Declan

Like I wanted, Amberlyn falls asleep with her nose against my neck. It’s cold, but I don’t mind; hopefully, she’ll warm up a bit. Closing my eyes, I want to fall asleep too. I’m so damn tired. It’s been a long two weeks. Worrying constantly if she is okay and praying that she would heal. By the grace of God, she is, but still I’m finding it hard to sleep. My mind is going a hundred kilometers per hour.

She is so set on marrying me, but I can’t help but think I did this all wrong. I was wrong for holding that part of me from her. I should have told her about the deadline, but I didn’t. I was wrong to ask her when she was drugged out of her mind, even if she wanted it. I just feel wrong. I didn’t even ask Mr. Maclaster if I could marry her. I went about this completely wrong, and I just have this dire need to fix it.

I honestly wish I could go back and change everything. I wish I had made Lena and Amberlyn go inside. I wish I would have taken care of Casey myself, been done with him and then gone inside to confront the issue at hand. She had every right to be mad at me. I was wrong to hold that from her, and I needed to make it right. But it all went to shit. And now I am going to marry a girl that when we get older, our babies running around us, she’ll go, “Your da and I got married after I was shot. And he asked me in the hospital because he was gonna lose his distillery, and I couldn’t let that happen.” I don’t want that to be the memory of my asking her. I want it to be beautiful and to blow her away.

Detangling myself from her, I kiss the side of her mouth before slowly getting out of the bed. When I look down, she is still sleeping blissfully. I pray she doesn’t have those dreams she’s been having. They scare me, but at the same time, comfort me. I believe in spirits and all that, and to know her ma came back to say she approves of me is straight wicked. But still, they upset Amberlyn and have her on edge. I just want her to sleep soundly, with no cares in the world. I need her to heal. I want to make a life with her.

Making sure she is covered well, I head out the door, and when I shut it, Fiona opens hers. She looks at me and then behind me, her brow raised. “Whaddya doin’?”

“I’m gonna go talk to your da.”

Her brows don’t move as she asks, “For what? Do you want me to sit with her?”

“You can, but she is dead to the world.”

“Okay, what you want with my da?”

“Wanna ask him if it’s okay to marry her,” I say slowly, my eyes trained on hers. “She already said yes, but I feel wrong about it. I want to mend my wrongs with rights.”

She nods, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s mad that you didn’t ask.”

“I figured.”

“And the fact that she blocked a shot for you.”

“Again, I know, and while I wish I could take it ba—”

“Ya can’t, and she wouldn’t want you to. She loves ya, Declan, and she did it because of that.”

I look down, running my fingers through my hair with a nod. “I love her.”

“Good. Go on then, ask my da. I’ll keep my door open in case she wakes up.”

“Thank you,” I say, sharing a long look with her. She is so good for my best mate, Kane, it’s insane. I always believe that people were born for other people, and Fiona is that for Kane. As my Amberlyn is for me.

Turning to go downstairs, I pause and look back at her. “Do you think we’re mad?”

She smiled. “Yeah, I think it’d be mad to get married now, but she told me about the distillery and she isn’t budging. I tried,” she says sheepishly. “She’s so young, but like I said, she loves you, and I believe in yous two. She doesn’t make careless choices. She believes that she is making a sound decision, and I believe in her.”

I know she is right and it does derail me a bit, but then I know we are going to have a good life together. We are young, yes, but it will work. I pray, at least, it will. “You know I’ll love her until I die.”

“Oh, I know. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be so agreeable.”

She sends me a grin and I can’t help but to throw one back at her. Having Fiona’s approval is almost enough. She doesn’t hold anything back. She lets the world know what she is thinking. She means a lot to Amberlyn, and to know she supports us is good. Real good. Turning to head down the stairs, my heart starts to knock against my chest. I know that the Maclasters don’t think too highly of me right now, but I feel doing this will better their view of me.

I find them downstairs, Mrs. Maclaster in her chair reading and Mr. Maclaster on the computer.

When she sees me, she flies out of her chair, her eyes wild as she asks, “She okay?”

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry, didn’t mean to alarm ya.”

She places her hand on her chest, and I notice that Mr. Maclaster stands too, the same look of distress on his face. “You look worried.”

“Oh, sorry, that’s because I’ve come to ask for your blessing to marry Amberlyn,” I say, and I really wish I would have thought that out a bit. They are both taken aback as they look at me in disbelief.

“What?” Mrs. Maclaster asks. “Didn’t you already ask her?”

Mr. Maclaster crosses his arms across his wide chest, his dark eyes set on me as I nod slowly. “Yes, I did. But I don’t feel right the way it happened. I know I am supposed to ask you two first, but with everything that happened, I kind of got lost in the process. I apologize for that.”

They both eye me for a moment as sweat breaks out across my forehead. “She’s so young. Only twenty.”

“Yes, I know—”

“Just because you can lose your distillery doesn’t mean she should have to marry you. You’ve only dated a short time,” Mr. Maclaster says, his voice sharp.

Yeah, this is not going well. Not at all.

“I know. While the distillery issue is the reason that I asked so early, I’ve always known I was gonna marry her. She’s beautiful, smart, and so damn perfect in my eyes.”

“We know all that,” Mrs. Maclaster says. “But she hasn’t lived. She went from caring for her mother and not having any interaction with anyone to coming here, and bam! You are in her face. She hasn’t experienced heartbreak, or university, nothing. She’s still so young and naïve to it all. You come in, a prince of Mayo, and what girl wouldn’t jump at the chance to marry ya? I think yer a sweet man, Declan, I do, but I feel this is rushing it a bit. How do you know that this is going to work? I know you don’t believe in divorce, so what happens when she isn’t happy?”

