Declan

I’m not sure why I’m here, but I am.

It’s become a habit for me. I work through my scheduled lunch, make sure that all my workers are working, do whatever stupid paperwork is sent my way, and then I get in my car to head to the Céad Míle Fáilte. I’ve become a creature of habit, or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment. I’m not sure, but before I know it, I’m walking up the cobblestones to the door and pushing it open.

And there she is.

She looks as hot as ever in a pair of worn jeans that hug every single inch of her and a green tank that I know would show off a nice view of her breasts if she were to turn to look at me. Her hair is down, reaching all the way to the middle of her back, and as she reaches up to put a bottle on the shelf, I get a glimpse of skin from where her shirt rises.

For fuck’s sake, this was a bad idea.

Of course, my heart kicks into speed, my dick gets harder than a slab of marble, and I feel breathless. When she turns, a smile is on her face to greet me, but then surprise floods her face as her eyes meet mine. Slowly, the smile falls and she quickly gets off the ladder she is on to come toward the bar as I do the same.

“Hey.”

I sit on the stool and say, “Howya,” before reaching for the menu that sits before me. The tension is thick. I can feel her within reach and I want to touch her, but I know I can’t. Through my lashes, I watch as she tucks her hands into her pockets before rocking back on her heels.

“Didn’t think you’d be in today.”

I glance up, and when I do, I wish I hadn’t. Her face is flushed, her eyes shining, and Christ, her breasts are practically falling out of her shirt. She’s stunning. It hurts but even more so when my eye is caught by the vase of daisies that sits behind her. I assume they are from that fucking gobshite and quickly look away as I say, “I have to eat.”

I know that comes out a little harsher than I intended it to, so I look up, meeting her sad gaze, and add, “And it doesn’t hurt that I like spending time with you.”

A smile pulls at her lips, making me notice there are marks on her cheeks. Cuts, maybe. “What happened to your face?”

She looks away as she reaches for her pad of paper. Without looking at me, which isn’t like her, she says, “Oh, nothing. I’m glad you came in. We have cottage pie today—your favorite. Would you like some? With a beer, maybe?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” I answer. She works quickly to fill my order, never meeting my gaze or even talking to me. I glance back at the daisies and roll my eyes at the mere sight of them. I want to ask how her date went, hoping she’d say they didn’t go because a car hit Casey on the way to get her, but I don’t want to know the answer if it isn’t that one. Instead, I say, “Nice flowers.”

She looks back at them and nods. “Yeah.”

Yeah? That’s all I’m going to get from her? I’m not sure what is going on, but I don’t like it one bit. “Amberlyn.”

“Yeah?” she says as she wipes the bar, still not looking at me.

“Can ya look at me real fast?”

Her hand stops on the bar before looking up at me. “What’s up?”

I hold her gaze, and I know something is wrong. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she says before going back to wiping the bar.

“Are you sure? You’re actin’ weird.”

She nods her head. “Yeah, just trying to get some work done. Sorry, I’m tired.”

Yeah, from having a blast with that sheep-shaggin’ fucker. My blood starts to boil as I stab at my pie, throwing it in my mouth, not really tasting it as I eat. Nothing is said as I finish and she meticulously cleans the bar, making sure not to miss a single germ. It’s annoying, and I want to scream out from the mere stupidity of it all. So she is dating someone else when I had my heart set on dating her… Does it mean we can’t be fucking friends? Laying my fork down, I sit up straight and set her with a look, intending to say just that, but before I can, Fiona flutters in.

“Howya, Declan!”

I nod before picking my fork back up. “Howya.”

I look down to start eating, but before I can get a bit of pie to my mouth, Fiona exclaims, “Ugh! Amberlyn, why haven’t you thrown these away yet?”

I glance up just in time to see Amberlyn shaking her head. What the hell is that about? Fiona glances at me and then slowly looks back at Amberlyn, her eyes wide.

“Okay,” she draws out as she bends down, I guess to pick up something, but then I notice that Amberlyn bends down at the same time. This is just a fucking gas! Standing up, I look over the bar to find them whispering like little schoolgirls.

“Secrets don’t make friends, ladies.”

They both look up at me, surprised, before scrambling to their feet. Amberlyn looks over at me as Fiona rambles, “She was helping me tie my shoes.”

I glance down to see her bright pink toes. “You’re wearing flip-flops.”

Amberlyn bites down on her lip as Fiona lets out a loud laugh. “Aye, you got us. You just look so hot today, Declan. You have us blushing!”

While it would do nothing but please me immensely to think Amberlyn thinks that, I know Fiona is lying. “Come off it, Fiona. I don’t care. I can leave so ye can have your private talk.”

“No, finish your lunch. I’m gonna go lie down. I’m supertired.”

“Okay, I got this,” Fiona says as she refills my pint. I watch as Amberlyn throws the rag in the sink before turning to look back at me. “Will you be in tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

She gives me a small smile before saying, “Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“Have a nice nap.”

Her smile grows as her cheeks dust with color. “Thanks.”

