Declan

Reaching across the table, I take hold of Mr. Maclaster’s hand and smile.

“Thanks for coming in.”

Walking around the table, he comes to my side, cupping my shoulder. “Anything to help out family,” he says and I smile.

“Not yet, three more weeks,” I say with a wink and he laughs.

“Eh, you’ve been family since she agreed to marry ya.”

That warms my heart for sure, and I know he can see that through the grin I shoot him. “Grand, thank you,” I say with a nod. “So you’ll come in every Wednesday?”

He slaps his hands together before nodding. “Yup, I’ll be here, until the missus complains. When that happens, I’m done.”

“Of course,” I say in agreement. “I appreciate this.”

“I want ya to succeed. Does well for my niece.”

I laugh. “I think we both know it isn’t about Amberlyn.”

He laughs too, a flash of guilt coming over his face. “Eh, I may be getting a bit bored, but don’t let that leave this room.”

“Wouldn’t tell a soul,” I promise. He shakes my hand once more, and I watch as he walks away, heading for the stairs to leave. Starting next Wednesday, Mr. Michael Maclaster will be working as my part-time marketing advisor. He says he’ll only work that day, but I have a feeling he might come in more than he thought, or maybe work at home. Either way, I couldn’t be happier; things are moving. My da doesn’t even come to the office anymore. After his retirement party last week, he’s slowly been cleaning out his office, and I haven’t seen him for the last two days since Cathmor has gone into production.

It’s been fuckin’ fantastic.

All I need is for Amberlyn to be happy and things will be excellent. Which, I think I got myself a plan for that. Heading out of the boardroom, I start toward my office. My da offered me his office, but I like mine. Probably ’cause it’s big enough for Kane and me. Finding my best mate sitting behind his desk, I send him a nod before shutting the door.

“How’d it go?”

“Bloody good, he starts next week and had some great ideas. I’m happy,” I say with a grin as I wake my computer up to send some emails.

“Awesome, Fiona said that he was excited and was gonna take the job. Even Sheila was supportive. He must be bored or something.”

I laugh. “Yeah, he just said that to me.”

“Grand, this will be good for him then.”

“And the distillery.”

“Oh, for sure. Smart man, he is.”

“That’s for damn sure,” I agree, hitting send on an email to my da before opening another. Even though my da isn’t here, I still try to keep him in the loop with this. Just in case I get stuck, he’s always up to date and can help me. “Let me run something by ya real quick.”

Looking up at me, his brow rises as he nods. “Yeah?”

“Amberlyn’s been on me about something, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“All right…”

“She doesn’t want to live at the house,” I explain, and even he is surprised by that.

“Really?”

“Yeah, she hates it. My mom is always walking in on us and shite. She doesn’t like people waiting on her hand and foot, as she says, and she just isn’t happy.”

Kane nods slowly, a worried look on his face.

“What?” I ask.

He shakes his head and shrugs. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me. What?”

He lets out a breath and looks down, messing with the pen in his hand. Finally, after a moment, he looks up at me. “You’re not gonna dump her, are ya?”

I can’t help it. I laugh. Shaking my head, I meet his worried gaze. “Not in a million years.”

“Oh,” he says, letting out a long breath. “Thank God!”

I’m still laughing when Kane joins in with me as I lean back in my chair, kicking my legs up on the desk. Calming down, I look back over at him.

“All I saw was ya going back to the way you were before her, and I really don’t want that guy back. I’m happy, and I want ya to be happy too.”

A grin pulls at my lips as I nod. “I know, and I am happy. But I can’t be when she isn’t. I don’t know how to make her happy, short of getting us a place.”

“Yeah, but is that what ya want?”

I shake my head. “To be honest, no. But,” I say and then pause, thinking for a moment. “I think it was yer da who told me once that marriage is about compromise. Remember that time yer ma painted the cabinet pink, I think, and he lost it. But she said it was what she wanted, and even though it was visibly not something he wanted, he let it be.”

Kane laughs as he looks up at the ceiling. “I do remember that. Crazy coots.”

