Declan

My lips dust her hair, her temple, and snuggle into her neck as she takes deep breaths, crying into my shoulder. My heart is breaking for her. She tries so hard to be so strong, but the smallest things can just break her sweet, beautiful heart. It honestly kills me because I have no fuckin’ clue what to do. Laying my head against hers, I hold her, no words coming to mind on what to say to her. I’ve never experienced that kind of loss, and I feel a little lost as to how to help her. The book she is holding is stabbing me in the chest, and since I don’t plan on moving any time soon, I slowly remove it, putting it beside us as she continues to sob.

I will hold her forever if she wants me to.

The room is completely quiet; the only sound is her sobs. Then, very faintly, I hear her whispering or maybe singing. It’s so faint, but it’s there. I’m not sure if she wants me to hear it, but I want to know, so I get closer to find that she is singing. The song is an old song that my grandda and da would sing when they were shit-faced, “The Parting Glass.”

I know that my voice is shite, but soon I am singing along with her in the hopes that it helps. Removing her face from my shoulder, she looks up at me with her eyes red and full of tears as her beautiful mouth moves with mine. She sings better than I do, but I don’t think this is the time to tell her that. Soon her tears have stopped falling, and our voices carry throughout the whole room. It’s beautiful.

When the last note leaves our lips, I cup her face in my hands and lean in to press my lips to hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close as she takes over the kiss, running her sweet tongue along my lips. My mouth opens and slowly we play, our tongues teasing each other as my heart beats out of control. When she pulls away, I follow her, wanting one more kiss. Her mouth is so sweet, and I want her to know how much I care for her, that I am here for her. She smiles against my lips, but only for a second before she begins to move her lips with mine, deepening the kiss. Parting only for air, I run my thumb along her jawbone, taking in every single feature of her. The freckles, the pain in her eyes, the redness of her lips and nose, the beauty that is Amberlyn.

“Don’t look at me, I’m a mess. God, I’m so sorry,” she says, looking down at where the book lays.

“Never,” I say, bringing her face back up. “You’re beautiful, and don’t apologize, Amberlyn. I know it has to hurt, and I don’t want you to hide that from me.”

She picks the book back up and smiles at it before looking up at me. Her eyes are watery again as she says, “My mom would have loved this. She wouldn’t have believed that I touched it. Thank you, thank you for giving me this moment.

“Shh,” I whisper, kissing her temple again. “She sees you now. She’s in your heart. Hell, I don’t know if what I’m saying is helping Amberlyn. I’m so sorry.”

“No, you are. I’m sorry,” she says, waving me off. “This happens sometimes. I just lose it.”

“And I’ll be here to help you find the pieces and put you back together,” I promise.

“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispers. Slowly a tear rolls down her cheek and I catch it, wiping it on my shorts before kissing her lips once more. Mainly because I want to, but also because I have no clue what to say. I didn’t plan to say that to her. It just left my lips. Once it was out there, I knew it was true. I wanted to be the person to wipe her tears, to hold her when she cried, and to be the person she confides in. I want to be the person who helps her heal.

I think I’ve fallen for her.

I look up from where I am staring a hole in the ground. My chest hurts, feels like it is cracking open, and I don’t know what that means. Everything is tingling, and I feel dizzy as I hold her gaze. I know she asked me something, but I can’t seem to comprehend what it was. I feel like she’s just kneed me in the gut, and as I look in her eyes, I can’t help but wonder if she feels the same way.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The bathroom? Can I go clean up?”

“Oh, sure, sorry. Right there.”

“The library has a bathroom?”

She says it in awe, and I smile sheepishly. “Yeah.”

She smiles as she lays the book down like it’s a newborn baby before heading to the bathroom. Once the door shuts, I take in a lungful of air and let it out in a whoosh, repeating the motion as I try to figure out what I’m feeling. Could I have fallen this fast? Surely not, but I sure do think I have. For fuck’s sake, what if she doesn’t feel the same? Normal people don’t fall this quickly, and I’m not sure what I am feeling is real. All I know is that when I look into her eyes…all I see is home. My home. Oh man, I’m fuckin’ long gone!

When she comes back out, her face is washed clean of makeup and tears. Sitting beside me on the sofa, she reaches for the book again, slowly running her fingers along the binding and words on the front. “It’s so beautiful.”

“It is,” I agree. “Do you feel better?”

She nodded. “Yes, thank you. You’re pretty amazing, Declan.”

“You are, too,” I admit. Thankfully, she flashes me a winning grin as she looks down at the book.

“I can’t believe I am holding a first edition of my favorite book.”

“All the first editions are on this wall. My great-great-gran was really into books, so she collected a lot, spent a good deal of money on them, too. My grandda joked that she was the reason we were broke in the eighties.”

She laughed. “You guys were broke?”

“Apparently.” I laugh with her.

