Nate
A soldier never leaves one of his own behind.
The dregs had never left one of their own behind. We were loyal to a fault, honor-bound to protect our dreg brothers and see each other safe. Being a dreg was sometimes like a hospital emergency room. Triage. We had to address the most critical issues first.
My dreg brothers had had to choose between saving Tony’s life and freeing me from Enrique’s men. They’d attacked the more critical issue first: saving Tony’s life. Then they’d come for me. And just in time. Another minute—maybe less—and Enrique’s thugs would have taken me out. I was only alive right now because my dreg brothers had come for me. They’d risked their lives to save me.
We were dregs. That’s just what we did.
My life had become a crazy whirlwind not long after I’d given my number to Alissa a few weeks ago. It had been one danger after another ever since I’d gone in to rescue her that first time.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d nearly died twice now. Tony had been seriously injured. All because I’d broken a rule and given my number to Alissa. I would have to get a new phone number soon before any more gangs called me.
I was ready for things to settle down a bit now. So I could relax with Alissa. And tell her how I felt. Would she want to stay with me after everything we’d gone through?
Did I regret any of it? Hell no. I’d give Alissa my number again and again if it meant I could keep her safe. I would die a thousand deaths to see her happy. Did I deserve her? Fuck no. But that didn’t stop me from wanting her. Could I be good enough for her? I wanted to be.
I drifted in and out of consciousness, my mind fuzzy with memories of the past.
I dreamt of my early days with The Company, Tony and I becoming friends and developing trust between us. The General put us through many different trials to test our loyalty to each other. He didn’t want to send us out on a mission if we weren’t willing to save each other. Tony and I had clicked early on, and when we’d been subjected to that first “test” to see if we’d save each other, we’d both passed. Neither one of us had hesitated. We’d worked together as a team, helping each other get out of the “test mission” alive. If we hadn’t cooperated, worked together, one or the other of us would have died on those first missions.
I still didn’t know if Tony was okay. I was in so much pain myself, I couldn’t feel his pain anymore. Was he alive? Had Logan and Alissa saved him? I had to believe they had. I didn’t know how it would feel to lose a dreg partner, but I imagined I would feel Tony’s loss very strongly. Tracker and Jacob both knew how it felt to lose a dreg partner, and I had witnessed how it had torn them up. I never wanted to experience that. Tony and I were very close. I honestly couldn’t imagine a life without him in it in some way.
He was alive. He had to be. If he wasn’t, I would know. I would feel his loss.
I don’t know how long I was out of it. Hours? Days?
But suddenly, true wakefulness hit me. I sensed others close by. Many others.
I struggled to open my eyes, and found myself face-to-face with Tracker.
What the hell? Was I dreaming? What was he doing here?
“Hey man,” he murmured. “Good to have you back.” He clasped my hand and shook it, then stepped back, looking pleased.
Then Jacob was there, standing on the other side of the bed. “Welcome back, Nate. I hear you’ve been through hell.”
Confusion swept through me. What were Tracker and Jacob doing here? I had to be dreaming.
The other dregs all gathered around—Noah, Logan, Luke, Ryan, and Tony, who looked a little pale, but he was indeed alive. I must be dreaming. Or something.
Then Alissa stepped up beside Jacob and took my hand, her eyes bright with fresh tears. “You’re awake,” she said, her voice wobbly with emotion. “Thank God! You’ve been passed out for days. We were so worried about you.”
I blinked, but they didn’t disappear. They were all still there, gathered around my bed. Supporting me. My chest squeezed. I really was alive.
I glanced at Tracker, then Jacob. “Why are you guys here? You’re supposed to be in Idaho.” I glanced around the room, but didn’t see Jessica or Anna. “Where’s your women?”
“They stayed behind to take care of Hazel and Eliza,” Tracker explained. “Noah called us and said you guys had The Company’s files on each of us and that we needed to come see it for ourselves. But we also came to make sure you pulled through okay.”
I glanced at Tony again, standing near the back of the group. Our gazes met. “You doing okay?”
Tony jerked his head in a nod. “Yeah. Alissa saved me.” He glanced at her and she smiled at him. There didn’t appear to be any more animosity between them. He cleared his throat. “I thought she would let me bleed out and die, and none of you would be the wiser. But she saved me. She’s a good woman.”
That was the ultimate compliment coming from Tony. This meant he truly liked and respected her.
Alissa blushed, but her smile grew wider. She and Tony exchanged a glance that I couldn’t interpret. They’d reached some kind of an understanding.
I felt my own lips twitching in response.
“Now that you’re finally awake, we can learn what’s in our files,” Logan spoke up. “Noah wanted to wait until we were all here together.”
Everyone gave their attention to Noah, who stepped forward. He began handing everyone a small packet of papers. Alissa sat on the edge of the bed next to me and held up my stack so I could read it.
“These are your personal files from The Company,” Noah said. “I printed them all out so you could each read your own. At the back of your file is some basic company information I included because I thought you might find it interesting. The Spartans apparently have the same information. There’s no telling what they might do with it.”
Everyone grew silent as we all contemplated that. Then we all began to read. I skimmed over the papers Alissa held out to me, but most of it I’d already read on Darcy’s phone. I had a full sister named Katie who, I learned now, lived in Boston. Katie was twenty-four and single. She owned a hair salon. Our mother had died a few years ago of breast cancer.
The other dregs were all quietly reading their own files. Did any of them have any families still living? Sisters? Mothers? Cousins?
I glanced back at the page in front of me. I’d been born and raised in South Carolina until The General recruited me at age thirteen. He’d apparently kept track of all of his offspring and recruited us when he was ready to turn us into soldiers.
“My mother’s still living,” Ryan murmured, glancing up from his file with a smile. She lives in Oklahoma.
