Declan

No. No. No. No. No!

Gathering Amberlyn in my arms, blood spills all over her dress, and I start freaking out. This did not just happen; Casey did not just shoot my love. Lena drops to the ground beside me, pressing her hand into the wound at the top of Amberlyn’s chest as she screams for help. Tears are flooding my eyes, I can’t breathe, and I don’t know what to do. I move her hair from her face, trying to keep my tears in as I hold her, but then her eyes slowly start to close.

“No, no, love, please stay awake.”

“It hurts,” she cries, tears falling in streams along her cheeks.

“I know, love. Please, don’t close your eyes, don’t leave,” I cry as I lean my head onto hers. I didn’t think he’d shoot. I didn’t even think it was loaded. I thought he was just being a punk, trying to scare me, since he’s never even shot a gun before. I know that for a fact because the gun was his grandda’s old revolver, and he has always been afraid of it. Why didn’t I realize what was going on? Why did she jump in front of me? This should be me—not her.

Wiping my face, her blood smears along it as I whisper against her cheek the lyrics to the song I know calms her. Her song. Her parents’ song. Fuck, I can’t lose her. I refuse to think that as I softly sing while people gather around us and my sister cries. I don’t know what else to do, and when Amberlyn’s eyes fall shut, it’s as if I am having an out-of-body experience because surely, that’s not me losing it. I am screaming, my body shaking, and tears falling in droves down my face.

I usually have it all together, but that’s all changed since Amberlyn has come into my life. Now I’m a mess, and everything is happening so fast. The whole process of getting Amberlyn to the hospital is a blur to me. I remember Kane pulling me away to allow the paramedics to get her. I remember them performing CPR, but not much after that. I don’t even know where Casey went. He meant nothing to me once I saw all the blood coming out of my love. I’m not even sure how I got to the hospital. I remember standing in front of the surgery doors as Fiona stood beside me, crying and trying to hold herself up, for what seemed like hours. Kane and Lena tried to get me to eat, to sit, to relax, but all I could do was watch for any kind of sign that my love was okay. After hours without her while she was in surgery, they finally allowed me to see her. The bullet missed her heart by only inches, but it did nick an artery that they had a hard time fixing. They say she’s not out of the dark and have given her a heavy dose of medication to keep her comfortable while a tube is down her throat, helping her breathe. I didn’t listen much while they talked. I only watched her, lying there as if she is an angel, and thinking how I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.  

My heart is hollow, I can’t breathe, and I don’t know what to do. I’m helpless as I watch my love fight for her life. I don’t understand why this happened. Why did she do this? Why did she think I would be okay without her? I honestly feel like I am dying inside, and I don’t know how to control my emotions as I watch her chest rise and fall from the power of the breathing machine. Her uncle and aunt sit on the other side of her with Fiona between them, all of them crying.

“I had one job—one—to keep her safe and this happens,” Mrs. Maclaster whispers. “I promised Ciara, I promised Tomas, and I can’t believe I failed.”

“Ma, she’s gonna pull through, don’t worry,” Fiona cries as she takes Amberlyn’s hand. “She’s got this. She is the strongest person I know.”

I can only nod as the tears roll down my face. She is the strongest, the most beautiful, and a true gift from God that I can’t let go of yet. As my eyes fall shut, I squeeze her hand as I pray that she has the strength to come back to me. To love me and never leave.

Laying my head on the bed, I suck in a deep breath as I close my eyes. I didn’t want sleep to take me, but the exhaustion is too much. I’m not sure how long I sleep, but when I wake, it is because Kane is shaking me.

“Dec,” he says, crouching down in front of me. “They got him. Casey is in custody, claiming he didn’t shoot her.”

“I wouldn’t have believed it if he was a man and owned up to his crime,” I say sadly, shaking my head. “They know he did though, right?”

“Yeah, they found the gun outside his house in a barrel or something. Your da is flipping out and says he is getting the greatest lawyer to make sure Casey never sees the light of day again.”

I nod. “Good, at least he is doing something.”

“Yeah, they brought flowers for Amberlyn, too. I think they took Lena home. She was a mess.”

Biting into my lip, I whisper, “We all are.”

“She’s gonna make it, Dec. You know that.”

My lip quivers, and I bite into it harder as I look up at him. “I can’t believe she jumped in front of me like that.”

“When you love someone, that’s what you do,” Kane says, cupping my shoulder before squeezing it tightly.

