Chapter Twenty-Eight
Summer
Voices across the hall have me muting my TV. I haven’t talked to Tigger much over the past few days, he’s been spending most of his time either with Thunder in the Chapel with his brothers trying to decide what they are going to do now that Drag is gone.
I still can’t believe he’s gone.
I may not have known him very well or been here as long as everyone else, but he was always kind to me and helped me when I needed him. I feel sad every time I think about him and his wife dying in that fire. According to Natalie, the fire marshal said it was a bomb that was planted inside the house. Drag touched something upstairs in the bedroom, and it triggered the countdown, and the bomb went off before Drag and Dorothy could get out. Thunder was outside at the truck when it happened, and Tigger was on his way back inside. Tigger could’ve died in that explosion. Just thinking about it makes my heart hurt. I’ve wanted to talk to him over the past few days, but I’m afraid to. Unsure of what I would say.
I’m almost completely healed now and even though everyone is still treating me with little kid gloves, but I’m fine. Other than getting the shit kicked out of me by Lefty, nothing else is bothering me. I was passed out when he raped me, so no emotional trauma from that and I can’t have kids, so there goes another thing I don’t have to worry about.
I stand and walk over to my door so I can hear them.
“Have you given any thought to what we discussed last night, Tig?”
I watch Tigger look in the direction of my room, so I move further behind the door, so he can’t see me. Thunder looks over and steps inside of Tigger’s room so I can’t hear them. Or at least they assume I can’t hear them. I know they are talking about me, I don’t think they could’ve made it any more obvious.
“I thought about it, but what if she doesn’t accept me for who I am, Thunder? You saw what happened with Kara. I don’t think I could survive having that happen to me again. I care about her, a lot,” Tigger replies.
My heart flutters a little when he says that. I wish he would say he loves me, but that’s wishful thinking on my part.
“Drag would’ve wanted you to tell her your secret. She knows your big secret. This one isn’t as big as that one, and besides the secret that could’ve gotten you killed, didn’t, you’re still here, even though Dean wanted to kill you,” he laughs, but all I can focus on is that Tigger has another secret that he hasn’t told me about. It can’t be though, can it? No, it can’t be, that’s just wishful thinking on my part. It would make my life so much easier if I didn’t have to pick between one or the other. My mystery man still texts me occasionally, and I smile every time he does. I miss spending time with him, just as much as I miss spending time with Tigger. This situation just continues to get more and more fucked up, and there doesn’t seem to be an ending anywhere in sight.
“I’ll think about it,” his voice sounds pained when he says this, almost like just the prospect of thinking about it is too much for him.
“Do it before one of her friends tells her, she deserves to hear from you that you are the man who lit up her nights. Besides, I know she’s been rocking your world for a while now. Tell her before you lose her,” I lean back away from the door when Thunder pats Tigger on the back and walks in the direction of my door. I think he’s heading my way, but he turns down the hall and his footsteps retreating has me moving back to my door.
I look through the opening and find Tigger staring across the room, but when he spots Thunder’s phone on his dresser, he quickly gets up and chases after him.
She deserves to hear from you that you are the man who lit up her nights.
But it can’t be, right? There’s no way that’s possible.
I open my door all the way and stare at his bed where his phone is lying on it. I bite my lip and pull up the contact TR and squeeze my eyes shut and hit the dial button. Relief fills me when it doesn’t ring, and I’m about to hang up when I hear a noise coming from across the hall.
“No fucking way,” I say out loud, my heart beating wildly in my chest.
I hang up and dial again, this time my phone connecting faster.
The phone slips and falls out of my hand when I see his phone illuminate and hear his rock ring tone blare from across the room. My knees almost give out when I realize Tigger is my mystery man.
But why? Why pretend to be some mystery man and fuck me at night when I was right here in front of him this entire time?
Was he ashamed to be seen with me here?
Why hide himself in the darkness from me?
Everything starts to suddenly become crystal clear. Why my mystery man’s scent seemed so familiar the first time Tigger hugged me and held me close, why his seductive voice sounded so much like Tigger’s did in the light of day, and those beautiful green eyes of his, the ones that captivated and held so much of my attention. That’s because all of them, every single last thing, all belonged to the same man.
Fuck, how did I not notice it before? But the most obvious clue of all never occurred to me.
TR.
Tom Rayo.
Son. Of. A. Fucking. Bitch.
He even gave me a clue, and I never caught on. Not to mention the gray motorcycle. Tigger rides a gray motorcycle.
But now that I know all of this, what do I do with it? He had every chance to tell me, and he didn’t do it. It can only mean one thing, he doesn’t love me the way I love him. God, no wonder I fell so easily in love with Tigger. It’s because they were the same fucking person this entire time.
I don’t think when tears well in my eyes and anger floods through my veins. I slam my door shut, start to shove belongings in my bag, and run out of the clubhouse and to my car. I barely remember to grab my phone off the floor in my haste to get away from here. I need to get away, even if just for a few days. I can’t stay here, how do I face him knowing I wasn’t good enough for him? That has to be the reason he never told me who he was.
I’m devastated and hurt to know I wasn’t enough.
Just like I wasn’t enough for Michael.
Without much thought, I turn my car towards the highway and gun it out of Maple Valley.
I dial Ryan on my way out of town, “I’m going home for a while,” I tell her when she answers.
“You know, don’t you?” I don’t have to ask what she’s talking about, she’s talking about Tigger.
“Yes, and he didn’t tell me, I dialed his fucking number, and Tigger’s phone rang. Fuck Ry, why didn’t you tell me?” I’m hurt she didn’t tell me.
“I didn’t know how you would take it, and you seemed so happy with him, so I left it alone, I’m sorry,” I hit the end button and throw my phone down beside me. I’m tired of her telling me she’s sorry. She always thinks she knows what’s best for me. I wish she’d just let me make those decisions for myself.
******
Port Angeles hasn’t changed much since the last time I was here. Everything looks exactly the same way it did before, and I don’t miss this place now that I’m back. Come to think of it, I haven’t missed it in the last five years either.
I pull up to the curb outside my childhood home and cut the engine and get out of the car. I round the car and sit on the hood of my car, staring up at the house that used to have so many wonderful memories.
I drag my bag out of the car and head inside. I look down at my phone and ignore the fifteen missed calls I have and instead shut the door behind me and collapse down on the couch and take a nap.
I wake a few hours later to find it’s dark outside. I turn the lights on inside the house and ignore the millionth phone call from Tigger and mute my phone. I instead to go the fridge and look inside like somehow looking in there is going to magically make food appear in there. The fucking thing is completely empty. At least I don’t have to deal with cleaning out rotten food.
I change my shoes to my favorite purple sneakers and head outside to my car to go to the grocery store. When I get there, I think about getting back into the car and heading home. I see some people I went to high school with inside working, and I don’t want to face them. Hopefully, they won’t recognize me.
I head inside and veer to the right so they won’t see me. I grab a few items to make some sandwiches and head to the checkout. Lucky they don’t recognize me, and I make my way to my car without incident. I notice a car parked outside my home when I get there, but don’t think anything of it when I go inside and lock the door behind me.
Turning the light on, the belongings in my hands fall and crash to the floor, the mayo bottle smashing and breaking.
“Hello, Summer.”
I look across the room at the figure leaning against the kitchen counter and inhale a shaky breath.
“Michael.”
“I knew eventually you would come home.”