When she stands, I stand with her and follow her to the shelves that are full of some of the best books I’ve ever read. When I wasn’t running amok with Kane, I was reading or sitting under the desk in my da’s study, listening to him work. But all in all, reading was a big part of my life. Even when the other kids called me a nerd, I ignored them and escaped to a place where I could get lost in the worlds these amazing authors provided me with. And while each of these books blew me away at one time or another, watching Amberlyn discover each one will forever hold a special place in my heart. She is mesmerizing, gasping and squealing over each one she finds that she loves. It seems that we loved most of the same ones, and with each book comes a story of her ma and da. It is nice and a really great way for me to get to know the Amberlyn before she came to Ireland.

When she finds The Hobbit, I can see the tears in her eyes as she falls onto the couch and looks up at me. “My dad bought me this book when I was ten. My mom was so mad because she said I was too young for The Hobbit, but he disagreed and so did I!” Her laughter is intoxicating as she slowly flips through the ancient pages. “I stayed up for eighteen hours reading.”

“I did it in ten, ha!” I tease, and she laughs as I sit down beside her.

“Whatever. How old were you?”

“Fifteen.”

“Ha! I still beat you.”

“Maybe.”

“No maybe about it,” she says, playfully pushing me. “What’s your favorite part?”

“I’m actually reading this again now, and to this day, it’s Smaug. Everything about him is my favorite.”

She nods, her face so bright and beautiful. “I love Bilbo. He said some of the greatest things that I still hold close to my heart.”

“Like?” I ask, and a sweet smile covers her lips.

Clearing her throat, she says, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” I watch as she slowly hugs the book, and when she looks up at me, she whispers, “I told my dad that it was my favorite part of the book because it was all about the adventure, getting mixed up in all the awesomeness of the earth, and he smiled. To this day, I still remember what he said.”

She bewitches me. The love for literature and her father is evident on her beautiful face.

Smiling, I ask, “What did he say?”

“He said it might be a dangerous business but to still allow myself to be swept away. He asked me to never lose my love for adventure, to experience everything that makes me smile. To love with all my heart and to get lost in the things that make my heart race.” She pauses for a second, and then slowly her smile falls as she lets out a long breath. “My mom always said I was a lot like him. That I had this very carefree, adventurous part of me while still keeping my head on straight. When I would come home crying because people would tease me for reading all the time, she promised that one day someone would love that about me.”

Moving my hand onto her knee, I squeeze it as I say, “I think she is right.”

Her lips curve as her eyes leave the book to look at me. “Really?”

“Yes, because I do love that about you.”

Her eyes brighten as she leans into me, her nose moving with mine. “Thank you.”

I move my hand up her neck to cup her jaw as I smile against her lips. “Another thing.”

“Yeah?” she asks.

“I love that quote, too, but also your da was completely right. If I didn’t allow myself to get swept away, I wouldn’t have found mo stór, would I?”

She giggles as she cups my face. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. Every time you say it, it gives me goose bumps.”

“Grand,” I whisper against her lips, “That’s what I want.”

Without another word, I take her lips with mine. She slides hers across mine before she slowly parts her sweet lips for me to deepen the kiss. Threading my fingers in her hair, I hold her close as I move my mouth with hers. My heart is freaking out in my chest, beating so hard as I drink from her succulent lips.

Pulling away, I hold her gaze as I take the book from her lap and lay it on the table. Running my hands down her arms, I take her waist and pull her against me before I slowly lean us back against the couch so that we are facing each other on our sides.

“Is this okay?” I ask since she looks a little worried.

But she nods, thankfully, and that’s all I need before I pull her against my chest for a long, hot kiss. I can feel her heart pounding in her chest, and I know mine is beating at the same pace. She feels so good against me, and I can feel my control slipping. I know I need to get that in check, but I can’t stop, not yet. Our legs tangle, both of us wanting more from the other as we kiss and tease each other. I want her to touch me, to discover my body, but her hands stay tucked at my neck as she assaults me with her lips. I’m not sure what that means, but I have to have more. I have to touch her.

Tearing my mouth from hers, I kiss down her jaw to her chin before running my tongue down her neck. She lengthens it for me, giving me more room as her gasps fill the room. Her hands are shaking, but somehow, she snakes them up my neck to my head where she pulls off my hat, throwing it to the side before she is tangling her fingers in my hair, causing me to groan against her neck. My dick is harder than a rock, and I know she can feel every inch of me, but I am too lost to worry about it.

Kissing down her neck, I run my tongue down the valley of her breasts. I want more, but her dress isn’t allowing it. Pulling away, I look into her heavy-lidded eyes and I swear I could come at the sight of her beautifully flushed face. Taking in a deep breath, I ask, “Can I unbutton these?”

I tug at the buttons on her dress, and she lets out a breath. “What is gonna happen if you do?”

I can only blink as my gaze stays locked with hers, not really sure what I should say here. I go with the truth. “I am going to kiss and nibble on your breasts.”

“Are we going to have sex?” she asks, and my dick strains against my shorts from hearing her say that.