I nod in agreement. “Sure, but I figure I won’t be happy unless she is happy. Living in my home is what I thought my married life would be, but I’m not marrying someone who wants that life. She just wants me.”

“Which is what ya wanted from the beginning,” Kane adds, and I couldn’t agree more. “Ya always wanted a girl who didn’t want this life, and ya found her. So don’t expect her to live the life you have.”

“No, I know,” I say with a nod. “I mean, she doesn’t want that part, the house, the service, and parties, but man, Kane, she loves helping people.”

He grins at me as he nods. “She’s a great lass, Dec. Ya did good.”

“I did,” I agree, my heart fluttering in my chest like a damn schoolboy. “Did ya see she started a coat drive for those kids?”

“I did and then that yous two is gonna build that library.”

“Yeah,” I say with a grin. “She wants to work there once it opens.”

“She’d be good at that. She’s a nerd at heart.”

I laugh. “Yeah, when she isn’t at school or work, she’s either in my bed or reading.”

He just grins at me as he nods, and he doesn’t have to say anything. I know what I need to do. “So I have to find somewhere, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “But maybe ya can find somewhere and let it be a compromise, still?”

“Yeah? How?”

“Get a place on the grounds or have something built for ya.”

What a great idea! Kicking my legs down, I smack my desk before pointing over at him. “You’re a fuckin’ genius, Kane.”

“Eh, stop. Yer makin’ me blush,” he teases as he turns to his computer. “Your ma won’t like it.”

“I don’t care,” I say. “It isn’t about her; it’s about Amberlyn.”

* * *

When I get back to the house, I feel good.

I spent most of the afternoon on the phone with different contractors and have someone who wants to meet with Amberlyn and me to look at designs for a house. He’s gonna draw up something nice, he says, and I believe him. I’m pretty sure my family has used him before, but first I have to talk this over with my da.

Walking toward my da’s study, I knock on the door and wait for him to tell me to come in. Opening the door, I find my ma is in the room too. Well, I guess I’m gonna tell them both, then.

“Declan, sweetheart,” she says as I come in, falling into the chair beside her.

“Hey Ma, Da,” I say, sending a nod to him.

“Got your email, good work. Michael will be good for us.”

“I agree,” I say, resting my ankle against my knee.

“Did you get the email from production?”

I shake my head, pulling out my phone. “No, when?”

“Just a minute ago,” he says, a grin on his face. “Cathmor goes to stores and pubs in three months.”

Grinning, I nod. “Bloody fantastic,” I say, my heart pounding in my chest. Pride is seeping out of my pores, and I can’t wait to tell Amberlyn. First though, I have to get this taken care of. “I didn’t come to talk about that, though.”

“No?”

“What is it? Are you okay?” my ma asks before running her fingers through my hair lovingly. Moving away, sending her a sheepish grin, I nod.

“Yeah, Ma,” I say, covering her hand with mine. Looking at my da, I say, “I was on the phone with Mr. Molloy today.”

“Molloy? Why?” my da asks.

“Who’s that?” My ma wants to know.

“Contractor. What do we need, son?”

“A new house,” I say, letting out the breath I am holding as they both stare me down. “There is some land out by the old church and lake. I think I want to build there, if Amberlyn likes it, of course.”

“A house? For what?” my ma asks as my da leans back in his chair, crossing his arms.

Clearing my throat, I look over at my ma. “She ain’t happy, Ma.”

“Who? Amberlyn?”

“Why’s that? Is she not being treated right?” my da asks, and I shake my head.

“No, not anything like that. She just doesn’t want to live here. She doesn’t like being waited on and having my ma walk in on us while we have sex.”

My ma blushes as she looks away, and my da booms, “Noreen, I told ya to stop that.”

“I don’t mean to; it just happens.”

“Every week, it seems,” I supply and shake my head. “But it’s more than that. She wants her own space, and I can respect that.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, but my ma sure doesn’t.

“It just seems a little daft to build a house when this one is perfect for all of us. Take your grandparents’ side; they aren’t here anymore anyway.”

I shake my head. “But they’ll be back once they’re done traveling. I want her to be happy, and for that to happen, I gotta move her to our own place.”

