Nate
I dreamt of a beautiful girl with sultry dark eyes and sandy blonde hair who was brave and kind and stood up to Tony, even though he obviously scared her. My dreams quickly turned from respect and admiration to erotic fantasies. Mouths meshing, limbs entwined, bodies moving together as one. Her skin was so soft to the touch, her lips like raspberries in sweet cream. My fantasies didn’t stop there. Oh no. I imagined fucking her in every way possible, making her gasp and moan and scream my name in ecstasy. God help me, I was obsessed with her. Everything about her. I was hooked, snared, and I couldn’t escape. In my dream, she said I was the only one she wanted and begged me to take her. Of course, I couldn’t resist. So I took her. Again and again and again. Over and over and over…
I jerked awake, my heart pounding, and lay there for a long moment, as the fantasy slowly faded away. Shit. I had a hard-on the size of Mount Everest, and I was all alone in my bed. With no female in sight.
Had I just dreamt about sex with Alissa? Seriously? What the hell was wrong with me?
Moron! As if that would ever happen.
I let out a snort of disgust at myself. I shouldn’t be lusting after the woman. I didn’t know a thing about her.
Except that I wanted her. Badly. She’d totally bewitched me.
I groaned. She was going to fuck me up. Royally.
A throbbing pain raged in my chest, above my heart, growing stronger, sharper as I came more fully awake. Then another pain, not as fierce, in my upper thigh, refusing to be ignored.
Memories swirled in my head. Mexicans sneaking into the maze, shooting at us. We’d taken them all out, killing every last one of them. Twenty-five, to be exact. We couldn’t let our hideout be compromised, so we’d left no one alive. Enrique wouldn’t be pleased to learn he’d lost so many men, but that was what he got for sending them after Alissa. For invading our sanctuary.
I’d gotten shot. Twice.
Alissa had fixed me. She was a nurse.
I smiled at the memory of her leaning over me, working like a pro. And telling Tony to back off.
My smile faded. The healer in me wanted to fix the brokenness in her. Wanted to make her well again. Wanted to take away her pain. But I couldn’t fix emotional injuries. Only physical ones. Alissa was the only one who could heal herself, but I desperately wanted to help her. She’d saved my life. She’d patched up my wounds without complaint. The blood and the injuries hadn’t bothered her. She’d been calm and collected under pressure.
The woman was amazing. She’d earned my admiration. And respect. I didn’t believe she’d deliberately led the Sureños here. At first, I’d been unsure, thinking she may have set me up, but now I believed she was innocent. She’d just forgotten about the tracking device they’d stuck in her neck. I believed she was alone in the world and had no one else to turn to for help. If I hadn’t given her my cellphone number when I had, then she would have been sold into the sex trade to some sick pervert. A fresh wave of protectiveness washed over me. I vowed I would keep her safe.
The woman had consumed my thoughts ever since the night I’d met her several weeks ago, and now she consumed my dreams. Erotically. I was wildly, desperately attracted her. What man wouldn’t be? She was gorgeous with those soft, utterly feminine features and those big “bedroom eyes” that drew me in and made me want to know all her secrets. Not to mention that lithe, nubile body and those legs that went on and on. I’d overheard her telling Tony she’d once been a model. I could see that. Easily. A woman with her looks drew the eye no matter where she went or what she did. She was stunning.
So why was she so broken inside? What had happened to her? Dammit, I wanted to heal her. Take away her pain.
I wanted to know her. Everything about her. There was something brewing between us, something powerful that I’d never experienced before. I wasn’t sure what it was—a connection of some kind—but Tony obviously sensed it, which was why he was being such a dick to her. I planned to have a talk with him about it. Tell him to back off and leave her alone. I understood him better than anyone, and if I let him know I wouldn’t put up with him mistreating her, then he’d know not to fuck with her—or me. Alissa was bringing conflict between Tony and me. She was the first to ever breach our bond.
Tony didn’t like it? Tough. He’d have to learn to deal with it.
Because I planned to keep her. As long as she’d let me, anyway.
Where was she right at this moment? Was she still here somewhere? Had she left?
I had to know. I had to see her.
