Amberlyn

I’m nervous.

So freaking nervous that my knee is bouncing out of control as I ride in Declan’s very expensive car. I’m not sure if he’s had it long, but it smells new and has me afraid to touch anything. I glance over to admire him; he looks simply scrumptious as always, but then I notice that damn beanie. I wish he wouldn’t wear it. I love his curly hair. Shaking my head, I say, “Still with your trusty beanie, I see.”

He smiles over at me sheepishly, causing my body to catch fire. There is something about this man’s smile that makes me come completely undone. He has dimples, and his teeth are so straight and white, which makes me realize that I must have a thing for straight, white teeth because I am hot just watching him smile. I grin as he reaches up, pulling the beanie down some. “I thought about leavin’ it off, but then I remember that I don’t like my hair.”

I reach out, but he moves out of my way, sending me a grin. “Take it off. I like your hair,” I plead, giving him a little pout.

He scoffs. “No way. That pout is cute, hot even, but I need my hat.”

“Why?” I ask, my body liking that he said I was hot a little more than it should.

“’Cause, I just like it on.”

I roll my eyes, letting out a breath as I lean back, mock pouting. “Fine.”

He laughs as he takes my hand in his. The warmth of his hand is consuming and soon I forget about the beanie as his fingers lace with mine. “This is okay?”

I nod quickly because I like the way my hand fits in his. I’ve wanted this, and I am soon watching as his thumb moves across the back of my hand. A smile is pulling at his lips as he drives. His eyes are on the road, and I wish they were on me. I have been a wreck all day. I tried to work to keep myself from thinking about tonight, but when it came time for me to get ready, I was basically shaking with nerves. Fiona helped, and I have to admit I look hot as hell, but even knowing that doesn’t calm the butterflies in my belly.

Silence stretches in the car, and I’m not sure if that is a bad thing or good. I am comfortable, happy even, but what if he is bored and I need to talk to make him feel better? I’ve learned very quickly that Declan is a man of few words, and I am fine with the silence, but I’m not sure if he is. I want to make him comfortable with me because I am with him. He makes me all giggly, and oh my goodness, how I love this feeling.

When we pull into the valet of Thorsten’s Restaurant, my door opens and I reach for the hand that awaits me. I smile at the valet and then glance over to see Declan right there, his arm out for me to take. I want to giggle from the sheer chivalry of it all as I take his arm, but I push that giddiness away as he leads me inside. This place is like a castle, so huge and beautiful, stone walls with golden furniture. It’s superfancy and a part of me feels like I didn’t dress nicely enough. I also think that if I touch anything, it’ll break, so with my other hand, I reach over to hold on to his wrist. He sends me a sweet grin before looking up at the host.

When he sees us, he stands up straighter than before and comes to meet us. “Mr. O’Callaghan, it’s wonderful to have you tonight and your beautiful date, of course.”

“Thank you,” Declan says very sternly, but when he looks over at me, his eyes dance as he says, “She is beautiful, huh?”

My lips curve into a grin as I lean into him, wanting to hide my face, but before I can, we are being led to our table. I want to take in the fancy décor, the beautiful, large windows and gold tablecloths, but as we walk, people who are walking too stop to look at us. Even people who are eating stop to stare. Even some of the waiters and waitresses pause to glance at us too. Well, not us, but Declan.

When we come to our seats, he pulls my chair out for me and I sit down, placing my clutch on the table as I met the gaze of all the people in the restaurant. Nervous, I push my hair off my shoulders before clasping my hands in my lap. My heart is knocking into my ribs, and I can’t help but look around as everyone stares.

“Amberlyn?”

I glance up to meet Declan’s gaze. His eyes are narrowed, his cheeks flushed, and his beautiful lips are in a straight line. His nervousness is coming off him in waves, and I hate that he is nervous. I wonder if it is all the watchful eyes because I know they are making me nervous. “Yeah?”

“Would you like wine?” he asks, nodding his head toward the waiter that I didn’t realize was standing there.

“Oh, what are you having?”

“Whiskey.”

Of course. I smile as I nod. “Well, I guess I need to have a glass too.”

That makes his lips twitch as he nods, and the waiter is off to fill our orders. Taking in a deep breath, I try to look at the menu but I can feel eyes on me, and it has me clumsily flipping through the menu. When I knock the candle over, I groan as I reach for it, putting it back up. When I glance up to see if Declan saw me do it, I find that he did and his lips are curved up at the side as his eyes dance with laughter. I bite into my lip as my face reddens. I shrug and then look back down. Letting out an annoyed breath, I try to read the menu, but all I can think of is the people staring at me.

