Amberlyn

One would think that after a month of living and working in a very busy pub in Ireland that I would at least know what people are saying when they talk to me.

But I don’t.

“I plan on being pissy drunk,” one of my patrons informs me with a slight slur, or maybe that’s his brogue, not sure, but he seems excited.

I look back at my cousin Fiona, confused, and she shakes her head, a smile playing on her pouty lips. “He plans on getting really drunk tonight,” she says in her just-as-thick Irish accent. It has been Americanized though, thankfully, from having an American for a father.

I look back, meeting the gaze of my elderly patron as I pass him his pint of beer, and smile. His green eyes are shining, and he is wearing an intoxicating grin with a long, scruffy beard. I have to admit, I don’t know him, but I know he is going to make my night. People like this make me love my job. I love meeting the people, talking to them, despite not knowing what they are talking about half the time. I love working at the high pace that the pub requires, and I love working with my cousin. I never would have thought this a month ago, but I love being a bartender!

“Sounds like a plan!”

He takes a long pull of his beer and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before pointing his finger at me. “American, yes?”

I nod. “Guilty as charged. Only been here a month.”

And what a month it has been. Of course, my Aunt Shelia and Uncle Michael have been unbelievably accommodating and have given me a lovely home. It isn’t the home I had with my mom and dad, but they love me as if I were theirs. Shelia is excited to have me,and always talks about how much she loved my dad and mom. It’s refreshing. I think she expected to get some heartbroken girl, and while, yes, I am heartbroken and I miss them more than ever, I had time to accept that my mother was leaving me. So while I may still have my moments of complete heartbreak, where I sob until I can’t breathe because I miss her, I am able to go on with my life and do as she asked.

Live each day as if I were dying.

When I got here, though, I was scared. Shit, I’m still scared, but her letter that my aunt had waiting for me was so comforting. I knew that I had to do everything that the letter said. I also memorized it, remembering everything about it, because I never wanted to forget my mother’s words, her handwriting, or how the letter smelled like soft roses. Just like her favorite perfume that my dad had given her. While she told me repeatedly that she loved me and that she was sorry she had to leave me, she also gave me three things she wanted me to do this year.

Take a risk.

Do something drastic.

Fall in love.

While each one scares me to the core, I haven’t had a chance to do anything yet since I have been settling in and adjusting to life here. I don’t even know what I’m going to do though! Take a risk? Yeah, no clue. Do something drastic? Um, a tattoo is drastic, right? Yeah, I can do that as soon as I get over my fear of needles. And fall in love? Is she crazy? All I’ve ever done with a boy is kiss one, and she wants me to fall in love? Jesus, that involves sex, doesn’t it? Since no one has ever been in my pants, that could pose a problem. A huge one! I’m pretty sure I’m the only virgin in Cong, County Mayo, and that is just downright sad. My mom is asking for a lot, but I can’t help but love her more for each word she wrote. She wants me to start over, she wants me to be happy, and I have every intention of doing that.

I miss my home, but I believe in what my mom is doing here. Plus, Uncle Felix has everything under control. Surprising, I know. We stay in contact weekly. He is living in my home, packing up my parents’ things, and moving his in because he is starting a new life in Tennessee. If I come back after the year, then he’ll move out and find his own place, but if I don’t, he plans to buy the house from me.

I never expected him to be so helpful. This transition has been great, and I think that’s because of my mom’s hard work. She knew what she was doing. I have to trust her, and I know I have to leave all caution in the wind. Something I’ve never done. I’ve always been the one to be ahead on things, caring for my mother, paying all the bills on time or even days before. I have never just lived, and this is my chance. My chance to be me—Amberlyn Reilly.

Not sure who that is, but I am excited to get to know her.

The other great thing about this transition has been that my cousin and I have become instant best friends. Completely awesome, right? I totally love her. She is the sister I never had and simply breathtaking. Fiona is a year older than I am, with sweet, bluish-green eyes and long, brownish-golden hair with high cheekbones covered in light freckles, and pouty lips. She is stunning, slim, but thick in all the right places. The boys go gaga for her in the pub, but she ignores them all. She is my lifesaver, especially when the older customers with the thick brogues come in. I have no clue what they are saying to me, but she’s run the pub for so long that she has no problem getting them what they need while I stand there like a fish out of water.

