Christina
I get ready for Mr. M, but for some reason, I’m thinking about David. Okay not for ‘some’ reason. I know why. I love David. I might love Mr. M, I might just crave him. But I never want to have to choose. But with everything that David has said to me, I think that when David finds out what I do, he’ll have something to say about it.
It’s no longer a question about doing this to feel desirable and free.
It’s no longer about money.
It’s about who I love. Versus who I crave.
What am I going to do?
I think this is going to come to a head soon.
And then everything I think rolls out the window.
David is standing at the door of my hotel room and he’s holding the Mr. M blindfold.
Oh.
My.
God.
He’s got a smirk on his face.
I know that he isn’t just here and he doesn’t just have that. I know now that David is Mr. M. Everything that I might have been confused about doesn’t matter anymore because there has only ever been one man for me. He throws the blindfold behind me and looks at me like he’s about to kiss me.
I put my hands up. “David, how…why?” I know what I just saw. But knowing it and accepting it? Totally two different things.
He cocks his head to the side. “I didn’t want to take away the first time you were on your own two feet. You were actually happy,” David says.
I hear how defensive he’s getting. “I…” I’m about to say that I’m not mad…but even if I’m not angry, I don’t know what to think. I step back, putting my hands down and ball up my fists, clenching them and unclenching them.
“Christina,” David says my name and he strokes my cheek.
I’m stunned for moment. I don’t say anything, knowing it will make him talk. Give someone silence, and they’ll ache to fill it. I don’t know what to say, so let’s see what he does.
David cups my face. “I know you liked it,” he says.
That kills my silent streak right there. “Me enjoying something is not an excuse,” I say, pulling his hand away from my face. I take another step back. “You lied to me. You teased me as Mr. M and you like courted me or something as yourself—”
“Courted?” David laughs.
I point a finger at him and press it right on his nose. “Don’t mock me right now,” I warn him.
David grabs my wrist, stroking my skin softly.
“And don’t distract me,” I say, scrunching my nose up at him. “‘Fess up, when did you know?”
David opens his mouth and I walk away, grabbing my phone. “Actually,” I say, putting my finger against his lips to shut him up. “I’m calling Thomas,” I tell him.
David laughs nervously.
Good, he needs to sweat a little.
“Hey, Chris!” Thomas says, and I can tell he’s in a good mood. “I don’t need to verify what you and Mr. M are doing, you know?”
“Very funny,” I say. “Did you know Mr. M was my stepson?” I have no time for small talk right now.
“He paid me a lot of money to not know much,” Thomas replies.
“Thanks,” I say, hanging up the phone and tossing it behind me. Let it lie with the blindfold right now because David needs to explain this.
“What did you pay Thomas?” I ask.
“How much?” David says. He puts his arms on my shoulders.
“No, no…what did you pay him for?” I give him a stern look but I don’t move his hands.
David’s eyes narrow, looking into mine, and I know that he understands that he’s misstepped. Doesn’t mean he’s getting off too easy. He needs to sweat some more. Even if he solved my last remaining dilemma in my life, I don’t need him to feel the relief I will…when I know the truth.
“I paid him to stop letting clients fuck you…I wanted you all to myself. But I didn’t want to take away your life. I also became your client because I wanted to enjoy your new life with you, and because it was hot seeing you become a perfect whore for me,” David says.
I don’t flinch at the word ‘whore’ and I shouldn’t — I was a whore, and I enjoyed it.
“You know you don’t get to take on alternate personas and strong arm my career and shit, right?” I laugh. “I mean, I wasn’t just your whore, you know,” I tell him.
“I do, and I do…” David says, his words cautious.
“I don’t think you do, at least the part where you realize you pulled strings on my life and that’s not okay—”
“You weren’t going to let me take care of you. So I did the best I could. Part of me knew it was fucked up, but I couldn’t resist you,” David says, and the passion in his voice making my pulse quicken.
My throat tightens. In my whole life, no one has ever truly taken care of me. I don’t even know if I would have let David…I mean, I knew I wasn’t going to contest the will. I never would have asked David for money. I would rather prostitute myself than doing that. Tears well up in my eyes and I turn around. I don’t want David to see my reaction, and I realize it is because I don’t want him to see how vulnerable this has made me.
That’s why when he puts his arm around me and pulls me to him, I don’t pull away. I don’t want to. I want him to hold me like it is now.
When his eyes capture mine, I see the man that took care of me, the man that went to any lengths for me to be happy, thrilled, satisfied beyond any amount I’d ever been before.
“Can you forgive me?” David asks, his voice husky, his fingers brushing my hair from my face.
“Yes,” I say, definitively knowing that I love David more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. Knowing that I want to be his forever.