That’s when I realize that I haven’t been able to tell her that I love her. How I’d jump in front of a bullet for her if I had really believed that Casey was going to pull the trigger. He’s a fucking pansy arse; I never thought he had the balls to do this. I knew he was a piece of shit, but I never thought he wanted to kill me. I know I haven’t made his life easy, but shit, he didn’t deserve for me to. He is a wanker, a complete dog, and didn’t deserve anything but the treatment of one. He wouldn’t even admit to hurting my sister, and then he hurt my love. Twice. From this moment on, he is dead to me, and I hope that he gets everything that’s coming to him. As for Amberlyn, I just want her back in my arms, alive and well. I could hold her for eternity, and more than likely, I will once she is conscious.

Kissing the palm of her hand, I look up into her beautifully sleeping face and whisper, “I need you to fight this, love. I never got to tell you I love you. That you are my future, my queen, my everything. Please, Amberlyn. Please, fight this.”

Soon, I find myself singing “The Parting Glass” but in my head, it’s Amberlyn singing the words so beautifully with sweet tears rolling down her face. It calms me, soothes me even, and all I want is the taste of her lips on mine, all I want is for her to look at me the way she did that day. To feel her the way I did and to honestly fall so hard all over again. She has completely stolen my heart, and I can’t do this world without her.

I just can’t.

 

The next few hours are all a blur. Amberlyn’s aunt and uncle come and go, Fiona though, is like me and doesn’t leave unless she has to use the bathroom. Kane has stayed at his post against the wall for most the time too as we watch Amberlyn’s chest rise and fall and wait for her body to heal. When a hand comes onto my shoulder, I look up to find my sister with bloodshot eyes and her lips in a straight line.

“How is she?”

“The same,” I answer. “We are waiting for the doctor.”

“Do you need anything, Declan?”

I look back to see my ma and da in the doorway. Both of them look concerned, but even so, my da still looks like it was such an inconvenience for him to leave the house to come here.

I shake my head. “No.”

“Have you eaten?” she asks, and I shake my head again.

“No.”

“Why don’t you come to get food for everyone with us,” my da suggests. “Get some air.”

“I don’t want to leave her,” I say, lacing my fingers with hers.

“Declan, come with us,” Lena says after a moment. “You need to eat, and you need to be strong for her. Fiona can keep guard, and she’ll call if anything happens.”

“Yeah, Declan, I will. Go get us some food,” Fiona says. “I’m hungry.”

“Then you go get it. I can’t leave her.”

No one says anything, and I lay my head gently on her leg, matching my breathing with hers. Taking in a deep breath before letting it out to calm myself, I feel on the brink of losing it, and I don’t know how to control that.

I feel my father beside me before he speaks, and I wish he’d go away.

“Declan, son, I need to speak with you. Come with us. We’ll be back in no time.”

I don’t want to go, but I can hear it in my da’s voice that he needs me to follow him. Thinking it may concern Casey, I get up and send a look to Fiona. “Call me if anything happens.”

“I will.”

Kane squeezes my shoulder before dropping into the seat I just left and leaning into the bed. I follow my parents and Lena out of the room. Nothing is said as we get the food and head back. I am starting to think this is pointless until my da turns to me and says, “How are you holding up?”

I shrug. “I’m here.”

He nods. “Kane tell you they got that fucker? He is in jail as we speak, and my legal team is building a case. I told them that we would let them know when Amberlyn wakes up.”

I like that he says when Amberlyn wakes up, but it still doesn’t ease my pain. As much as I want Casey to go to jail and rot, I wish more than ever it was he in that bed instead of her. Looking up at my da, I say, “Thank you.”

He looks at the ground as he says, “So she stepped in front of you?”

My throat goes tight as my heart speeds up in my chest. “Yes.”

“My God,” my ma breathes. “That is such a selfless act and just shows what kind of person she is.”

“The most amazing,” Lena says. “I liked her from the moment I met her, and I can’t wait to get to know her once she is better.”

Lena laces her fingers with mine and smiles up at me. I try to return the sentiment, but I don’t think I will smile again until it’s for Amberlyn. I feel my eyes flood with tears, and I want to go back to her, but before I can, my da says, “I was wrong to think what I did of her, and I am sorry for that, son. I plan to tell her the same. I owe her the world for keeping a part of me alive.”

When a tear spills over onto my cheek, I hate myself for looking so weak in front of my father, even though he bared some of his heart to me. I never thought this day would come, but looking up to meet his gaze, I can see the pain and concern that the last couple of days have brought onto him. I look away as I take in a deep breath.

