I usually tried to avoid shopping. Especially shopping in the real world. The best thing about computers, in my opinion, was the ability to shop without having to actually be out in public. With Christmas Eve being two days away, however, I figured it was worth the hassle of going out rather than paying for overnight shipping and maybe not getting it in time anyway.

Not that I had any clue what to get him. He was, after all, a multi-millionaire. What could I offer him? I'd never had to buy a Christmas present before, much less a Christmas present for a boyfriend. What did people buy for boyfriends anyway? Even ones that weren't rich.

I spent the entire night running through ideas, but none of them struck me as being worth anything. Gift cards. Something to do with sports. Except I didn't know what stores or restaurants he liked. What sports he followed, much less what teams. It hadn't really hit me before how little I actually knew about the man I loved. We weren't all about sex. We did talk. We just didn't seem to talk about those kinds of things, our favorite colors or songs, the kind of things that people were supposed to talk about on first dates. We had talked about work and school, but neither of those things really helped me figure out a gift. I wanted something personal, but not like a stalker-ish, moving too fast kind of gift. I didn't want him to think I was trying to get a ring or commitment or something like that.

When I stepped into the Fort Collins mall, I wondered if I'd made a mistake. After those couple instances of freaking out at Santa Claus, I'd avoided any public place from about a week before Thanksgiving until after New Year's. Now, I stood in the middle of a place that basically looked like Christmas threw up. There were garlands hanging everywhere, festive music playing and at least half a dozen huge trees decorated with giant red and gold bulbs.

And everywhere I looked, people. Lots of people. All jostling each other as they hurried from store to store, their arms full of bags even as they talked and texted.

I definitely didn't want to linger.

Fortunately for me, there was a mall map just a couple feet away. I didn't know what I wanted, but at least that would help me narrow things down. It wasn't like I was going to buy him body wash or lingerie.

I laughed to myself as I walked over to the map. The lingerie was actually not a bad idea. I could only imagine the look on his face if I bought something slinky and sexy. I wouldn't feel right about making that his present though, even though I knew he'd disagree. It was too bad I didn't know where any stores were that sold sex toys. I probably could've found one, but as much as I'd had sex before Rylan and how much I enjoyed being kinky with him, I'd never gone into a sex shop – again, the joys of online shopping – and this didn't really seem like the best time to see if I could handle it.

Still, I liked the idea of buying something for myself for Christmas. Just because Rylan would enjoy it too didn't mean it wasn't a present for me. I was thinking something with lace and silk, maybe in blue.

For him, however, the map showed a couple electronics stores nearby, so I figured that would be the best place to start. He was, after all, a techie like me.

I headed down into the right corridor with no idea what I was looking for. The first store sold mostly the big electronics – televisions, gaming systems, sound systems – and I knew he didn't need any of those. From what I'd seen, he already had the newest and the best. The next store was tiny and packed so tightly that I couldn't even get inside. It looked like it was all phones and iPods, so I knew there wouldn't be anything in there I'd want either.

I was on my way to the third store when I saw a place that sold suits and ties. Rylan didn't need any suits and I didn't have his measurements even if I had wanted to buy him one. A tie, however, was a possibility.

I was standing next to a particularly expensive-looking silver one when one of the sales people approached. One look at him and I knew I wouldn’t be buying anything here, no matter how nice the merchandise. The man was only a couple inches taller than me, thin, and wearing an expertly-cut black suit. His mouth was twisted as if he smelled something foul.

“May I help you?” His question implied anything but a helpful attitude.

“I was thinking of buying this for my boyfriend.” I was pretty sure I said it as much to see his reaction as anything else. I had no doubt what he pictured as the only kind of guy who'd be interested in me.

“That particular tie is quite expensive, Miss. I'm sure your boyfriend would be more interested in something,” he sneered, “faux leather.”

My mouth flattened into a thin line. If he'd stuck with a fake smile, I probably would've just laughed, but I'd had enough of people acting like I was beneath them. I looked around the store. “I don't know about that,” I said in a sickly sweet voice. “I'm pretty sure Rylan Archer was named one of the best-dressed CEOs in the country.”

Eyebrows went up. “Rylan Archer? The multi-millionaire CEO of Archer Enterprises?”

I nodded. “I was looking for a present for him, but I won't be getting it here.” I turned to go, but then stopped and looked at the man again. “And in case you don't believe me, check out the society page. I'm sure there are pictures of us at Lara Roache's Christmas party.”

“You know Lara Roache.” The color drained from his face.

I smiled at him. “Bet you're wishing you would've just tried to sell me that tie right about now, huh?”

I didn't give him the opportunity to say anything as I walked back out into the crowd. I wasn't going to try another clothing store. I doubted I'd get a warmer reception at any store that sold anything worth buying for someone like Rylan. It wasn't like I could just walk into any old place and buy a sweatshirt or something like that.

I sighed as I walked into the last electronics store. It was pretty busy, so I was saved from having to deal with anyone asking if I needed help. Either that or they assumed I could take care of myself and they should focus on the eighty year-old man who kept asking where he could buy the internet for his grandson.

