Alissa
Nate took me to my friend Grace’s apartment in Eatonton. Her apartment was in a group of two-story complexes, with eight different buildings that formed a U-shape. Grace’s apartment was in the center building, on the top floor. It had been almost a year since I’d last visited Grace, on one of the rare occasions when I had ventured out of my apartment. We’d spent the day shopping and doing lunch, before I’d taken a taxi back to Augusta. I was a horrible friend. I should have visited her more. And now I was here asking for her help. Needy me.
Nate found an empty spot in the parking lot and turned the vehicle off.
No one spoke for a long moment.
Then he turned toward me. “Before you go, there’s something I need to do.”
Before I could say anything, he leaned toward me. Our gazes locked. And I became mesmerized by those green eyes that delved deeply into mine. Anticipation built inside me like a raging inferno. Oh God. Was he going to kiss me? I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t look away.
Then, slowly, he lowered his head until he pressed his lips to mine.
My breath hitched. My eyes drifted closed. And slowly, gently he brushed his lips over mine, back and forth, coaxingly, seductively, igniting a long-dead spark inside me. The spark slowly caught fire and began to burn. Hotter. So hot.
I leaned closer, letting out a breathless sigh, my hands landing on his shoulders, then curling around his neck.
“Nate.” His name was a breathless whisper on my lips. A plea.
He angled his head and deepened the kiss, his hand sliding around to cup the back of my head. His tongue swept out to tease along my lips, urging me to open for him. I shuddered, letting out a soft gasp, and he took complete possession of my mouth, his lips, his tongue, his very essence drawing me in, snagging me and refusing to let go.
The first touch of his tongue against mine unleashed a tidal wave of emotions inside me, washing the coldness away, and filling me with long-suppressed desire.
Someone moaned. I wasn’t sure if it was him or me. But suddenly the kiss turned hotter, deeper, greedier. I never wanted it to stop.
Our breaths quickened. Our hearts raced. I lifted my hands and threaded my fingers through his hair, reveling in the soft sexiness of the dark strands. Yes, oh God, yes. It had been so long since I’d felt anything so wonderful.
The center console got in the way, annoying the hell out of me because I really wanted to climb into his lap and straddle him. Rub all over him. Feel all that hard masculinity against me.
He drew back suddenly, breathing heavily, putting distance between us. I made a small sound of protest, reluctantly letting him go. Coldness swept through me. Emptiness. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to hold onto him forever.
Nate sighed, his hot gaze smoldering into mine. “I don’t know what this is between us, but I had to stop it, or I would end up dragging you into the backseat, and that’s not how I want this to go down. You deserve more than a backseat quickie.”
Heat swept into my cheeks. I swallowed hard, unable to look away from the desire in his eyes.
“Well…” He let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. “Now you know what you’ll be leaving behind if you go. Is it enough to make you stay?”
Yes, I wanted to scream. But I couldn’t. I needed to do this. For me. I needed to know if I could be a strong, independent woman again. On my own. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t weak. Or broken. That I could be worthy of Nate.
“I want to,” I admitted. “But I’m not ready. You deserve more than what I can give right now.”
His gaze was serious as it held mine. He nodded once. “If you ever decide to come back—which I hope to God you do—then I promise we will explore whatever this is between us.”
I could so easily fall in love with this man. There was honor in him. Decency. Kindness. Gentleness. Loyalty. Goodness. He was everything a man should be, and then some.
He had reawakened sexual desire in me, something I had believed would never happen. Nate was bringing everything back to life inside me. For the first time in three years, I truly wanted to live.
How could I walk away from this? From him?
You’re doing the right thing, no matter how much it hurts. You’re not ready for him yet. But if you try really hard, maybe you can be strong enough for him someday.
My throat tightened with emotion. I had to do this. I had to make myself worthy of him.
He held his hand out to me. “Good luck, Alissa. And please, be careful. The Spartans found Jacob here, so if they come snooping around, they could find you, too. And you’ll have to watch out for Enrique’s thugs. He’s probably pissed that you got away and that we killed twenty-five of his men. It would be smart for you to lay low for a while.”
I nodded, but I was done being afraid. Done hiding out. Done lying low. But I didn’t tell Nate that. I was going to find the true Alissa, and no one—not the Spartans and not the Sureños—was going to stop me.
I shook Nate’s hand, the soothing warmth from his palm seeping into me, a painful reminder of what I was giving up. Of what I was walking away from.
A wonderful man. God, was I a complete idiot?
“I hope to see you again someday soon.” His voice was a soft rumble, the sexy lilts and drawls in his speech mesmerizing me, dragging me in like they always did. Yes, I was a fool. But when I came back to him, I vowed I would be stronger, braver, worthy of Nate. No longer broken inside. I would knock him completely off his feet.
“Me, too.” I quickly turned away before I lost it. Shoving open my door, I stepped out, then hurried up the steps to Grace’s apartment. Nate waited until I went inside before he drove off.
Would I ever see him again?
And if I did, would he still want me?