought me to Brookings in the first place. I didn’t lie to you when I said it was work, and I didn’t lie to you when I said I researched people. I just didn’t give you more details because—”
I held up my hand to stop her. I wanted answers, but right now, I was so fucking glad she was standing on my porch. I wrapped my arms around her and drew her into me. I could feel her tense up at first, but then she slid her arms around my neck and patted my back.
“We’ll talk later,” I said. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
She stopped patting my back, and Paige’s nails lightly scratched me. I pulled back from her and smiled as I looked into her eyes. She looked just as relieved as I felt. I was so glad we were both together again.
Then my attention turned toward Blithe, and I could see the confusion pouring over her face. She was standing on the stairs just like I’d asked, her curly black hair a mess as she clung to her stuffed rabbit.
“Would you like to meet a friend of mine?” I asked.
She nodded her head, and I took Paige’s hand to escort her into the apartment. I introduced Paige to my daughter and watched as her eyes darted between me and the girl. Her smile was wide, and her eyes twinkled with joy as she slowly approached the steps. Blithe scooted up a few steps to get away from her.
“Hey there. I’m Paige. What’s your name?”
Blithe looked at me tentatively, like she looked to her mother the first time we met. So, I did exactly what Marlie did that day. I nodded at her to let her know she was all right.
“Blithe,” she said.
“That’s a beautiful name, Blithe. Tell me, do you have plans for today?”
“The beach,” she said. “I like throwing sea shells.”
Paige looked back at me with a huge grin on her face. “That sounds like so much fun. I hope you have a good time.”
“You wanna come?”
I was shocked at Blithe’s question, and I could tell Paige was, too.
“I mean, if it’s okay with your father,” Paige said.
“If it’s okay with Blithe, it’s okay with me,” I said.
The three of us packed up and got into my car. The next thing on my list was getting a car that was much safer than what I had, but for now, it worked.
I buckled Blithe into her car seat before Paige and I climbed in, and we set off for the beach while Blithe rattled off all the things she was going to do. She talked about digging holes and kicking the waves and throwing the sea shells back into the ocean.
She was ecstatic to be going, and I was ecstatic to be taking her.
Blithe went running onto the beach, and Paige stuck next to me. I watched as my daughter dipped right into the sand, digging into it with her hands as the waves washed against her legs. It was the biggest I’d seen Blithe smile since she came to live with me, and I stood on the edge of the wet sand and watched her with a protective eye.
“Will you let me tell you?” Paige asked.
I looked down at her quickly before I crossed my arms across my chest. “How much or how little you want to share is fine with me.”
“I’m a private investigator. Or I was.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I worked for a small company out of Seattle that researched various things. Our clientele was mostly spouses who thought their husbands and wives were cheating, but sometimes, we got actual criminal cases tossed at us.”
“No, I mean, what did you mean when you said you were?”
I watched her back stiffen before her shoulders heaved with a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is this: your father hired me to check up on you.”
I felt my blood run cold as Paige’s eyes looked up at me.
“Only, I didn’t know that when he hired me,” she said. “When I went to his office—”
“You’ve met my father,” I said.
“Twice. I went to his office at the beginning of all this to get the information he already had, and then I went back a couple of weeks ago to give him a piece of my mind.”
“I bet he enjoyed that,” I said, snickering.
“The story he fed me was that you were stealing from his company. He didn’t want me to pin anything on you. He just wanted me to find you, watch you, and report back to him. That was the first sign that something was fishy. I couldn’t find proof to back up his allegations.”
“Did you at least figure out I wasn’t stealing from that fucker?” I asked.
“I did. I just couldn’t prove it. Evidence is everything in a private investigator’s job.”
“So, you got close to me to prove my innocence?” I asked.
“Not in the beginning. I got close because your father asked me to. He wanted information, and you weren’t a sociable person. So, I had to draw you out by being what you wanted to socialize with. But as pieces started falling into place, I stayed close in order to prove your innocence, yes.”
I chewed on the inside of my lip as I took in everything she was saying to me.
“When your father figured out that I was seeing through his ruse, he fired me. I headed back to Seattle the first time to report my findings, but the second time I left was because I had no other reason to stay in Brookings professionally.”
“Professionally,” I said.
“The distinction is important,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
I looked down at her, and she was unnaturally focused on the horizon. Her shoulders were pulled taut, and her body was stiff. She squinted, even though the sun wasn’t that bright, and as pieces tumbled into place, I knew what she was getting at.
“I cared about what happened to you,” she said. “Even after I had all the answers and the case had come to a close, I still cared about what happened to you. About where you went from here.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you just resonated with me.”
“So, the sex wasn’t part of your scheme to get close to me?” I asked.
She giggled as tears rose to her eyes. “Not by a longshot.”
Our eyes looked out onto Blithe, who was now chucking shells into the ocean. She was giggling and running around, her legs soaked in salt water as the waves crashed and broke against the shoreline. Her curls were fluttering around in the wind.
Without thinking, I reached out to her and pulled her close to me. It just felt right.
“Zach, can I ask you something?”
“I guess,” I said.
“Have you ever wanted to reconnect with your father?”
I cracked my neck and bit my tongue, trying to gather my jumbled thoughts and form them into words. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, thinking back to all the information I’d gathered on that man. If she was a private investigator, then she probably knew I had it. But it didn’t matter anymore. Not after all this bullshit.
“Maybe for a while there, sure. But after this? After he pretended I was a criminal, hired you under false pretenses, and sent you on this wild goose chase? Hell no.”
“Why not?” she asked. “Don’t you think people can change?”
“Sure, in another fucking lifetime, but this only shows me he hasn’t. He doesn’t want to be a father, and he doesn’t give a shit about me. All he wants is the information.”
“Well, what if—”
“Are you really going to try and defend his actions?” I looked down at her and found her gazing up at me, a determination set behind her eyes as she studied my face.
“I’ve had to defend worse,” she said plainly.
“Whatever. My point is, if he wanted to reach out to me as a father, he would’ve done it himself. All he wanted was to gather information on me. Like a businessman. Nothing more.”
“Maybe so,” she said. “All I know is this: if my father ever tried to find me out of the blue just to see how I was doing, I’d want to know why.”
“Oh really?” I asked.
“Yep. My mother was a junkie, and for all I know, my father was, too. The great thing about being an adult is that I can shield myself from whatever toxicity someone like that might bring into my life. And at least I would have answers.”
Blithe turned to look at me and waved. I smiled and waved right back.
“I don’t want anything to do with him,” I said.
But her words hit hard and had my head spinning as we walked along the beach. Whoever she’d been pretending to be, her personality and intelligence were the same. Maybe she hadn’t been pretending all that much when we’d spent time together.
Blithe ran up to me and tugged on my pants. “Wanna throw shells with me?”
I quickly scooped her up into my arms. “I’d love to.”
“Wanna come?” she asked as she turned to Paige.
I watched Paige’s eyes light up with playful anticipation. “I thought you’d never ask.”