Chapter 2
Arthur
The phone rang in my pocket, the ringtone I’d assigned to Leo’s school unmistakable. I handed the man across the counter his change and smiled apologetically. “Gotta take this, man,” I said.
The man nodded and rushed out of the store with his treasures, carefully holding the bag close to his body so he didn’t bust his new vape pen. Groaning, I picked up the phone one ring before the voicemail would have, if I’d bothered to set it up yet. “Hello?”
“Is this Arthur Reed?” a curt voice asked.
“Speaking.”
“We’re going to need to you to come get Leo.”
There was no explanation, no preamble, and no empathy. The woman was angry, and breathing hard through the phone. Never a good sign.
“What did he do now?” I asked, trying to buy time while I rushed around behind the counter, trying to find the keys to the store.
“You’ll receive a full report when you arrive.” Before I could press her for more info, she hung up the phone.
“Not good,” I said, finally locating my keys and vaulting over the counter instead of going through the locked door. My kid needed me; he just didn’t know it.
The parking lot was empty after the lunch rush, but I still took the time to flip the sign and let people know I was out to lunch. Business was good, but if people came upon a locked door with no explanation, they would probably never come back.
My Chevy Leaf was silent as I hurried through the streets toward the school, heart in my throat. I didn’t know what Leo had done this time, but I knew it must be bad. I rehearsed everything I planned on saying to him, desperately searching for the words that would reach him.
By the time I pulled into the parking lot, I’d forgotten all of it, and was left resisting the urge to run onto campus and swoop in to save Leo.
Principal Moss met me at the door and ushered me into her office without me having to give my ID in exchange for a visitor’s pass. My stomach lurched, and the old familiar feeling of dread rose up when she opened the door and motioned me inside. I took a seat beside Leo and tried to ignore the resource officer was standing with his back against the wall a few feet away.
“Leo is not having a good day,” Principal Moss said, sliding a stack of papers my way. “I can summarize it for you, if you want. But basically, he’s running out of chances.”
“Chances?” I said numbly, drawing an embarrassed groan from Leo. I shot him a look, but he didn’t flinch. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
She sighed. “Mr. Reed. I’m trying to run a high school here. Now, we all care about Leo and want to see him succeed, but not at the cost of other students’ well-being.”
I blinked, and she sighed again. “He got in another fight today. We’re not even halfway through the year, and he’s been in four fights. Now, I’ve let some things go, because I know that he’s…”
She stopped as if searching for the words, then cleared her throat uncomfortably and tried a new tactic. “Look, if we can’t find a way for Leo to come to school and make it through the day without an altercation or an argument, we’re going to recommend he go to the alternative school.”
“Alternative school?” I asked.
“The bad kid school,” Leo hissed, arms crossed. “Geez, Dad. It’s like you don’t know anything.”
His words stung, but I let them slide. I could see it in his posture; Leo was upset and trying to protect himself. From what, I didn’t know. But I wasn’t going to let him bait me with his anger.
I looked back at Principal Moss and ignored Leo huffing in the corner. “Did you interview the other boy?”
“Other boys.”
“What?”
“He was engaging in a physical altercation with three boys,” the resource officer said, clearly irritated with me.
In fact, it seemed like everyone was irritated at me. I fought the urge to retreat into myself, taking several cleansing breaths to center myself before I spoke again. “Is everything outlined in this?” I asked, pointing to the file she’d given me.
“Yes, it is.”
“All right. The day is pretty much over. What if I take him home now and keep him home until Monday, so he can decompress, and we can get to the bottom of this?"
The principal looked visibly relieved, but I could already tell that Leo was going to fight me on it. I ignored him, as hard as that was, and addressed Principal Moss. “Can you ask his teachers to email me his homework for the rest of the week?”
“Already done,” she said. “They’ve emailed next week’s, too. Just in case you were thinking about homeschooling him again.”
“I’m sure we can resolve this without doing anything crazy,” I said.
“Regardless, he’s suspended until Monday.”
“I understand.”
“It wasn’t my fault, Dad. Ugh! Why do you always have to side with everyone else?”
This time, I did turn to him. I searched his eyes, trying to connect with the frightened little boy inside, but Leo had thrown up his walls, and they weren’t coming down without a fight. “I’m on your side,” I said quietly. “That doesn’t always mean what you think it should.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“Whether I agree or not, these are the rules.”