I don’t let it derail me though. I am on a mission to make a new life. Hopefully, while I’m at it, I’ll catch on to this language.

“Céad Míle Fáilte!”

That’s the name of the bed and breakfast, but that doesn’t mean I know what it means. I glance over to a smiling Fiona, and she says, “He is saying ‘Welcome,’ like a hundred thousand welcomes.”

“Oh, awesome, thanks! It’s wonderful to meet you!” I gush as I go to the next patron and the next. My night is busy, but that’s what I’ve come to expect from the Céad Míle Fáilte. It’s the best, and the busiest, pub slash B&B in all of Mayo, as numerous people have told me every night.

“He’s here,” Fiona says as she passes by me. I glance up from the pint I’m filling to look at her as she lays down a plate of food for one of my customers. Her face is flush, a grin pulling at her lips.

I smile as I ask, “Who?”

“Kane Levy,” she says out of the side of her mouth. “Over at the end of the bar.”

I look over my shoulder, but before I can focus on anything, she smacks me in the arm.

“Don’t look!” she scolds, and I laugh as I pass a pint to a college guy. He smiles his thanks and throws five euros in my tip jar.

“Thank you,” I say before turning to Fiona. Before I can say anything, the college guy says, “You’re quare good-looking. Will ya be my missus?”

Without my even having to look at her, Fiona says, “He wants to marry you.”

Now see, this is one of those moments I could take a risk, or do something drastic, maybe even have the potential to fall in love, but the thought of doing any of that with this extremely cute guy has me wanting to hide under the bar. He is obviously drunk and supercute with big, brown eyes, but he’s not my type. Call me picky but I want someone who is going to make me shiver with need, and I’m not shivering. So with a smile, I say, “Not today.”

He goes to say something more, but Fiona puts her hand up. “Brian, we’ll be having none of that. Go on now. She’s not interested.”

He doesn’t say anything. His face falls with rejection as he turns with his beer and heads to the table where his friends are waiting. Fiona watches him, and when he sits, she turns back to me. “Be on the lookout for that one. He is quick to want to marry someone. Asks me like every month.”

“Oh, I’m glad to see he isn’t selective.”

She laughs as she nods. “Total eejit. Don’t pay him a bit of heed, but as I was saying, he’s here.”

“I know, but you won’t let me look!” I laugh, but I can’t help but be as giddy as she is. She is grinning ear-to-ear, eyes bright as she watches him from over my shoulder.

“He is so yummy. Look at those eyes.”

I roll mine as I remind her, “I can’t! You won’t let me.”

“Fine, go reach for that um, jug and look,” she allows. I shake my head as I turn, reaching for the jug she pointed at before looking down at where a sinfully hot man sits. Oh, goodness. No wonder she is all giddy. Dark-as-night hair, deep brown eyes, high cheekbones, and squared jaw that is covered in dark stubble. When his eyes meet mine, I turn quickly, breathless as I look into Fiona’s eyes. “Fucking hell! He is beautiful!”

“I know! He comes in every other night, and I haven’t had the balls to say anything.”

“You need to. He is smoking hot!”

Fiona pauses her gaze on him, and then looks down at me. “You go chance your arm with him. He gives me the chills, and I feel stupid when I try to talk to him, but he’s checking out your arse. Go on.”

I shake my head quickly. My heart speeds in my chest as my hands quickly cover my ass. Don’t ask me why I do that—I have no clue. “No way. He is way too much man for me.”

Her head falls to the side, her eyes boring into mine. “What does that mean?”

I wave her off with a nervous laugh. “Don’t worry about it. He’s obviously someone you want to talk to, and we all know the young guys come in for you.”

“They do not! They come for both of us.”

I roll my eyes as I wave her off. “Go.”

“Okay, I’m going to.”

“Good!”

She pumps her arms as if she is getting ready to go for a run and then passes by me, sauntering toward him in a way that only a confident woman could pull off. I watch as his mouth spreads into a huge grin as she leans against the bar and starts to talk to him. I want to eavesdrop, but that’s rude, so I go back to work, hating myself for being so inexperienced.