“That just seems a little ridiculous, don’t ya think, Ivor?”

Looking over at my da, I see that he is really thinking it through. His chin is resting in his hand as he moves his thumb along it. Looking up at me and then my ma, he shakes his head. I don’t realize I’ve been holding my breath until he goes to speak. What he says matters. Ultimately, he owns everything on this land. If he doesn’t want me building on it, I won’t be building. Which means I won’t even be living on my land because I’m gonna give Amberlyn what she wants.

Shaking his head, he holds my gaze. “I don’t, Noreen. It worked for us because my grandparents didn’t live here. We really did have everything to ourselves. It’s different for them, especially when Lena lives here too.”

“Ugh, I don’t know. I think it’s best they live here. In his home,” she says, obviously not agreeing at all.

Sucking in a breath, I want to tell her to be quiet, but when I glance at my da, I feel like he is agreeing with me. I know, even I’m surprised, but his brows are pulled together and he is shaking his head once more. Looking at her, he speaks again, “Yeah, but I get where he is coming from. When you love someone very much, you don’t want to share them or be without them even for a second; I understand that. I’ve felt like that for ya ma my whole life, and I see it in ya eyes when you look at Amberlyn. You love her. Like I love your ma.”

I don’t know about that, I think my love is stronger, but who am I to disagree. Nodding, I say, “I do. I love her and want to make her happy.”

He smiles before leaning back in his chair. “Then it’s settled. If that’s what ya want, I’m fine with it. With Lena moving to Dublin, it will be nice to just be me and your ma.”

While I want to be happy that he agrees with me, I’m a little stunned. “What? Lena is moving to Dublin?”

He nods as my ma says, “Yeah, she needs a change of scenery, from what she is saying.” She waves her hand in a dismissive way. “What she needs is to go find Micah and take him back.”

I stand, kissing her forehead. “Nah, she won’t be happy. Dublin will be good for her. Thanks, guys, gonna go tell my bride the good news.”

I turn to head to the door, and as I reach for the handle, my da stops me. As I turn around, we lock eyes and he smiles. “I’m proud of ya, son. She’s costing me a lot of money, but ya sure do love her and she adds to your life. Which is what ya needed. Someone that constantly adds. Makes it better.”

“Yeah, she does.” I scoff as my grin grows, “And she’s worth every penny.”

Heading out the door, I start to the stairs to go to my room. We have dinner in about an hour, so I can tell her the news and then take her to bed to celebrate.

Good plan, I think.

But when I open our door, she is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, and I can tell she is seething mad. My brows come together as I shut the door behind me. She is just staring at me, which isn’t like her. She usually greets me at the door, kissing me senseless before asking how my day was. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

“Amberlyn, love? What’s wrong?”

Standing up, she puts her hand on her hips, holding my gaze with her angry one. “Oh, nothing much, just had myself a lovely conversation with your mother!” she says, her sentence dripping with sarcasm.

“Ah fuck,” I mutter, falling into the chair. “What happened? I just spoke to her; everything seemed fine.”

“What happened?! Oh, let me tell you!” she yells, and I look up surprised. Amberlyn doesn’t yell at me. Her eyes are filling with tears, and I stand back up, walking toward her, but she puts her hands up. “Not only did your mom know mine, but she dumped her as a friend for your dad.”

My brows are probably in my hairline. “Really?”

“Yes! But that’s not the kicker! She stopped being my mom’s friend because your dad made her.”

Looking at her, I can understand that this is upsetting to her, but I really don’t think she should be hostile and taking it out of me. I didn’t do anything. “I’m sorry, love, but why are ya so mad about this?”

That only makes her madder. “Because she then proceeds to tell me that he changed everything about her. That being an O’Callaghan wife, you lose yourself!”

I shake my head. “That won’t happen to ya. I’ve told ya that.”

“See, that’s what I said, but then she made some good points,” she snaps, and I don’t know why I am being dragged into this.

“Well, please, let me have ’em,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Would you want me to work after I have our first child?”

I feel like I’m walking into a trap, but I answer her. Truthfully. “No, sweetheart, I wouldn’t, but only for the fact I don’t want anyone caring for our wee baby but you.”