I tossed the covers aside and gingerly sat up. I was naked beneath the sheets. Someone—Alissa I assumed—had removed my blood-soaked underwear.
Gasping at the pain in my upper chest—a fractured rib from a bullet fragment?—I fell back against the headboard. Then I carefully leaned over, trying to get a good look at the leg injury. The thigh wound was alarmingly high up. Damn. Another few inches and I would have been castrated. Before, while in the throes of pain, I hadn’t realized how close the injury was to my groin. Embarrassed heat washed into my face. Alissa had been that close—she’d seen my family jewels.
I covered my face with my hands and let out a soft groan. As mortifying as that was, I couldn’t worry about it now.
How long had I been in bed? Hours? Days? The last thing I remembered before nodding off was cutting the tracking device out of Alissa’s neck. From then, all I recalled was fantasies about Alissa. I wanted to get up to relieve myself, but my leg was too sore to put any weight on it just yet.
“Hey!” I shouted. “Anyone around?”
The bedroom door creaked open, and Alissa peered into the room. Her gaze landed on mine. “I’m here. Are you okay? I thought I heard you moaning.”
“Yeah,” I grunted out, my face heating. “I’m a little sore, and I have to piss.”
She hurried into the room, still wearing my shirt and sweats. “Let’s check your wounds, then I’ll help you to the restroom.” I lay still as she first gently inspected the chest wound. “That one looks good, though I think you might have a broken rib.” Then she leaned over my leg and assessed the thigh wound. Heat crept up my neck and into my face as her fingers brushed the inside of my thigh while she checked the injury. I stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about moving her hand higher and placing it where I really wanted her to touch me.
“It looks fine.” She lifted her gaze to mine. “No puffiness or swelling. I noticed you had some prescription pain medications in your medical bag. Would you like some?”
Was it my imagination or was her face slightly pinker than it had been a moment ago?
“Yes, please,” I murmured. I was the only dreg—only person, in fact—who could not be healed by my supernatural abilities, so I had to make do with conventional healing methods. Which sucked for me. But I still had the dreg ability to heal faster than normal, which meant I wouldn’t be in this bed any more than a few days to a week.
Alissa wrapped a blanket around my waist, then helped me to the bathroom. She went out and closed the door, giving me some privacy. When I emerged a few minutes later, she had a glass of water and some pain pills sitting on the nightstand. She helped me back to bed, then popped two pills in my mouth. I swallowed the pills with the water and thanked her. Then she helped me get settled again.
“Logan mentioned it had been over a year since you’d last been injured.” Alissa sat on the edge of the bed next to me. “What happened then?”
It didn’t even occur to me to not tell her the truth. I wasn’t sure why I trusted her. I just did. I closed my eyes as the memory consumed me. “It was our last mission. We were carrying Jacob out because he’d been shot in the neck. A sudden explosion nearby launched a chunk of shrapnel into my heart. I remember intense pain, then falling, but nothing else after that.” I opened my eyes and looked up at her. “My dreg brothers miraculously got me out of there and rushed me back to the facility. The surgeon was able to piece my heart back together, but the injury left me with an arrhythmia that required a pacemaker to keep my heart beating properly.”
Admiration filled her gaze. “Wow. It sounds like you’re very lucky to be alive.” She smiled, hesitated, then asked, “Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?”
“Yeah, I could eat. How long was I sleeping?”
“Last night and half of today. It’s now lunchtime.”
That explained why my stomach was growling. I normally ate a big breakfast to give me energy throughout the day.
She rose from the bed and patted my arm. “I’ll go fix you something to eat. Anything in particular that you prefer?”
“Food.”
She chuckled, her gaze locking on mine. “You’ve got a dry wit, I can see. Okay, I’ll go fix you something. Be back in a few.”
I watched her leave. She looked small and feminine wearing my too-big clothes. I liked seeing her in my clothes. I would like even more to see her in my bed. With me. Naked. For a long time. But I wasn’t sure if she thought of me that way. Sometimes she was hard to read. Sometimes she seemed so guarded, so hurt deep inside, while other times she seemed open and friendly and kind. The woman had saved Jacob’s daughter Hazel’s life, so in my mind, that alone made her a good person. It occurred to me as she disappeared out into the living area that I had no idea what had happened to her while she’d been in the custody of the Spartans and then the Sureños. She didn’t appear to have been subjected to any physical torture.
