Time continued to pass. I rarely saw Grunt. He was still in college and working on a double master’s degree. He was interested in architecture. He still came around the motel, but he had moved the majority of his belongings out. He was living with a girl, Cindy, at her condo on the beach.
I missed his friendship, but I was happy with Grizz. I was getting tired of the motel, though. I told Grizz I was ready for something new. I really wanted to go to college. I think I was envious of Grunt’s success and happiness. I wanted to be more than Grizz’s woman. Don’t get me wrong—Grizz was still very good to me. But there was only so much I could get from a relationship. I needed a purpose.
I remembered when I was first abducted. I was only fifteen then, and had my life planned out. I knew what I wanted. I’d lost track of that in the romantic haze of Grizz’s attention. I was starting to feel that stirring of wanting something more.
Grizz detected it before I did and tried to distract me. He had Grunt design a house for us. We spent weekends driving around and looking at open land.
Did this mean he was going to give up the motel for me? Give up the gang? No. He would still continue with his activities and I would become Jan. Live in a beautiful home. Pop out a couple of kids. I was torn.
I didn’t have to dwell on it long. Something happened that took my attention away from my growing discontent. Something nobody saw coming. Something Grunt had warned me about years earlier.
It was the summer of 1978. It was a hot Tuesday night in July. Grizz had gone on one of his business trips. He was only going to be gone for two days and had actually asked me to go with him. I didn’t feel like it. I was bored and depressed and I wanted to just wallow in it by myself. And that’s just what I was doing. Lying on our bed looking at college brochures. I wanted so badly to go to college.
It was after eleven and I couldn’t sleep. Damien and Lucifer were in Moe’s room with her. I was absently stroking Gwinny’s head.
I heard our door open. That was strange. Was it Moe? Did she need something for one of the dogs? Maybe Grizz was home early. I jumped up off the bed.
Suddenly there was a large, hulking presence in front of me. It wasn’t Grizz. This man was dressed all in black and was wearing a ski mask. Before I could even register fear, he punched me right in the face and I fell back on to the bed.
He punched me hard enough to knock me out, but it didn’t. I wish it had. For two hours, he continued to torture and rape me, repeatedly. He spoke to me tauntingly the whole time in a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Grizz’s woman, huh? Let’s see if he’s going to want you after I’m done with you.”
That’s pretty much how the entire two hours went. Well, at least I can only remember two hours of it. He continued to beat me and bring me to the point of losing consciousness only to make sure I didn’t. I was so weakened by the initial punch in the face and the brutality he continued to unleash on me that I didn’t stand a chance. I couldn’t think clearly enough to come up with a plan to escape him.
Why hadn’t I locked the door? I berated myself. But I never locked the door. I never had to.
Who was at the motel? Well, Moe was, and she had my protectors locked in her room with her. Chowder had taken a rare leave from the motel to visit a sister who was dying. With Grizz gone, the pit was empty.
I was alone.
Grunt’s words from years earlier haunted me: “Just do me a favor, Kit. Stay sharp. Never let your guard down. You just never know with this kind of lifestyle what can come knocking at your door.”
Well, this guy didn’t knock. He just walked in. I’d let my guard down. I’d let myself believe that being with Grizz made me untouchable.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Moe found me the next morning. I wasn’t conscious and can only imagine her panic. She couldn’t call anyone for help. Instead, she paged everyone who had a pager. She put in her code and 911.
Blue was the first to arrive. He couldn’t call an ambulance. Even though I’d been missing for years, a public hospital was still too risky. So he called the doctor on Grizz’s payroll. I’d started to come around by the time the doctor got there. I couldn’t see anyone. Both my eyes were swollen shut. I still had all my teeth, but I required stitches to my lips and cheek. I was almost unrecognizable. My face was swollen to twice its normal size. I had bite marks all over my breasts, stomach and the inside of my thighs. I had broken ribs and a broken left wrist where I’d held up my hand to try to protect myself.
I was given enough pain medication that I was no longer feeling anything and fighting to stay awake. I don’t know how much time passed before I heard him. Grizz. He busted in the room yelling and cursing. I couldn’t see him because of my swollen eyes.
As I drifted into a painless sleep I heard him say, “God help the motherfucker who did this. He is going to suffer like no human being has ever suffered.”
I almost felt sorry for the guy. It didn’t last, though.
I didn’t know then that he’d killed my cat.