Chapter Three
Summer
All I ever do is work. Natalie and Ryan are continually giving me a hard time about it, but what else is there for me to do out here? Natalie married a biker and Ryan is always with her choice man of the moment. Where does that leave me? I pretend on most days that everything is great, but I know those two see right through me.
“I think you need a little more excitement in your life, Summer,” I groan when Natalie and Ryan walk into my living room. I just know where this is going to go.
Ryan is wearing a short mini dress and Natalie has on a tube top and short shorts. They are overdressed for a Friday night spent sitting in my living room watching chick flicks.
“We want to take you out,” Natalie says, further confirming my suspicion.
“Now, before you say no, we aren’t going to accept no for an answer. We’ve been invited to a new club opening, and you need a night out, Summer. All you do is work and sleep. Where’s the girl I once knew? What happened to her?”
I don’t know why Ryan asks me that, she knows exactly what happened to me. The pain of it has me rubbing my chest involuntarily.
“Don’t let him win, Summer. You’ve been running from this for far too long and allowing it to prevent you from moving on. I know it isn’t easy, but don’t you just want to forget for one night? Just this one time, do it for us,” as much as I hate to admit it, Ryan is right. By not living my life, Michael continues to win.
I sigh as I step away from my closed door and off towards my bedroom.
“Help me pick out an outfit,” they whoop in victory, and I cringe when I reach the doorway to my bedroom.
They step into the room after me and immediately start to rummage through my closet for something for me to wear. I don’t bother to help them, I don’t think they would approve if I told them I just want to wear my scrubs out to the club tonight.
“This is just a one-time thing,” I warn them, holding my finger up in the air when they turn with a couple of outfits in their hands.
“We’ll take it for now,” I know that gleam in Ryan’s eyes, this isn’t going to be the only time but she’s right I need a night out. So for once, I’m going to let them have their fun.
A night to just let everything go.
“Just promise us one thing,” Ryan sets down the dresses next to me and starts to lay them out for me to look at. I stand off to the side so I can better look.
“What?” I finally ask when they both turn to face me and cross their arms over their chests.
“Meet a man, have one night where you just let everything go and do whatever feels right. Tomorrow you can go back to being boring old Summer,” Ryan begs me, coming to stand before me and grabbing my hands in hers. She squeezes them, her green eyes pleading with me to let everything go.
“I’ll think about it,” I answer, looking away from her. She’s making me incredibly uncomfortable right now.
I step around her and move over to the bed to have a look at their selections for this evening. I turn back to the closet and bite my lip, looking at my ripped jeans and flannel shirts, tempted to just grab one of those and throw it on. But they are right, I need to forget for one night. Do something I haven’t done in years, not since right after Michael abandoned me.
Let go.
Be free.
I used to fuck men all the time. Just have raw, no strings attached sex, but that was before I came here and got myself a good job and just stopped trying to pretend I was fine. I can do that again, it was the closest to alive I’ve felt in years.
“That one,” I grab it and pull it up.
The dress still has the original tag on it. I bought this dress on a whim three years ago and never wore it. I pull off my clothes, not caring that my friends are watching me and pull the dress on and step over to the mirror so I can adjust it.
I smooth my hand down my right arm, fingering the tattoos I have there. I lost myself for a while after we left Port Angeles and it took me a while to realize I needed to change my look. The first thing I did was get a tattoo. One turned into two, two turned into seven, and now my entire right arm and both my legs have tattoos on them.
Then I decided I needed pain, so what do you think I did? I went out and got my nipples pierced. Yeah, I flew off the deep end, but it was worth it. Now that I think about it, it might be time to get some more tattoos done, change more of myself to help me forget that poor, broken eighteen-year-old I used to be.
I pull my hand away from my arm and adjust the bottom of the dress, so it fits around my ass and the sleeves, so my outfit looks perfect.
“What do you think?” I turn to ask the girls, only to find them gaping at me. “What?” I ask them innocently turning back to the mirror and looking over the dress and turning around so I can see the back. It looks fine to me.
The dress is baby blue and matches my eyes. It’s a mini dress that barely covers my ass and dips extra low in the front, almost so much that my girls spill out. I love the way the fabric rubs against my sensitive nipples. I haven’t felt that in a long time and it causes me to squeeze my thighs together.
I don’t want the girls to laugh at me, so I turn to the side and examine the cutouts in the back of the dress that extends all the way down the length of the dress and end right above my ass. I think it looks hot and would look perfect with my black platform heels.
I ignore my friends, who by the way are being rude by continuing to stare, and step over to my closet and pull out the shoes I’m looking for and pull them on.
I step back over to my mirror and do one full circle, looking at my two friends in the mirror behind me. They are still standing there.
Fine, I can ignore them too. Doesn’t matter what they say anyway, they aren’t going to talk me out of wearing this outfit. I haven’t felt this free in a long time.
I step into my bathroom and comb my hair out, wearing it down for the first time in months and thanking the gods above that I decided to get my hair fixed last week with a new haircut, so my blonde hair is a little shorter but still sexy as hell. I leave it wild, hanging down around my shoulders, and when I feel like I’m ready I step back out into the room.
They are still standing there like a pair of mute idiots.
“Hey!” I finally shout at them. “What the fuck?”
Ryan starts and nudges Natalie with her elbow.
“You are lucky I’m not a lesbian,” she finally says.
