Chapter Twenty-Three
Tigger
I didn’t mean to listen at the door when Ryan and Summer were talking. But I couldn’t help it, I was waiting to see if she was going to mention me to her. As far as I know, Summer hasn’t been talking to me with her friends. Neither of them gives me anything but a passing glance and a greeting whenever they see me.
I get lucky today, thinking she’s about to mention me to Ryan, but instead I got the surprise of a lifetime when Ryan’s face lit up when Summer said she has a problem. Of course, Ryan would think that problem is an unplanned pregnancy. The girl is completely clueless and oblivious to her friend's pain and her need for her friends to be there for her right now.
That’s further proven when Ryan excitedly calls up Natalie and begs her to come down to hear the good news. Concern starts to fill me when I hear how happy Ryan is on the phone with Natalie and when Natalie shows up with a wide smile on her face and that pregnancy glow visible on her face, I know we are about to have a serious problem.
It’s common knowledge among the members here that Natalie is pregnant again, but I told Thunder -no I begged him- to tell Natalie not to share the news with Summer, but of course, the fucker probably forgot to tell her that this morning. Now I’m going to have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.
I almost go to her when I see her struggling to breathe in the hallway, but I’m only going to intervene if things get bad and she really needs me. I don’t want her to think that I think she can’t handle herself.
The moment arrives when Natalie excitedly shares her news and Summer doesn’t immediately get up from the bed to join them in their shouts and screams of joy. She instead hugs Natalie and excuses herself from the room.
When I catch the expression on her face when she exits the room, that’s the moment I know she’s going to need me and I don’t hesitate to get to my feet to follow her. I throw my door open, cracking the wood when it hits to far wall and glare at the two women who are now staring back at me in horror.
Yes, take a good look at the big pissed off biker before you.
They are lucky they aren’t men, or I’d have beat the shit out of them.
I instead focus on to my girl and comforting her. My steps falter and I almost trip and fall when I spot her on her knees on the ground, her head buried in her hands. My heart breaks a little when I see her on the ground like that. All I want is to take away that pain.
When I reach her, she comes willingly, almost like her body knows I’m here to rescue her. She turns and hugs me like her life depends on it, and I like the way her arms feel around me. More than I should. I shouldn’t covet things that aren’t mine to take, but if Summer wants me, I’ll let her have me.
I care about her. A lot. It scares me how much I care for this woman, but I know I am powerless to stop the surge of emotions that flood through me the moment I have her back in my arms. I feel a sense of completeness like this is the piece of my life that has been missing this entire time.
My moment with her is broken when her two stupid friends come to see why she ran off. Completely and utterly clueless as to why their friend is crying her heart out.
I throw them both looks of disgust when they glare at the way I’m comforting their friend.
“Hey Summer, what the fuck?” Ryan is talking to Summer, but she’s still giving me a dirty look. Like I somehow have something to do with why she ran off. Of course, the bitch thinks I knocked her friend up, and now I’m going to bail. Even if she were pregnant, I would never do that to her. Summer is too sweet of a woman for me to ever even contemplate doing that to her.
“Are you not happy for me?” Natalie sounds like a quiet, little, confused mouse and all I want to do at that moment is shout the reason at them and ask them if they are retarded or something. These two can’t be that oblivious, can they?
When they reach for her and continue to stare at the back of her head in confusion, I have my answer. They are one hundred percent clueless right now. Some friends they are to not even realize the anniversary of the worst moment of her life is coming up a week from today.
“She wants to be left alone,” I answer for her when she sniffles and hugs me tighter against her. I stroke the back of her head softly and plant a light kiss on the crown of her head.
“What the fuck would you know, asshole? Let me talk to her, we didn’t do anything wrong to her,” Natalie steps to the side so she can try and reason with Summer. She doesn’t realize she’s just making matters worse.
“Leave me alone,” I can feel the vibration of Summer’s words against my shirt when Natalie tugs on her forcefully trying to dislodge her hold on me. That only causes Summer to tighten her death grip.