When a glass is set down before me, I reach for it, downing the bitter liquid in one gulp. I want to puke afterward, but as the liquor warms my throat and chest, I keep it down with the hope it calms my nerves. Placing the glass down, I look over to find Declan with his glass paused at his mouth. Even the waiter is staring at me, and shit, so is the rest of the fucking restaurant. Damn it!

“Sorry,” I breathe, tucking my hands in my lap, my shoulders falling forward in embarrassment.

Declan smiles, and I swear that I’m in a Taylor Swift song because all I see are sparks flying. There is something about those ice-blue eyes plus that smile that make me feel like I’m soaring through the air. Soon I forget about everyone in the room. The only person here is him.

“Don’t apologize,” he says before downing his glass too. He lets out a gasp and then grins over at me. “Future advice… it’s meant to be sipped, not knocked back.”

“I’m nervous,” I admit.

He nods. “I am, too.”

“Everyone is staring.”

He nods again but doesn’t take his eyes off me. “I know. I hate it.”

It’s at that moment that I actually realize that since we’ve been here, he has only looked at me and the menu, never around us. He is wound tight, his shoulders taut, the veins in his hands and arms showing. I hate that, and the fixer in me wants to make him feel better. Without really thinking, I reach over and take his hand in mine. It’s clammy, but I don’t care as I lace my fingers with his.

“It’s always like this, huh?”

He nods. “Yeah, but tonight I have someone so beautiful to look at I don’t even know anyone else is here.”

That sends the butterflies in my belly into a frenzy. I squeeze his hand as the waiter comes to our table again. “Are you ready to order, Mr. O’Callaghan?”

Declan nods, his eyes still on me as he asks, “What would you like, Amberlyn?”

I order a chicken dish because it was the only thing I thought I’d like, while Declan orders something crazy. With his fingers still locked with mine, I watch as the waiter sets new glasses of whiskey on the table before taking a small sip. Declan winks at me before saying, “Better. Savor it. It’s a beautiful age, this one. I think it’s a 1966.”

“Wow,” I say and he is right. It is pretty good just sipping it rather than just throwing it back like a madman. “It’s really good.”

“I’ll take you on a tour at the distillery…have you sample the best whiskey in the world,” he says with his eyes shining with pride.

I smile. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

Biting into my lip, I grin, but before I can say anything, someone appears at our table. I look up to see a tall blonde with her breasts falling out of the front of her dress and hips and legs that could make a grown man cry. She is hot. I can admit that if I were a guy, I’d do her. That’s how hot she is.

“Declan, I am shocked to see you after so long. How are you?”

Declan looks up reluctantly and the smile is gone, replaced with a straight line. “Fine, Marci, thank you, and yourself?”

“Fine, it’s wonderful to see you.”

“Yes, you too. How are your parents?”

“Fine, thank you.”

“That’s good. Give them my best.”

“I will,” she says, and then an awkward silence falls over the table. It’s like she doesn’t see me and that’s fine, but I wish she’d go away. “Oh, well, I just wanted to stop by, say hi, maybe get a picture with you for old times’ sake?”

Seriously? What the fuck? I glance over at Declan to see what he will say, and thankfully, he is shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t think so. And I’m sure my date would have something to say about that.”

Damn right, I would!

“With who?” she asks, actually looking confused.

I raise my hand and she looks over at me, her fake eyelashes shooting up to her forehead. Looking straight on, I decide that she isn’t very pretty. “Me. Amberlyn Reilly, nice to meet you.”

“Oh,” is all she says before looking back at Declan. “I didn’t know that you were seeing anyone.”

“Yeah, it’s not anyone’s business but mine.”

“Do your ma and da know?”

Declan sets her with a look, his eyes narrowing as he says, “Yes, why does that matter to you?”

“Just wondering. Guess I’ll leave you be.”

“That would be great,” he says, and inside, I cheer him on. What a bitch. She glares before she stalks away, and then Declan is looking off to the side. I watch as he nods his head, and then the waiter appears. “Sir?”

“Yes, can I please have our food to go? Or you know what, cancel it,” he says before standing up and throwing some money on the table. He closes the distance between us and holds out his arm. I stand without questioning him, taking his arm as he leads me out. “I’m sorry for cutting our dinner short, but since she came up to our table, everyone will. We need to get out of here.”

“Oh, okay,” I say as we walk out of the restaurant to the car that awaits us. After being seated inside, he soon enters and then we are off. I want to say something, but he is on the phone and I don’t want to interrupt him. I feel like it’s my fault we left. I don’t know why because I did nothing wrong, but I feel like he was embarrassed by me or something. Was that why he didn’t want people coming to the table? Fuck, why am I so insecure around this guy?