“I don’t know. Do you want to?”

She bites into her lip, and I know she doesn’t. She isn’t ready, and that’s fine. So before she can answer, I say, “No, my love, we won’t. We’ll only go as far as you want. Let me know when you want to stop. Okay?”

She nods, and I drop my lips to hers for a long, lusty kiss. When we part, I ask again, “Can I unbutton your dress?”

“Only if you take your shirt off,” she whispers. Sitting up quickly, I pull my shirt up and over my head before throwing it on the floor. Her eyes graze over my chest before reaching out to touch me softly. Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath when her lips touch my burning hot skin. Tangling my hand in her hair, I gasp for breath as she nibbles and teases my skin with her mouth. Her lips are a gift from God, and everything inside me is tight as she licks along my shoulder, tracing my tattoo with her silky tongue. It becomes too much, and I know I need to take this back over. Bringing her mouth to mine, I kiss her long and hard before I lay her back on the couch. Her eyes holding mine hostage as I slowly flick each button open with my fingers until her breasts are unveiled to me. And boy, what a sight they are. Silky, pale skin trapped behind a white, lace bra, her bright pink nipples standing at attention. Cupping one, I run my tongue along it, kissing it before doing the same to the other. My fingers find her tight bud and I squeeze it, making her squirm against me before taking her mouth with mine again. She is so hot, so sexy, and I never want this to stop.

Running my lips down her neck again, I lick and feast on her breasts as my hand runs up her leg to her thigh. I can feel the heat from between her legs, and I want to bury myself in her, but I know that can’t happen. Not now, not today, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel her as long as she’s okay with that. Tearing my mouth away from her breast, I pull back some to look in her eyes as my hand travels up her thigh, cupping her ass. She moves her hand up to my face, running her thumb along my jaw as her eyes hold mine. Her movements are jerky and sort of make me think she is nervous.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, not only because it’s true, but also to ease her nerves. Like I wanted, she smiles before meeting my lips with hers. Kissing her, I press myself into her, causing her to gasp against my lips. She kisses the side of my mouth, then my jaw, and my eyes drift shut as she runs her lips and tongue down my throat. I move my hand to her hip, squeezing her as she nibbles at my neck, teasing me the way I did her. When she rubs herself against my raging hard-on, I almost cry out. Instead, I take her chin in my hand and kiss her long and hard. Our kisses are demanding, hot, and I’m not sure how much I can take.

Parting only an inch, I whisper, “My love, I have to touch you.”

“Yes,” she says as a breath.

Biting into her lip, her eyes lock on mine. I know she trusts me because she lies on her back, her hands coming to her sides as she watches me. Her hand is so close to my dick, and I want her to touch it, but my need to touch her is greater. Moving my hand down her breast, over her belly, I pull her dress up to see that her underwear matches her bra. Biting into my lip, my hand shakes as I trail a finger slowly along the lips of her sweet pussy. She gasps, and I look down to find her watching me. With my eyes locked with hers to watch for hesitation, I move her panties and slowly slide my finger inside her dripping wet folds.

She gasps again, biting her lip as I find her clit, slowly moving my finger against it. My dick is throbbing in my shorts. My breathing is labored and matches hers as I move my finger in figure eights around her clit. Her moans are deafening and they drive me wild, assaulting every single part of me. I want her so fucking badly that I can’t see straight as I pick up speed, needing to bring her to release. I drop my lips to hers, capturing her moans in my mouth as she squirms underneath my hand.

Fuck, she is hot.

It doesn’t take long before her nails are digging into my chest as she seizes up, her body going completely still as she comes. As she pants against my lips, I remove my hand and bring her in close, kissing her nose and her temple before taking her mouth with mine. Slowly, we kiss, and I swear my heart is coming out of my chest it is beating so hard. I’ve never almost gotten off by watching a girl come, but Amberlyn nearly brought me there. My cock is straining and it hurts, but seeing her come like that, so beautifully, makes it all worth it.

Pulling away, she cups my face as her eyes search mine, and I know this is as far as we are going.

“I don’t know what to say…” she whispers.

“Say nothing. Let’s rest here together for a bit.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, and I nod.

I know that later I’ll have to take care of myself, but all this was worth the blue balls I’m suffering at this particular moment. Pulling her skirt down, I bring her in closer, kissing her temple before closing my eyes. A moment passes, and I can feel her watching me. When I open my eyes, she smiles.

“You really know how to show a girl a good time.”

My lips curve as I ask, “You think so?”

“Oh yeah, libraries and an orgasm are the epitome of a good time for a girl.”

I laugh as I nestle my nose in her hair. “I’m glad you are having a good time, my love.”

She giggles as she cuddles closer into me. “The best.”

I couldn’t agree more. As I watch her close her eyes to go to sleep, I can’t help but think the thought I had earlier that I was falling for Amberlyn was completely mad. I wasn’t falling—I already have fallen…

Completely and entirely in love with her.