“That’s easy to say when you don’t follow the rules.”
“We’ll talk more at home,” I said, my words short as I struggled to hold it together.
“Whatever,” he said, standing up abruptly and pulling away when the resource officer put his hand on Leo’s shoulders to slow him down. “Get your hands off me!” he yelled, then fled the office without me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “He’s had such a rough life. I adopted him from foster care—”
“When he was eight,” the principal interrupted. “He’s fifteen. You can’t keep justifying this behavior, or it’s going to blow up in your face." She grimaced. “More than it already has.”
“What would you have me do? Punish him?”
“Proper discipline is essential for adolescent development. Taking away privileges and assigning extra chores—”
“Breeds contempt. Leo doesn’t need that in his life. He needs kindness and understanding.”
“He needs both,” she said firmly. “And if I don’t see marked improvement by Thanksgiving, I’m going to have to recommend that he attend the alternative school.”
I could feel the anger rising, but I pushed it back and took a deep breath before I responded. “I disagree with you on several levels, but I’m not in a good place to talk about this right now.”
“I understand,” she said. “You have my number when you’re ready. But I need you to think about it.
“Leo is isolating himself one altercation at a time. Pretty soon, he won’t have a single kid at the school willing to give him the time of day. If you’re worried about what negative consequences will do to him, you should consider what being completely shunned will do to a teenager. It’s a delicate age.”
“I know,” I said. Then I left, too emotional to trust myself to speak in kindness.
Leo was already in the car, key in the ignition, radio blaring. I got in, turned the radio off and looked at him. “How did you get my keys?”
“Like you can’t feel anyone reach into that poncho you’re always wearing. You look like a stoner. It’s embarrassing.”
“I had to cover my Stems and Seeds shirt. Last time I came straight from work, you freaked out about that.”
“Because it’s lame. I didn’t ask you to get lamer.”
“I understand that you’re angry. I’d like to invite you to take a moment to breathe while I drive back home, and then we can talk.”
“I’d like to invite you to kiss my ass,” he muttered angrily.
I reached toward him, opening the glovebox, my heart squeezing when he flinched as if I might hit him. “You’ve been family for seven years, and I have never laid a hand on you,” I said, pulling a rolled-up paper bag from the glovebox. “I’m deeply sorry that you don’t feel safe in this space.”
His bottom lip quivered, and I prepared myself for the breakthrough we both needed him to have. But then he straightened, sticking out his chin defiantly. “I didn’t flinch; you just imagined it. I’m not scared of you.”
“I’ve never asked you to be." I unrolled the bag and put a few drops of CBD liquid in the vape pen. “Here. Maybe this will help you calm down a little.”
He looked at me, incredulous. “Are you serious right now? You’re going to get me high because I got in a fight at school?”
“There’s no THC in this. It will help with your anxiety.”
“Oh. My. Gawd,” he said, emphasizing each word. “Can we just go home so I don’t have to be seen in this stupid, hippy car?”
“I was thinking you could come back to the store with me.”
“No,” he said flatly. “I’m not going to hide out in the back like last time. I’m not supposed to be in the store until I’m eighteen. I don’t know why you expect me to follow rules when you can’t even manage it.”
“I’m not asking you to bend to society’s rules. But we are not a violent family. Physical violence is never the answer.”
“You don’t even know what happened.”
“I don’t need to know.” I started driving toward home. “We don’t respond with violence.”
“No, you don’t respond with violence. I’m not going to let people walk all over me like I’m some kind of loser. I’m not going to let people hurt me without fighting back. I’m not like you.”
“It hurts when you say things like that.”
“It’s not supposed to feel good,” he shot back, then sat back against the seat. “I just want to go home.”
“I’m taking you home, but no TV and no video games until I come back.”
“You’re grounding me?”
“No. But you need to focus on using your words to solve problems, instead of your fists. There has to be a better way to address the conflicts you’re having with other kids.”
“I’m going to be sick.”
I slammed on the brakes and turned to him, ignoring the blaring horns behind me. “Are you really?”
“Holy crap, no! Drive before we get hit. I was just saying — ugh, never mind. I don’t want to talk about it right now, all right?”
I continued down the street, headed for home. “I understand. We’ll talk more when I get home from work. I want you to think about why you’re getting so riled up about their words that you can’t help resorting to violence.”