“Thank you,” is all I manage to say before I head back to Amberlyn’s room to hand out everyone’s sandwiches.

Everyone leaves to eat except for Fiona and me. While she eats, I hold Amberlyn’s hand, my sandwich on my legs as I watch her breathe. It makes me feel better to see that she is alive, but I hate that the future is still unsure.

 

It’s well past eight that night when the doctor finally strolls in. My sandwich has been left on my legs, uneaten, and it falls to the floor once I see who has entered. Kane wakes Fiona, and we watch as he looks Amberlyn over and checks her file.

“Good news, everyone. She is ready for the tube to come out.”

I feel as if someone has kicked me in the gut. I bow over, holding the side of the bed. “She is going to be okay?” I ask because that has to mean she is going to be okay. Right?

“We will see. We aren’t out of the dark yet, my friends, but we are close. She is a strong woman, that’s for sure.”

I nod as Fiona’s hands come around my wrist. I look over at her to see the tears spilling over and rolling down her cheeks. “Yeah, she is,” she agrees, sending me a grin.

I swallow hard as I look back at the doctor. “Okay, let’s clear out of the room while I do this, okay? There is a glass window you all can watch from.”

We do as he asks and watch from the window he mentioned. Finally, two nurses come in and they slowly remove the tube. Washing his hands, the doctor looks back at me as he says, “Now we wait for her to wake. Talk to her, don’t shake her or anything, but encourage her to wake up.”

Taking our spots beside her, I take hold of her hand and kiss her palm.

“It looks positive, folks. Stay that way for her,” he says before leaving the room.

Kissing her palm once more, I stroke her wrist as I try to hold back my tears. Fiona is crying, looking extremely stressed out, and I know I look the same. I’m not sure how long it is going to take her to open her eyes, and I hate the unknown. I worry for her, and I find myself praying that she wakes up, that God and her parents allow me more time with her. I promise them that I’ll love her and treat her the way they all would want me to. All I need is more time.

As minutes turn into hours, I start to get frustrated. The doctor said to stay positive, but it’s hard when she isn’t responding to anything I say. I’ve done everything—touched her, talked to her, even kissed her, and nothing has worked. So has Fiona, and she hasn’t moved an inch. Her eyes haven’t fluttered or even given me any kind of hope that they are opening. Thankfully, though, her chest continues to rise and fall, and that is promising, but I still crave to see those aquamarine eyes. To kiss those sweet lips and utter the words that have been dying to come out for days.

“I want to tell you I love you, Amberlyn, please,” I whisper. “Just wake up, look at me. Tell me you love me too.”

“Do you think she can’t hear us?” Fiona asks. “Maybe I should scream at her?”

I raise my eyebrows before shaking my head. “Don’t, she’ll come at her own time.”

She nods before dropping her head onto the bed, looking at me from across Amberlyn’s body. “I hate him, and I know that when she comes to, she’s gonna tell me to forgive him. I don’t know how to do that.”

Biting into my lip, I take in a deep breath. “Yeah, I know.”

Lacing my fingers with Amberlyn’s, I run my thumb along the back of her hand.

“She’s gonna wake up, right?”

I shrug, keeping my eyes locked on Amberlyn. “I fuckin’ hope so.”

But my hopes don’t come true on my time. It’s well into the small hours of the morning and still nothing. That’s three days without my love. Three days of worrying, of my heart breaking, and fear of the unknown getting the best of me. With my head laid against her thigh, I run my fingers along her palm, fighting off sleep just in case she wakes in the middle of the night. Yawning loudly, I close my eyes only for a second to rest them. They are killing me. Hell, everything hurts. I just want her to wake up and tell me she loves me so we can move forward with our lives. Opening my eyes, I take in a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. Leaning up, I glance over at Fiona to see that she is sleeping. She’s been a constant presence during all of this, and I can’t wait to tell Amberlyn how loved she is.

Looking up to admire her angelic face, my gaze meets hers and I jump up, my chair falling behind me. Her eyes are wide as she looks around, running her free hand down her face.

“Amberlyn,” I cry out, cupping her face in my hand before dropping my mouth to hers, basking in the feel of her lips against mine. It brings tears to my eyes, the thought that all this could have never happened again. “God, love, I thought I lost you.”

“I’m alive, right?”

I nod quickly, bringing my lips to hers again as I vow to never stop kissing this gorgeous woman. Pulling back, I look into her flooded-with-tears eyes and say, “Yes, and my God, Amberlyn, I’m so glad because I love you so much.”