“But why?” of course Ryan has to chime in. I know Ryan is closer to Summer than Natalie is, and yet she seems to be as equally clueless as Natalie. Nat I can give some credit to, she’s pregnant, so at least she has an excuse. With the excitement of another child, she probably forgot about Summer’s vulnerability right now.
“Just leave me the fuck alone. I just want to be alone right now,” now they’ve gone and done it. One looks down on the pain on Summer’s face, and my blood starts to boil.
“Doesn’t look like it,” Ryan gives me a once over and rolls her eyes. She could ruin this for me right now if she wants. Turn the focus on me so Summer won’t be so upset with them anymore, but I’m not going to allow that to happen. Not because I’m scared she’ll think of less of me, but because this isn’t the time for them to drop the mystery man bomb on her.
I gently push Summer far enough away from me that I can look down at her and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes. Her beautiful, blue eyes are red and full of tears. When she nods once, I gently lead her behind me, thinking she’s going to walk away, but pride fills me when she hugs me against her defensively. Like I’m a shield she needs and can’t live without. I want to be her protector, and I’ll protect her from anyone and anything that wishes to do her harm.
“Don’t you two get it? Her birthday is next week. Or did you two forget what next week is for Summer?” I fight to keep my voice even, even though all I want to do is punch something. I wouldn’t ever punch them, but the picnic table on our right isn’t safe right now. If I weren't so worried about scaring Summer, I’d send that thing flying across the yard.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Natalie asks when I don’t move to say anything further. Hoping -praying- that these girls are smart enough to put two and two together. But of course, they aren’t. They are going to make me say it.
“Seriously? You have the fucking nerve to ask that question. She’s your best friend guys, and you didn’t even think to ask her if she’s okay. Or did you two get so complacent with your lives here that you forgot what happened to her five years ago? I’ve held her at night while she cries, memories and nightmares of Michael assaulting her, slowly killing her on the inside,” Ryan opens her mouth, so I stop talking.
I’m the one who holds her late at night to keep the nightmares away. I’m the one who holds her when she can’t stop crying, the pain of everything she’s lost in her life quickly catching up with her. I know what haunts her, she thinks she’ll never be enough, but given a chance, I’d do everything in my power to make sure she knows that she’d always be enough for me. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but at some point this week, this budding relationship between us stopped being about the darkness and sex and has developed into something more. I care about her, I think I have the potential to love this woman, and I’ll protect her from anything, even if that means protecting her from these two bimbos she has the nerve to call her best friends.
“That asshole isn’t worth her time. Sure, he hurt her, but she’s better off without him. She’s going to get married and have a family of her own someday,” she hiccups and sniffles when Ryan says this.
I have to say I agree with that statement, but everyone heals in their own time, and it isn’t fair for Ryan to say that she should just let everything go. The one, most single tragic event in her life and her friend expects her to just let it all go and call it a day. How can anyone expect her to do that?
“Besides, what do you know about anything, asshole. You are just taking advantage of her vulnerability,” Natalie raises an eyebrow at me, and if I ever doubted that Natalie knew about my relationship with her, that doubt just died. Leave it to the two of them to assume that I’m using her vulnerability to my advantage. How dare they even suggest that.
I don’t hide my anger, allowing them to see how upset I am at their accusation. Natalie of all people should know that I am not that type of person. Sure, I’ve been an asshole in the past year, yelling at everyone and everything and fucking women over left and right, but they know when I care about someone, I give them everything I have. I don’t half-ass anything in my life, and that extends to Summer as well.
“I know more than the two of you ever will. I know she hasn’t told you her secret,” I tap lightly on Summer’s hand and take a step forward, so she’ll let me go. She lets me, staying behind me, hidden from them like I’m her protective shield. I’ll be her guard and take the brunt force of the truth gladly if it saves her the pain of having to tell these two the truth. I would’ve preferred she tell them, but I don’t need her to lose her mind over this. She’s already in a fragile enough state as it is.
“Summer is our best friend, we know everything about her. You are the one who doesn’t know shit, Tigger,” Ryan is getting angry, and that’s exactly what I want. Go ahead, get angry so I can knock you down a few pegs and off that pedestal you are sitting on.
