Dinner was an excruciating experience filled with small talk and too many knowing winks. Brian pulled at his tie wishing he’d talked Zack into skipping the formal dinner to hit up the buffet. He wasn’t a buffet person normally, but this was killing him.

They shared a table with a WASP-ish couple from New York, the man was a doctor, the wife… bored and looking to flirt with anything male that came near her. And right now, with the two doctors talking in code Brian was her only target.

“So, do you know where you’ll be doing your residency?” Brian heard Doctor Faulkner ask Zack. He was interested in that answer too.

“Not yet. I’ll know after I return home. We planned the wedding and honeymoon around the Match Day announcements.” That comment stopped the conversation dead. The looks that passed between the older couple spoke volumes.

“We’re still trying to decide how to hyphen our names,” Brian said as if he hadn’t noticed anything amiss. “Doctor and Mister O’Daly-Sorensen is Boo’s choice, but I like Sorensen-O’Daly.”

“Brian?” Zack warned, giving him a look that said he wasn’t amused.

“I’m sorry, Boo, honey, they made the assumption.” Brian drained his wine glass. “What we do on our honeymoon isn’t really anyone’s business. I didn’t get all dressed up to be judged.” He was on a roll now. Maybe it was all the times in the past when he thought he could have a life with someone he loved. Maybe it was the horror in Zack’s eyes. Maybe he should just shut up.

“Oh,” Zack whispered, taking in the suddenly too polite expressions on their table mate’s faces. “I guess they did.” He set his napkin on the table and stood up. “Would you like to get out of here? I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Me too,” Brian said as Zack came around to slide out his chair.

“If you’ll excuse us,” Zack said to the couple, and placing his hand on the small of Brian’s back he guided him to the exit.

Out of the confines of the dining room, Brian tugged his tie loose and shrugged out of his jacket. Zack stuffed his hands into his pants pockets and looked grim.

“You could have told them the truth,” Brian said while they waited for the elevator.

“I could have. I was going to. I don’t know why I didn’t.” Zack punched in their floor and watched the doors close without once glancing Brian’s way. “Can we not do that again? I hate making small talk with people I don’t know.”

“Works for me. I hate wearing ties.” Brian dragged the noose from around his neck and loosened the top two buttons. The elevator stopped on their floor and they walked along the long corridor in silence. Room service bustled around them delivering food to people who were smarter than them. “Want to order something or change and go raid the buffet?”

Zack smiled for the first time since they dressed for dinner. “Buffet. They have a soft serve ice cream machine in there. Nothing says first-class like an ice cream machine.” He sounded like the Zack Brian knew and loved.

“Especially when you can swirl chocolate and vanilla together,” Brian agreed, opening their door. Inside, he walked across to the balcony doors and without hesitating, he tossed the fucking tie overboard. “I’m not ever wearing one of those again. Not even to my own wedding.”

“Is there someone special?” Zack kicked off his dress shoes and had tossed his jacket and tie on the bed. He stood with his hands on his buttons staring at Brian as if he’d just made some major announcement.

Brian didn’t know what he saw in his friend’s eyes. “No,” he lied because the truth would hurt more than the lie. “I was just making a statement. I’m not even dating anyone seriously right now. A wedding isn’t on my horizon.”

“Oh.” Zack looked at his fingers as he busied himself with the buttons, almost as if he was relieved. Maybe that was Brian’s imagination. “You’d tell me though. Wouldn’t you?”

“If I was ever going to get married you’d be the first to know,” Brian laughed because it was absurd to even think about this right now with Zack still upset because his stupid damned sister had stood him up at the altar and he didn’t know why. Brian knew. Why couldn’t he just tell him? He stripped off his dress shirt and tossed it into the growing pile of dirty clothes on the floor. “Listen, Zack, about Ronnie and—”

“No, okay, I don’t want to talk about it yet.” Zack cut him off before he could confess his part in this whole mess. “I mean, I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best, you know. I was having second thoughts anyway. She didn’t want to leave town. I don’t know where I’m going to end up for the next few years. It could be anywhere in the country. I didn’t want to get married just to end up living apart. So… maybe… maybe she decided she’d rather just move on now before, you know— divorce.”

Brian closed his eyes and tried so hard not to tell the man that Veronica was only marrying him for his money. She wouldn’t have cared where Zack lived as long as she got access to his bank account. “She’s not that kind of person, Zack, you have to know that. Ronnie… Ronnie…” he couldn’t find a suitable kind word for his sister. He shrugged. “I don’t know what else to say about it. Maybe you dodged a bullet. And yeah, let’s just drop it, okay. I don’t want to fight.”

“I didn’t think we were fighting.” Zack pulled out a pair of jeans and paired them with one of the polo shirts they’d picked out that afternoon. He looked nice. Not as dressed up and polished as nicely as he had been before. But not his usually rumpled self either. Something in between.

“You need smaller jeans. Those hang on you.” Instead of telling his friend, he looked nice Brian went for the critique. He could tell Zack had taken it as criticism. His expression grew pinched. His lips drew tight. “I mean, the weight loss. I can tell. You look good. I just… the baggy jeans… I’ll shut up now.”

Zack laughed and when he finally met Brian’s eye, he had a real smile for him. “Thanks. I, uh, it’s something… Ronnie was always telling me I needed to lose weight. I guess maybe… sometimes it bothers me.”

“You’re not fat.” Brian wished his fucking sister hadn’t set her sights on Zack. “You were never fat. You’re a big guy. You’re never going to be thin. I wish you knew just how handsome you are and… and my sister is a bitch, Zack. She was born that way. Nothing pleases her. Nothing. She had to have everything her way or she’d throw the biggest damned tantrum. Fucking hell, man, she’s not a happy person. I still don’t see what you saw in her and I grew up with her.”

