He heard bells. His limbs felt heavy, his mind at once at peace and a swirling mass of emotions he couldn’t comprehend. Brian seemed blissfully unaware that they’d made bells ring. His eyes fluttered closed as he slowly eased off Zack’s dick. His lips were red and swollen and glistening with— cum. Zack had come in his friend’s mouth. God, it was so good. So fucking hot. And the bells started again, just from looking at Brian.

“Fuck!” Brian jumped as he shouted, his eyes filled with terror as he looked around the suite. “Jesus, how is she calling me now? Does the woman have ESP or something?”

He was on his feet and flinging stuff off the table before Zack could recognize the ringing sound for what it really was. A phone. He hadn’t heard a phone ring since they pulled away from shore the very first night. He was pretty sure his phone hadn’t had service at all, even in port, this afternoon when he’d checked the time.

“Hey, Mama, it’s good to hear from you so soon,” Brian said breathlessly as he looked everywhere but at Zack. He seemed nervous. Or guilty. “How in the hell am I supposed to know where Ronnie is?”

Zack could hear his almost mother-in-law from across the room. She sounded frantic. Brian turned around to face Zack, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mama… listen, Mama. She’s not with Zack.” He stopped talking while his mother shouted at him again. “I know… because I’m with Zack.” Brian winced as he waited for whatever his mother would make of that. Zack heard silence on the other end. A long drawn out silence that seemed to make Brian even more nervous… or guilty.

“Mama, before you say anything… it’s not like…” he stopped talking and started pacing. Zack could hear his mother talking again, her tone was different now. Brian’s shoulders became straighter and tenser as he listened and paced. “Well, he didn’t need to be alone. I was more worried about him than I was Ronnie. She’ll turn up… oh my god, Mama. Seriously. No… I just finished giving him a blowjob so he’s… yes, I’m kidding, Mama. Well, it is his honeymoon after all. I’m starting to lose you… yes, love you too. I’ll take care of him. I swear… and… she’s gone.”

Brian still wouldn’t look at him. He held the phone toward the open balcony doors and swore under his breath. Zack climbed out of the chair, his knees wobbling like he was standing on jelly. He went to the bathroom and relieved himself. The shower came on and he jumped. He didn’t shake off the gentle hands that seemed insistent about getting him in the shower. “You’re sunburned. Let’s wash the jungle off and I’ll rub you with aloe.”

Zack turned to face his friend as he stepped under the shower. Brian looked as tired as Zack felt. The guilty look he’d worn while he was on the phone still haunted his face. “You told your mother that you just blew me.”

Brian handed Zack the shampoo and reached for the soap. He shrugged and finally met Zack’s gaze. “She thought I was being a smart ass. She’d been trying to call me for two days. I guess she was worried.”

“You didn’t tell them where you would be this week, did you?” He was starting to get the picture. Brian nodded, that guilty look coming back. “And they don’t know that you’re gay, do they?” Brian dropped his gaze to the stainless-steel floor and shook his head.

“I don’t know how to tell her,” he said as he washed his own body. Zack washed his hair and swapped shampoo for soap. They bathed and Zack turned off the water. There was no shower play this time.

“And that’s the reason you stay away?” Zack took a towel and wrapped it around Brian’s neck. Brian grabbed one and did the same for him. Zack patted his friend down, drying his body while Brian did him. Brian took a bottle of clear gel from the vanity. At first, Zack thought it was something else. He spurted a handful and shoved Zack back to lean against the wall.

“Arm.” Brian demanded and Zack held out each of his arms and legs in turn. Brian turned him around and rubbed the sticky gel on the back of his neck. “It’s not that bad. Yet. Make sure we rub you down with sunscreen tomorrow or it will be painful. You have got to be the whitest person I’ve ever seen. You need a good base tan.”

“I don’t tan. I burn then peel, then go right back to white. It’s the Scandinavian blood in me,” Zack said, fighting back a moan as Brian’s fingers worked magic on his sensitive skin. “That feels so good.” He wasn’t getting hard. He was too tired, but Brian’s hands had always felt so good on his body.

“Yeah, well, try being a ginger who works outside. My body is one big freckle.” Brian turned him again and Zack stood facing him. He gazed into Brian’s eyes and saw his soul. Zack slid his hands along Brian’s arms to clutch his elbows. Brian forgot what he was going to say and Zack kissed him. Softly. Not sexually. He grazed his lips over Brian’s and Brian kissed him back. Eyes open wide, filled with shock, that quickly turned to longing.

“Thank you,” Zack whispered, not wanting to break the kiss.

