Alissa
I was going on a mission with the dregs. The excitement of that pumped through my veins. No one had objected when I’d followed Nate and helped him gather weapons. In fact, Nate had seemed grateful that I was willing to help. It made me feel special, being accepted by them, especially since it was obvious I wasn’t one of them. But Tony’s life was at stake, and I was more than willing to help save him. He was Nate’s best friend. I didn’t want to think about what it might do to Nate if Tony died. Tony was starting to grow on me now, and I honestly didn’t want him to die. He was just a lost soul who needed to know that just because his mother hadn’t wanted him and his father had been an asshole didn’t mean he was alone. Maybe he needed to be reminded that all the dregs cared about him and would be there for him always. They were all half-brothers, apparently—except for Jacob—so if Tony remembered that, he would realize he wasn’t alone. But would we get to him before it was too late? I wasn’t a religious person, but in those moments while we gathered weapons and prepared to leave, I prayed, over and over, that Tony would still be alive when we found him and that it wouldn’t be too late.
Fifteen minutes later, we were all heading toward Atlanta, which was in the opposite direction of the gang wars in Augusta. Did that mean we wouldn’t encounter any gangs? Possibly. But there was no guarantee, especially if the gangs were now working for The Company. For all we knew, the shareholders may have hired the gangs to protect them now, so the gangs could be anywhere.
The dregs took separate vehicles. I rode with Nate. Noah and Logan rode together in Logan’s truck. Ryan and Luke road together in Luke’s Camaro. And Jacob and Tracker rode together in Jacob’s BMW. It was obvious Nate was worried as we headed down the dark road toward Atlanta. He was probably afraid we wouldn’t get to Tony in time.
Neither one of us spoke for the first half hour or so, then I glanced askance at him, noting the worried crease of his brow.
“It’ll be okay,” I whispered. “We’ll find him. We’ll save him. We have to be positive right now.”
Nate’s chest expanded as he drew in a deep breath, then puffed it out. “You’re a good person to even want to come along and help, especially after how Tony treated you. Thank you, Alissa. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to help.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Tony’s not a bad guy. He’s just hurting inside. I think he feels alone and unloved after finding out that his mother didn’t want him. I think you need to let him know he’s not alone and that you truly care about him.”
Nate turned back to the road. “Yeah. We’re not much for emotions. None of us are, not after the way we were trained. They beat the emotions out of us, over and over, in an attempt to turn us into cold-blooded killers. We weren’t allowed to feel for so many years.” He paused. “But you’re right. Tony needs to know he’s not alone. And that we all care.”
I turned away for a moment, staring out my window, then glanced back at him. “I never got the impression that none of you had feelings. Even Tony. You’re all good guys, and you care about each other. There’s an obvious bond between all of you. You’re definitely a close-knit group.”
Nate cleared his throat and glanced at me. “Yes, we are. All we had was each other. The General intentionally didn’t allow us to socialize with the other soldiers. He wanted us to bond with our cellmates, our partners, and with the others in our unit. That way we were forced to rely on each other during a mission. That way, we were more likely to succeed on a mission. I don’t think he realized how much closer our bonds would grow after we escaped.” He paused again, then admitted quietly, “You know Tony’s my best friend. He’s always been there for me, even when he didn’t believe in the things I wanted him to do. It would completely shatter me if he died.” His voice cracked and he swallowed hard as he stared out the front windshield.
My heart pinched and twisted with his pain. A huge lump formed in my throat. I reached over and squeezed his hand. “I know. But we’re going to save him. We’re going to get him out of there. We have to believe that.”
He drew in another deep breath and exhaled. And I caught a glimpse of moisture in his eyes. Nate had emotions, whether he wanted to admit it or not. And he cared deeply for Tony. I had no doubt that if Tony died, it would indeed shatter Nate.
And I didn’t even want to contemplate what that might mean.
“Shatter” was a powerful word. To me, it meant losing Tony would break Nate.
And if Nate broke, the man I knew would be gone forever.