If I asked her about herself, would she answer honestly? If Luke were here when I asked her, he would know if she was telling the truth or not because he was an expert interrogator, but I didn’t want to interrogate her. I wanted her to be honest and open with me.
Which meant I would have to be the same with her. I wasn’t used to sharing with others, except for Tony. And there were some things I didn’t tell even him. Like this attraction I felt for Alissa. This connection I was beginning to feel to her. It was still fresh. Still a little tentative. But I wanted to explore it more. See what it was. See where it might led. Was she attracted to me, too? What would she do if I hinted that I wanted to get to know her better? Would I only scare her away? My instincts told me I would need to move slowly, be very cautious with her. She’d suffered some type of abuse in her life that had left her damaged inside, and she still hadn’t healed from that. If I wanted her to open up to me, I would need to appear non-threatening, someone she could trust. A friend. A confidant. Before a lover.
I wanted to be those things for her. And so much more.
Which was new to me. I’d never had this overwhelming desire to share with someone, to open up and be vulnerable.
God help me. Jacob’s fiancé Anna had been right. She’d predicted not too long ago that I would fall in love soon, and that when I did, it would knock me off my feet. While I couldn’t say I was in love with Alissa, since I barely knew her, I had certainly been knocked off my feet—by two bullets that had left me weak and bedridden. Two bullets that wouldn’t have struck me if I hadn’t saved Alissa to begin with. I was definitely starting to feel something deep and powerful for her. And not just a physical attraction, though there was certainly that. Dammit, the woman was making me crazy, and I didn’t do that. I never thought about women. I spent a majority of my time worrying about Tony and wondering when he might snap. For once, I was thinking about something besides him, and that was a relief. Imagining Alissa in my bed, her soft, sexy body moving with mine, was a hell of a lot better than worrying about Tony. Would Alissa come between us? Hell. She already was.
I was a thinker by nature. A planner. A preparer. And this new knowledge that I was starting to feel something for Alissa was making my head spin. I didn’t know what or how to plan or prepare for what might happen with her. Or what it might do to me. I didn’t have time for emotions, dammit. For feelings. I was a dreg. A soldier. Women were for fucking, and nothing more.
At least, that’s what I’d always thought.
These past few months I had started to see things a little differently when first Tracker, and then Jacob, had fallen in love and moved away to be with their women. Two wonderful women, too, if you asked me. Both Tracker and Jacob had found their perfect matches. I was happy for them. But that didn’t mean I deserved happiness, or that happiness was even possible for me. Yet Alissa made me want. She made me hope.
When Alissa returned with lunch and sat on the edge of the bed to help me sit up so I could eat, I began to contemplate what it would be like to have her in my life permanently. Eating with me. Talking with me. Sharing my bed. Just being with me. It wasn’t a bad thought. Just something that had never occurred to me before. Could I be the type of man who might make a woman like Alissa happy? Did she even think of me that way? I decided then and there that I would try to convince her to stick around for a while so we could get a chance to know each other better, and I could gradually hint that I was attracted to her and see if she felt the same. And then, well, then I wasn’t sure what to do. I guess if I managed not to scare her off by that point, then that would be a good sign. And we could take it a step further, which in my mind meant sex. Lots and lots of sex. I was already plagued with thoughts of how she might taste. How she might react if I kissed her. What she might feel like pressed up against me. If her breasts would fit in my hands, and if her nipples would pucker if I licked and sucked them.
“Are you all right?” Alissa asked gently, her words full of concern. “Does the sandwich not taste good?”
Heat washed into my face. I must have been making a strange face or something that prompted her to ask that. If she had any idea what I’d just been thinking...
“No. The sandwich is fine. Thank you.” My voice came out sounding hoarse. “I’m just not a very good patient. I get grumpy when I’m confined for too long.” Which was true, though certainly not what I’d been thinking about moments ago.
She chuckled softly. “It’s okay. I completely understand. My leg has been hurting me today, too.”