Later that night, Fiona and I work quickly to close everything up so we can go to bed. I’m beat and my feet are killing me, but Fiona doesn’t look the least bit tired. She is smiling, hard, and I know it’s because she spent most the night flirting with Kane.

“He is so perfect,” she gushes as she loads the dishwasher up.

I smile as I listen to her go on and on about how perfect he is. It’s cute. I ask her, “You ignore everyone else who hits on you—have you crushed on him long?”

She nods sheepishly. “Oh yes, and I don’t even know what I’ll do if he asks me out! I’ll probably freak.”

She screams, and I can’t help but scream too. I’ve never had this, the female bonding over a guy. I didn’t have a sibling growing up and not many friends. I was kind of a nerd, with my nose deep in a book. I don’t hate that about myself. I pride myself in my knowledge of the written word, but doing this, gushing with Fiona about Kane, makes me wish that I didn’t wait until I was almost twenty-one to experience this. This is something a teenager does, but while most girls gushed over boy bands, I was swooning over Mr. Darcy and Edward Ferrars. Some may call it odd that I was in love with heroes from my favorite romance novels, and maybe they have raised my expectations of men, but it’s what I did. It’s why I want to be an English teacher, just so I can share these amazing men with the youth today. So they can see that a man with manners is way better than a man with swag.

“He has me acting a fool. It’s insane! I know!”

I smile at her exclamation as she runs her hands through her hair. “I’m glad. You are beautiful when you smile like that.”

She grins, but then her brows come together as she says, “Can I ask you something?”

I nod. “Absolutely.”

“You said earlier that he is more man than you could handle? What did you mean? It’s been bothering me.”

I shrug, not going to answer, but she reaches out and takes my wrist with her hand. “You can tell me anything, you know that. I wasn’t trying to offend you. I just wanted to give you a chance with the first guy you fancied.”

I shake my head, placing my hand over hers. “Not at all. I’m not offended, and I wouldn’t say I fancy Kane. He’s a good-looking guy, but he isn’t for me. Plus, you like him.”

“Okay, but plenty of guys come in here looking a lot like Kane, and you brush them off—why?”

I shrug again, nervous as my heart pounds against my ribs. Looking up into her eyes, I smile sheepishly. “It’s just that I’m not experienced with guys like you. I’ve never really dated or anything. My only kiss was with my neighbor. I’m kind of a weirdo.”

“Sorry? Do you mean you’ve never got off with a fella?”

I pause as I look into her aquamarine eyes. Did I really want to admit that right now? To my surprise, I’m slowly nodding my head, and then I say, “Yeah.”

She can only blink as she holds my gaze. “I’m sorry, but I have no clue what to say. You’re gorgeous, Amberlyn! What are you waiting for?”

I grin shyly as I shrug my shoulders. “I never had time. Too busy with my mom and school and stuff.”

Her eyes fill with sympathy before she wraps me up tightly in her arms. I smile against her shoulder as I hug her back. I really love Fiona, and I feel my mom knew that I would, hence the reason she sent me here. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I instantly loved my aunt and uncle when I met them, but with Fiona, she just gets me. She understands and loves me, even when I admit horribly embarrassing things. She doesn’t make me feel like crap for it. In a way, she gives me hope with her sparkling, bluish-green eyes.

“Well, that is going to change. I promise you that!”

I laugh as she pulls away and says, “Maybe Kane has a friend?”

I shrug. “Maybe, but I’m not looking for a quick lay. I want a relationship. I want to be wooed.”

“Wooed?” she asked, obviously confused.

“Yeah, like romanced,” I supply.

“Oh! Sure, sure! Kane is good at wooing,” she says with a wink.

“I don’t doubt that. He looks like it.”

“He is and no worries. We will find you a fella who will knock you on your arse with his wooing!”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither, I’m excited! For us!” she yells before her eyes get all glassy and dreamy-looking. She then starts to spins in place before stopping and holding her hands to her chest, a euphoric look on her beautiful face. In that moment, I want what she is experiencing. I want to know what it feels like to be completely taken by a guy. Even though I was scared at first at the thought of falling in love, now I think it is something I might need to try.