Luke slugged him in the arm. “Lucky bastard. Mine’s deceased.” He paused. “You have any living siblings, other than us?”
Ryan shook his head. “No. Just my mom.” He held Luke’s gaze. “You have any living relatives?”
Luke lowered his gaze. “No. Just you guys.”
“My mom’s living, too,” Noah said quietly. “She’s in Tennessee.” He grinned.
Logan clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s cool. I have a full sister like Nate. She lives in Arizona.” My full sister and Logan’s full sister would be half-sisters to the rest of the dregs, so all of the dregs would be gaining siblings along with us.
Tracker and Jacob both glanced up from their files, shaking their heads.
“My mom was a prostitute,” Jacob informed us, “but I already knew that. I didn’t know if she was still alive, but according to this, she died when I was only six.”
Tracker nodded. “The General already told me he killed my mother. It says here I don’t have any living siblings except for you guys.”
Everyone glanced at Tony, who was still staring at his file.
“This is fucking bullshit!” Tony threw his papers on the floor and stormed out of the room. Moments later, my apartment door slammed.
Everyone exchanged glances.
Tony’s pain spiraled into me then, a sharp emotional lancing. He was hurting. Badly. What had he read in his file?
“Let me see his information.” I waved at Noah, who had bent to retrieve Tony’s fallen papers.
Noah handed them over.
I quickly perused his file. “His mother was a Mexican prostitute named Guadalupe,” I told everyone. “It says here The General met her on a trip to Mexico City and that she handed Tony over to The General not long after he was born, stating she didn’t want him.” Shit. That would make Tony feel even more worthless, knowing his mother hadn’t wanted him. I cleared my throat. “The General gave him to another prostitute to raise until he turned thirteen, and then The General recruited him. He has no other siblings, except for us.”
Silence stretched while everyone thought about that.
“That’s terrible,” Alissa whispered. “How could a mother not want her child?”
Logan cleared his throat.
“The Company is probably watching our families to see if we show up,” Luke pointed out. “It might be smart to stay away from them for now. At least until we deal with the shareholders.”
Everyone nodded their agreement. As much as I wanted to go see my sister, The Company could be watching her house, waiting to see if I showed up. So I’d have to hold off visiting her for now. But someday, I would go find her. And meet her. It would give me something to look forward to when I was finally free.
“Did you guys read the information at the back?” Noah asked after another moment of silence.
We all flipped the pages of our files until we got to the information Noah was referring to.
“Darcy was telling the truth about the four remaining shareholders,” Noah said after everyone had had a few minutes to read over the file. “It appears they are still hunting us. I’m guessing she was also telling the truth when she said she thinks the shareholders are paying the gangs to do their dirty work. And now that the Spartans have our files, we’d be smart to stay hidden. We’ll be on everyone’s radar now.”
Everyone grew quiet as we all contemplated that.
“Enrique still has Darcy,” Alissa said quietly. “I don’t know if any of you care, but I just thought I’d let you know.”
No one responded to that. Darcy had tried to blackmail us. But she was still a human being. I would talk to the other dregs later and see if any of them were willing to try to free her. I wouldn’t push it. Like before, Tony would have to go in after her, but I doubted he would do that for her. At least not right now. Maybe, in time, he’d agree. For now, I wouldn’t say anything to him. He was dealing with other issues.
“We’ll just have to be extra cautious if we venture out of the maze,” I murmured. “The gangs could be anywhere out there, watching for us.” I glanced at Alissa. “And that means you, too. It’s not safe out there. I want you to stay here. Where it’s safe.” With me.
“Okay.”
“Well.” Noah turned toward the door. “I don’t know what, if anything, you guys want to do about the shareholders now. We can all meet later to discuss it.”
There were murmurs of agreement. Then everyone shuffled out, leaving me alone with Alissa. She rose from the bed. “I’ll bet you’re thirsty. Can I get you some water?”
“Yes, please.”
She disappeared from the room, and returned several moments later with a glass of water. I gulped it down and leaned back against the pillows. It was good to be awake. Good to be alive.
“Are you okay?” she asked gently. “You’re frowning.”
I sighed. “I’m worried about Tony.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I don’t know. He’s a little messed up right now.” I paused. “I really need to talk to him, but I know I’m not able to get out of this bed yet. You and Tony seem to be getting along better now. Do you think, maybe, you could find him and see if he’ll come talk to me?”
She didn’t even hesitate. “Of course. Do you need anything before I leave?”
“Yeah.” I needed to hold her for a moment, feel her against me to help remind me I was still alive and she was really here. I grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the bed next to me. She hugged me, as if she’d sensed my need, careful not to touch my injuries, then leaned back.
“What can I get for you? Can I fix you something to eat?”
“I’m definitely hungry. How fast can you make me something?”
She chuckled. “I’ll grab you an apple out of the fridge, then go find Tony. When I come back, I’ll make you something better.”
“Thanks, Alissa.”
Our gazes met. And I found myself wanting to blurt out my feelings for her in that moment.
Not now. Wait until you’re healed.
“I’ll be back.” She turned from the room.
I watched her leave, then settled back against the pillows. When Tony was upset like this, he clammed up and wouldn’t talk to anyone. Except for me. He knew I had his back. Always. Once I talked to Tony, he would feel better. But until then, I was afraid he might do something to harm himself. When he was hurting, he liked to punish himself. Violently. It was how he dealt with his pain.
Alissa returned with my apple, then went to find Tony.
But I knew, even before she returned, that he was struggling with his demons. I felt it deep in my bones. My connection with Tony caused me to feel his misery. He was spiraling downward. Fast.
And because of my bedridden state, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t go to him. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t help him.
Right now, Tony was truly alone.