That’s what she has to say after the last five minutes of complete silence?
“If I were a lesbian, I’d bend you over the bed and fuck you into next week.”
Ryan almost trips and falls when she starts to laugh. These two have been drinking. I’m kind of jealous, I want a drink. I think I’m going to need it tonight.
“Seriously though guys, what do you think?” I ask, twirling around in front of them slowly so they can get a good luck.
“If you leave without fucking tonight, then you might as well give up on men,” Ryan says, coming to stand before me and adjusting the neckline of my dress and pulling it down even further. If she’s not careful, I’m going to be giving a free show at the club tonight.
“Why is that?” I ask a little defensively.
“Because wearing that, every man is going to be all over you tonight. Looks perfect,” Natalie gives me a thumbs up and steps out of my room and into the other room. I can hear her on the phone in the living room. I bet she’s calling her husband. I’ve only met him once.
“Relax,” Ryan shakes my shoulders when I stand there frozen in place. “Just let everything go, Summer. For once, let it go.”
I hug her close to me and kiss her on the cheek. I don’t know what I would do without her.
“I love you, you know that, right?” I squeeze her tightly before releasing her and moving over to the desk in the corner of my room and grabbing my small purse, my phone, keys, and a jacket out of the closet. The weather looks cold outside, I don’t feel like freezing to death out there tonight.
“I love you too,” Ryan steps out of the room and over to Natalie who is standing beside the door waiting for us. Ryan doesn’t do well when it comes to sentimental bullshit, so I leave her be.
“Let’s go, the club is just starting to heat up,” Natalie says, opening my front door and stepping out onto the sidewalk. That must mean her husband will be joining us tonight.
******
Arriving at the club, I almost don’t want to get out of the car.
The place is packed, the line streaming out down the street and around the corner. We could be waiting here for hours, long enough for me to lose my nerve and run away.
I sit with my legs outside the car, looking up at the building before us. Dark, black paint, a glowing neon red sign, and people streaming in and out of the club. The place is huge, three times the size of the last club I was in. Interesting seeing as this place is less populated than the last place we lived in. The name on the front of the club reads Black Lightning. The name doesn’t make sense to me, but I’m not here to try and make sense of a sign outside of a building.
I take a deep breath and blow it out, standing from the inside of the car and slamming the door shut behind me.
“Come on,” Natalie grabs my hand and pulls me behind her and towards the front door. I almost trip and fall over my feet. I wasn’t expecting her to pull me forward so suddenly. I thought perhaps we were going to take our time going to the end of the line and waiting there like everyone else is.
But Natalie has other plans. She walks right up to the door, whispers in the bouncer’s ear, and he holds the door open for the three of us to head inside. I ignore the women protesting in the line behind us. I’m not going to question why we didn’t have to wait in line. I’m just glad we don’t have to freeze to death out here tonight.
The inside of the club is not nearly as packed as it is outside. Almost like they don’t want bodies to be crushed against one another in this place. For that, I’m grateful. I don’t do very well in overly crowded places. I never have, I think I might be claustrophobic. The girls continue to make their way into the club, and over to the bar, but I step off to the side and take in the place, choosing to take a moment to myself before I head over in their direction. Especially when I see the group of men waiting there for them.
I look up and admire the flashing green lights that beat down on the dance floor where bodies gyrate against one another, enjoying the dance music playing. The VIP section upstairs has a balcony that looks down over the dance floor, giving the viewers above the perfect view of the couples dancing below, and the bar at the rear of the room is enormous and packed full of people.
I turn to my right and check my purse, needing a few more minutes to myself before I join my friends. I’m starting to regret this decision. Maybe a drink or two and I won’t feel like this is the worst decision I’ve ever made.
I take another deep breath and force myself to leave the corner of the room and walk over to the bar where my friends are standing. I feel like a third wheel immediately when I find Natalie with Thunder wrapped around her and Ryan with one of his friends behind her. They may not be wearing their cuts tonight, but I know the guy with Ryan is a biker as well. I’ve seen him around town before. Those two have always liked dangerous men. I’ve always been into tamer men, ones that want to fuck, but don’t live life on the edge. I have enough darkness and danger inside of myself, I don’t need a man like that to add to it.
“One tequila, double,” I shout at the bartender when he nods his head in my direction for my drink order.
He places it down in front of me, and I suck on the piece of lime before I down the shot in one go, enjoying the burn in the back of my throat and in my nose. I love the way the liquid warms me on the inside.
I suddenly feel brave.
Ready to let go and forget.
I grab Ryan’s hand for her attention.
“Let’s dance,” I shout into her ear. She nods once, leaning over to the man next to her and whispers something in his ear. He nods once, letting her go so she can follow me out onto the dance floor.
It takes me several seconds and Ryan grabbing my hips for me to let go and find my rhythm. Throwing my hands up in the air and shaking my hips back and forth. She giggles and copies me, the two of us dancing with one another an entire song before the man from the bar comes out onto the dance floor, followed by Natalie and Thunder, and before I know it the entire side of the dance floor is full of people dancing. Helps to make it a little less awkward since I’m the only one out here without a partner.
That is until I feel hands snake their way around my waist and pull me closer. I almost pull away, almost push the person behind me away, but when his hands shake up my sides, they leave unexpected warmth in their wake, and I decide to just go with it.
For once, I let go.