After Ethan and I clean off the couch, we squeeze into the much too small tour bus shower. He laughs over my inability to slip past him to reach the shampoo, the bastard.

"Here, I've got it." He pulls the showerhead from its stand—the thing is detachable—and uses it to rinse my hair.

"That must come in handy."

"Getting ideas?" He slides his hand down my torso.

Yes, but I'm exhausted and I'm pretty sure we've gone well past an hour. Ethan and I had plenty of loud semi-public sex when we were together, but that was when I felt like a part of the band family.

Joel is going out of his way to make me feel welcome, but Kit keeps staring at me like I'm holding a hand grenade to Ethan's chest. I don't need to wear out my welcome.

Ethan shampoos and rinses my hair. "You don't have to think about me naked, Vi. I'm naked right here."

"I'm not." I lean into his touch as he conditions and rinses my hair. "Thinking about Mal and Kit-"

"Violet, don't do this to me."

"Not like that." I turn so I'm face to face with Ethan. "What are we going to tell them about us?"

"The truth."

Okay… I stare into his blue eyes. He looks earnest. Ethan always looks earnest. There's no reason why I should doubt his intentions.

"We're having fun." He raises a brow. "Why do you look so worried?"

I don't know. Something about this feels off. But it's very difficult to think with Ethan's naked, sopping wet body pressed against mine. "Just not looking forward to the third degree."

"Yeah. It's annoying. Like having two extra older brothers." He shampoos and rinses his hair. "But everyone's glad your here."

"Are they?"

"Yeah." He slides his arms around my waist. "Not as glad as I am." He lets out a sigh of pleasure as he pulls me into a close hug.

God, I could die right here in his arms and that would be okay. I can't remember the last time I felt this safe or whole.

This is dangerous. If I'm not careful, I'm going to fall back in love with Ethan. But I do want to have fun. I want to feel good.

I tell my thoughts to take a hike, then I close my eyes and soak in the feeling of his hands on my skin as he soaps and rinses my body. I explore every inch of his defined body as I soap him. His back is strong. His shoulders are broad. His ass and thighs are muscular.

"Whatever you're doing, it's working." I drag my fingers over his back.

He laughs. "I know. You too." He presses his palm against my ass and pulls my body into his. "Fuck, I'm going to have to have you again at this rate."

Right on cue, there's a pounding knock. It's coming from outside the bus.

Then Joel's voice booms through the walls. "Hope you two are decent, 'cause I'm coming in. And I have company."

"I thought he didn't screw girls in the bus?" I whisper.

"He doesn't." Ethan turns the shower off and steps out of the stall. He grabs the towel that's hanging on the wall and offers it to me. "Shit. Forgot to grab a second towel." He looks me up and down. "As much as I'd like to watch you walk around the bus naked, you can keep that one."

"What if I want to walk around naked?"

"Too dangerous. If one of the guys touches you, I'll have to kill him. And then I'll get arrested, you'll be called in for questioning. It will be a mess."

"Better to keep the towel on," I agree.

He nods.

My lips curl into a smile. He's protective of me. I shouldn't find that thrilling what with our this is just for fun agreement.

But I do.

I dry off the best I can in the tiny space and offer Ethan the towel.

He shakes his head. "I'm good. You decent?"

I wrap the towel around my chest and knot it tightly. "Yeah. Why?"

"No reason." He pulls the bathroom door open and steps onto the bus.

"Oh fuck, put that thing away," Joel calls out. "Hope that's you in there, Violet?"

"Violet?" Tom's voice flows into the bathroom. "I guess that answers that question. And this answers the how did you get Violet to agree to fuck you question."

Despite the blush forming on my cheeks, I step into the main room. Ethan is still naked. There's no sign he intends to put on clothing.

Not that I'm complaining. But it is strange.

Tom nods hello. Joel does the same.

"Is this a drummer's convention or are you two here to gossip?" I ask.

Tom looks at Ethan. Not so much at Ethan as at Ethan's cock. It is a marvelous sight, even without the hard-on.

He looks to me. "Nice going, Violet."

"Oh God." I hide behind my palm.

Joel looks around the room. "So we're all okay with this?"

"I'm enjoying it," I say.

"Doesn't bother me," Tom says.