He scoffed. “Work. As if selling pot to potheads is work. It’s your fault I got in that fight in the first place.”
I pulled into our driveway and parked, about to ask him what he meant, but he was already out the door and taking the stairs two at a time. I watched him until he was inside, slamming the door so hard that I was sure the foundation shook.
I backed out before I could change my mind and go after him. “He needs space,” I said, breathing in through my nose and holding it before letting it back out. “He’ll talk to me when he’s ready.”
It didn’t make me feel any better, but it was getting late, and I needed to open the store for a few more hours to make my sales. Otherwise, we’d have bigger problems than Leo’s misplaced anger.
One of my favorite regulars pulled into the parking lot as I unlocked the door to Stems and Seeds and flipped the sign to Open. “I came by earlier and you were closed,” he said, coming through the door on my heels.
“Yeah, I had to go get my kid from school.”
“Sick or fighting?”
“Fighting,” I admitted, waiting for the judgment. I was a pacifist at heart, and so were so many of my customers. “If I knew how to make him stop, I would.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, buddy. I raised five boys. Trust me, it’s par for the course.”
“Really? I was kinda hoping it would work itself out over the summer.”
He shook his head. “Some are worse than others. It’s all about what they internalize and how they deal with the blowout.”
“That’s what I tried to tell him.”
The man laughed. “You can’t tell an angry teen that they’re being irrational. You have to find his currency.”
“Currency?”
“What speaks to him. What gets him motivated to make positive changes? Everyone has something that motivates them to do better. It’s a natural human instinct.”
“Any ideas? He pretty much hates everything.”
“That’s something you’re going to have to figure out. You and your partner need to work together to figure out what makes him tick.”
“I’m a single dad,” I said. “I’ve been a single dad since I adopted him when he was eight.”
“Who supports you? Your family, friends?”
“I support myself.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. You need a tribe, or at least someone who loves your son as much as you do. It takes a lot of love to help a kid like Leo work through his issues.”
“He doesn’t seem to want love,” I said, laughing uncomfortably. “Every time I try to love him through it, he just pushes me away.”
The man smiled, his face serene and etched with years of wisdom. I felt my own anxiety ease. This was a man who knew what he was talking about.
I could sense some profound wisdom coming my way. I prepared myself, and I was not disappointed.
“Children who need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways. Leo is pushing you away because he needs you more than he is willing to admit. But you can’t do it alone. Before you do anything else, I would explore friendships with other parents, maybe even full-blown relationships.”
“I can’t do that. What will Leo think?”
“He’ll see you putting yourself and your emotional health first, and he’ll be more willing to follow your example. How can we preach self-care to our kids if we don’t practice it?”
“You’re so right,” I said. “That’s so deep, and extremely helpful, but I’m not sure I’m ready to date.”
“It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Look, there’s this meetup group called the Single Dad’s Club. Why don’t you look them up?”
“I don’t know,” I started, but he held up his hand.
“It’s nothing intimidating. You go on a hike, or take a cooking class, and meet up with guys in your situation. There’s no pressure and no expectations.”
“I don’t know. With Leo acting like he is, maybe this isn’t the best time.”
“It’s never the best time,” he countered. “Just give it some thought.”
I nodded. “I will.”
He left then, and with a heavy sigh, I checked my watch and realized that it was already way past closing time. The parking lot was empty, and there hadn’t been a call all day.
I knew things would pick up on Friday and Saturday, but the midweek slowdown always had me on edge. My budget was stretched thin as it was, and I couldn’t afford a bad day, let alone a bad week.
The sun had already set by the time I finished counting the drawer. I closed up and took my cash drop to the bank, then drove home and dragged myself up the stairs. I was too exhausted to listen to the neighbor who called out to me, and with less guilt than usual, I pretended I didn’t hear him, closing the door behind me and locking it.
The apartment was dark except for the light coming from under Leo’s bedroom door. I almost knocked, but changed my mind. He needed more space, and I needed more rest before I tackled this again. It would do us both some good to regroup in the morning.
I crawled into bed, phone in hand, scrolling through meetup groups until I found the one I was looking for. My heart fluttered in my chest. Was I really going to do it?
Before I could talk myself out of it, I signed up and registered for a cooking class that Friday.