When we pull up to a pub I don’t know, he parks the car and lays his phone down before looking over at me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken you there. That is a life I used to have, and then I gave it up because of eejits like Marci. I apologize.”

“It’s okay,” I say with a shrug. “Are you taking me home?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t plan on it. I still have five hours,” he says, pointing to the clock, his brows touching each other as his gaze holds mine.

“Oh, I figured since we left, you didn’t want to spend time with me.”

“Huh? What? No, I hate that place. I wanted to impress you, but it kind of backfired.”

I smile. “You don’t have to take me to some fancy restaurant to impress me, Declan. The place was nice, but I’m fine with just this pub. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care.”

He nods, a smile playing on his lips as he looks over at me. “Well, we aren’t eating here either. I figured we’d get some food to go and go out on the lake.”

My heart flutters in my chest as I reach over and slowly pull his beanie off. It has been taunting me all night, and it’s just us now. Nothing to be embarrassed about. When I place the beanie in my lap, he grins at me as I say, “That sounds wonderful.”

* * *

Later with the lights from Declan’s car allowing us to see, we sit on the dock of the O’Callaghan side and dig in to the food that he ordered for us.

“A burger and fries is more my thing than whatever the hell that chicken dish was.”

He laughs. “Yeah, it was probably a bad idea all around taking you there. The food isn’t that good.”

“Maybe, but the whiskey was fantastic.”

He nods in agreement. “It is, but lucky for you, I had the pub owner throw in a bottle for us,” he says, pulling it out before filling up two plastic cups. “Perks of being the Whiskey Prince.”

I laugh. “Yeah. I guess it does have its perks, while any other time, it’s just weird.”

He shrugs. “It’s my history; I don’t mind it much until I’m out. When I’m on this land, it doesn’t bother me.”

“The staring bothers you, huh?”

“Yeah, and the way everyone thinks that they need to tell my parents everything. Oh, and the lies they put online and in the papers. It’s really stupid.”

“I bet. I still don’t get it.”

He doesn’t say anything as I take a bite of my hamburger. The flavor bursts in my mouth, and I smile happily as I eat. When I look over at him, I can see, even with the limited light, that his brows are pulled together. He is picking at the bun of his hamburger, too. Shit. “Did I say something wrong?”

He looks up and shakes his head. “It’s not that. I’m just worried that my birthright is going to be a problem between us.”

I lay my burger down. “How do you mean?”

“It seems like a big deal to you. Is it?”

“No, not at all,” I stress. “I don’t care. I just hate how everyone makes a big deal and makes you uncomfortable when you are just like every other guy in the world.”

He shrugs. “I want to say that it doesn’t bother me, that I understand it, but sometimes I feel like I’m lying. I don’t like the attention. I’ve always been sheltered. I went away to private school until I was fourteen, and I hated it. The older kids used me for money, and the younger kids used me to get in with the older kids. I never really made friends. All I had was Kane, but that was only when I was home during the summer. The only reason I went to a public school was because I begged my parents to let me go to school with him. I’ve always felt comfortable with him, and they agreed. I guess because most of the school was using their money. So then, I’m in school with everyone who Kane is close with, and I go from being picked on and hated to being worshiped. It was weird, and I guess it got to my head because I went fuckin’ crazy. Kane and I tore this town up, and I didn’t care about my name, about my title, or anything, for that matter. I was having a blast with my friends I thought were cool, but then it got to be too much. I was always at parties, girls all over me, wanting to marry me, and soon I realized that these people weren’t here because they liked me but because of who I am. And then Lena was raped.”

I don’t touch my food as he talks, and when Lena’s name leaves his lips, I can see the pain in his eyes. It physically hurts me. I want to scoot over and, I don’t know, hug him, but in a way, it feels like he doesn’t want that. So I listen as he goes on.

“My da flipped, as you can expect, and so did my ma. It was time for the charades to stop and time for me to be a man. So I did, but because I was scared I was the reason that Lena had been hurt, since Casey was my friend, I stopped everything and didn’t leave anymore. I lost all faith in humanity because how could someone hurt a beautiful fifteen-year-old girl and use someone they claim to like? So I turned into a hermit, as Kane says, and I hate that I did because now when I go out, everyone is going to be all over me. No one knows why, and everyone wants to suck up to me, but I want nothing to do with them. I’m older now. I know what I want in friends and in the person I want to date. I know what’s important—my family, my distillery, and my heart. I think when everything happened, I needed that time to heal because when Lena was hurt, it wasn’t only who that suffered the aftershocks of it—it was the whole family. You know?”