“I’ll do everything to make her happy,” I say, a little more sharply than I intended, but I feel under attack. Something I don’t care for one bit. “I understand you perfectly, truly, but I love her. So much, and she loves me. I know we are young, I know this is rushed, but I promise you, she won’t ever be unhappy. And if the moment comes when she is, I’ll fix it. I’ll make her happy; I’ll give her the world. If, after all, she decides she doesn’t want to be with me, then I’ll let her go. I’ll lose it all for her. As long as she is happy.”

Silence falls in the room, the only sound the breeze from the window, the curtains smacking against the wall. The TV is on mute, and my heart is pounding in my ears. I swallow hard as Mr. Maclaster clears his throat, looking deep into my eyes.

“That’s the thing, she won’t let you go. She’s a fixer, a caring, sweet soul. She’ll be unhappy before she allows anyone to hurt. And that’s what worries me. Is she marrying you to save your distillery, or because she actually loves you?”

I nod. “I couldn’t agree more, Mr. Maclaster, but if she didn’t love me, then why did she almost die for me?”

His eyes darken as he nods slowly, looking away and falling into his seat. Mrs. Maclaster doesn’t move, her eyes still trained on mine as she asks, “Can you not see if you can get more time? A year maybe?”

“I can,” I agreed. “I planned to anyway, but I’d still like your blessing.”

Mrs. Maclaster looks over at her husband, and they share a long look. I feel like it’s a private moment, so I look away as I fight for breath. If they say no, what will I do? Can I marry Amberlyn without their consent?

Yeah. I can.

I know that is horrible, but I can’t live without her. I just can’t.

“Declan, you are a good man. We know you’ll take good care of her. We’d like for ya to wait a little bit, but if that can’t happen, then yes, you have our blessing,” she says as she comes toward me. Placing her hands on my arms, she smiles. “Thank you for giving us this chance to talk to you.”

“I should have done it before.”

“Yes, but I am thankful you did now.”

I nod and she cups my cheek as she searches my eyes. Clearing her throat, she says, “I think my brother would have liked you. I know that my sister-in-law would have. You remind me a lot of my Tomas, God rest his soul. He was a driven man, to himself, until Ciara came along. She bewitched him from the start, and I know that Amberlyn has done the same for ya.”

“She has,” I agree, holding her gaze. “And to honor her parents, I’ll love Amberlyn enough for them and myself.”

Mrs. Maclaster smiles, her eyes filling with tears as she nods. “Yes, well, on with ya then. You have our blessing.”

* * *

I don’t even remember driving to the offices of the distillery.

When I get there, I park the car beside my da’s and lock it as I head inside. It’s been two weeks since I’ve set foot near these offices or even the distillery I am fighting to keep, but thankfully, nothing looks out of sorts. Things have been running without a glitch from what Kane has said.

I greet my da’s assistant before pushing his door open without her consent. If he doesn’t want to see me, that’s just too damn bad. We have things to discuss. Thankfully, he is alone and looks up from his desk, obviously surprised to see me.

“Everything all right?”

I nod as I drop down into the chair in front of his desk. “Yes, Amberlyn is home sleeping.”

“Grand, I’m glad she is recovering.”

“Me too,” I agree. “Have I missed much?”

My fingers tap nervously on the arms of the chair as I wait for his answer.

“Not really. Although, Mindy has notes for ya from the last two meetings. Everyone understood your absence. Your ma has done well, keeping it pretty cut-and-dried for the media. The extra security around the hospital helped too. I am just glad that she is okay.”

“Me too. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

“She saved my son; I owe her more than what I’ve done.”

This is a different side to my da and I’m still not used to it, but thankful, nonetheless. Things haven’t been as strained between us. We have actually been getting along all right.

Clearing my throat, I sit at the edge of the chair and meet his gaze. “Since we are on the topic of Amberlyn, I want to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what is it?” he asks, his eyebrows coming up before he shuts his laptop.

“I asked her to marry me,” I say, and a small smile graces my da’s usually stern face.

“I may have thought differently before, but after the way she has conducted herself, I can’t help but respect the girl. You were right, she is something, and I look forward to getting to know her.”

“She is amazing,” I boast, my heart soaring for her. “But she is young, Da, only twenty. I know I have a deadline that will be up in three months, but surely you can give me some more time. Let us have a long engagement.”

The smile drops so quickly, I almost don’t believe it was ever on his face. Shaking his head, he says, “No, Declan, I can’t do that. You have till October seventeenth to marry the girl or you’ll lose the distillery, and that’s final, son.”

“But Da, I’m her first boyfriend. What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then you end it now,” he says with an annoyed look. “You have three months. Either marry her or let her go.”

“I won’t let her go,” I say with a vengeance. “I love her.”

“I guess we have a wedding to plan, then?” he says simply, looking down at his calendar. “October seventeenth a good day? It’s a Saturday. Be a nice enough time for a wedding, I guess.”

Tears burn my eyes as I look at my legs. “Da, please, a year. Give me a year. Just to make sure she wants to marry me.”

“If you aren’t sure yet, Declan, let her go. You are wasting your time. You need a wife.”

“We’ve only dated two months, Da!” I protest, but he isn’t budging.

“Do ya love her?”

“I do, you know that! That’s why I want to give her more time to make sure she loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of her life.”

“No, you either know or you don’t. Your ma and I met young, Declan, and look at us. I love her more now than I did then.”

“But Da—”

“No. Should we start planning a wedding or not?”

Shaking my head, I know that if I tell him no then Amberlyn will have my arse. She wants this, but it worries me that she won’t ten years down the road. But what am I to do? I won’t let her go, and I know she won’t allow me to give up the distillery, nor do I want to. As much as I don’t want to rush her, I feel we have no other choice in the matter.

Looking up at my father, I nod. “Yes, we will need to plan one.”