“But what if I don’t want to raise our wee baby!” she says, mocking my accent. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not, so I go for the latter since there are other things to be offended about.

I eye her as my heart starts to pound in my chest. “I’m sorry, love, but I feel like you’re trying to trap me. I don’t know the right answer here.”

“Just tell me the damn truth!”

Holding her gaze, I shake my head once more. “I’d try to talk ya out of it. At least till the baby is old enough to talk.”

She holds my gaze, hers darkening as she shakes her head. “Do you want me to go to school? To work now?”

I feel like I’m digging myself an even deeper hole, but I answer her truthfully. “No, love, I don’t. But only because I’m not used to it. I’ve always been told the wife stays home, the man works.”

“We don’t live in the fucking 1920s, Declan!”

“Yeah, I know, but that’s the way it is around here. I want to provide for ya, make sure you have everything because I gave it to you.”

“No! I want to work for what I get!”

“That’s fine,” I say, holding my palms up. “Calm down, now. No reason to be this upset.”

“Yes, there is. You’re going to try to change me!”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are!” she yells, turning to head for the bedroom. “One thing at a time, and I’ll let it go ’cause I love you, and soon I’ll be unhappy and miserable!”

Following her, I am completely fed up. This is pointless and the stupidest thing in the world to be fighting about. “The hell ya will! I’ll make sure you’re always happy!”

“Oh, by throwing shiny things in my face or giving me things I ask for, but all while plotting to run my life. Why did you start the library thing? Just so you can shove it in my face when I ask to move? So I wouldn’t leave this damn house?”

Completely taken aback by that, I glare. “I mean, fuck Amberlyn, what do ya think of me? Do ya really think I’d do that to ya? Manipulate ya like that?”

She glares back at me. “I don’t know. I don’t want to think that, but I’m just so mad! Your mom is sitting there, telling me she is just warning me because she doesn’t want me to go through what she did.”

“So because my ma doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut, I’m being yelled at?”

Whipping her head toward me, her brow furrows more. “So a woman needs to just shut her mouth and do what a man says? Is that what you mean by that?”

Looking up at the ceiling, I let out frustrated yell. When I open my eyes, she’s got a bag and is stuffing clothes in it.

“Where do ya think you’re going?”

“Why? You going to tell me I can’t go?”

I glare, my blood boilin’ inside me. I don’t know how this escalated so quickly, but it’s just ridiculous. Still, I really don’t even know what I did wrong.

“Really, Amberlyn?”

“I’m gonna go to Fiona’s. We need to have some time apart,” she says as a tear rolls down her cheek. “Maybe we rushed into this.”

“Really?” I snap.

“Yeah, so you wouldn’t lose your precious distillery.”

I feel as if she’s slapped me. Taking ahold of her arms, I turn her to look at me. “Do ya think I care about that fucking distillery more than you? Is that it?”

“No, but your mom thinks that’s the reason you’re doing everything to make me happy. So that I don’t leave. After that, you’ll run my life.”

I am going to fucking kill my ma. I’ve never ever said something like that before, but this is insane. Holding her gaze, I practically plead with my eyes as I say, “I don’t care about that distillery more than you, Amberlyn. I’m not doing this to trap ya. I love ya and will give it all up,” I say, and she looks down, sucking in a deep breath. “Tell me something. Have I treated you like what you are accusing me of? What is this about? Are ya nervous? Cold feet? What? Tell me. What do I have to do here? I’m not gonna be my da; I’m gonna be me. The man ya love. And I’m gonna make ya happy.”

Shaking her head, she looks back at me, her eyes full of tears. Pushing away from me, she goes to the window, crossing her arms over her body. “No, I want to marry you because I love you with every fiber of my body, but I guess I’m scared. I don’t want you to change me.”

“I’m not going to. Have I yet?”

“No, but all I can think is that my mom was a good judge of character. She loved with all her heart, and if she could love your mom, she had to be a person worth my mom’s time. But now, I don’t even like being around your mom. And I could be friends with a rock, Declan! It scares me!”