I nod and hate that my eyes are filling with tears. I can understand exactly what he means because I did the same thing. I hate how much pain his family has been through. Everyone sees them as this big, rich family that is basically royalty, but no one looks over the walls to make sure they are okay. It’s sad, and I hate that this has happened.

 Taking in a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I do. When my dad died, a piece of me died too, and when my mom went through chemo and all the cancer shit she did, I felt like I went through it with her. Each day weighed on me, like it did her. I offered to shave my head because we shaved hers, but she wouldn’t let me. She said if she couldn’t have her hair, she wanted to admire mine.”

When a tear runs down my cheek and splashes on my hand, I look down as I take in a deep breath.

“Don’t hide,” Declan whispers before lifting my face so he can see me. “That is really amazing of you, to want to do that for your ma.”

I smile. Man, I miss her, and I would do it all over again. Everything. “Yeah, but sometimes, I think I didn’t do enough. Maybe I could have saved her somehow, but then I know I couldn’t have. I was the best daughter I could have been because I wanted her to be happy and proud of me. I worked so hard, didn’t do anything but focus on my studies and take care of her. I don’t have any friends back home because I didn’t have time. I went to school, came home, did homework, and did anything she needed. My senior year, I was homeschooled. I didn’t have a prom, homecoming, nothing. I did everything for her, and I was a nobody to the kids my age. Don’t think I regret any of it, because I don’t, but it’s sad to think that when I left, no one knew, no one missed me, because I didn’t have time for anything or anyone but her. And if I hadn’t come here, I’d be alone, trying to figure out how to live life without my mom. I know she knew that, and that’s why she asked me to come here.”

Moving our food, Declan slides beside me. Taking my hands in his, he kisses each of my palms before looking deep into my eyes. “I believe that you are the strongest person I know, Amberlyn. Your ma was right to ask you to come here. It may very well be for my own selfish reasons, but because of that, I thank your ma every day. You know why I came out after hiding away for three years, right?”

My eyes are cloudy with tears, and my heart feels like a vise grip is around it as I look deep in his eyes. I haven’t shared any of that with anyone else but Fiona. I can’t believe I just blurted it out like that either, but it’s just different with him. I feel so at ease with him. Slowly, I shake my head. “No.”

“For you. I saw you across the lake that day when you were sunbathing, and I knew I had to know your name and the color of your eyes.”

Hearing him say those words has me breathless as he holds my gaze, his ice-blue eyes shining. “Then I met you and had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that beautiful smile of yours, and the more I learned about you, the more I thank God I came off this damn land.”

If he wanted me to smile, he succeeded. My grin is huge as stray tears roll down my cheeks. “And if you left now, I’d miss you. Terribly.”

Leaning toward him, I rest my head to his. “I’d miss you, too.”

He smiles, and I can’t help but smile back, even though I want to break down and cry for both of us. Grinning, I say, “Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“That is a good thing.”

His mouth is still curved in a contagious grin as he reaches up, slowly moving his thumb along my bottom lip, causing gooseflesh to cover my skin despite the hot weather. His eyes are so dark, locked with mine, and when his tongue comes out to wet his lips, I ask, “Are you gonna kiss me now? Oh-dear-God-why-did-I-just-ask-that!”

I say it as one word before I close my eyes in complete and utter humiliation. Declan’s laugh runs down my spine, and it doesn’t help my embarrassment one bit. If anything, it makes it worse as I open my eyes to look at him, and what I find makes me smile. His face is so close to mine, his eyes bright and playful.

“Really though, why do you keep asking? Do you want to kiss me or something?” he jokes, pulling a nervous laugh from me.

“Something like that,” I joke back with a grin, but then I shake my head. “I need a filter.”

“No, I like that you say what you think,” he says, cupping my face. With his eyes locked on mine, breathing is not an option. As he leans toward me, his lips coming for mine, I hold my breath and close my eyes tight because thank sweet baby Jesus, he is going to kiss me. But then his lips meet my nose in a sweet, soft kiss, and my eyes spring open as he pulls away. Deflated, I ask, “Not the moment, huh?”

He reaches for his burger and takes a huge bite before shaking his head. After swallowing, he grins over at me. “Not yet.”

“This better be some amazingly awesome kiss,” I tease as I pick up my own burger.

He winks, his eyes dark as he says, “Best damn kiss you’ll ever have. I can promise ya that.”

I want to say he has that right since I’ve kissed only one guy, and he had weird braces that stuck me in the lip. Instead, I just nod and eat my hamburger happily because this was probably the best first date ever.