I grin as she turns around, watching as she walks away, but then she stops, grabbing the vase and tossing it in the can. She doesn’t look back, leaving me to try to figure out why she did that.

“What’s the matter with her?”

Fiona shrugs as she moves to the fridge before she starts to restock it with the beer Amberlyn carried in. “Tired, I guess. We worked late last night.”

Huh? “I thought she went out with Casey.”

Fiona pauses, only for a second, but I caught it. I know she is lying when she says, “Yeah.”

I wait for her to say more, but it is obvious she isn’t going to. “So she worked and went out?”

She nods without looking at me. “Sure.”

“Are you lyin’ to me?”

She looks up guiltily. “Yup, are ya done with this?”

She reaches for my plate, disappearing to the back before I can say anything. I don’t know what her game is, but I don’t like it. Doesn’t she realize that I care for Amberlyn? That I would love to be able to take her out, get to know her outside of this fuckin’ pub? When she comes back out, I’m still waiting, and I think she thought I wouldn’t be.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

She smiles, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you want, Declan. I can’t say anything.”

“Why?”

She shrugs, not looking at me again. She reminds me a lot of Amberlyn. They act more like sisters than cousins. They favor each other. “I have no clue.”

I eye her. “Are you lying again?”

She nods with a grin playing on her lush lips. “Sure am.”

Deciding that she is hopeless, I lay some money on the bar and then turn to leave.

“Did you give up on her?”

I pause, looking over my shoulder at her. “What do you mean?”

“On Amberlyn, did you give up because of Casey?”

“It’s only been a day, Fiona. I just hope it doesn’t work out.”

“And then you’ll ask her out?”

I nod, my face warming with color. “That’s my plan.”

She shoots me a wide grin, one that lights up her whole face, as she leans on the bar. “It’s a good plan.”

My mouth pulls up at the side, and I look down at the floor. Somehow, I feel as if she is telling me that things with Casey aren’t going to last, and that alone has me practically skipping out the door to my car.

* * *

Back at the distillery, I’m catching up on work when my mother flutters in. I am surprised to see her but even more so when my sister comes in behind her. Lena is almost as tall as I am, skin and bones, with long, blond hair and ice-blue eyes. She has sharp angles to her face, but lush, pink lips that men gawk at. She looks like an ice princess, and I used to call her that, until Casey happened. I’ve always felt like what happened was my fault. I was the one who brought Casey around; I was the one who gave him her number when he asked for it. I thought it was innocent. He said he needed help with school. Casey was really bad off in history. He had failed before and had to repeat it, putting him in her class. Lena was a straight A student. I soon learned it was all a lie. He was looking to get in with my sister, to be set for life.

He comes from a poor family. His da ran out on them when he was born, and his ma has always been very sick, rendering him to care for her and work two jobs through school. However, he never let that interfere with his life. He always wore a bright smile; he was happy and carefree. He was a great pal, fun to play with out on the pitch, but that all came to a crashing halt when he came in, hands locked with Lena’s, saying he wanted to marry her. She was so young, so innocent, and over the moon in love with the fucker. To this day, I still get so angry that my heart feels as if it will come out of my chest. I sometimes feel that he’s another reason why I withdrew myself from everyone. How can someone claim to be your friend, but pursue your baby sister behind your back, and then rape her? It’s horrifying, and I still can’t believe it happened to her. She is such a beautiful person, inside and out, and despite what happened, she still smiles.

She reminds me a lot of Amberlyn.

Leaning back in my chair, I ask, “Ma, Lena, what brings ye by?”

It isn’t like the distillery is on the way to the kitchen. It’s a good five-minute drive, and they never make their way here. Ma smiles as she comes toward my desk. Something tells me I am not going to like what she is about to say. “We came up to tell you that we are having a White Ball!”

Yup, I don’t fuckin’ like it. Groaning, I say, “For fuck’s sake, why?”

“Declan! Language!” she scolds as Lena giggles.

I roll my eyes. “I’m sorry, Ma, but why? Why do you have to do this?”

“Because we want to! It is set for a month from now on the nineteenth. Lena is going to help you find a date.”

She claps her hands happily. I make a face as Lena snickers, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “The hell she will. I don’t need help finding someone to come with me, Ma!”

She waves me off, smiling. “Well, in case you do, she said she’d help.”

Lena smiles. “Yeah, Dec, I’m sure one of my friends would love the chance to date the Whiskey Prince.”

Like a child, I stick my tongue out at her and she does it right back, grinning ear-to-ear. Glaring at her, I say, “Not a hope! I’m well capable of doing that myself!”

“Okay, well, good. Tell Kane the same, and please make sure you bring someone. Your da is very adamant on seeing you with someone since you’ve been going out so much.”

“Yeah, I guess there is something better than the food at the Céad Míle Fáilte, huh, Dec?” Lena teases and I want to tell her to fuck off, but I don’t want to get in trouble with Ma. So with a smile, I say, “Maybe so.”

