Chapter 32

Aurora

I tiptoe around my Park Avenue apartment, trying not to make a noise. Anders is home at last, and he’s asleep. Even though internally I feel like shaking him awake and giving him a piece of my mind, my better judgment says that he needs to get some rest and to recuperate.

He needs treatment. He’s for sure damaged beyond recognition. Anders wandered in here a couple days ago, and he’s been sleeping pretty much the entire time.

He looked more haggard than ever.

Luckily for me, I have something better to focus on. Declan called and invited me out. It took him long enough. I’m not going to hold the timeframe against him, though.

If you saw him, you wouldn’t either. I’ve been busy with Finn and Jasper. But that doesn’t mean Declan hasn’t been at the back of my mind this entire time.

I want him equally as bad as the other guys.

I want to experience him at least one more time.

He’s different from his brothers. His green eyes have this way of penetrating me right into the depth of my soul. He’s artsy and broody. I know he’s into photography and everything else that lends itself to beauty.

I walk into Anders’ room and attempt to check on him.

“Anders, it’s me, Aurora. Are you okay?” I say into the darkened atmosphere of his room.

He groans and moans and turns over.

“Do you want me to call the doctor?”

“No, just get out of here. All I need is some sleep. Just some fucking sleep.”

I wish his words and harsh tone didn’t hurt me. I wish I could build a steel wall around myself that Anders couldn’t break. But as it is, he’s my brother, and I love him.

I also know this isn’t who he really is. Underneath all those layers of addiction is the person that I grew up with, the person that used to take care of me all my life.

Now it’s my time to take care of him. I only wish that I had some idea of how to do that.

“Okay, well, I’m going out for a while tonight. Just call me if you need anything or call the doctor, okay?” I say to deafened ears.

“Fine, fine whatever. Just leave me alone.”

I get him a cool bottle of water from the fridge and leave it on his bedside table. He hasn’t eaten for the past few days, but he at least has to drink something.

“Anders, I promise I’ll leave. But please drink this water. You need it.”

I’m not sure if he’s heard me or not. All I get is silence.

My heart aches for him. If I wasn’t so worried, I’d be bringing up the financial situation.

It’s a huge concern. I need to know how Anders is spending all of that money. But I know that in his altered state, he’s not gonna give me any straight answers right now.

I need to give him some time.

And so I go to get dressed for my date with Declan. He said that we’re going to an art opening, which is exactly my type of vibe.

There’s no guessing what to wear. I already have the outfit hanging in my closet. I pull out the long, lacy, black dress and my favorite, red-soled black heels.

I go to my vanity to perfect my makeup.

Declan is all about beauty, and I want to sell that fantasy for him tonight. I want him to think of me as the most beautiful woman in the room. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, and there’s this energy of lust building up in my belly.

I carefully line my lips with red lip liner and put corresponding matte lipstick on to match. Then I build up a black, smoky eye.

It’s easy for me to be around artistic people. They always have so much to say, and their lifestyles are interesting.

More than anything, I’m excited to have a night on the town and away from this apartment.

The Grayson brothers have taught me that I deserve to have a life. I don’t have to be confined to the walls of our Park Avenue place just because Anders can’t get his life together.

He hasn’t even asked me about how I feel having lost my virginity. I have virtually no one to talk to. Pushing my loneliness aside, I continue to get ready and focus on Declan.

I toss my long blonde hair into wavy curls and find the perfect vintage black leather purse to go with my outfit.

Then I wait.

I wait, and I wait with nothing to occupy me but the hesitancy that always arises when it comes to seeing one of the Grayson brothers.

I do the only thing I can think of…get myself a shot of Jack Daniels, knowing it’ll do the trick. It always does.

And then, I wait some more for him to arrive.

Thinking of Anders and how he probably won’t remember the conversation we just had, I decide to write him a note.

Anders,

I went out on another date. Take care of yourself. Drink water. Call the doctor, please.

Love,

Aurora

Yes, I’m early sitting her waiting for Declan.

No, he’s not late…yet.

I try to be patient, but there’s no chance of that. Anxiety and excitement course through my veins. I feel like I’m high on the testosterone that’s coming my way.

If only Anders knew how good life could be without drugs. I feel wild sensations of lust and longing flow through my body. There’s nothing better than being wrapped up in a man.

These past few weeks have taught me that.

Actually, I feel glad that I managed to save my virginity for this long. It was well worth the wait. Even if these guys are playboys, it has all been worth it.

But if I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I’m starting to fall for each of them. Granted, I don’t know Declan very well yet, but his energy is infectious.

I see a black Mercedes pull up in front of the building, and I know it’s him. He doesn’t get out. I have no chance to see him before our date.

Instead, my phone buzzes, and I answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Aurora. It’s me. Come down and meet me. I’m here.”

“Okay,” I say, having to muster all of my strength just to get that word out.

I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know how to be around him. I’m so fucking nervous.

I leave the apartment and am happy to do so. I’m walking into my future…with Declan.

Downstairs, he’s waiting in front of his Mercedes. He comes over and opens the door, but not before planting a kiss on my cheek.

The feel of his lips on my skin is tantalizing. Sparks are flying between us already. All in one instant, I remember what happened the night he stole my virginity.

Did he really steal it? I think I gave it up willingly. I think that being with him was the best choice I’ve ever made in my life.

I get into his luxurious car and somehow feel very protected from the outside world. Being with him makes me feel calm.

Despite all my nerves and my anticipation of this evening, there’s something about Declan that’s familiar to me.

He gets in the driver’s seat, and we speed away.