Carrie
The morning news is playing in the kitchen as we enjoy some espresso over brunch. It was a wild night and now I'm ready to settle in with Jeremy. All the loose strings have been tied and now I am conscious of the fact that I trust him completely and I love every part of him, even the sinister ones. I finally understand the enchantment of death and now that I've experienced it, it’ll will be hard to ever look away again.
The reporters are still covering the mass murder that happened to my classmates and I actually enjoy watching it because now I see Jeremy's point of view. There is a power and fascination in watching death occur. I've never been afraid to die and being with Jeremy certainly cements that. I can't believe the news is still covering this story like some big giant thing. I no longer feel that way. I feel the opposite where murder is just a thing that happens, almost essential to life. I look at Jeremy, who's preparing my eggs.
"I finally get it," I say to him. "The allure of death. It's magical and I can see how you'd be obsessed with it."
He looks at me fiercely and comes over for a kiss. I taste his succulent lips on mine and pull his face into my hands. I look directly at him so he knows I mean business. "I want to be like you."
I see something like happiness spread across his face. "You already are like me, you just didn't know it. That's what attracted me to you in the first place."
"Well, you pulled it out of me. It was there all along and I couldn't name it, but because of you, I can. I feel like my true self."
The expression on his face is priceless as he knows that it's true. "Such a compliment, my love."
He kisses me again and then I sip my espresso thoughtfully.
"No, I don't think you get it. I want to experience it with you. I want to know exactly what it's like."
His eyes turn dark and I know he's considering what I mean.
"Tell me about your first kill."
He looks at me cautiously, determining if I really want to know. "Okay, it was with Carter. We were in college and we were out one night drinking, walking the streets at a late hour. We came across some frat boys who had dragged a girl into the bushes, they raped her. We showed up too late to do anything, they were leaving her when we saw them. We called the cops for her, made sure they took her.”
I'm looking at him with my breath held, waiting to hear the rest of the story. I am trying not to shake myself as I empathize with the poor girl's plight.
He sees my fear. "You sure you want me to continue?"
"Yes," I practically whisper. "I have to know what happened."
"So we, Carter and I, determined that we had to do something. An excessively malevolent feeling came over us. We had never been so close to a crime of this magnitude. They used her body and left her like garbage. Those assholes had to pay, otherwise, no one would ever find out. We stole into each of their bedrooms separately and just killed them off, one by one so that they were dead in their beds. Before we did it though, we said to each one, 'This is for what you did to that girl. You are paying for it.' As the terror crept across their faces and they realized that they had made a huge mistake not only in raping her but in crossing us, well, we got off on it. We left them dripping with blood, to bleed out in their beds till morning when the other frat guys would find them. We even left a note saying that if there was ever another rape coming from that house then the same would follow. It was all over the news but we never got caught. We did it right. And we left a note for the girl too. All it said was, 'For you.' We assumed she'd know what it meant in some way; even if she couldn't remember the details, she knew she had been violated and by our actions we confirmed for her exactly who it was."
My mouth is agape. "Oh my God."
"I know," he says. "I've been going on killing sprees ever since. The rush and the adrenaline of it, and knowing that I am achieving some kind of due justice, well, it makes it all worth it. There is nothing like seeing someone realize that their evil mistake has been caught. Their web of deceit is coming undone. It's the same look we saw on Carter's face. God knows I never thought he'd betray me. But he did, so he paid. He should've known."
I am absolutely enraptured by this man. He's a good person in the most twisted way and he fights for me like no one else ever has or would. It makes me fall deeper in love with him.
I have one question to ask him though. "You said you would never hurt me even if I betray you but how could that be when you're out for vengeance? What if I really hurt you? What if I turned you in or cheated on you?"
His words are secure, "Not you Carrie. Not you. You could even kill me and I wouldn't fight back. I love you like you are a piece of my soul. I would never hurt you no matter how bad things got. There's nothing you could do to make me think otherwise. I promise."
I am moved to tears in knowing that I am the one and only person who could ever fight back or hurt him or hurt somebody else and he would still be with me, fighting my cause. It's fucking romantic and I finally feel treasured and secure in my future. I finally feel happy about my future and as though there is actually something to live for...him.
"I want you to show me," I tell him. "Show me how it's done."