I jerked my gaze to hers. Shit. I’d forgotten all about her injury. “Did you take some pain meds for it?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to.”
“You’re allowed to,” I assured her. “Anytime you need one, just take it. I can easily get more.”
“Okay. Thank you.” She opened the medical bag and dumped a pain pill in her palm, then glanced back at me. “You sure it’s okay?”
“Positive. I don’t want you to be in pain.”
She cleared her throat. “Just one, then. I think that should suffice.”
She stuck the pill in her mouth, tilted her head back with the glass at her lips…I stared at the way her delicate throat moved as she swallowed. Damn. I wanted to kiss that throat and all along her neck. Behind her ear. And those lips. Fuck, I wanted to taste them. I wanted to taste her. Everywhere.
This is what forced confinement did to a man’s mind. All I could think about was sex with Alissa.
It’s not the confinement, you idiot. It’s just her. She’s bewitched you.
Alissa grabbed the television remote from the nightstand and set it next to me on the bed, as if she’d read my thoughts and wanted to distract me. “In case you get bored,” she said with a smile. “Shall I leave you alone now?”
I handed her my empty plate and contemplated her question. “I wouldn’t mind some company.”
She brightened, then her face turned pink. Did she want to stay and visit with me some more? Or did the idea bother her for some reason?
“Do I make you uncomfortable?”
Her face turned even redder. “No. I mean, yes. I mean. I don’t know.” She turned away with my plate, hobbling toward the door.
“Alissa, don’t leave. Talk to me. Please.”
She paused, then slowly turned back to me. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be a burden here. I’m trying to stay out of the way. You’re injured, and the last thing you need is a woman underfoot. But I’m afraid to leave your apartment because I don’t want to run into Tony. He scares me.”
I sighed. “Don’t worry about him. I’ve never known Tony to hurt a woman.”
She scoffed. “Then I’m sure I’ll be the first.”
Alarm jolted through me. What had he done?
“What happened to make you so afraid of him?”
She hesitated, then admitted, “Right after the fight with Enrique’s thugs, Tony found me hiding up the escape hatch. He dragged me down the ladder very forcefully and threatened that he would torture me and kill me if you died.” She blushed and lowered her gaze. “I’m afraid to be alone with him, that he might hurt me.”
I groaned. Damn Tony. I was going to kick his ass as soon as I was out of this bed. “If he does anything like that again, you tell me, okay? He does like to scare people, but he never hurts women or children. It’s usually himself he likes to hurt.”
Her gaze searched mine. “Why does he hate me so much? Is he afraid I might somehow come between you two? I mean, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything, so I don’t know what his problem is.”
I sighed. “Tony’s…complicated.”
She snorted. “No, shit.”
I chuckled and tried to settle back against the pillows. She set my empty plate on the dresser and rushed forward to help me, plumping the pillows just right and situating them for me, helping me get comfortable.
Then she settled on the edge of the bed and smiled at me. She didn’t look afraid. She seemed comfortable around me. Which was a good sign.
I didn’t want to scare her away with endless questions, so instead I asked, “Want to watch football with me?”
Her eyes lit up. “Yes. I love football.”
She did? Perfect. I patted the bed next to me. “Come sit. We’ll find a game we can watch.”
She hesitated only briefly before settling back on the bed next to me. She trusted me enough to sit beside me like this? Alone? Warmth spread through me. That meant so damn much to me.
And then I did something I’d never done before.
I sat in bed with gunshot wounds that hurt like hell and watched football with a gorgeous girl. A girl who made me forget about the pain and made my heart flutter and my pulse race, and my breath catch whenever she laughed. A girl who cheered on the team she was rooting for, pumping her arms with loud whoops when they scored a touchdown. She got into the game as much as I did, which turned me on immensely. I found my gaze focusing more on her and her reactions than I did on the game. I’d never met a girl like Alissa before. And dammit, I wanted her.
She touched something deep inside me. Something long since dormant, like a deciduous tree awaiting out a long, cold winter. And now spring had arrived. She awakened that something in me, forcing it out of hibernation.
This was a girl I could be happy with. For a very long time.
If I were only to let myself.