Taking a cautious step toward her, I bend my head to look her in her eyes. “Love, I’m not my da, and yous aren’t my ma.”

She sucks in a deep breath and shakes her head. “I wonder if your dad said the same thing.”

Pulling in a breath through my nose, I stand back and put my hands on my hips. She obviously needs time to think. Nothing I say is gonna change her mind. I could talk until I’m blue in the face and she isn’t gonna listen to me. She’ll have to do it on her own. Trust that I love her and I would never hurt her. I don’t want her to leave, but if that’s what she wants, then I’ll do it.

“Fine, get ya bag packed. I’ll take ya.”

She looks up. “What?”

I look at her, confused. “Don’t ya want to leave?”

She nods slowly, but I can see in her eyes she doesn’t. She’s scared. That’s all there is to it, and maybe Fiona can help with that. I wish it were me, and I feel it should be me, but apparently not. I hope though that she says no.

But, unfortunately, she doesn’t. “Yes.”

My heart sinks as I nod. “Fine, then I’ll take ya,” I say, my own voice breaking. “But don’t come back unless you want to marry me and you trust that I won’t be my da.”

Reaching for the door, I stop at the sound of her voice. “Are you mad?”

I look back at her from the where I’m holding the door handle. “Furious, but that don’t mean I don’t love ya and can let this go the second you get your head out of your arse. But till then, I’m gonna do as ya ask. Ya want to leave, let’s go.”

She hesitates and I pray that she’ll stay, but then she grabs her bag. Opening the bedroom door, I slam it shut just at the main door to my suite opens and my ma pops her head in. “Declan, I heard yelling.”

“Yeah?” I ask, wiping my face free of the tears that burn my cheeks. “Probably the sounds of my fiancée deciding to leave to go to her cousin’s because you chose to warn her about how I’m gonna change her.”

She pauses, her eyes glassing over as I hold them with heated ones. “Why would ya do that to me, Ma? To her? Scare her like this? Do ya really think that of me?”

“I don’t want her to end up like me,” she answers.

Confused, I shake my head. “If yer unhappy, change it. Don’t bring everyone down with ya because you decided to be unhappy.”

“I didn’t decide this; it was chosen for me.”

“Again, not my fault or Amberlyn’s. Yours and da’s. I’m not him. I won’t hurt her. I actually love her. Just like I think he loves you.”

“And I love him, but now everyone is leaving me. I’m lonely.”

I can’t believe what I am hearing. Shaking my head, I yell at her as my skin burns with anger. “So you’re trying to ruin my marriage? To keep me here?”

“No, Declan, no. I love you and I want you to be happy,” she pleads, reaching for me, but I brush her to the side. “But I loved her ma, and I don’t ever want her to live like I have.”

Glaring, I go toe-to-toe with her, glaring at her. “She fuckin’ won’t because I’m gonna make her happy and love her for her. I’m not your husband. I’m you. The you from before what now stands in front of me.”

Tears stream down her face as we hold each other gazes. It’s like I’m not looking at the woman that has loved me unconditionally my whole life. The person who I believed loved her life. No, I don’t even know this person, nor do I have the need to. She might have pushed Amberlyn away from me.

“Declan, I’m sorry.”

Shaking my head in complete disgust, I hear my bedroom door open and then Amberlyn behind me. “It’s too late for sorry now, Ma. Yer words have spread like wildfire, and now I have to figure out how to put them out.”

Looking back at Amberlyn, I see that she is looking down, her bag on her shoulder, tears falling down her cheeks. I want to wrap her up in my arms, kiss her, tell her it all will be fine, but I know she won’t let me. My ma has poisoned her vision of me. Glaring back at my ma, I fight back the tears. I’m supposed to love her unconditionally, but how can I when she may have taken my life away? Clearing my throat of the sobs that threaten to break free, I basically growl, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take Amberlyn to her cousin’s because she doesn’t want to be here.”

Not waiting for either of them to say anything, I head for the door, stomping to the front of the house. My heart breaks a bit, but I believe in Amberlyn and me. I do, and maybe by the time I get to Fiona’s, she’ll remember she does too.

Or maybe my ma has ruined everything.