Joel shakes his head. He grabs the blanket off the couch and tosses it to Ethan. "You're washing that next time we stop."

Ethan laughs but he still gets back into his jeans and t-shirt. Well, the Sinful Serenade t-shirt that no doubt belongs to someone else.

He's not wearing anything under his jeans.

How am I supposed to think for the rest of the night?

"Shit, if you'd told me you were gonna be a free walking billboard, I would have insisted you put on clothes." Tom looks to me. "How was it?"

"You don't have to answer that." Ethan steps behind me. He slides his arms around me and pulls my body into his.

Tom and Joel share a look. I have no idea what it means. Maybe it's drummer code? Ah, it's so much fun being out of the loop.

Tom turns to me. "What's the verdict?"

"Don't you have a wife to talk to?" I ask.

"She's on an assignment. I'm not to disturb her." He raises a brow. "So?"

"It was amazing. Now both of you, go. At least for five minutes. I need to get dressed and there's no privacy in here," I say.

"There's a bathroom," Joel says.

"Now!" I fold my arms over my chest.

He chuckles but he still leaves. Tom too. He winks on his way out the door.

I turn back to Ethan. "Are they always like this?"

"Not with women. But otherwise, yeah." He plants a kiss on my neck. "You should get dressed. Joel's not going to give you a second over five minutes."

There's something in his eyes, something he wants to say, but his lips stay zipped.

I want to drag him into one of those tiny bunks and hold him until he pours his heart out. I try to shake off the urge. That's not part of our just having sex arrangement. And I'm pretty sure I'm down to sixty seconds at this point.

I dig through my dresser drawer— it is nice that I have a drawer— as quickly as I can. Boxers, done. But I can't find my tank top anywhere.

"Here." Ethan throws me a Dangerous Noise t-shirt.

I pull it on. "What do you think? Does my taste in my music make my ass look big?"

"Yes and I mean that as a compliment."

My cheeks flush.

"We're wheels up in half an hour. Want to cash in that rain check?"

"Huh?"

"The Fly." He pulls me onto the couch, onto his lap. "Don't tell me you forgot."

"Of course not. This is the one where Jeff Goldbum gets naked, right?"

He laughs. "Right."

"Can we watch Jurassic Park after?"

"Should have figured you'd have a crush on the guy who studies chaos theory."

"My feelings for Dr. Ian Malcolm are purely professional. I respect him as a potential colleague."

"Uh-huh." Ethan shakes his head like he finds me ridiculous. His lips curl into a smile.

The bus door swings open and Joel steps inside. This time, Mal and Kit are in tow.

"You two want to get this out of the way now?" Joel asks.

And I thought I was tactless.

Ethan pulls me closer. "Violet and I are having sex. Any questions?"

Kit shoots him a good luck with that blowing up in your face look.

Mal looks at us protectively. I'm not sure which of us he's protecting. But, really, I don't care.

Ethan and I are having fun. Period. There's no way I'm going to open my heart to him. Not if he really believes our breakup was entirely my fault.

If he apologizes and explains why he threw me away… maybe I'll give him another shot.

Maybe.

I smile my best leave me the fuck alone smile. "We're just having fun. Just until I leave the tour."

"Long as you're on the same page." Mal nods and motions to the bunk.

"No loud sex after midnight. That's a known rule. I'm looking at you, Valentine," Joel says.

"Your shows don't end until midnight," I say.

Joel shrugs. "I don't make the rules. I just enforce them."

"Consider me warned," I say.

Joel plops on the couch next to Ethan. "What are we watching?"

Ethan shoots him a dirty look. "Vi and I are watching The Fly."

"The original or the remake?" Joel asks.

"The remake," Ethan says.

"Thank fuck. That one's way better." Joel grabs three pairs of Bluetooth headphones. He shoots Ethan a shit-eating grin as he pulls his headphones onto his ears.

As much as I hate Joel interrupting our moment, I have to laugh. The guy is a character.

I slide my headphones on and settle into Ethan's lap. He slides his arms around me and boots up the movie.

The three of us fall silent as the film starts.

Even with our audience, it feels good watching a movie in Ethan's arms. It feels like old times. Like when I was happy.

I want to be happy with him again.

But that's a dangerous thought.