She steps forward and doesn’t stop until she body checks me. She takes a few swings at my stomach, and I resist the urge to laugh at her. She thinks she’s hurting me, but all she’s doing is making me even more irritated.
“Oh yeah, well did she tell you that she can’t have kids? Did she tell you that Michael made her sick and she’s unable to ever have children of her own?” I can feel my entire body shaking. Rage taking over and filling my entire body. I can’t remember the last time I was this upset.
Ryan and Natalie flinch at the same time, realization dawning almost instantly as they process my words. Yes ladies, take that. She told me the truth, her one big secret, she shared the most precious piece of herself with me. Allowed me to see into her soul, a secret she’s never told another soul. I’m not proud of her pain or anything, but it makes me feel a sense of belonging that she trusted me enough with something she’s never told, anyone. I wouldn’t have told them if it wasn’t necessary either, this wasn’t my secret to share.
“You see, this is exactly why she didn’t tell you guys. Now you feel sorry for her. She wants someone to understand what she’s going through and instead you guys are giving her pitiful looks. That’s not what she wants,” the looks of pity of their faces tells me right away why she never told them. She wants a friend, someone who can understand her without looking at her like she’s broken, damaged goods, and feel sorry for her. She just needs someone who can talk her through the pain, and I will gladly be that person for her every single day as long as she needs me to be there for her.
I snort at them and clench my fists tighter, so I don’t do something I’ll regret and turn back around to face my woman. She’s hugging herself tightly, like in doing so she can protect herself from their stares.
I don’t stop until I’m in front of her and pulling her into my arms. Her ridged shoulders relax once she’s in my arms and I kiss her on the cheek comfortingly.
“Want to get out of here?” I whisper into her ear.
She hums when I kiss the side of her neck and nods.
“Summer, I’m-” Ryan starts, but Summer’s voice cuts her off. Why they are still trying to talk to her, I don’t understand. She already told them she doesn’t want to talk.
“I love you both, I really do, and Natalie I’m happy for you, really I am, but I just want to be left alone for now, okay?” I watch as they both nod slowly at her.
I admire her strength to face them after having such a giant secret revealed. I wish I were as brave as she is. I’ve been avoiding members of the club since Drag told Thunder and Dean the truth about who I am like a coward. I know I’m going to have to face the truth sooner rather than later, but for me, right now, my girl is the most important thing.
I lead her away when she sniffles again, bringing her straight over to my hog, which I start up and mount.
“Go grab a jacket and shut our doors, we need to get out of here for a while,” I shout over the noise of my bike.
She smiles at me sweetly, kisses me on the cheek, and heads off inside the clubhouse trying in vain to ignore the many people staring at us from the doorway. Apparently, the entire compound heard some of what happened.
“Don’t talk to me right now, asshole,” I glare at Thunder when he comes to stand beside me.
“What happened?” he asks, ignoring my comment.
“You want to know what the fuck happened, you stupid asshole? Remember I told you to tell Nat not to tell Summer about the baby?”
Recognition seems to dawn, and he nods slowly.
“Well, she just fucking told Summer, and now I have to pick up the broken pieces,” he doesn’t need to know the reason why I have to take care of her now. That’s enough for him.
Shame fills his eyes when he stares back at me.
“Get the fuck away from me,” I growl at him, and he wisely takes a step back and goes back inside when he sees me ready to dismount. The last thing he wants to do is fight me right now. I don’t care that his pregnant wife is standing a few feet away, I’ll kick his fucking ass, and I won’t care if Drag kicks me out of the club for beating up my VP. He’d deserve it for being an inconsiderate asshole. I told him it was imperative she not tell Summer right now.
Summer slowly makes her way back outside, keeping her head down the entire time and throwing on her sunglasses to hide her red, tearstained face from the onlookers.
Once she mounts behind me, I take off, leaving behind a cloud of dust and not caring that my family is standing behind us watching. As far as I’m concerned, Summer is the only family I have right now. She’s the most important thing. I know we’ll come back, but I won’t be returning the same man. Today, I will tell Summer the truth about my past. I may not be ready to tell her I’m her mystery man yet, but I will tell her my real name and let the chips fall where they may. She told me her secret, time I told her mine.