“My mouth tastes like cum,” Brian replied with a timid smile.

“It’s my cum.” Zack tried to shrug that off as Brian tried to step away. Zack pulled him back and slicked his tongue over Brian’s lips, hoping he’d open enough for Zack to taste the inside of his mouth. He did. He tasted like Brian. Maybe a little saltier than Brian usually tasted. “Thank you,” he said again.

Brian broke the kiss with a nod that seemed almost… guilty.

“Are you hungry?” Brian said instead of whatever he’d looked like he was going to say and stepped out of the shower.

“No,” Zack answered, feeling the change now. They’d moved past where they were before the phone rang. Maybe that was good. “Tired. Not enough sleep and too much excitement. I think I’m going to lie down for a while.”

Brian rinsed his toothbrush and squeezed toothpaste onto it. “That sounds like a plan. We have dinner reservations at half past eight.”

“Yeah, not going to that. Probably not going to that again this trip.” Zack towel dried his hair and hung it up before reaching for his toothbrush. He could still taste the tacos from this afternoon.

“Nap first, then late night buffet. Good plan. I cleared everything off the itinerary for tomorrow. Didn’t think you’d want a second spa trip or rock climbing. We can go for a swim or something.” Brian spit and rinsed without ever looking Zack in the eye.

“Sounds like a plan.” Zack took Brian’s place at the sink and brushed his teeth. Brian finished drying his body and dropped his towel on the floor.  He stood there naked. Zack was naked. And everything felt awkward between them. Zack glanced his way, but Brian didn’t look up. What was he supposed to say, thanks for the blowjob, good buddy? They’d been on the verge of having sex. Real sex. The phone call had made everything awkward. As if it wasn’t awkward before Zack put his dick in Brian’s mouth. “They don’t know where Ronnie is.”

Probably not the best thing to say while they were being awkward with each other. “No. It’s been three days. She’s not anywhere in town. She’s not answering her phone. Where ever she went she doesn’t seem to want to be found,” Brian replied, the guilty look coming back. Not that it had gone away since the phone call.

“Is your mom angry with me?” Zack didn’t know why that mattered. He should be more worried about Ronnie than he was. Instead, he was worried that Brian’s family thought he was to blame.

Brian stood up straight, looking slightly alarmed by the question. “No. Why would you think they’d be angry with you? She left you. Not the other way around.”

Zack finished with his teeth and combed his hair back from his face. He’d need to get it cut before he started his residency. Maybe he’d take one of the spa days before they docked in Florida and get it done. One less thing he’d have to make time for when he got back next week. He hadn’t cut it because Ronnie had told him not to. He’d lost weight because Ronnie said he needed to drop fifty pounds to fit in his tux. He dressed the way Ronnie wanted him to dress. He drove a car Ronnie had picked out. “I hate my car.”

Brian looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Well, now that you mention it, I never pictured you as the sedan kind of guy. Not that I picture you as a sports car kind of guy. I never pictured you in a tan Buick.”

“Yeah… me either.” He stood leaning over the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t recognize the man looking back. When he looked up again, Brian was gone.

It was full night when he came out of the bathroom and the lights that had been visible from their balcony were gone. Careful not to disturb today’s towel buddy, Brian had dragged the cover on the bed back, and laid down face first on the side he’d claimed. He hadn’t bothered with clothes. The only lights in the room were the dim lamps Brian had turned on earlier and the light from the bathroom.

Zack pulled the bathroom door mostly closed and turned off the lamps. He pulled down the covers on his side of the bed and lay down on his back. He was tired, but his brain was working overtime.

“Stop overthinking, it was just a blowjob,” Brian muttered, the pillow muffling his voice.

Zack sighed. It wasn’t just a blowjob and they both knew it. He sighed again and rolled onto his hip facing his friend. Brian turned his head so that Zack could make out his profile. Zack pulled the covers over his body and settled into the bed beside Brian. He dragged an extra pillow from beneath his head and hugged it to his chest, letting his hand, drape over the small of Brian’s back, almost as if he needed to touch him to know he was real.

It was Brian’s turn to sigh. He leaned up on his elbow and snatched the pillow from Zack’s arms and rolled into the pillow’s place and tucked his head into Zack’s neck. Neither of them spoke. Brian skimmed his hand over Zack’s waist, his breathing growing shallow and even.

Zack stared out past the balcony watching as the stars came out slowly. He could hear the ocean moving past the ship, rocking it gently. Brian’s hair was soft and he smelled of sunshine... and that was all Zack needed.