She laughs as she heads for the door. My ma gives me a tight smile before saying, “Please make sure you bring someone.”

“Ma! I will, sheesh, off with you. I have work to do, and I don’t want to discuss this anymore.”

She rolls her eyes as she turns. “So much like your da, and for all that is good and holy, will you make sure she wears white!”

And then she is gone. I’m glad too because I was about to be even more of an arse if she wasn’t. God, they drive me up the wall, and I wonder why I was glad to see them. Getting back to work, my mind is clouded with thoughts of Amberlyn. I wonder when a good time would be to ask her about Casey. I hope that, like Fiona implied, things will go south quickly so I can swoop in and show Amberlyn what a man really is. I still worry about her being with him, dating him, but I feel like Fiona has it under control. I want to question her decision to allow her cousin to date a rapist piece of shite, but that is her business, not mine. But the moment he does something wrong to her, it will be my fucking business.

Fuckin’ tool.

When the door opens, I look up to see Kane coming toward me with my bottle of whiskey and two cups. I glance at the clock. It’s nowhere near time for us to be done, and while I’m not one to oppose drinking during work hours, I still have a lot to do.

“Trouble in paradise?” I ask since his face is long too.

He doesn’t answer as he falls in the seat in front of me, pouring us both a shot of whiskey before raising his glass up. I meet his in the middle and then bring the cup to my lips, taking a good, hearty swig of the warm liquor. Letting out a noise of satisfaction, I put down my cup. “What’s up?”

“Don’t get mad, okay?”

I let out a breath, taking another swig before I shake my head. “I hate when you say that because I know I’m going to get mad.”

He nods. “Sure, sure, but you have to understand that I took care of the situation. Plus, I would have told ya sooner, but I got drunk as hell last night, slept at the pub, and was late to work. I’ve been swamped with work all day, and I haven’t had time to get back to you about it. I didn’t want to say this over the phone either.”

I’m irritated by the time he is done talking. “Fuckin’ hell, what?”

He takes a quick drink of his whiskey before meeting my gaze. “Amberlyn apparently called things off with Casey last night.”

He pauses. I’m not sure why that would make me mad, but before I can ask him, he says, “And he attacked her.”

I am out of my seat within a second. Leaning on the desk, my arms taut, I ask, “What the fuck? He did what?”

“He got ahold of her, dug his nails in her face, and made her kiss him, I guess. She kneed him in the balls. That’s when I came in, fuckin’ clocked him one, threatened to kill him if he came anywhere near her again, and that was it. She’s all right, a little shook up, but she’s a trooper.”

My nostrils flare as my nails bite into the desk to the point where I am convinced they might just pop off, but I don’t care, I am going to kill Casey fucking Burke.

“Now calm down, Dec. I told you, I took care of it.”

“No, I’m going to fucking kill him,” I say, coming around the desk, but he stops me.

“Won’t do ya any good. I took care of it. He touches her again, you get him then, but now, it won’t do anything but make you look crazy. Let it go.”

I shake my head as I take in a deep, long breath. “I hate him.”

Kane nods. “I know, we both do.”

“Why would he do that to her?”

He shrugs. “He fancies her, I guess.”

“Great way of showing it!”

“She called things off, and he got mad. I don’t get it.”

That doesn’t soothe my anger. “I’ll kill him. I swear to fuckin’ God, he touches her again, I’ll go away for her.”

Kane laughs as he pats my shoulder. “I know it, and I’ll sit right there beside you in the cell.”

That causes a grin to grow on my face. He really is my best friend, but I can’t appreciate that the way I should with the anger still coursing through my veins. I shake my head as I let out a long breath. Looking up at Kane, I ask, “Why didn’t she tell me? I saw her today, I asked about her face, and she didn’t tell me anything about it. Fiona is lying to me too. Why are they lyin’ to me?”

Kane shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

That’s not a good enough answer for me. “Well, I’m going to fuckin’ find out!”

Passing by him, I go out the door and out to where Cathmor is waiting for me by a tree. Kane is running behind me, coming to a halt beside me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to go see Amberlyn and find out why she lied to me.”

“Now?”

“Seems like as good a time as any,” I reply before I greet my horse.

“Well, it just seems like you’re mad. I think you might want to calm down.”

“Well, it’s either her or Casey. Pick one.”

“Ugh, neither? Let’s get drunk,” he suggests, but I know I can’t do that. If I do, I’m bound to do something stupid. I shake my head, looking back at Kane.

“I’ll calm down before I get there. I need to know why she lied to me. Why she didn’t tell me what was going on. Why doesn’t she trust me?”

I have so many questions, but I don’t want to sound like a total eejit, spilling my heart out to my best friend. I feel like I did the day before when she told me she was going out with him, like a failure, something I don’t like. I don’t understand what I have done not to earn her trust. I thought I had been really open with her, but maybe I haven’t. I don’t know, but I know I need answers and I need them now.

Thankfully, Kane doesn’t say anything more, and within seconds, Cathmor is carrying me to where I need to be.

And that’s with Amberlyn.