Zack slipped his feet into the beat-up loafers he wore all the time and turned his back on Brian while he dressed in shorts and a nicer t-shirt than he would have worn if Zack hadn’t set the bar. He sighed because, yeah, he was a dick and being dickish even when he hadn’t meant to.

“I don’t know what I saw in her either,” Zach said, surprising him just before he walked away leaving Brian alone in the room.

* * * * *

Zack caught up with Brian at the bar on the pool deck a few hours after walking out on him. Brian had a beer and was talking to a guy wearing nothing but a Speedo and a smile. He seemed to be hanging on every word Brian said.

“Hey.” Zack hoped he wasn’t interrupting anything. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” The guy looked him up and down and scowled. Getting the vibe that he really wasn’t welcome, Zack stepped back.

“Hey, babe, this is… what was your name?” Brian draped his arm around Zack’s shoulders in a way they’d always done. The other guy shot Zack a filthy look. “Larry?”

“Gary! Anyway, nice to meet you, Brian. I’ll let you get back to your friend,” the suddenly not very friendly Gary said forcing a smile. “Maybe later.”

“Maybe. See ya around.” Brian’s words were a bit slurred. Brian didn’t drink much, certainly not enough to get drunk. That wasn’t the Brian he’d known before he moved away. This Brian apparently drank so much that he didn’t notice he was being hit on.

“I think he was hitting on me,” Brian said as if he’d read Zack’s mind. He turned a wicked smile up to Zack and Zack damn near went weak in the knees. “He was cute too.”

“Is this you saying, ‘get lost, Zack’?” Little flutters of something oily wanted to sprout wings and fly from his mouth. Jealous, oily, mean words that he’d never be able to take back.

“Nah, babe, you’re hotter’n him.” Brian winked at him before he laughed. “Anyway, you want a beer? Or something with a little umbrella in it?”

“Are you sure it’s okay to drink?” Zack tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He failed.

“You’re a big boy, as long as you’re not turning into an alcoholic, do what you want.” Brian lost the flirty tone of voice and dropped his arm from around Zack’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole. I guess I wasn’t expecting to find you almost plastered to a mostly naked…” he shut up because he was making it worse and he knew it. “I’m sorry.”

“Aw, babe, you’re jealous,” Brian smiled at him again, his green eyes sparkling with laughter. “I like you jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” Zack took the beer he hadn’t seen Brian order. “Why would I be jealous? It’s not like you would have ever entertained the idea of hooking up with him.”

“He had a great ass.” Some of the sparkle gone from Brian’s eyes now. “Yeah, jealous isn’t pretty on you. Neither is pettiness.”

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair,” Zack argued, following Brian as he wove through what seemed like throngs of hard bodied men in swimsuits. “Oh hell, there’s a lot of men out here… dancing together.” Some of what they were doing on the dance floor could hardly be called dancing.

“Thank you Captain Obvious, I hadn’t noticed,” Brian said, anger in his voice as he walked away from Zack. Zack hurried to catch up. Grabbing him by his elbow, he forced Brian to turn to face him.

“That’s not what I meant.” Zack pulled his friend closer because the music here was so loud he had to shout to be heard. Brian wrapped one arm around his neck and looked up the inch or so waiting for him to shout again. “I don’t know what I meant.”

“You’re being an ass and a dick and you’re jealous as fuck, maybe a bit homophobic, that’s what you meant,” Brian shouted in his ear as they moved together. Zack wrapped his free arm around Brian’s waist and dangled his beer over Brian’s shoulder. Brian did the same. The crowd moved around them as they argued.

“I am not homophobic. I was just surprised is all. I don’t care that there are dudes dancing together.” Zack lowered his mouth so he didn’t have to shout in Brian’s ear. Brian made a sound between a snort and a gasp in his ear. The music changed and they stayed like that, holding on to each other, not exactly arguing anymore, but not letting go either.

He didn’t notice that the crowd noise died down. Or that he and Brian stood belly to belly, moving slowly to the music. He could only hear his heart pounding in his ears. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he was jealous as fuck. He dragged his lips along Brian’s jaw feeling his late evening stubble scrape enough to know this was Brian and not Ronnie. He angled his head so their noses didn’t hit and breathed in the scent of Brian’s warm breath.

He closed his eyes and let the music flow over him. Brian gently licked his lips and this time Zack was the one doing the gasping. He stopped moving and fell into the kiss. The lush, sweet taste of Brian in his mouth as their lips met and parted made him weak in the knees. Brian moaned into his mouth. Zack pulled him close, wrapping his arms tight around his friend as he licked his way into Brian’s mouth. God, he was hard. Kissing Brian had him thinking things he’d never… “Let’s go back to the room,” Brian said against his lips. His body hot as fuck under Zack’s hands. His ass tight… and fucking hell, he was making out with his best friend… in public.

Zack broke the kiss. He ran his hand through his hair, not caring that it was probably standing up now. He backed away from Brian… seeing him… finally… maybe for the first time. Brian had been interested in Speedo guy. Interested enough to… holy fuck.

He left Brian standing there with the other guys. God, he’d never get the man’s expression out of his mind. He’d hurt his friend. His gay friend. He’d fucking torn Brian’s heart out and humiliated him and maybe, maybe he was a homophobe.

He ran.

He had no idea where he was going. Certainly not back to the room where he and Brian shared a bed. Maybe Brian would take Speedo guy back there now. Maybe.

Jesus.

He found a bar down on the club deck that didn’t have dance music pounding in his brain and got quietly drunk.