I hadn't even bothered with the pretense of buying a drink and taking a seat. The Den was the only club of its kind in the city and I hadn't wanted to drive the extra distance to one of the others located between here and Denver. There weren't many, and if a person wasn't in the lifestyle, they'd never know about any of them. Discretion was how people like me managed to stay respectable for the public. Stupid, in my opinion, since everything we did was between consenting adults, but people tended to get weird about things they didn't understand.

I'd been worried that I'd run into Sarah at The Den, but I'd only seen her from a distance and she'd been thoroughly involved in giving a blowjob to a hefty man in leather. The club hadn't been very full since it was a week night, but I still had variety to choose from. After only a few minutes, I spotted a Sub standing on the outside fringes of the dance floor.

A little taller than average, she wore a tiny little dress that her nice curves accentuated. Long, straight blonde hair, the kind of platinum blonde that usually came from a box. Pouty lips and high cheekbones gave her a striking look.

It hadn't been her appearance that had made me go to her though. No, it had been the complete subservience that had gotten my attention. Her head had been down, eyes lowered so I hadn't been able to see their color. Her hands were clasped behind her back, her posture saying that she was willing to serve.

I'd approached her as I'd seen a couple other men do. They'd been turned away. I hadn't been. Lita, as she'd introduced herself, had been told by her master to stand here until a worthy man had approached. I'd considered walking away at that point, but then her master had come up and told me what he'd been looking for. Someone to dominate Lita, but not expect to ever see her again. There'd be no exchange of names, no plans made. It would be one night, and that would be all. It was nice to know I wouldn't have to worry about her wanting to see me again.

Since the last two encounters hadn't managed to completely clear my head, I'd agreed, thinking that something new might be just what I was looking for. The Dom had then given me the safe words as well as what I wasn't allowed to do to Lita. Nothing on the list had been anything I'd been into, so it was easy to agree.

I hadn't taken Lita to the house, just in case she and her Dom were thieves or worse. I didn't want to show them where I lived. I had excellent security, but being cautious was always a good idea. The hotel we were currently in was known for its discretion...plus I'd rented the penthouse, which meant it'd be less likely that any neighbors would hear me.

Well, that might've been an issue if Lita hadn't been under strict instructions from her Dom not to say a word unless it was her safe word. I had a feeling this was a game they played often, and how well she did would determine if she received a punishment or a reward.

I had no problem with that and, at the moment, Lita didn't have to worry about it since her mouth was full. The moment we'd entered the room, she'd gone down on her knees, clasped her hands behind her back, head down. As soon as I'd asked, the dress had come off, revealing she wasn't wearing anything underneath. I'd kept my clothes on, undoing my pants and pushing them down far enough to pull out my cock.

“Open.”

She did as she was told and I slid my cock into her mouth. I put my hand on her head, and she stilled, waiting for me to take control. I twisted my fingers in her silky hair and pulled her towards me. I was still soft enough that she could take all of me without a problem. I held her against me as she worked her tongue around my cock as it swelled. I waited for her to struggle, but she didn't. I pulled her back, letting her have a moment to breathe before I pushed forward again. Again, she took it all.

I moaned as the head of my cock slid down her throat. She swallowed, throat muscles massaging me. I put my other hand on her head, holding her still as I thrust into her mouth. I kept my strokes steady and even, not wanting to push her too far, but it still felt amazing. Her eyes stayed down, hands clasped, her body motionless.

After a few minutes, I pulled back, my cock glistening. I was hard, but didn't want sex yet. I needed to let off some steam.

“Stand up.”

She did as she was told, assuming the position with her feet shoulder distance apart. I circled around her, wishing I had some of the things from my playroom. A flogger, maybe a dildo or some other toy. I wanted to see if I could make her break her silence.

I pulled my belt from my pants. I didn't use one very often, but I knew how to do it without damaging her. I ran my hand over her ass and gently squeezed. Nothing.

“I'm going to use this.” I held up the belt so she could see it. “Spank your ass until it's red. Then I'm going to bend you over the bed and fuck you.”

I tapped her ass with the leather of the belt, but she didn't flinch. This wasn't her first time. I took a step back and snapped the belt against one cheek. A faint pink stained her skin. I swung again, harder this time. Still, no sound. As I continued, her skin turned from pink to red, but I didn't get a gasp or a moan. Nothing to indicate if she was enjoying herself or if she bore this because she had to.

I scowled, tossing the belt onto the bed. This wasn't doing anything for me. I wanted a response, to know what she was feeling. I understood her instructions from her Master, but she didn't even appear to be struggling against the command. That was the problem with dealing with a Sub who'd been trained by a singular Dom. They knew what their Master liked, not necessarily how to please others.

I wrapped my hand around my cock and stroked it, the feel of familiar flesh under my palm. “Bend over the bed.”