A smile pulls at her lips, and my mouth immediately does the same. “I love you,” she whispers.

Relief floods me as my heart feels like it’s about to come out of my chest. Kissing her hard on the lips, I hear Fiona yell before she is hugging us, too. Soon everyone is in the room, fussing and loving all over Amberlyn. Still holding her hand, I watch, while internally, I am thanking the heavens above for keeping her here. My heart has gone back to a normal pace since my eyes met hers, and I’m okay with that. All I wanted was for her to be awake, and I have that now. The road ahead will not be easy, but I’ll be with her every step of the way, loving her and continually telling her how much she means to me.

That she is my everything.

After what seems like hours of people, doctors, and nurses coming in and out of the room, I’m finally left alone with Amberlyn since Fiona went home to shower. She mostly sleeps, and I am fine with that. I just want to watch her, knowing she is going to be okay. Closing my own eyes, my head resting against her hip, I hold her hand, and soon, sleep takes me. I am thankful for it. I am exhausted, and for the first time since I held my hand over her wound, I feel relaxed.

I know she is safe.

That my love is still here with me.

The next morning, she is more alert, looking beautiful but still so weak. I fed her Jell-O, and she actually laughed a little at my horrible job of feeding her. I think I got more on her nose because my hands were shaking so badly. Even though I know she is here and I know she is safe, I’m still so nervous and so scared. I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever to know why she did it. Why she risked her own life for mine? Holding her hand, I kiss her palm as she watches me, her eyes sparkling with love.

Tracing the outside of her hand with my finger, I smile before I ask, “Why did you do it? Why did you take a bullet for me?”

Clearing her throat, she reaches up to hold my face as her head falls to the side, a small grin forming on her face. “Because you have so much to lose. I couldn’t let you die when everyone needs you. I love you more than that.”

“But the only thing that’s worth keeping is you, my love,” I say, choking on my tears. Cupping her face, I press my lips to hers before pulling back to look into her intoxicating eyes. “I’m so glad you didn’t leave me. I couldn’t live without you.”

Running her nose against mine, she whispers, “How could I when our story is just starting?”

Taking in a sharp breath, I nod, holding her gaze. “I love you so much, but please, don’t ever do that again.”

Her smile grows as she slowly blinks before saying, “I’ll remember that next time.”

Chuckling, I kiss her nose softly before moving her hair out of her face. “And you’re right; our story is not over, not by a long shot, my love. We have so much to do, so much to say, and the rest of our lives to do it.”

She smiles as she nods. “I know and I can’t wait, Declan. Especially the part when I am there for you to be a constant support system while you run your distillery.”

My head falls to the side as I hold her gaze. “Huh? What do you mean?”

With her eyes so full of love that my heart aches, she says, “I mean that I need to get ready to be the Whiskey Princess and love my prince until my dying breath.”

While I want that more than anything, I shake my head. “No, love, I refuse to rush you into that.”

Setting me with a look, she asks, “Do you love the distillery?”

I nod. “Yes, but I love you a lot more. I’ll let it go. All I want is you.”

“See the only problem with that is that I love you so much that I won’t let you do that.”

“Amberlyn,” I start, but she shakes her head, holding her hand up to stop me.

“Yes, this isn’t what was planned, and yes, it is fast since we haven’t been dating long. I also know we haven’t had sex but, Declan, we’ll get to it. I love you and you love me, so let’s do this. I believe in us, don’t you?”

My shoulders fall as I cup her face in my hands, my heart coming out of my chest with all the love I have for this girl. “Of course, but it’s so much to ask.”

Slowly shaking her head, her mouth curves in a grin as she says, “How do you know? You haven’t asked.”

Holding my gaze, I can see the challenge in her eyes, and it only makes my heart race more. I know this would be considered crazy in the eyes of some, but to me, it’s not crazy; it’s the only way I want to live my life.

With Amberlyn by my side.

“I don’t have a ring or anything, love. I can’t do this now.”

“I don’t need that stuff. I only need you.”

The way she says it knocks the air out of me. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life, and knowing that Amberlyn is right there with me has me grinning like fool. It’s scary, and I’m not sure how this will all play out, but I know there is nothing else to do than to ask my love to be mine for the rest of my life.

So looking deep in her eyes, I whisper, “Will ya marry me, Amberlyn?”

Not even hesitating, she says, “Hell yes, I will.”