I checked out the laptops and all of the neat little gadgets that people like Rylan and I loved to use. There were a couple things I could see myself wanting, but I was pretty sure Rylan already had them. I couldn't see having his money and not buying all of this fun stuff.

“Dammit,” I muttered as I head back out into the corridor. I had absolutely no clue what I would do now.

I wandered aimlessly, sticking close to the walls so I'd be out of the way as I slowly walked. I looked in the stores as I passed, my brain processing the weirdest things. I saw the decorations. The sale signs. Sometimes I saw what they were selling. Shoes – though I wasn't sure who'd buy shoes for Christmas. Major appliances. Toys, toys and more toys. Jewelry. Lotions. Perfumes.

I stopped in front of a bookstore window. There were titles on display, fiction and nonfiction. One of them was How to Make a Million Dollars Before Twenty-One. I smiled. Rylan definitely didn't need that one. He probably could've written it even though he’d made more at a younger age.

“Guess you don't really need that book, do you?”

I stiffened at the familiar voice. Shit. What was he doing here? I plastered on a fake smile as I turned. “Merry Christmas, Zeke.”

He didn't bother to pretend to be polite. He gestured towards the book in the window. “You think you could've made the book a lot shorter, right? All you have to do is fuck a rich guy, after all.”

I dropped the smile. “What is your problem, Zeke?”

He ignored my question. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Shopping, what does it look like?” I snapped. I barely managed to keep from calling him an asshole.

“If you're looking for something for Rylan, don't bother.” Zeke crossed his arms over his chest. “It's not like you're really his girlfriend or anything. You're a fling, nothing more.”

My patience was wearing thin. “Shows what you know. I'm spending Christmas with him.”

“He's taking you to meet his family?” Zeke raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised that I’d be welcomed into that inner sanctum.

“No.” I scowled at his attitude and the smirk that sprung on his lips when I said the word. “But I'm staying at his house Christmas Eve and Day. Aside from the few hours he visits his parents, it will be him and me.”

Zeke's green eyes flashed with anger. “You're spending Christmas Eve with him too?”

“Yes.” I turned away from him. “And if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do.”

“What in the world do you think you could get him?” Zeke asked. He sounded closer, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he was starting to get to me. “The man has all the money he could want. He has friends and family, people who care about him. He doesn't need you or anything you can give him.”

I took a slow, deep breath. I wanted to go off on him, tell him exactly what I could provide Rylan in vivid detail, but I didn't. I may not have liked the guy, but he was Rylan's best friend, even if for reasons I couldn't fathom. Either he'd get over his issues with me or he wouldn't. I refused give him ammunition to use against me with Rylan. I wouldn't be that girl.

“Have a Merry Christmas, Zeke.” I walked away, my pace fast, but not so fast that it looked like I was running. I just knew that I had to get away before I said something I regretted.

I rounded the corner and ducked into a coffee shop to make sure he wasn't following me. I told myself I was just being overly cautious because of what happened with Christophe, but deep down I knew there was something about Zeke that just didn't sit right with me. After a couple minutes of surreptitiously watching through the giant glass window, I relaxed.

I went to the counter and ordered hot chocolate. I needed to take a bit of a break and think. At least some of what Zeke had said was true. Rylan had more than enough money to buy anything he wanted or needed. Anything I looked at that I thought he might like, he probably either had it or didn't want it. What I needed to do, I realized, was find something personal to give him.

Shit. I frowned at the whipped cream melting in my cocoa. I sucked at personal. I supposed that meant jewelry with some sort of engraving on it. Cufflinks with his initials. A watch that said how I felt about him. The thing was, Rylan wasn't that kind of guy. Sure, he wore suits and tuxes for special occasions, but I'd seen him more often in jeans and casual shirts. He was comfortable enough in his own skin that he could wear anything and look good, but I knew he didn't enjoy being the public face of the company, and that included all of the necessary social events. Did I really want to get him something he'd only wear when he was doing those things? I had to admit, part of me liked the idea since it meant there would always be something of mine with him when he met up with those high society types. Anyone could get a watch or cufflinks though. For all I knew, he had a drawer full of things like that, given to him by his family, friends or even some of the other women he'd been with.

What I needed was something special. Something that had meaning. I didn't care if no one else understood it or thought it was important. It had to be the kind of gift that only I could give.

I finished my drink and walked across to the lingerie store. While I was thinking, I figured I might as well buy a couple things that, while not his present, Rylan would enjoy. I liked sexy bras and underwear, but I always bought ones that were functional as well as attractive. I'd never bought lingerie for the singular purpose of looking good for a man.

The best part of walking into the store was that not a single saleswoman batted an eye. The one that came over had a big smile on her face and I could tell it wasn't fake.

“Looking for something special for someone special?” She winked at me.

I chuckled. It was a bit silly, but I'd take that over rude any day. She asked my measurements and, less than ten minutes later, had a couple different things for me to try on. They ran from barely there ribbons and strings that left nothing to the imagination to corsets that squeezed me into shapes I was never meant to be. I spent over an hour in the store, but when I left, I had half a dozen new undergarments that I bought with the singular purpose of sex with Rylan.

And I had an idea for a Christmas present that only I could give him.