She walked over to the bed and did as I asked. No complaint, no attitude at all. I preferred a woman with some fire, even in a Sub. I walked up behind her and put one hand on her hip. I reached between her legs and found her wet. I guess that answered whether or not she was enjoying herself. That was something, at least, I supposed.

I rolled a condom over my cock and positioned myself at her entrance. I thought about going slow, but decided against it. I snapped my hips forward and finally felt a response. Her body jerked and she sucked in a breath. I wasn't sure it counted as a sound, but it was something.

I slammed into her, gripping her hips hard enough to bruise. Her breasts swayed with every thrust and her ass burned against my skin. I slid a hand beneath her. Her master hadn't said she couldn't come, only that she couldn't make a sound. I intended to find out if she could come silently.

My fingers found her clit easily enough, swollen and throbbing. She hissed as I brushed my finger across the sensitive flesh. I rubbed it harder, not quite rough, but hard enough that whatever she was experiencing was doubled in intensity. Fast enough to hurt. Judging by the way her body started to push back against me, that was what she liked.

I drove deep into her as I pinched her clit and she came with a moan. It wasn't a loud sound, but it was a sound nonetheless.

“Your master isn't going to be happy with you.” I fisted her hair, twisting her head back to look at me.

“Since I'm to be punished already.” Her voice was thick with desire. “May I ask a request?”

“Ask.”

She writhed back against me. “Fuck my ass.”

Not what I was expecting.

“Please,” she asked.

“Don’t you want to come again?”

“If you fuck my ass, I will.”

I pulled out of her and took my hand from between her legs. My fingers were slick with her arousal. I pressed my finger against her asshole, working it in much easier than I'd expected.

Lita moaned. “More.”

I slapped her ass with my hand, hard enough to make my palm hurt.

“Sir, please. Sir. More.”

Better. I rewarded her with a second finger. She threw back her head and moaned deep in her throat.

“Sir, I'm ready, Sir.” She pushed back against my hand, shoving my fingers deeper. Harder. Faster.

I knew I hadn't stretched her enough, but I withdrew my fingers and placed my cock against her. I moved slowly, finding less resistance than I normally would. She made a practice of this, I was sure. She clearly loved the pleasure pain it gave her.

“Does your master fuck you like this?” I asked as my balls rested against her hot cheeks. Her muscles gripped me, squeezed me, sucked me in.

“Only when I've been good, Sir.”

“So you figured I'd give you your reward since your master's going to punish you?” I pulled back and eased forward again. Lita didn't say anything, but it didn't matter. I knew the answer anyway.

Suddenly, I just wanted this to be done. I didn't want to be here, not really. My cock was throbbing painfully, begging me to finish, so I moved faster. There was no real desire, nothing but the basic primal need for release. Lita was making all sorts of sounds of pleasure now, leaning on one arm as her fingers were busy beneath her. I could feel her body starting to tense and knew she was close again.

“Just come, already, dammit!” I growled from between gritted teeth.

As if she'd been waiting for permission or a command, she came. Her body stiffened, muscles tightening around me until I exploded. The pleasure was there, racing across my nerves, but it was a mere release of pressure, the same I'd feel if I'd had a headache go away or relieved an overly full bladder. There was no connection, nothing to make me lose myself. Nothing that made me want to do it again.

I pulled out of her ass and climbed off the bed, heading to the bathroom without a word. I climbed into the shower without waiting for it to heat up. The cold drops were like ice against my skin at first and I began to shiver. I closed my eyes as I leaned against the back wall, the tile cool against my palms. What was I doing?

Lara had broken my heart and I'd vowed to never risk that hurt again unless I found someone who was worth it. But was I really looking? Not that I thought I should be out there searching for a woman, but the places I went to find women, the women I took to bed, these weren’t the kind of woman I'd ever fall for. They were distractions, one night stands. I made sure it was never anything else.

I'd always told myself that I was protecting myself, but had that been an excuse? A lie I'd told myself so I wouldn't have to face the truth? The truth was… I was absolutely petrified, but not of being hurt again. Not really. The fear was there, but it wasn't forefront in my mind. No, I was afraid that I would never fall in love for real. That I'd never find the kind of woman who I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. The kind of woman who would challenge me emotionally and intellectually. Someone I could talk to and enjoy being with. Whose body would respond to mine. The sort of woman I would be willing to give up everything for, but who would never ask it of me.

I knew she didn’t exist.

I rubbed my hands over my face and reached back for the hotel shampoo. I'd thought I hadn't really known what I'd wanted, which was why I'd been on a mission to keep looking. That wasn't the case. I knew what I wanted, I just didn't think I'd ever find it.

One thing was for sure, though, what I was doing had to stop. I couldn't keep living like this. I didn't know what that would mean for the future, but I had a feeling it would mean throwing myself into work until nothing else registered.

I'd call Zeke, I decided. Talk it over with him. He'd help me figure out where I wanted to go next.